Destiny Will Not Be Ignored
by LoganVan
Summary: The story takes place during New Moon. Alice never saw Bella jump from the cliff, therefore they never went to Italy. Bella and Edward try to start over without one another. Are they destined to be together?
1. Leaving the Past Behind

**Leaving the Past Behind**

**Of course like everyone else I don't own any characters you may recognize from Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Series.**

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BPOV

Sitting on my bed reflecting on how I have gotten to where I am today, a deep sigh escaped. Everything that happened since moving to Forks has affected me so profoundly I wondered where my future would lead. The future seemed so clear before moving here and then altered to a very different one after living here for several months. But here I am one year later and I haven't a clue.

What I am sure of to my very core is that I wouldn't change my past one bit…well maybe that's not entirely true. With one wish I would change my life so drastically...but that's not something I can dwell on now, that time has passed. It's time to say good-bye.

Standing up to look out my bedroom window I saw my red truck sitting in the street with a For Sale sign on it. I just recently convinced Charlie that it was time to sell it. He in turn argued that it might be best to keep so when I returned there would be transportation available. I couldn't tell him I wouldn't be returning, after leaving today I will never return. Forks, Washington no longer holds anything more for me, it's time to live the life "He" intended me to live.

I moved from the window, zipped up my backpack and looked around one last time. As my eyes scanned the room of my childhood, the same dreary walls and faded curtains, the rocking chair in the corner…visions of "him" sitting in it flashed across my mind. Well at least there were no more tears, regrets but no more tears. Throwing my pack on my shoulder I slowly closed my bedroom door overwhelmed with nostalgia.

Charlie and Jake were at the door ready to take me to the airport. I really didn't want a scene, but both of the men in my life insisted on seeing me off. The school I chose to attend would be feasible considering my meager earnings from Newton's and the little Charlie and Renee could afford. I applied for every scholarship available and was rewarded for my efforts with a full scholarship to Champlain College in Burlington Vermont. Considering everything, I'm optimistic about the whole college experience that awaits me, although it doesn't have the same meaning it could have.

The desire to get as far away from Washington as possible was the compelling reason for such a drastic move, but I still couldn't consider a location that would bring heat and sunshine. Bright sunshine no longer holds the appeal that it once did. "A clean break" those were the words that resounded in my thoughts. Leaving Forks was my only choice this was important in order for me to find peace. Breaking all ties to my past would help me to move forward.

"Are you ready, Bells?" Charlie asked, while trying hard not to show his anxiety. I smiled gently to reassure him this is really what happens when a daughter grows up.

"Sure, I've never been more ready. Let's go!" I took his hand and smiled quickly at Jake as we headed out the door. "Thanks for driving Jake, I'd hate to have Charlie's police cruiser as part of my departing memories."

"Bells, you know there was no way you could leave without me seeing you off. What kind of best friend do you think I am?" He pulled me into a tight hug lifting my feet off the ground. Pushing back I smiled hoping the tears wouldn't start. He gazed into my face and kissed me on the forehead.

"Okay, enough you two. If we don't get a move on Bella will miss her flight." Charlie already had the passenger door open of Jake's VW rabbit waiting for me to climb in. All the memories were threatening to crush me, I smile remembering how long and hard Jake worked on restoring his car. The ploy Billy used to get him to the Prom warning me against spending time with "him", it wasn't really necessary after all.

"No, Charlie. You ride in the front. I'm fine in the back." I threw my backpack across the backseat and jumped in, taking one more glance at the house that holds so many memories, too many memories…again the sting of tears threaten to escape and I closed my eyes to hold them back.

The flight to VT was full, but I had a window seat giving me the chance to lean against the window for a little more room. Plugging my ear buds into my iPod I prepared for the long flight, successfully drowning out the rest of the people boarding and the flight crew preparing for takeoff. There was just one other thing I needed for this trip, pulling my backpack out from under the seat and reaching into the pocket I grasped the photos placed in the bag before leaving home. Saying good-bye required this visual.

Gazing once again into the eyes of beauty, knowing I'd never tire looking at them, the need to say good-bye was strong. The slightly faded photo still hel the same pull on my heart it always had. This time as my eyes start to tear I let them flow. As the woman sitting next to me lightly touched me to get my attention; I jumped slightly. Pulling one of the buds out of my ear, I apologized. "Sorry, I didn't hear you."

She smiled and nodded to the photo in my hand, "I assume your heading off to school and he's not joining you. I assume your heading off to school and he's not joining you. Leaving your love behind will only help build a stronger relationship. Don't worry dear; if it's meant to be, all will work out. Otherwise, enjoy what you have and know that it all leads to a fuller life in the end."

At first I was shocked and just stared at her, then found my voice to explain, "No, this relationship was over a long time ago. I'm just now realizing that it's time to say goodbye for the last time." Looking down at the photo in my hand I put it back. Leaning back in my seat she replied encouragingly, "Who knows maybe it won't be the last time, maybe some distance will only increase his desire."

If only... then again his desire is what drove him away in the first place. Glancing at her again I find the courage to voice what I've been trying to convince myself, "that would be nice, but I'm sure this is a whole new beginning." Closing my eyes again, I sighed putting my ear buds back in and resumed listening to the wonderful piano chords that bring back beautiful memories.

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EPOV

I've done nothing for the past year…except to disgrace to my family. Wallowing in self-pity had become my favorite past time. When I left Bella I insisted she move on with her life, urging her to move towards a future that she deserved. When I committed that dreadful act, my future no longer existed. There was nothing anyone could offer to encourage me to help my own time here. Pathetic, that's what I had become. It's time to snap out of it and do something with myself.

Esme and Carlisle had tried unsuccessfully to get me to think about going back to school…again. It's about time that I consider this option. Moving on and starting over held little interest. Rosalie and Emmett are off again, no doubt on another honeymoon. I hadn't bothered to pay much attention to the details of their trip. Jasper and Alice have headed to the New York City so Alice could shop and Jasper could visit museums.

Walking out of my room to find Carlisle. I stopped outside his office door and overheard him and Esme discussing me…again. "What are we going to do if he doesn't want to join us", Esme asked. Listening to Carlisle's thoughts as well as his words brought more shame. _'He probably won't, but it has to be his choice'_. "Esme, he may only be seventeen by human standards, but he's well over a hundred in vampire years. We cannot insist he join us. He'll only become even more disagreeable if we force his hand on this."

I knocked on the door and entered, nodding my head to acknowledge that I knew what they are discussing. "I've decided to join my family wherever we are headed. I apologize for causing so much of a rift in the family this past year, its time to move on. My intent for Bella was to keep her safe and let her enjoy life, so I should follow my own advice."

Esme walked over and kissed me on the cheek. "Edward, Bella meant so much to our whole family. It's been hard on everyone, if you have made the decision to live your life without her, then you need to do just that. I'm sure your brothers and sisters will be just as pleased to hear about your decision." She patted me on the shoulder as she left the room.

'_You know you've made her very happy, thank you. We'll be leaving in the morning, go pack up your things and be prepared to leave first thing. Jasper and Alice will meet us at our new home. Alice has probably already bought you some things for your new room, considering she saw the decision as soon as you made it"_ he said chuckling.

I started to leave his office when I realized I hadn't asked where we were moving. "Carlisle, where to this time?"

'_South Hero, VT, the populace is very small, yet proximity to some state parks is very good as well as the town of Burlington, which is where I'll be practicing. You should consider going to one of the colleges in town as well. Esme found a wonderful house with plenty of room and privacy. I'm actually looking forward to a change, especially now with your change in attitude.'_ Carlisle nodded letting me know I was excused as he had a great deal to pack himself.

Quickly making it back to my room I glanced around, this was never my home. Very little effort was put forth to make this room anything but a sanctuary. Ever since leaving Forks, everything remained packed away and the need to unpack never arose. When we arrived at our new home, I would make a better attempt at joining my family in daily activities. Esme would send my piano with the larger pieces of furniture, the only thing I needed to concern myself with were the CDs, sound system and my clothes.

I stood gazing out the window once again letting my mind wander. What has happened to Bella, is she happy, does she remember me? Stop. I have to stop this, it's time to move on and let these memories go. Otherwise my family and I will spend eternity trying to overcome a decision that I made so long ago.

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	2. Bader Hall

**Bader Hall**

**I do not own any of the characters in Twilight. **

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BPOV

Getting to Champlain College from the airport was pretty easy, even with someone as klutzy as I am. I only tripped getting out of the cab as it reached my final destination and fortunately my backpack didn't spill. Bader Hall, my new home was a beautiful 25-bed school housing facility and afforded me the ability to meet new people without being overwhelmed by too many new faces. I was never very good at meeting new people and now that I'm here this familiar characteristic threatened to overpower me. Shouldering my backpack and standing up straight I entered the building while admiring its façade. As I stepped across the main entrance I began to smile, maybe this really was a good idea.

Each residence hall at Champlain is unique; perhaps Bader Hall could make me happy. It was a Victorian-era mansion and featured a curved staircase to the room that will be my home for the next few years.

As I admired the hallway, a young girl approached extending her hand, "Hi, I'm Anne. I'm the live-in resident here at Bader and I'm here to help you settle in. You are…"

I quickly shood her hand and told her my name; I could tell we're would get along just fine. She seems really down to earth and doesn't make me feel awkward at all. Anne is about 5'5" with a round friendly face and russet colored hair. Her green eyes sparkle with mischief and kindness, yes we're going to get along just fine.

"Let me show you to your room Bella. I have a feeling you're going to love it here at Bader Hall. You have one of the better rooms, although any room here is great. Once one of the guys gets back from the quad I'll have them help you with your trunks. No sense in you and I trying to get them up the stairs when we can have them do it", she said laughing.

While we are walking up the stairs, I admired the woodwork, it appeared to be beautifully restored. Although this was college housing its apparent they are very proud of the building structures on campus. The entire house had been kept in pristine condition and didn't have the gloom of a typical dorm, nor did it show neglect from various people moving in and out. Anne opened the third door on the left and stood back so I could enter. I couldn't believe my eyes; the room featured a beautifully expansive window that overlooking Lake Champlain and the Adirondack mountains. I realized that I'd been holding my breath and let it out with a big whoosh, Anne started laughing and said, "I'll never get tired of that reaction."

I continued looking around the room and was pleasantly surprised by the homey atmosphere. Even with the room being empty of personal belongings it still had a feeling of warmth. It was plenty big with two beds, two closets, two desks, two dressers and a private bath.

"Has my roommate arrived yet?" I asked Anne shyly. "I'm a little anxious to meet the person who I'll be sharing this wonderful room with in the coming year."

"No, not yet but don't worry. We match each resident up with their personal profiles, I'm sure you'll get along just fine. Her name is Roxanne and she shares your passion for literature and music. She should be arriving tomorrow afternoon, so you get first choice of the side of the room you want," she said encouragingly.

"Well Bella, I'll let you get settled in for now. The guys will be back soon, I'll make sure they bring your trunks up right away. Just head downstairs when you're ready to take a tour of the Hall." With that she closed the door and left me to get acclimated.

I couldn't believe my good fortune, I turned and gazed out the window again and smiled. The leaves on the trees hadn't started changing yet as it was too early in the season, but I could tell when fall arrived our view was going to be breathtaking. Placing my backpack on the bed closest to the windows, I turned towards the room and began imagining how it would look once two girls claimed it as their own.

My nerves started jumping around again as I anticipated the person that would be sharing space with me. So her name was Roxanne and she enjoyed literature and music, not a lot to go on but it would have to do until she arrived tomorrow. I sighed again for what felt like the millionth time today and picked up my backpack. Emptying it of everything I'd thrown inside, I remembered the photo again – funny how "he" is never very far from the forefront of my thoughts. I pulled out the photo and wondered what he would make of my new life. Oh well, so much for that thought.

May as well head downstairs and get a tour of the Hall before Anne started thinking I was a recluse. After all, it wasn't like I could unpack anything with my trunks still downstairs.

Walking out of my room I headed down the stairs just as 3 guys came rushing in the front entrance. I stopped short so I could get a quick look at them before they saw me. They all seemed to know one another as they were playfully punching and wrestling. Anne came walking from the back of the house and smiled, "Hey guys, one of our new residents has arrived and I was wondering if you could bring her trunks up to her room."

One of them said, "Sure, no problem. Which room?" Pulling himself away from the other two he walked over and gave her a big hug. She giggled, "Not now, bring Bella's trunks up to her room and introduce yourself."

At this point, I had to speak or look like a complete fool standing on the steps. So I said, "Hi, no need to rush. I was just coming down for a tour of the hall, if you want to hold off till after the tour that would be fine." I continued my way down the stairs as the other two guys stared at me. Just as luck would have it I was so nervous I tripped on the third to the last step and wound up in one of the their arms. Ugh, always the graceful entrance.

Pushing against him I straightening myself up and managed to say, "Um, thanks. Sorry about that, I tend to trip over my own feet quite a bit."

He smiled down at me, "Don't worry I could get used to catching you. I'm Ian and this," pointing behind him, "is Drake."

"Nice to meet you Ian, and you too Drake." At this point, I turned to Anne and she introduced me to Sam. "Well Bella, what do you say we give you the grand tour." She turned and began walking towards the back of the house.

I was amazed at how comfortable the common room was with a suede sectional facing a fireplace. A large flat screen LCD was on the other side of the room, complete with a Wii system. There was additional seating around the room in clusters to make it a comfortable environment for entertaining and relaxing. The room had floor to ceiling windows overlooking the lake and the mountains just as my room upstairs had. But these particular windows had a sliding door that led out to a deck where plenty of chaise lounges and a chiminea were situated. I couldn't believe this was college. It was like a bed and breakfast in the heart of Burlington instead of a residence hall amidst a college campus.

The kitchen was huge with plenty of space for all of the tenants to enjoy meals at once if necessary. Although with everyone having their own course schedules this was highly unlikely. There was a study room complete with a full library, 4 desks and 2 armchairs positioned in front of another fireplace. Anne proceeded to tell me that the hall was equipped with wireless Internet, so yeah…so much for my old dial-up from Forks. The last thing she showed me was the basement, which featured washers, dryers and a pool table. Yes, this would be a good start towards my new future. The fact that my residence hall felt so much like a home would make a huge impact on my future. Now if only I could sustain my nerves when meeting everyone else in the house.

Ian and Drake assisted in getting my trunks up to the room so I could unpack and truly get settled in. Ian was a nice enough guy, about 5'11'' with dark brown hair, green eyes and a goatee. Drake was shorter and heavier; he had reddish brown curly hair with brown eyes. They seemed very friendly.

After dropping one of my trunks, Drake left but Ian stayed behind in case I needed assistance moving the trunks. He was thin with a nice build, not too muscular yet not scrawny. As he lifted my trunk I noticed he did it with ease. He didn't push to find out all about me, but I noticed he did seem interested. Letting me know there was storage space in the attic, he volunteered to help remove them once I unpacked.

Drake came into the doorway just as Ian sat on one of the beds, "Hey Ian, ready for me to kick your butt in a little eight ball?"

"As if you could," he said rolling his eyes. "Excuse me Bella; I have to show this guy how to play pool. If you finish soon, head on down so I have a witness to the slaughtering." He chuckled as he stood to leave, closing the door behind him.

I figured it was as good a time as any to call Charlie and let him know everything was going well. With a 3-hour time difference he might still be at Billy's so I decided to try there first. Pulling my cell phone out of my backpack I once again saw the photo, I'd have to find a place to store that otherwise I'd spend too much time looking at it.

Dialing the speed dial number for Jake, I looked at my nails before sticking my finger in my mouth to begin my nervous habit of chewing on my nails. Jake answered after two rings, "Hey Bells, how's it going? Don't tell me you miss me already!"

"No silly, I figured Charlie was still hanging at your place since I wouldn't be home. My flight was uneventful and I made it all the way to my room with only 2 minor stumbles!" Jake chuckled at my klutziness as usual. "So Jake, is Charlie there or are he and Billy out fishing?"

"He's here, hold on. Charlie, Bella's on the phone. Bells, I really do miss you so make sure you call again when we can talk, okay?"

Using his favorite expression I said, "Sure, sure Jake. I'll take notes all week so I'm sure to let you know every little detail of the first week. Now let me talk to Charlie before my cell bill gets out of hand."

"Hey Bells, so how is everything so far?" Charlie asked.

"Great Charlie, the hall I'm in is amazing with a great view of Lake Champlain and the Adirondack mountains. I can't wait for you to visit; maybe you could get in some fishing when you visit. I really just wanted you to know I landed safely and made it here without any incidents. I'll let you get back to Billy and Jake. The 3 hour time difference isn't so hard to get used to, I'm feeling tired already and I still have some unpacking to do." I was babbling like an idiot barely stopping to catch my breath, my nerves were on hyper drive. I hoped my anxiety didn't come across, otherwise Charlie would be upset.

"Okay Bella, be sure to stay out of trouble and make time for yourself. Make sure you don't get too caught up in schoolwork. Of course Renee would have my head if she heard me saying this, so don't let her know okay?"

"Sure Dad, no problem. I'm going to email her tomorrow and send her a few pictures too. You know how she needs every detail! Give Jake a hug from me. Night Dad." I hung up the phone and realized just how much I missed my life in Forks. It may have been missing what I really needed to feel complete, but it was secure and safe. I was going to have to get over my insecurities and start all over again. I turned back to face the room and opened my trunk to begin the chore of unpacking.


	3. A New Beginning

**A New Beginning**

**I do not own any of the characters in Twilight.**

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BPOV

I awoke early to the sun coming up over the mountains, moaning I turned to my other side and then remembered today was the day I would meet my roommate. Ugh! As I lay there waking up I heard the first sounds of life in my new home outside my room. Drake and Ian were laughing about something I couldn't hearas they passed as they passed. I'm going to have to get used to co-ed living too, this might be a little draining on my nerves. It'll just be a couple of weeks until you get settled in, I told myself to in order to relieve some anxiety.

Okay, time to face the day. There were a great deal of things I needed to take care of, so instead of languishing in my bed, I put my feet on the floor to begin. Grabbing my toiletries I headed in to take a shower. As the warm water cascaded down my body, I began running a list in my head of all the things I would need to do today. Getting acclimated to the campus was going to be my first priority, and I had to pick up food – something I should have done yesterday. I also had to go to the registrar's office to complete the paperwork for my first semester.

I headed downstairs and found Anne, Sam, Ian and Drake in the kitchen making breakfast. They all looked so comfortable with each other it was a bit disarming, so I stood in the doorway not sure what to do with myself. Ian looked up and said, "Bella, good morning. Would you like some pancakes? Anne would be happy to share her portion with you" he stated chuckling.

Anne smiled over her shoulder as she continued flipping the pancakes on the stove. "Bella, no problem, I know you haven't had the chance to get any food yet and there's plenty here."

"Thanks, I appreciate it. I was going to head down and check out the campus as well as get to the store to pick up some stuff. Do you recommend a particular store that will have everything?"

That's when Ian spoke up, "I'll head out with you, I have to get a few things myself. Walking campus blindly isn't a bad thing, but it always helps to have someone who knows their way around. Besides, I wouldn't be doing my job if you were to trip and I wasn't there to catch you." He smiled sweetly and Drake poked him in the ribs. Looks like I was going to have to let him know I wasn't interested in that type of relationship before it got out of hand.

Instead, I blushed and smiled at him agreeing that his company would be appreciated. What was I doing? I couldn't let him get interested in me; this was not a good thing. I'd just let it ride until the time came and then make sure he understood, friends are all we'd ever be.

Having breakfast with the four of them was nice. They laughed and exchanged stories about each other never once making me feel like an outsider. I helped clean up the dishes while Ian ran upstairs to grab some things he needed for our trip to the quad.

It turns out that Anne and Sam were dating and Ian, Drake and Sam grew up together. Anne's major was in Media Communications, while Sam majored in Mass Communication. Ian and Drake were both majors in Electronic Game and Interactive Development – that explained the Wii in the common room!

Ian came back into the kitchen and asked if I was ready to roll. We quickly said goodbye and headed out the door. I took a chance to watch him as we strolled the streets, he really was a good-looking guy. He was at ease with himself and didn't seem the least bit uncomfortable with the fact that he was walking with someone he just met. He told me all about the buildings we were passing and the quickest ways around campus.

The campus was really nice, quant and charming, not so enormous that I would get lost like some colleges. One of the reasons I chose Champlain was because it was a smaller school with under 2,000 undergrads enrolled, yet still had all the academic requirements I would need. All of the buildings held so much history and I felt myself getting excited every time Ian would point out some of the details. He seemed to know so much about the architecture so I asked him, "How is it a major in electronic gaming knows so much about history and architecture?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely, I happen to have an appreciation for building structure and history. One of the reasons I was drawn to this area of the country was because it holds so much history. I find the early 1800/1900 period interesting, even though I am a techno-geek." As he spoke I noticed he was a bit shy about revealing this because he kept looking down, a habit I'm very familiar with.

He smiled at me, "So Bella, isn't it time you started telling me a bit about yourself. This conversation seems to be a bit one-sided."

Even though I knew the time would come for me to tell my story, it still took me by surprise. What should I tell everyone, that I have a habit of attracting mythical creatures and felt the need to runaway, so here I am on the other side of the country hoping to gain some sanity and piece my life back together. I didn't think that conversation would go to well.

"Well, where should I start…I come from Phoenix originally where I lived with my Mom. About 2 years ago I moved to Forks Washington to spend some time with my Dad and get to know him before I began college. I love to read literature, especially stories written by Jane Austin, but then again I like Shakespeare – well suffice it to say I like all the classics."

"Do you know that your eyes sparkle when you talk about literature, no wonder you're an English major" Ian smiled. I felt myself blush, and then he smiled even brighter.

He put his arm around me while chuckling and said, "So what else do you need to take care of before we go to the store." It didn't bother me much that he had his arm around me, it was very casual and not possessive in the least more, like a comfortable friendship was beginning.

"Well, I really need to get my photo taken for my student ID. I have to pick up my course schedule and find the bookstore. I don't plan on buying all the books today, but knowing where the store is will be helpful when I return."

"Alright then, lets get you over to the student center. Once we get your picture taken, they'll tell you where to pick up your course schedule and I'll take you to the bookstore. Have you set up your email account? You should have been sent your course schedule via email. We also have to bring your laptop down to the student center so they can set it up for wireless." Looked up at him, I smiled. It felt good to have someone who knew the ropes.

I poked him in the side, "Okay, you can bring me to the student center, but when I'm getting my picture taken you can't be anywhere near me. I hate having my picture taken and don't need you trying to get me to make a goofy smile."

Ian stopped walking and said, "Bella, I'm hurt. You hardly know me, how could you assume that I would be so cruel. You have to use this ID for nearly everything on campus, I wouldn't subject you to using an ID that didn't show all of your beauty."

Ut oh…perhaps I better have the conversation about just friends before this really got out of hand. I didn't think it was the time to get into it, I knew the time would come; I just knew that this wasn't it. So I smiled and took his hand to pull him forward. "Come on, let's get a move on, aside from all the other stuff I have to get done I'm meeting my new roommate this afternoon."

Soon enough we had finished everything at the student center and were headed for the local grocery store. Good to his word, Ian didn't interrupt the photo ID part by making me laugh. When I showed him my ID all he said was, "Perfect." I found my time with Ian easily passed with no "pregnant pauses" looking for conversation that had to be forced. He really was an interesting guy besides being easy to look at. He told me all about his Mom and Dad in upstate NY, his brother who was in the reserve and how they were concerned that he would be sent to Iraq. He was very close to his family and it was nice to see how his face would soften as he spoke of them.

As we entered the grocery store he grabbed a cart and asked me if I wanted to push it through the aisles. I shook my head no, letting him know that he was still in the lead on this adventure. He quickly headed over to the frozen food aisle and started throwing frozen dinners into the cart. After about the third one, I grabbed his arm and said, "What are you doing? Don't you know how to cook?"

"Bella, I know that college life is new to you, but you'll soon discover when the courses begin that cooking is a luxury. And, no I don't know how to cook!" he laughed.

"Humph, I see. Well, since our courses haven't begun yet, how about we get some real food and I teach you how to cook something that even you can make!" I put my hands on my hips and smiled up at him.

"Ah, a challenge. So you think you can turn my culinary skills in the kitchen? Are you sure the rest of the house is prepared to be subjected to this?" shaking his head. "Ok, lead on oh wise one."

I grabbed the cart putting back the frozen dinners quickly while asking him, "So what is your favorite meal besides frozen mush?"

"Easy, that would be chicken parmigiana. Anything chicken is good. I can't stand sea food, so please avoid that by all means!"

"Good, I know just what our first class will be!" I thought to myself 'great chicken parmigiana, easy enough' knowing him as I did at this moment I know he'd pick up on how to make this quickly.


	4. A New Best Friend

**A New Best Friend**

**I do not own any of the characters in Twilight.**

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BPOV

Our trip back to Bader Hall was quick even though we were carrying several bags from the store. Spending all morning with Ian was quite enjoyable. I was so comfortable with him as if I'd known him several years as opposed to several hours. The ease was similar to the way I felt around Jake. The stories he told about growing up with Drake and Sam were very funny and helped me to get to know him a little more.

When we entered the house and headed to the kitchen, Anne came in and said Roxanne had arrived. I felt my heart quicken as she came up to rummage through all the bags we had carried in. "So what's all this?" she asked grinning at Ian.

He patted her on the head, "Calm down, Bella decided to teach me how to cook." He started unpacking all the grocery's we bought. "Bella, do you want me to put your laundry detergent downstairs? My motives are selfish, this way I can lure Drake into getting his butt kicked again!"

"Thanks, I'll finish putting all this away and then go meet Roxanne." I hoped my anxiety didn't show too much, but apparently it did. He smiled touching my arm, "We all went through the first days…don't worry it'll be fine." With that, he smiled at Anne and left to find Drake.

"So Bella, teaching Ian how to cook. This should be _really_ interesting." She helped me put everything in the cabinets, turned and smiled a smile that looked like she was withholding a secret.

"Okay, I'm game. What's that grin all about? Wanna clue me in?" She just nodded her head distracting herself with emptying the bags while I stood there.

"Nothing, it's nothing." She continued grinning and shaking her head. "It's just that Ian seems taken with you. I haven't seen him act like this in a long time; it's nice. Well, everything's away. Are you ready to meet Roxanne?"

Oh no, what have I done. I can't let everyone think that Ian's feelings were reciprocated. Twenty four hours and already I'm in trouble. Just when I thought things were going so well. Deciding to delay this problem and face the next, I sighed. Not that meeting my roommate was a problem; it was just my own insecurities always made meeting people extremely uncomfortable. "Let's go. So... can you tell me anything more about her?" I really was anxious, which was completely illogical, so far everyone was great.

"Not really, she seems nervous. I'm sure you two will get along. She does seem to have quite a bit of luggage though; I'm not sure where she's going to put everything. You two will work it out." Anne pushed me towards the kitchen door leading out to the hall. "Come on, you'll never get over your nerves by standing here wondering about her."

As I walked into our room, I couldn't believe what I saw. There were suitcases and boxes all over. I stood in the doorway in shock, what happened to my beautiful space. I couldn't even see my bed. What was she thinking; didn't she understand she was _sharing_ a room? As I looked around, I didn't see anyone, where was she?

Just then I heard a someone and turned towards the door. In walked a petite brunette with Drake. "Bella, this is your new roommate, Roxanne. I'll let you two get settled. Ian is looking for a rematch." He turned and closed the door on his way out.

Roxanne walked towards me extending her hand, "Hi, you must be Bella, it's great to meet you. Sorry about the mess, Drake helped me dump all of this and then we went to get a beer. I'll clean up in a couple of minutes, but for now how about you get a beer and we talk."

I didn't know what to say at first, so I just shrugged my shoulders, "No beer for me yet. Tonight I'm scheduled to teach Ian how to cook so I need all my senses in tact. You see, I'm a bit of a klutz and I can't take a chance of cutting off a finger. I'm sure no one would want to eat the meal if they thought there was a limb in the dish."

She laughed as she sat on the bed that would be hers and pulled her legs up under her. "Okay fair enough. So who's this Ian? Is he your boyfriend or something?" She looked into my face with curiosity etched across her features. She had a really beautiful face, nothing that the fashion magazines would ever feature, but she had really pretty green eyes and short hair that framed her face just right. Looking intently at her, I realized we would be good friends. She had a natural ease about her, something I never quite developed. It appeared meeting new people was something she relished in. Her confidence might rub off on me someday.

"Ian is one of the other residents and no, he's not my boyfriend. I met him yesterday along with Anne, Sam and Drake. They're great, so far. We went down to tour the campus and pick up some groceries."

"Oh, don't tell me you already went to the registrar's office. I was hoping we could do it together, you know…the newbies roaming around on their own." She whined slightly and laughed again. "Oh well, you'll just have to suffer through showing me around. It's probably better this way, you'll know exactly where I need to go and what to do." Shifting her position slightly she began reaching into the closest box, "Well, how about I start unpacking as we continue getting to know each other."

"Why don't I help you unpack and you can help me teach Ian how to cook? You do know how to cook don't you?"

She laughed, "Sure if it comes out of a box or a jar, I'm your man!"

"Jeez, Roxanne did you bring everything you own?" I teased while looking around and shaking my head. We looked around the room and started laughing. There wasn't a space available to put anything, how on earth were we going to unpack.

"Not everything, but just about. You never know, you need to be prepared for anything after all." I opened the box closest to me and saw there was no organization to her packing what so ever. This was not going to be an easy task.

Several hours later we had successfully unpacked a majority of her stuff and got it as organized as possible. We were perfectly suited to compliment each other, my complete organization and her lack of same made this situation one that would be one of many building our friendship and making us the closest of friends.

We headed downstairs, laughing about all of her boxes compared to my two little trunks. As we hit the bottom of the stairs, we saw a group of people in the common room sitting around enjoying the early evening. Looking at each other we walked into the room. Neither of us knew anyone other than Anne, Drake, Sam and Ian. As soon as we entered, Ian made his way over to introduce himself to Roxanne.

"Hi, you must be Roxanne. I'm Ian, Drake told me you put him to work and he's exhausted!" he said chuckling. "Thanks for that, it made it easier to kick his butt in pool."

"Nice to meet you. So what's going on here?" she said nodding her head towards everyone. "Are we supposed to 'haze' or something like that?" she asked with a grimace. She was only 5'2" but seemed to be a powerhouse. Her ability to say exactly what was on her mind impressed me. I was in the habit of editing my thoughts and saying what I knew people wanted to hear.

Anne came towards us and explained how every residence on campus held a social gathering. Giving the residents a chance to get to know each other or at least put a name with a face. "It's not like you'll remember everyone's name but you get to meet your other house mates."

Well, this shouldn't be too bad, I thought trying to convince myself. There were only 25 people in total and I already knew 5 of them. Roxanne and I looked at each other, shrugged our shoulders and walked further into the room. The atmosphere was light and everyone seemed to be having a good time. Some people were sitting in the armchairs carrying on conversations while others were out on the deck enjoying the evening.

I looked at Roxanne and said, "Are you as nervous as I am. I'm not really good at meeting new people."

She laughed, "Don't think about it so much. They're just like you and I, we're all here for the same thing…a greater education in order to show the world how talented we are!" With that she grabbed my arm, "I know just what to do. You need a beer!"

I never really drank before, so I was going to have to be careful around Roxanne. She seemed entirely too comfortable with drinking. But I figured, 'while in Rome…' We ventured out on the deck and found the beer. Clinking bottles we took our first sips. "Here's to meeting new people and making new friends," she said.

Ian and Anne came outside to tell me our cooking class would have to be postponed until tomorrow since we had this orientation party. Fine with me considering I was subjecting myself to alcohol. Ian bent over and whispered in my ear, "Don't think you're getting off easy. Tomorrow is definitely the day you'll teach me everything you know about making chicken parmigiana." He stepped back and winked at me, Anne laughed and walked away leaving me, Ian and Roxanne to ourselves.

"So Roxanne, where are you from?" Ian asked her while gesturing to the chaise lounges for us to sit.

Roxanne and I sat on one of the lounges while he leaned casually against the rail of the deck. "I'm from NJ majoring in Marketing, I do like literature like Bella here, but there's no money in that! So besides being addicted to playing the lottery in the hopes of becoming a millionaire, I figured I'd get into a field that allows me to be creative and make some good money. How about you?"

He laughed telling her about his major and background. I watched the two of them as they easily talked and laughed wondering why it was so effortless for everyone but me.

They both noticed my silence at the same time and Roxanne attempted to get me to join in the conversation. "Bella, tell Ian how I stunned you with all my stuff."

Rolling my eyes while looking up at him, "Drake wasn't exaggerating when he told you he was exhausted. She brought so much stuff we have no place to put it all." I noticed I was pulling my label off my beer as I was talking. Ugh I was so nervous. Ian reached down and grabbed the bottle from my hand winking, "How about another or perhaps we should see if Anne has ordered the pizzas yet."

I smiled realizing he already knew I wasn't a drinker and perhaps food would be better than another beer. We walked inside and found Anne had not only ordered the pizza, but it was delivered. Heading into the kitchen we sat around the table with Anne, Drake, and Sam. I have to admit this pizza was good, better than what I was used to. I wound up eating two and a half pieces before I sat back licking my fingers.

They all started laughing. "Well I guess that our West Coast resident has discovered the wonders of east coast pizza." Drake said. I blushed, "That really was good, I've never had a pizza that good."

"Bella, it happens all the time. People come from the West Coast having no idea how good pizza is until they try one from our coast. Wait till you try the bagels." Anne said as she stood starting to clear the table. She really was a great live-in resident, she put everyone at ease and kept the house in order. I noticed her ability to keep everything running smoothly like a maternal figure of the house was natural. I'm sure she wouldn't want me to tell her that though.

When we were done cleaning up our mess we went back into the common room. People were playing chess, monopoly and cards. Everyone seemed to be getting along great. Roxanne headed back outside to get herself another beer while I went over to one of the chairs by the fireplace. Sitting down I stared off into the fire while thinking about how good this was. I couldn't wait for classes to begin so all the benefits of college life would be opened up to me. Perhaps "he" was right, perhaps living a human existence was the right thing.

Roxanne and Ian headed over just as I was yawning. It had been a long day and tomorrow we were going to take another tour of campus, get Roxanne checked in and buy our books. She looked at me, "Oh no you don't. You can't be fading yet. The night is still young, we still have to play Ian and Drake in pool."

"Ut uh. No way. Remember klutz here. There's no way I could have a great big stick in my hand with other people within poking distance." They both started laughing. "Besides, I really have to get some sleep; we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow. So I'm going to get some sleep."

I stood to leave and Ian grabbed my wrist. "Hey, don't forget we have a date tomorrow in the kitchen." I smiled telling him I hadn't forgotten. Quickly heading towards the door before anyone else could stop me, I relaxed. My first evening in a room full of strangers that would soon be like family and I hadn't committed any embarrassing acts.

Entering our room I looked around and smiled. Even though Roxanne brought everything she owned, we still had plenty of living space. It was beginning to look like a real home. Grabbing my shorts and T-shirt I headed to the shower. The warm water was soothing, even though I was tired my lack of self-esteem kept me from completely relaxing. Drying myself off and getting comfortable, I pulled out my iPod, put in the ear buds to let the music take me into a deep slumber.


	5. Those Types of Guys

**Those Types of Guys**

**Of course like everyone else I don't own any characters you may recognize from Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Series.**

* * *

BPOV

As I started waking up the realization that classes would begin tomorrow struck me. Just the thing I needed to think about first thing in the morning, great. I guess sleeping a little later was out of the question now as my mind began to wander. Will I like my courses? Will they be difficult? Am I really ready for college courses? Ugh. I rolled over on my back and pulled the covers over my head. Reality this early should be outlawed! I lay there trying to think if any dreams could come to mind, over the course of the year since "he" was gone this was an exercise I did every morning – hoping to recall just a glimpse of a dream that was good.

Glancing over at Roxanne who was still sound asleep I figured getting into the bathroom now would probably be best. I knew we should and most likely would, develop a routine with the bathroom and overcome any clashes in morning routines. Grabbing my toiletries from my desk I tiptoed into the bathroom. After a look in the mirror I realized that last night's sleep must not have been a restful one. My eyes were puffy and my hair was all over the place. I quickly brushed my teeth, put my hair into a ponytail and went back into our room.

Roxanne was just beginning to stir. She stretched, smiled and waved, "Good Morning. Are you an early riser?"

"Not really, I woke up realized classes begin tomorrow and I'm getting anxious about the whole thing!" I quickly sat on my bed and kicked her mattress. "Come on, get up. We have places to go, books to buy and stories to tell. I want to hear all about what happened after I headed up last night."

She pulled herself up into a sitting position and stretched her arms above her head. "Nothing really, we just hung out for a little. It actually was more interesting in here. Do you know you talk in your sleep?"

Oh crap, I wonder what I said! "Agh, yeah I know, I hope it won't bother you. Did I say anything really whacked?"

I must have looked desperate, because she just smiled and waved her hand at me. "No, no, it won't bother me at all. In fact I've been known to carry on whole conversations, so I'm sure you'll get an earful one night! There are some questions I have about a few things you were muttering, but it can wait until later when we can really get into it. Right now, I have to make myself human." With that she was out of bed and into the shower.

Oh goodie. What could I have possibly been saying? This was sure to be a problem; I never even considered this when I signed up for a roommate. Well, I'll just have to find out what it was I said and take it from there. Rummaging through my drawers and closets for something to wear, was enough to keep me from going into full-scale panic attack.

Taking a quick look at my course listing I made a note of the books necessary for the classes. Time to knuckle under and focus on college. Getting to know my fellow residents and finding my way around campus would occur all in time. I still had to send Renee an email before she started going crazy wondering what was going on with me, so I mentally added this task to my to do list for today. Sometime today I would need to log on and send an email complete with pictures very soon, otherwise she'd be calling and texting me non-stop. Rummaging in my desk drawer I packed my camera to bring along today. Might as well take some photos and make her happy this was the only way she would be satisfied, otherwise she'd be taking a trip her to visit.

Roxanne came out of the bathroom just as I finished packing up my stuff. "Hey, I'm going to head down to the kitchen and grab a cup of coffee while you get dressed." She probably needed space while she got dressed, having a roommate was just as new to her and I didn't want her to be uncomfortable.

"Great, maybe we should grab something to eat down on campus. I'll be a couple of minutes though, it takes a lot to make this face presentable" she chuckled.

"Don't forget your course listing and book list. I don't want to get down there and find out you forgot to bring along the information we need," I told her closing the door.

I quickly ran down the stairs and once again was heading for a tumble. Catching myself before falling face first in the hall making a complete fool out of myself. Phew, I really should know better by now, running, stairs and Bella just don't mix! I came into the kitchen to what looked like the entire house sitting around the table. Most everyone gave the impression of just rolling out of bed and clambered down for a cup of coffee. Okay, so we didn't need to worry about appearances first thing in the morning. That's good to know.

As I pulled down a mug, my stomach growled. I really wanted to grab something to eat, but Roxanne seemed pretty excited about getting something from campus. As I pulled out a chair from the table Anne leaned over and threw a piece of paper at me. "A little reminder from Ian" she said smiling.

Opening the note and glancing around the room, I noticed that he wasn't anywhere in the vicinity. _'Hey, hope you got some rest last night because I have a feeling teaching me how to cook is going to drain you. Take it easy today and give me a call on my cell if you get lost. My number, (802) 779-6445. C-Ya later.'_ Letting out a deep sigh I noticed Anne watching me carefully. She smiled in my direction and got up to put her dishes in the sink. Just then Roxanne came into the kitchen and came over to me.

"Ready! Let's get a move on it; I can't wait to check this place out. Besides I have a few things I want to find out about you. She grabbed my arm and started pushing me towards the door.

As we were leaving the kitchen, Drake was coming in. "Hey ladies, heading out to check out the campus?"

Roxanne smiled "Yeah, gotta get registered and pick up our course books. You wouldn't want to meet us and carry my books back, would you?"

"No thanks" he said chuckling. "You already got your fill of my muscles yesterday. You're on your own today."

Roxanne laughed, "I figured as much. Oh well, you can't blame a girl for trying. Come on Bella." She wrapped her arm in mine as we headed out.

At first we walked just looking around admiring the campus. I tried to recall everything Ian had told me about some of the buildings on campus, but I couldn't possibly do them justice. Maybe after a few months I'd have as much knowledge on the buildings, but probably not. I successfully maneuvered us to the student center with only a few wrong turns.

As soon as we walked in, you could tell that classes would begin tomorrow. The place was crowded with students. It was a good thing I came a day earlier and wrapped up my registration process. My laptop still needed to be programmed with the wireless routing but that could wait a couple of days until things settled down.

Roxanne threw her hands in the air, "This is mayhem, and how am I supposed to know where to go first!"

"Don't worry, I did it yesterday. Just step over to that line to get your photo for your Student ID, then get into that line to complete your registration process. I'll be right over here checking out the boards to see if anyone is selling used books I can use." I moved over to the left and let her take care of business.

I was reading the student boards and noticed there are a lot of activities available to the students. There's something for everyone, gone are the days of sitting at home in my room reading to get through a day or night. There was so much to do on campus anything from ping-pong tournaments to basically what could be viewed as amateur night where anyone could read their own poetry or stories via open mic. Based on what I knew there probably wouldn't be time to do any of the extracurricular activities, but it's nice to know that the college had these options.

My courses were going to be taking up a great deal of time and I knew a job was necessary to pay for food and anything else I might need. Getting a job probably wasn't going to be easy considering my hours would need to work around school and studying, but it definitely was a part of my plans.

I pulled out my course schedule once again to determine what books I would need from the bookstore. Walking over to a chair to wait out Roxanne's registration, I heard my name being yelled. "Bella, hey Bella." I looked around but didn't see anyone even remotely recognizable.

A guy waving his arms at me came walking over and said, "That is your name, right, Bella?" I looked at him with what I'm sure could be called puzzlement, "Um, yeah. I'm Bella. Do I know you?"

"No, probably not. I'm Derrick, one of the residents at Bader Hall. I saw you last night at the orientation and wanted to introduce myself. I stepped out to grab a beer but by the time I came back inside you were gone." He took my hand and started pumping it up and down as if we were jacking up a car to change a flat. I was a bit in shock and tried to remove my hand from his grip. This guy looked normal enough but seemed a bit too eager in his greeting. Just as I was able to get my hand away from Derrick, Roxanne walked up.

"Well, thank goodness that's over." She looked at me and then at Derrick and grinned. "Oh I see you met Derrick. Hey Derrick, how's it going? Bella, Derrick was nice enough to introduce himself to me last night." She looked back at me and I could swear she winked. "Well Derrick, I hope you don't mind that I steal Bella away but we really have some girl talk we need to get to. Enjoy your afternoon and maybe we'll see you back at the house later," she grabbed my arm and practically threw me out the door. She barely made it through the door when the laughter erupted.

"What on earth was that all about?" I stopped in my tracks and wouldn't move until she turned back and told me what was going on. I felt like there was an inside joke that was at my expense and wasn't very happy about it. Just what did happen after I went to bed last night?

"Oh Bella, don't be like that. You know every house probably has one of those types. He's harmless enough. He came up to Ian and I after you headed upstairs. He was really interested in learning more about you. I think he's just a bit excited to be out of the confines of high school and figures this is his time to shine. Unfortunately though, he seems to be smitten with you! Sorry I should have warned you but I honestly forgot all about him, it's not like he's memorable in a good way you know." She pulled my arm to get me to join her in going to the bookstore.

"Ugh, what am I going to do Rox? I don't need this type of attention, I just want to start taking classes and focus on how that will help me build a career." It was nice to talk to Roxanne, she was easy going and seemed to understand what I was feeling.

"Okay, I'm going to be serious here Bella. Granted Derrick isn't what I would expect a roommate of mine to be attracted to, but Ian on the other hand is not something to throw away. He's got it all going for him. He's cute, he's built, and he's smart not to mention that his major and future career potential are pretty noteworthy. I noticed his interest in you, but you keep pulling away. What's up with that? Isn't he your type?" She was staring at me now, truly wanting to know why I wouldn't jump at the opportunity to be with someone like Ian.

Sharing the details of my past with someone I met less than 24 hours ago wasn't my style. There was no way I could explain my past and the feelings for 'him'. I didn't think the story would make for a nice cozy introductory tale on who I am nor leave her with a good impression on her new roommate.

While we walked my eyes were on the ground; I didn't want to make eye contact with her at that moment. I needed to keep my composure; I wasn't ready to talk about everything. My past was something I came here to get away from not drag it out for evaluation by a total stranger. On the other hand though, if she and I were going to have a strong friendship moving forward, she would have to understand why I wasn't about to start dating.

Taking a deep breath, I looked her in the eye and said, "Rox, although I know you're coming at me with the best of intentions and I appreciate it, I'm just not ready to get into anything really personal yet. Our friendship is important to me, but my past is something I'm trying to get away from, so please understand when I tell you to drop it." Hoping she understood was important to me, she had come to mean a great deal to me already and we hadn't even known each other a full day.

She looked at me again warily, "It's alright Bella. I understand, you'll tell me when you're ready. But can you answer one question for me?" Nodding my head I let her know I was willing.

"Who's Edward?"

* * *


	6. Past, Present and Future

**Past, Present and Future**

**Of course like everyone else I don't own any characters you may recognize from Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Series.**

* * *

BPOV

I stopped short. What did she just ask me? No, how could she know about 'him'. I looked at her and stuttered, "What did you just say?"

"Who's Edward?" She had stopped as well and was looking at me confused. I felt my arms going around my waist, holding my insides together and started gasping for air.

Roxanne grabbed my arm pulling me over to a bench on the sidewalk. "Bella, Bella breath. It's okay. I didn't mean to upset you. Are you okay, can I get you anything." She waited for me to catch my breath. It actually felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I really wasn't expecting _that_ question. How on earth did she know about him?

I put my head between my knees while holding my stomach and took in deep breaths, all while she rubbed my back. When I was finally able to pick my head up, there were tears in my eyes. "How, how did you know about Edward?"

"Bella, I'm so sorry I had no idea his name would upset you so. I heard you saying it in your sleep and when you spoke his name it was with longing not with pain." She kept looking at me; her eyes filled with sympathy. "Really Bella, I had no idea. You don't have to talk about him if you don't want to. I swear I'll never mention his name again. My lips are sealed from saying that name out loud ever again." She made the image of locking her lips with a key and throwing it over her shoulder.

She continued rubbing small circles on my back until I leaned back on the bench and rubbed the tears from my eyes. I tried to get my breathing back to normal. Shaking my head I looked over at her.

"I'm sorry Rox, even I didn't expect that reaction. You didn't know what would happen just by asking who he was. The only explanation I have is my subconscious must be okay with dwelling on the past, it's just my conscious state that isn't ready." I sighed deeply looked down at my hands before looking back at her again. "I really have to say that based on that performance, can you understand why I'm not ready to discuss my past yet?"

"Sure, no problem. But I do have to ask one more question if you don't mind. Bella, did Edward hurt you physically, I mean did he molest you? The only reason I ask is I need to know what level of protection I'm going to have to use when keeping all the guys away." She smiled at me and I could tell she was trying even though the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"NO, NO, Rox you have it wrong. Edward wasn't capable of that. When I tell you that he was the best thing that ever happened to me, would you believe me after that performance?" Chuckling lightly thinking of how I must have sounded to her, but she just nodded her head and smiled sadly.

"Yeah Bella, unfortunately I do get it. How about we go get something to eat before we go to the bookstore and I'll tell you a couple of stories about my past. You'll soon see we have more in common than you can possibly imagine. Men everywhere, no matter what part of the country you're from, are basically the same." We stood up and started walking down the street to find someplace to sit, eat and talk.

Although what we just went through was an uncomfortable experience for me, Roxanne took it in stride. She started asking me what were my favorite foods, was I allergic to anything. She really wanted to know all my flaws and favorites so in being my friend she could know what was important to me. I found myself asking her the same questions because after all we were not only roommates, but also quickly becoming the best of friends.

We found a cute café that had outdoor seating and decided this would be our location for brunch. The streets were crowded now as all of the college students had gotten out of bed finally and began looking for sustenance or were heading out to get their final errands done before classes tomorrow.

After ordering, Roxanne put her elbows on the table and looked me right in the eye and asked, "Okay, whom should we begin with Mark or Andy?"

I giggled, "Lets start with Mark."

"Figures you'd pick that pig first. Okay, Mark was my first real love. I met him in school of course and he seemed really nice. We dated and he was always the perfect gentleman and as time progressed, well you know. One thing led to another and he convinced me that I was his one and only. He'd never love anyone more than he loved me." She was rolling her eyes now and snearing.

"Well, being young and foolish, of course I believed him. But I still wasn't ready. He kept up the pressure, every day the same thing. So one day I attended an after school party…big mistake. I got drunk, my first time drinking and I was totaled. Somehow, someway I got home. I swear to this day I still don't know how. But as soon as I was home, I picked up the phone and called Mark. I told him to get over to my house, I missed him and needed him." She was shaking her head at this point.

"So he gets to my house in record time, grabs my hand, pulls me to my room, throws me on the bed and pulls my jeans off. He proceeds to pleasure himself while I'm nearly comatose. Ugh, just thinking about it makes my skin crawl." She looked at me and smiled, "Don't worry though, I was coherent enough to recall that he never penetrated. I kept my legs closed so tight he couldn't get anywhere near what he really wanted. Being as pent up and frustrated as he was, he only got the pleasure of my thighs and apparently that was enough for him." We both started laughing at that.

The waitress came over with our food and I could feel the smile on my face. It was a real smile, not put there out of some sense of obligation to make Rox feel better, it was the real deal and she put it there.

As she took a mouthful of her food, she swallowed "Are you sure you want to hear about Andy? I mean you are eating!" I grinned and nodded my head. How could I resist, she's such a great storyteller and her stories could be sad but are made funny by the way she tells them.

"Andy was a dream, tall, dark, handsome and Russian. Not only was he all that, he was a bit on the dangerous side. He would take risks that a person like me would never even presume to take. He would skip classes, he hung out with people much older than us, and yes he appealed to my wild side." She took a sip of her drink and her eyes got a far away look before she looked back at me to continue her story.

"I hadn't dated anyone for quite some time after my fiasco with Mark. There was no way one of the creeps from school were going to sweet talk me again. But Andy was different, he didn't try as hard, he was just there one day. Leaning against the lockers as I left my class he started walking with me. He never said anything he just walked with me. At first I thought it was creepy, but when I looked up at him he just smiled and then looked straight ahead, like it was normal for him to walk me to class. When I reached my classroom, he stopped, smiled at me and said, 'see you around' and walked away. I thought I'd faint right there in the doorway. I couldn't concentrate on class to say the least, and when the bell rang I walked out the door, there he was again…leaning against the lockers. I smiled at him and he reached out to take my books, which I gave willingly. That was it; I was hooked. We were together all the time from there on in. Andy was different from other boys; he never pushed me. He knew my boundaries even though I never told him what they were, he just knew." She smiled at me then and said, "Does any of this sound familiar?" I just nodded and told her to go on.

"Well, after a while Andy and I did become intimate and I wasn't upset about it. I was in love and thought he was too. We were always together, so what else could I assume. Anyway, one day my sister and I were driving into town to get something, I forget what now, and there standing on the corner is my Andy with a girl pressed up against the building and they are in a lip lock that would take a crowbar to get them apart. I slammed on the brakes right there. I was shaking from head to toe, my sister had no idea what I had seen until she looked around and saw it for herself. Well, it was all I could do to keep her in the car. When I finally found a parking spot, she wanted to go up and confront the two of them, but I couldn't. My heart was broken; there was no way I could deal with that in my frame of mind. So I insisted she let me handle it in my own way."

"The next day when Andy arrived at my door to pick me up for school, I told my sister to tell him I was sick and wouldn't be going to school that day. She started yelling at me to tell him off, let him know that he couldn't get away with treating me like this. But that's not how I wanted it handled. I stayed home from school that day and thought about how I would deal with Andy."

"I decided to take the high road, I got dressed in the most appealing outfit I owned, got in my car and drove over to his house. When I got to his door and knocked, he opened it and I walked inside. I told him what I saw; how it made me feel and let him know in no uncertain terms that I couldn't be treated like that. After I finished with my little speech, I picked myself up off his couch and walked out the door. I never saw Andy again after that. I hear that he's an alcoholic now and that I wouldn't recognize him if I did run into him. So those are my battle scars Bella." She held up her hands and smacked them together like she was removing crumbs from between her palms.

"You see Bella, we all have baggage. It's part of who we are, for better or worse, these moments in time are what have made us who we are. I like to think these things that happened to me have made me a better person. I know you aren't ready to talk but when you are, just know that nothing you will tell me can shock me. Now if you wouldn't mind finish up your breakfast so we can get our books."

"I'm ready."

She looked at me quickly, "Really? My stories actually changed your mind?"

"No, not for that. I'm ready for the bookstore. Come on, I still have to make dinner with Ian, remember?" I grabbed my bag, pulling out money and smiled at her.

She burst out laughing at that point and said, "Okay you got me. Let's go."

* * *


	7. Chicken Parmigiana

**Chicken Parmigiana**

**Of course like everyone else I don't own any characters you may recognize from Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Series.**

* * *

BPOV

The early afternoon spent with Roxanne was very enjoyable. Our brunch was the favorite time for me because she showed me how much our friendship meant to her. I had a lot to think about with our friendship and where it was heading. I knew I'd never tell her the whole story of 'him' but I knew I could give her the finer details and she'd understand.

In the meantime, I had a cooking class I had to host. I returned just in time to prepare everything so that our dinner was scheduled for 7:00pm. I ran upstairs to freshen up before heading into the kitchen.

On my way up I ran into Drake heading down, "You two back already?"

"Of course, aren't you joining us for dinner this evening?"

"I wouldn't miss this for the world" he said grinning from ear to ear. "Ian in the kitchen actually making something that isn't in an aluminum tray with everything in it including the desert. No I wouldn't miss this."

I chuckled as I ran into my room with Roxanne right behind me. "Oh boy, that guy is cute. What do you think? Do I stand a chance with that one?"

"Of course you do, just look at yourself." I turned to her in time to see her checking herself out in the mirror. I could tell by the look on her face that she wasn't all that satisfied with the image reflected back at her.

"Rox, you are beautiful inside and out, Drake would be crazy not to be interested. Look since he'll be in the kitchen witnessing the embarrassment of his best friend, you should be in there too. This way you can casually strike up conversation and if it looks like it's going somewhere then great. If not, at least you'll know after tonight. Come on, pretty yourself up, we have grunt work to do. Remember you promised you'd help if I helped you unpack."

"Alright, alright. Give me five and I'll be right down." She grabbed a new shirt and went into the bathroom.

I quickly changed my shirt into a comfortable T and freshened up my ponytail. "Okay, Rox I'm heading down. Don't take too long," I said as I walked out the door.

I bolted down the stairs as quickly as possible without tripping myself. I made it into the kitchen and saw Anne, Sam, and Drake sitting at the table. They were laughing at Ian as he was fastening on an apron that said 'Cook in Training'. Apparently Anne and Sam had run out this afternoon and purchased this just for tonight. I chuckled right along with them and told him to turn around so I could tie the strings for him.

"Okay, are you ready to be shown your way around the kitchen" I asked Ian while putting on my serious face. I couldn't keep my expression from turning into a grin for long because he looked so silly with that damn apron.

"I'm here for your command, oh wise one" he bowed.

Rox came into the room and asked, "What'd I miss?" She quickly scanned the room and started laughing at the site of Ian. "Well, I don't know about you three but I think this show really calls for wine. Do we have any?"

"Sure, let me get it. Anne can you get the glasses?" Sam jumped up and ran into the cupboard to get the wine, while Anne went to the cupboard to get some glasses.

"Ian, I want you to get the chicken out of the refridgerator and put it on the counter over here. Rox, remember you're not off the hook, you need to get the sauce out of the cupboard and get a baking dish ready." I started ordering the two of them around as if they were my personal assistants. The great part was we were all working together and not colliding into one another.

I walked over to the stove and set the temperature so it would preheat while we were preparing the food. I glanced over at the table to see Anne, Sam and Drake with smirks on their faces that could only mean one thing. They were enjoying this entirely too much.

"Okay you three, don't think you'll get off so easy either. You get to work on the garlic bread." I reached over grabbed the bread from the counter handed it to Anne and went back to the fridge for the butter, garlic and a knife. "Get to work you three, no slackers around here."

We continued in this way while telling stories about each other and just in general enjoying the prep time for our meal. Other people from the hall would come in, watch us for a few minutes, grab themselves something to eat and quickly make a retreat from the room. I don't think we were intimidating, I just think we were just enjoying ourselves so much they must have felt like they were intruding.

Ian pounded the chicken, and I showed him how to lightly bread it. Roxanne had prepared the baking dish with sauce so we were all set when the chicken was done being breaded and browned. When the three at the table finished with the bread, I had them slice the mozzarella so it could be added to our dinner. Once the chicken was in the oven, Rox and Ian had taken seats at the table.

I turned towards them and cleared my throat loudly. "Guys, we're not done here. What about the salad? Chop, chop and I mean that literally. Pull out the lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, cucumbers…let's go."

Rox turned to Ian, "Who knew she could be such a slave driver. I thought I was rooming with a sweet little country girl." They both sighed and got out of their chairs.

"Hey Bella, what's with the jarred sauce? Aren't you going to show us how to make a good Italian sauce? With a name like Isabella, I bet your momma would be disappointed in you" Drake teased.

"I'm not Italian, whatever gave you that impression."

"Your full name, Isabella. I just assumed it was Italian."

"Well you could be right, but no I'm not Italian. To tell you the truth I have no idea what nationality I am. I expect I'm a mutt, a little of this, a little of that." I was at the sink cleaning up the dishes we'd made from our preparation.

Ian snuck up behind me and whispered in my ear, "I like the end result of all that mixing. It looks good on you." He stepped away and started chopping the salad again. Oh boy, that wasn't good. How was I going to make him understand I wasn't interested? I reached over for my wine glass and finished what was in it.

Our dinner turned out perfect and we had a great time. We toasted to a successful semester and the start of great friendships. We cleaned up the kitchen together and everyone congratulated Ian on his first cooking class. He looked at me and said, "I couldn't have done it without a great teacher." Then he winked at me and raised his wine glass. At this point, I had enough wine and had switched to Iced Tea. I didn't need a fuzzy brain with classes starting tomorrow.

At around, 9:30 we all headed out to the common room. I was more than ready to head upstairs and mentally prepare myself for classes, but knew my new friends didn't want to call it a night yet. I moved towards what was quickly becoming my favorite seat in the room, the armchair directly in front of the fireplace. I loved staring at the fire and just letting my mind roam. Just as I was really relaxing, I looked around to see Rox and Drake sitting on the sectional in deep conversation. I smiled and let out a sigh.

Ian came over and lightly touched my forearm, "Thanks for that, I had a lot of fun. You look beat though."

"Yeah, I am. It's been a full day and tomorrow won't be any better."

"How many classes do you have tomorrow?"

"Only two, but I have a feeling they will be tough, American Lit I and Shakespeare Drama. I'm actually excited though, at least for now. I'm sure after my first assignments I won't be as excited, but for now…" I shrugged my shoulders.

"Hey Bella. What are you doing? Feel like hanging out over here?" Both Ian and I looked over to see who was yelling across the room.

"Don't look now, but I think you have an admirer" Ian said quietly.

"Oh no, not him. Please no, I'm too tired to be nice." Just as the words were leaving my mouth, Derrick appeared at my side and started tugging on my arm.

"Come on Bella, come over here. We can play cards or something."

"Derrick, I think Bella looks a little tired, don't you?" Ian asked him.

Derrick looked at Ian then back at me and then his face fell. It was as if someone had burst his balloon and he was 5 years old. His shoulders sagged and he lost all of his momentum. I felt so bad for him, but I knew from previous experience…aka Mike Newton, that no good would come from caving in right now.

"Derrick, I really am tired and tomorrow's the first day of classes. So perhaps another evening we could, um play cards or something. Right now, I really think it's best if I head upstairs." I stood as I finished speaking and headed towards the stairs.

I tapped Roxanne on the shoulder before leaving and let her know I was heading up to bed. She smiled, waved and I could tell her evening wasn't ending any time soon. She and Drake seemed to be enjoying each other's company more than she expected.

Reaching my room I realized how tired I really was. I sat on the edge of my bed removing my shoes and letting my hair down out of the ponytail. I stepped over to my desk and prepared my backpack for tomorrow's classes.

Today really was fun. I couldn't escape the feeling of contentment I felt. I stood there thinking about everything that happened today. This really was what it felt like to live a normal life. All my time in Phoenix and then the time after 'he' left Forks didn't compare. Of course the times down on the reservation spent with Jake were great, but I never felt like I belonged there. Jake always made me feel like I was welcome, but the rest of the Quilette gang didn't really understand me. How could they, they knew who I was befriended by and they were enemies of the worst kind.

I sighed and sat down on my bed, maybe everything would work out all right. Maybe, just maybe I could move on.

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	8. Driving is Good for the Soul

**Driving is good for the Soul**

**Nothing from the Twilight Series or Ms. Meyers works belong to me!**

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EPOV

The drive across country was exhilarating. Of course because it was late August, most of the driving took place at night. But all the same it was truly enchanting. There was no traffic because the trip was at night, we were able to cruise at speeds we would never have been able to achieve during the day and the roads we took had plenty of forests so hunting was plentiful. During the day we were able to explore the wilderness in the north and discovered some of the finer areas within the United States.

Carlisle and Esme were driving together and I had my Volvo all to myself. So turning up the sound system and enjoying some freedoms made the trip worthwhile. Alice and Jasper were going to meet us at the house about a week after we arrived. Emmett and Rose were still enjoying their time in parts unknown; they'd show up when they felt like it.

This suited me just fine; I was in no rush to be surrounded by couples once again. Although I made the commitment to Esme and Carlisle that I was ready to move on, I knew once I was in the presence of Alice again it would be that much harder. Bella and Alice became more than best friends when we were in Forks and she fought the hardest against me when I made my decision to leave Bella. I don't think she's over it yet, just as I'm not. Vampires have long memories!

I wasn't completely confident that I would be able to maintain my commitment to move on. Out of everyone in the family I was always the moody one, my temper would flair and get the best of me as well as some of Esme's favorite knickknacks. But I knew I was determined to attempt to move on, I had to. Being a vampire makes it a challenge to do anything but move on, after all eternity is a long time.

During the drive time I was working myself up to letting go of Bella and that meant reviewing our relationship from start to finish. Because I was old and had the wisdom of years, I should be able to figure out what it was about Bella that was so appealing to me. I knew that her blood was a siren call to the monster in me, but it was more than that. Bella had the ability to break through every barrier within me.

If I was feeling lost, she filled me up and provided me with the compass I needed to find the right direction. When I was beyond angry, she had the ability to quell the fire erupting within me with one simple touch of her hand on my chest.

On the other hand, she also had the ability to fill me with a fear so gripping that I lost all sense of reason. The short period of time that we were together she had frightened me to depths I hadn't even realized were possible. Tyler's van, the muggers in Port Angeles, James…a growl escaped me as I thought about James.

The joy she brought to me was beyond compare. Never in my entire existence had I experienced the joy I felt when she was in my arms dancing at her prom. Even when we were on the grounds of the school that evening and she was pressuring me to change her, I still felt ridiculously happy. Usually when she began pressuring me about changing her it would change my mood instantly, but that evening was magical. I smiled whenever this particular memory seeps into my mind. She looked so beautiful and when she threw her head back laughing while we were dancing, I knew I held a rare beauty in my arms.

And now, now the sadness within me permeates throughout me. Jasper can't be around me due to the overwhelming sadness. At times I feel it's manageable and can make it through, but then it grips me from within and brings me to my knees. A sadness so severe I wonder how I'll make it through the next hour and yet I still have an eternity ahead of me.

What was it about her that has done this to me? I want to be able to curse her for waking me from my existence and offering me so much more. But I know it wasn't Bella's fault that I couldn't resist her. She did nothing more than relocate to the same town, I was the one who jumped in and saved her from the van and the muggers. Had I just resisted those moments, perhaps things would have been different. I would be carrying on as I had for the past 90 years.

I shake my head knowing that I could never have done that, Bella would have been dead had I not stopped that van from crushing her. No, there was no way I could have that happen.

Alice screamed at me in my head at the time to let it be. Let destiny take its course, but I couldn't. There was no way someone like Bella should have been taken from this world; she belonged on earth to walk amongst mere humans gracing them with her wisdom and beauty.

It's ironic because she is an angel here on earth and perhaps that's why she's always being thrown in the path of danger. Maybe she's not intended to stay walking on earth, perhaps her destiny is a short-lived life so she can join a higher being. Ugh, another growl escapes from deep within, if there were a higher being he would never have allowed Bella and I to meet!

I know examining this is important but it's so frustrating there are no answers! My nature is to control situations and take command. Bella took that control away from me, not intentionally, but most certainly I lost control of all of my emotions around her. Except one, my natural instinct to take her life, in that one case I learned control.

From the moment Bella walked into that Biology room, she and I were drawn together. No, if I was completely honest with myself I was drawn to her in the cafeteria of her first day. When I tried so hard to hear her thoughts, thinking that maybe seeing her face for myself would help me connect to her mind. Instead, I was drawn to her eyes; eyes that spoke so clearly what her mind wouldn't let me have access to. Hearing the boring chatter of Jessica Stanley as she spoke so kindly to her, yet thought such vile thoughts, made me instantly want to protect Bella.

Then when she entered the Biology room and her scent hit me, all my natural instincts came to the surface. Everything we had worked so hard to conceal would end in a moment. I never encountered such a scent before, it invaded me, and made me crazed by the desire I felt to drain her right there in the classroom. Had it not been for Carlisle and the monster within me that I hated so vehemently, I would have killed her that afternoon.

It is so frustrating the range of emotions that are coursing through me. I hammer the steering wheel, how is it that a mere human girl could do this to me. Bella has become my own personal demon, every instant with her haunts me today as if the moments we spent together happened just yesterday.

It's not possible; she's just a girl, just an ordinary human girl. I'm a man, well over 100 years in age. How could this 18-year-old girl who has barely experienced life make me a mere shell of myself.

My family has suffered as well, Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and even Jasper. Esme was so happy to see me finally find a mate, someone who saw me as she saw me, someone special who deserved to be loved. But it wasn't just that for Esme, she truly loved Bella as a daughter. She saw Bella as a beautiful woman that offered so much of herself and asked for so little.

Carlisle's love for Bella was based on her ability to offer me a chance to see that I had redeeming qualities. This has been a subject discussed between Carlisle and myself on many occasions and he knew that if anyone could make me see my value that it would be Bella.

Emmett loved Bella because she was truly his little sister. Someone he could tease unmercifully, yet love beyond measure. She offered him a chance to act the part of a protecting big brother who would step in at even the slightest hint of trouble.

Alice, Alice loved Bella with all of her unbeating heart. Bella offered Alice the ability to truly be herself. Rosalie and Alice's relationship was sisterly, but Bella's ability to love beyond reason made Alice feel nearly human. Of course Alice had Jasper, but Bella was the girlfriend Alice always wanted. Because she knew so little of herself when she was a human Bella offered her something that was missing in her life. Bella completed Alice in a way that Jasper never could and never will.

Jasper loved Bella as much as anyone else in our family. But out of all in the family that loved her deeply, he had to distance himself from her. This pained Jasper because he saw the joy and love that Bella brought into our house. He wanted to share in the joy of Bella as much as the rest of us, but knew he couldn't take the chance of getting too close to her. Her humanity was the weak link in their relationship.

I know I made the right decision in walking away, in telling Bella the lie that would destroy me and everything my family had become. Inevitably my association with Bella would come to cause her harm. A simple birthday party for her turned into a nightmare from hell. My entire family was subjected to trying to control their natural instincts by a mere paper cut. The relationship with her had to end; there was no way I could allow it to continue.

Knowing my selfishness, I knew I couldn't stand by and allow her life to be taken from me. Even though I chose to walk away and that decision has nearly destroyed me, I can be satisfied with the thought that she's somewhere in the world living and breathing. This is what I must remember.

I must remain steadfast in my decision to keep my distance from her. It has taken more control than I ever imagined I possessed, to not return to Forks and beg her forgiveness, more control than it ever took to resist her scent. This decision, this lie must remain, for Bella's sake.

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	9. Family Ties

**Family Ties**

**I do not own any of the characters in Twilight.**

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EPOV

Arriving at our new home, I was once again astounded by Esme's ability to find the perfect retreat for our family. When I say she outdid herself with this residence, that is an understatement.

Our new home was a 287-acre estate that featured a main residence, a caretaker's residence, and a garage. There was a 12-stall barn complex with haylofts, silos and utility sheds. There were pastures for horse or cattle. There were several places on the property to quietly sit or walk and take in some absolutely incredible views. There was even 1,000 feet of lake/beach access.

The main residence, a 16,000 square foot Adirondack-style home, was set atop the highest point on the property, offering unsurpassed views of Lake Champlain and the Adirondack Mountains. Three stories, 18 rooms which included 4 bedrooms, 5 baths, an elevator, two entertainment areas with floor to ceiling windows that offered us beautiful views and each entertainment room featured a fireplace. There was 2 kitchens, one gourmet kitchen on the main floor and, a commercial-grade kitchen on the lower level for catering; of course we would never need two kitchens much less one for catering. The west facing side of the house featured 270-degree decking on the second and third stories.

The garage only had space for 3 cars so this would be the first thing we would need to expand. Based on all the property we had now, expansion would not be a problem. We were going to need to get this project underway quickly as my Aston Martin would be arriving soon and Rosalie will get in a rage if she doesn't have adequate space to work on her car.

The caretaker's residence was a 1.5 story, 7-room residence with 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and its own garage.

Our estate was located about 20 miles from Burlington, VT and about an hour's drive to both Stowe and Sugarbush. So Carlisle's commute to work would be easy and being so close to the slopes would make my entire family happy during the upcoming winter season.

I know as soon as Alice and Rosalie arrive it will be crazy while they run through the house and over the estate exploring every nook and cranny. I was glad my first viewing of the property and home were prior to their arrival. It afforded me the opportunity to pick my favorite room and discover all the wonderful places to lose myself on the property.

Esme and Carlisle were just beaming with pride over the latest addition to our homesteads. Based on what Esme had found there was very little remodeling that would need to be done to our newest residence. She really did find a gold mine one that would only increase in value over many years.

After being here for one day I began to wonder how Alice and Jasper would react to living with me once again, I actually was contemplating moving into the caretaker's residence. There was more than enough room for me and it gave my family privacy from my special gift. I knew I'd have to discuss this with Carlisle and Esme before the rest of the family joined us. Although I'd made the commitment and had determined that I was going to leave the past behind, I knew I would have my mood swings and this was something we should consider.

I had found a wonderfully peaceful path on our property that lead to an overlook of the lake with plenty of overgrowth to conceal my location from anyone else. I heard Esme's thoughts before I actually heard her approaching. _'Edward, do you mind if I join you?'_

"Esme, please sit. I always treasure your company, actually I was just going to return and ask to speak with you."

"Edward, I know you've reached your decision over and over again during the past year. I'm not here to discuss your choice; I'm here to discuss how I can help you live with your decision. What is it I can do for you son, to help you get past this?" Esme reached out and held my hand while gazing out at the view.

I sighed then looked at her, trying to get her to understand with my eyes that I would never get past Bella. I would move on, I would continue residing with my family playing my piano, but I would never get past loving Bella. "Esme, in all my years on this earth, I've never felt what I felt with Bella. I don't know that getting past those feelings is something that will happen. You of all people know what grief can do to a person. I'm not saying I won't try to make my existence more bearable, I just don't know how to do this. I don't know what everyone expects from me and what I should do with my time. I find myself constantly pushing thoughts of Bella to the back of mind so as not to dwell on what I cannot change."

She continued to hold my hand in one of hers and reached out to touch my face with her other. "Edward, you are right I know grief as no one else in our family should ever know. It is the most difficult, painful thing in life to lose someone you love. But you had a choice and this is the decision you felt made the most sense for both yourself and Bella. So you can either change your mind and go back to her, or make the best of your time without her. Your family is here for you Edward; we only want to help you during this time. So for now, I'll leave you with your thoughts, but please remember that we want nothing more than for you to be happy. When the family is together again, remember what I've told you today and try not to lose your patience with your brothers and sisters." She stood, brushed herself off and turned towards the view again, "perhaps attending college again would help fill some of the hours. You should consider it, there are some fine schools in Burlington that could at least occupy the time."

She began to walk away and thought, '_Don't be too long.' Carlisle would like your help in preparing the plans for the garage.'_

"I'll join you momentarily. And Esme, thank you."

She smiled and began running back to the house. I really did love Esme; she was kind and gentle but firm when required. Her words spoke nothing but the truth.

I looked out on the beauty of our new surroundings and sighed. If I was going to talk to Carlisle about the caretaker's residence I should do it now.

Carlisle was in his study reviewing the plans for our new garage. I knocked gently on the door, _'Come in Edward. I was hoping you would return soon so I could discuss the plans for our expansion of the garage. We need to get this done quickly in order for everyone's car to fit. The winter here can be pretty harsh.'_ He waved his hand at me to join him at his desk.

"Carlisle, can that wait a moment? I'd like to discuss our living arrangements?"

He looked at me and nodded his head towards one of the chairs, '_Please tell me you're not leaving again, it would kill Esme.'_ "Edward…"

"No Carlisle, I'm not leaving. We just arrived and I just returned to the family. I'm determined to stick to my decision." He nodded for me to continue, the relief was apparent in his face as the words left my mouth.

Looking down at my hands in my lap, I pushed my shoulders back, looked up into his face and heard him thinking, _'Oh this can't be good'_. I shook my head and smiled, "No again Carlisle, it's not that bad. I'm just not sure how you and Esme will feel about my request. I'd like to ask permission to reside in the caretaker's residence."

I saw a range of emotions in his face and then he thought, _'Would you mind if Esme joined us for this conversation? She will want to understand the reasons for your request, and not my interpretation of those reasons.'_

I nodded my head in approval and we stood to go find Esme.

He called out to her to join us on the main floor. As Carlisle and I sat on the couch, she quickly came down the stairs.

"Edward has requested that he reside in the caretaker's residence and I felt this was a discussion we should have together." With that they both turned to me to hear my reasons for distancing myself from our family.

"Well, as you know being around my family is comforting, but it's a double edged sword. Everyone has a mate and I've been a fifth wheel for a long time, that is until Bella entered my life. Since we are no longer together, I find it harder to go back to being the odd man out but yet, do not want to leave the comfort of my loved ones."

"With Jasper's gift, my sorrow has made it difficult for him to be around me and Alice is torn. I know that Alice will continue to accept my decision, but I see what it has done to her. She's grieving as well. And Rosalie and Emmett, well any chance I can get away from their lewd thoughts is a welcome respite." I smiled, knowing they would understand I meant that with nothing but love.

They both smiled a sad smile before answering. I purposely blocked their thoughts so we could have this conversation as most people would.

Carlisle and Esme looked at each other, then he leaned back on the couch and turned to me. "Edward, I know you think that this would be best for you, but Esme and I do not agree." He looked at Esme and took her hand in his. She smiled at him and nodded for him to continue.

"Although I'm technically not your father and Esme is not your mother, you are a mature vampire and can make up your own mind on most matters. But when it comes to decisions that effect the family, I believe that Esme and I need to step in to assist in determining what is best for everyone."

I started getting agitated at this point and he noticed. "Edward, hear me out before you get defensive. What I have to say has your best interests at heart. If you truly want to embrace the family again, then distancing yourself, even if it is a short distance, will not help you in your healing process. I'd like to offer a compromise." He stopped and waited for my response.

Looking at him and Esme I realized they were not trying to be difficult, they were just trying to help. So I held out my hands for him to continue.

"Stay, stay in the main residence with your family, let us live together once again. Give your family the opportunity to help you and for you to help us. We are all grieving and should stay together during the healing process. If you feel after some time, a couple of months, that you need to distance yourself, or if Jasper is having difficulty with your feelings, then the caretaker's residence is yours." He looked from me to Esme waiting for my answer.

"Fine, that sounds like a fair compromise" I said while running my fingers through my hair. "But, if anyone starts giving me a hard time, I'm leaving." They knew without my saying that I was referring to Rosalie. We never discussed Rosalie's attitude towards Bella but they both knew that out of everyone in the family Rose was most apt to get smug about my choice in leaving Bella.

"Good, I'm glad you agree. I think you'll find your family will be a balm that helps you through this. We never want you to feel we are pushing you or restraining you." With that he stood and took Esme's hand and they went to his study.

I went to the window and looked out. Well, in a few short days the rest of the family would be here. I was beginning to feel anxious about seeing Alice again, I would have to speak with her to make her understand my decision and feelings on Bella. But in the meantime we have a garage to build, I walked up the stairs to join Carlisle and Esme.

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	10. Feeling Real Good

**Feeling Real Good**

**Of course like everyone else I don't own any characters you may recognize from Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Series.**

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BPOV

The first week of classes went by very quickly. I loved every minute of my courses, the workload is enormous, but college is so much more fulfilling than high school. My professors are engaging, the curriculum is interesting and even the study work isn't boring. All consuming, but certainly not dull. The courses I'm really enjoying are Rhetoric and Adolescent Psychology.

One course I know I'll have trouble with will be Integrating Technology. Technology and I aren't strangers, but I'm not the most techno-savvy person walking the streets. The idea is to begin using technology and evaluate software so it can be adapted into my life for improving teaching skills. Because I'm an English major I've decided my ultimate career path will be in High School Education. So this course is part of my mandatory curriculum and after my first couple of classes, I just know it's going to be a struggle.

Roxanne and I have had very little time to get to know one another, other than developing a routine in sharing the room and bath. That's not to say we aren't talking to each other, but our conversations have been strictly about assignments, professors and finding our way around the campus. It's as if any personal exchange has been put on hold during this week.

With the weekend upon us, Roxanne is more than ready for some social time. She told me if she hears me breath one word about our courses before Sunday she's personally going to trip me. Today we've decided to head off campus and venture into the downtown waterfront area. Today will be our first chance to explore the town of Burlington.

Since we'll be sightseeing I've dressed in clothing that's comfortably chic. The nice part about living in Burlington is I feel comfortable in whatever I wear, even if it's a pair of ratty old sweats. The attire within the community is anything from top of the line designer wear to old worn out tennis shoes and torn T's. My wardrobe is pretty middle of the road, so my current wardrobe works and I'm fine with my closet offerings at this point.

I knock on the bathroom door and tell Roxanne I'm heading down to grab a cup of coffee and something to eat. I quickly head out the door and bolt down the stairs, I'm actually getting much better at managing to descend without tripping every time.

Upon walking into the kitchen I see the usual gang sitting around the table enjoying breakfast. "Good morning everyone. Isn't it a beautiful day?"

Anne looks up over her coffee mug with a sly smile, "well, isn't someone a bit too chipper this morning? What's up?"

"Nothing, I'm just a little excited. Roxanne and I are heading downtown to explore, I'm thinking it will be a little more entertaining then campus." I was nearly bouncing up and down as I said this. I decided what the hell and started bouncing up and down, "So what do you recommend we see first?"

Roxanne walked into the room just as I was bouncing up and down and said, "Oh no, you aren't going to embarrass me today are you? I may have to leave you here if you continue acting this way!"

Everyone started laughing at our banter. Anne said, "Guys, you should just walk downtown head towards the Waterfront Park. There are benches and swings along the path and you get a chance to see some nice views of the mountains."

"You can also avoid downtown and head towards Ethan Allan's homestead. You can't walk there, but a cab could take you. It offers some interesting retrospect into life in the 18th century," Ian said as he shrugged his shoulders.

Rox made a face at this suggestion, "I think I've had enough learning for this week, thank you very much. I think I like the way Anne is thinking; walking, sitting, and swinging offers me about as much mindless entertainment as I can handle after this week."

We all laughing, Drake piped in at this point, "Rox if you're this drained after one week, wait till finals. You'll be the picture of the walking dead!"

"Okay, okay. Enough of the camaraderie. I want to hit the streets, my feet are just itching to get a move on it," I said as I started bouncing again.

Roxanne and I waved good-bye and walked out arm in arm. It felt great to be heading out for a day that wasn't filled with commitments and structure. It was nice to know we had a whole day to do whatever we wanted. As we were walking along I realized how comforting it was to be with Roxanne, there was no need for conversation we were just enjoying the walk.

She and I walked along the waterfront area while people watching and talked about anything that came to mind. I asked about her interest in Drake and if she thought it was going anywhere. She paused for a second and then smiled, "I think maybe it will. It's too soon to tell though. This week I was so busy getting used to my class schedule and working on the assignments, I didn't really have much time for socializing. But when I was in the common room the other night, I glanced up and saw him watching me. He didn't want me to see him looking so he quickly looked down at his book, but I definitely caught him. So what about you or are you not ready to reveal anything about guys and Ian yet?"

I made a face at her before answering, "Rox, I just want to focus on school. Ian's nice and everything but school comes first. I'm still not ready to talk about everything yet; I just want to enjoy life in Burlington before getting into heavy discussions about my past. Please tell me you understand."

"Bella of course I understand," she said with a smile. "I'm just dying of curiosity and find myself making up interesting little dramas about you. I hope the story you'll tell is as interesting as my thoughts" she chuckled. "Come on, I'm starving. Let's see what Church Street has to offer in the way of food."

We headed towards Church Street to find a place to eat and were amazed at the amount of people walking the marketplace. There was so much going on between the stores, live-entertainment and great restaurants, we walked up one side of Church Street and down the other. It's a quaint pedestrian only cobblestone street closed to motorized vehicles; we decided to pick a place to eat so we could continue our exploration of the street when we were done.

After reviewing all the choices available we decided to eat at a deli called The Red Onion Deli. We sat outside and were enjoying the afternoon while eating and people watching. It was so easy to talk to Roxanne, I felt like I had known her for years as opposed to a week. We discussed things like favorite television programs, favorite foods, funny things that have happened to us during our time in high school. It's funny but our personalities were very similar. We were both on the shy side during school and although we made friends easily we weren't the popular kids. I was feeling a real connection with Roxanne, one that in the past I had only begun to feel with Angela. My connection with Roxanne seemed to be stronger than my connection with Angela though, maybe it was because we were spending so much time together and my time with Angela was limited.

Just as we were getting to the end of our meal I heard my name being called. Both Roxanne and I looked around to see who could possibly be calling out to me here. And then we spotted him at the same time, Derrick.

"Hey Bella, how you doing? Funny running into you here, what have you been up to? Are you having fun? Can you believe how fast the week went by?" As he was asking these questions he was dancing on his feet like he had to use the restroom. Roxanne and I sat there for a couple of minutes watching him. When he finally stopped asking all of his questions, he grinned at me like he was going to burst.

"So Derrick, which question would you like Bella to answer first?" Roxanne asked while trying to keep a straight face.

"Huh, oh it doesn't matter, whichever." he shrugged. Once again he was looking at me like he expected me to do something. I have no idea what, but apparently it was my cue.

"Well, I'm doing good. Roxanne and I were just enjoying some time away from campus and schoolwork because yes, the week did go fast and there's so much to do, we needed a break. I'm glad we came down here I had no idea how much there is to do in Burlington." I hoped that this would be enough and he would get on with his day and we could get back to enjoying our time. But that wasn't to be.

"So, um do you think I could join you?"

Roxanne and I looked at each other and she was the one who answered, "Derrick, we're sorry but we were just leaving. We're just waiting for our check."

"Oh no, I didn't mean for lunch. I meant for the afternoon. Would you mind if I tagged along?" he asked me. He couldn't take his eyes off me, not even when Roxanne was answering his questions. How on earth was I going to let this guy down easy, not only did he live in the same housing as me, but he seemed so sensitive. This was going to be very tricky.

I looked at Roxanne and she said, "Well, while Bella answers your question, I'll use the ladies room." At which point she got up and hurried inside, I thought I heard her laughing, but then she cleared her throat. Yes, she did laugh, I was going to have to kill her later for leaving me like this!

Derrick grabbed Roxanne's chair so fast and pulled it up next to me. He grabbed my hand from the table and placed it in his. He looked at me and said, "Bella." That was it, just Bella, what was I supposed to say to that. I decided right then I would pay Roxanne back for abandoning me.

Pulling my hand out of his, "Derrick we would be happy to have you join us. That would be great." In my mind I was working out a plan to turn Derrick into someone who loved Bella into someone who loved Roxanne and I had every intention of making that happen before evening fell.

"I'm not sure if you know this or not Derrick, but Roxanne is pretty attracted to you.  
She talks about you all the time. In fact, I'm a little uncomfortable because it almost appears like you barely notice her and you like me instead. You don't, do you?" I don't know how I was keeping a straight face, but I was.

His face became red and he looked around and said, "Bella I do like you. I like you a lot. We should go on a date; we could be boyfriend and girlfriend. I could make you feel real good." He reached over and grabbed the back of my head and started kissing me. No, he wasn't kissing me he was licking me! This was not going at all the way I wanted it to.

I pulled away pretty swiftly, so quickly that my chair got stuck in a crack on the sidewalk and I tumbled backwards chair and all. There I was on the sidewalk with the chair turned over and everyone in the deli and street staring at me. I didn't think I could turn a deeper shade of red. It wasn't just because I was embarrassed, I was angry. What did he think he was doing?

A waiter came running over helping me to stand up, "Are you okay? Do you need help? Let me see you didn't get hurt did you? Let me get you some ice for your arm."

"No, no I'm fine thank you. Please no harm done, it was my fault." I looked over at Derrick and he was sitting there with a look on his face between shock and a grin. A grin…what is wrong with this guy!

"Derrick, what are you doing?" I screamed at him as I brushed myself off. "You had no right to…to…whatever it is you just did. Do you honestly believe that what you just did was appropriate?"

He jumped out of the chair and came to my side grabbing my arm, "But Bella, come on. You can't say you didn't like that. I wanted you to know how I feel about you. Okay, so maybe it will take a little longer for you. Let's get your check and walk down the street and I'll get you an ice cream. Yes an ice cream would be great, I'd like to watch you eat an ice cream."

I pulled my arm away from him and stared at him, this guy had to be nuts or something. Just then Roxanne came walking over and looked at the two of us and turned to Derrick and said, "I'm not sure what's going on here but I don't like the look of it. I think you should leave Derrick. NOW!"

He looked at her and then back at me, "You don't get to make decisions for Bella. I'm the one she really wants to be with. Besides, she told me how you like me; well I'm not interested in you. Bella and I were meant to be together. So why don't you leave!"

This was just getting worse by the minute. People in the deli were watching us like we were the latest reality TV show coming up this season. I had to find a way to get this to end peacefully and by the look on Roxanne's face it didn't seem like that was likely to happen.

"Derrick, you should leave. I'm not sure what made you think I was interested in you, but I'm not. So please, just go." I reached for my chair and grabbed my bag to show I had every intention of leaving myself. Leaving now would be good for all three of us; I had a feeling that someone may call the cops soon.

I started walking away, it took Roxanne a couple of minutes but then she was right along side me. We didn't say anything at first and then I started laughing. She looked over at me completely baffled and that made me laugh even harder. Soon she was laughing as hard as I was.

"Do you know why I'm laughing?" I asked her between gulps of air.

"No, but it's just good to see and hear. When I came out of the bathroom it looked so tense, I was afraid of what happened. So laughter is good, laughter is great!"

"I told Derrick that you liked him!" I couldn't control myself at this point; I was bent over with my hands on my knees holding myself up. There were tears coming down my face from laughing so hard. "His reaction was to grab me and stick his tongue so far down my throat I thought I would choke or vomit lunch back up into his mouth."

Now she was laughing as hard as I was. We were wheezing we were laughing so hard. "He actually told me he could, and I quote, 'make me feel real good' can you believe that."

"Oh my god. And here I thought he was harmless and just pathetic. Now I know he's pathetic alright, he's pathetic in a bad way." Her laughter was dying down and I was still wiping tears from my eyes.

"Seriously though, we need to watch out for him. If that's how he reacted in public, he might be pretty scary running into him in the laundry room. We should tell Anne what happened. In thinking about it, he's really kind of creepy. I don't want you to be alone with him." Her face was very serious now.

"Rox, come on. He can't hurt me. He's just a little over aggressive and doesn't know how to act around girls."

"All the same, we're telling Anne about him. I don't feel good about leaving you vulnerable, what if I'm not around and he corners you or something. We have to at least tell her and see what she says." She grabbed my arm and started pulling me towards campus and Bader Hall. I guess our afternoon of fun was officially over!

* * *


	11. Protectors

**Protectors **

**I do not own any of the characters in Twilight.**

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BPOV

As soon as we arrived back at our house, Roxanne was immediately going from room to room looking for Anne, pulling me along with her. "Rox, Rox, stop. We don't need to do this. I'm fine there's nothing wrong. You need to calm down, this really isn't that big of a deal."

"Absolutely not, we are telling Anne about this and we are telling her right away. I don't want you to play this down or forget about anything that creep pulled out there." Her face let me know she was not about to back down on this. In the short period of time we've been friends I could tell that there were times when you could persuade Roxanne and there were times she was not going to move an inch. She could be a real force to be reckoned with!

We found Anne, Sam and Drake sitting outside on the deck. "Good, I'm glad you're all here. We have got to tell you something that happened in town."

I was pulling on Roxanne's arm now. "Rox, I'd really rather not make this public knowledge for the whole house. Anne, can we talk to you for a minute, privately. Sorry guys, this is something I'd like to keep a little private."

Both of them got up, Sam looked at Roxanne and I, he patted Anne on the back and said, "No problem ladies, we can take a hint. We know when we're not wanted. See you later." He winked at us letting us know he didn't take our dismissal personally.

"Okay, I'm all ears. What happened?" Anne waved her hand for us to sit.

"Bella, you tell her and don't leave anything out." Rox stood looking at me with her hands on her hips.

"Well, I'm not sure if you know him or not, but that guy Derrick…" I couldn't help it I started laughing again. Anne just looked from me to Roxanne. "I'm sorry, I just think it's so funny. Let me get this out. Derrick found us in town and asked to join us. Well to make a long story short, he decided to let me know how he felt about me by grabbing me and shoving his tongue down my throat and…" I starting snickering again, I couldn't help it. How could a guy say that to a woman and think she would actually like it? "told me that 'he could make me feel real good!"

I looked at Roxanne and Anne at that point with a smirk on my face. "So that's the story, that's what happened."

Roxanne shook her head, "No, Bella's playing it down. I had gone to the ladies room so Bella could let him down easy and apparently he was a little too aggressive in trying to capture Bella's attention. When I came out of the ladies room the chair was knocked over and she was furious. I told him to get lost, but he proceeded to tell me it was Bella's decision, not mine, to ask him to leave. He actually believes Bella likes him!" Roxanne had a very worried look on her face as she quickly looked at Anne and me.

Anne sighed and then looked back at me, "Bella, does he make you nervous?"

"Not really, I actually feel sorry for him. I don't think he'll do anything further, but Roxanne is worried he'll corner me in the laundry room or something. I think she may be a little overprotective." I looked over at Roxanne and she was shaking her head disagreeing completely.

Roxanne's protective nature made me smile, she really was a great person and I was lucky to have her in my life. In a week's time we had become friends for life. She was naturally cautious about everything, almost paranoid at times, but I loved her all the more for it.

"Here's how we'll handle this. Bella if you don't mind I'm going to let Sam and the guys keep an eye on Derrick to make sure he doesn't bother you with unwelcome advances anymore. If he tries anything else, he's out. No ifs ands or buts, he'll have to find a new house if the administration will allow him to stay."

"Roxanne, you have to understand I don't want to take this any further if Bella isn't willing. This is Derrick's education and future, if I go to the administration and ask for him to be removed they are going to want to know why. It could get real messy and this could just be an over zealous guy." She looked at Roxanne and quickly said, "Don't worry we'll make sure that Bella is protected and he doesn't get anywhere near her. Do you both agree?" She looked at us waiting our agreement.

I nodded my head while Roxanne scowled. "If this is how it's going to be handled, fine. But if he even looks in her direction, I'm all over him. I don't care, I'm not taking a chance with him getting over zealous to the point where he does some serious damage." She looked at the two of us and her face showed she was committed to this with every fiber in her being. She was small but she was determined to do whatever necessary to protect me.

I got up and pulled her up into a hug. "Rox, thank you. Thank you for loving me the way you do, but I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm going to head upstairs and lay down before dinner. All that laughing took a lot out of me."

As I was leaving the deck, she called out, "I'll be up around seven, we're going out tonight! I want to have fun tonight and forget all about that creep." I waved my hand at her and continued walking towards the stairs.

Even though Roxanne could get a bit carried away with her feelings about Derrick, it made me feel great knowing that we had forged such a strong friendship in one week. The day was fun in spite of Derrick's antics. The whole thing brought back memories of Forks and I decided to give Jake a call. I hadn't spoken to him since the first day and I promised him I would call.

I sat on my bed and pulled out my cell. With all the excitement, apparently I had missed three calls, all from Renee. Ugh, I was going to have to call her back as well. So much for resting!

Dialing Renee first, always tackle the difficult task before the pleasurable one! "Hello? Bella, is that you?"

"Yes Mom, the caller id showed it was me, didn't it?" Sometimes Renee could say some of the most ridiculous things. I snickered to myself. "So did you like the photos I sent? I figured if I sent you an email describing everything, you'd insist that I send pictures."

"Oh honey, they were great. Your room looks wonderful and that house…you're living in luxury in comparison to Charlie's' small place. So how are the classes, are you enjoying them?"

"They're great Mom. I never thought I would like college as much as I do. Its so stimulating, nothing like high school. The school and surrounding town is so much fun, I'm glad I made the choice to come here." I was playing with my hair, twiddling it around my finger as I spoke to her. I really did miss her, but part of me knew if I spent any amount of time with her she would start getting on my nerves. Pushing the boundaries of digging deep into my thoughts. The past year was tough on her as I was getting over 'him', she really wanted me to move to Florida and didn't believe me when I told her I was doing fine. I must have really scared her when Charlie had her come out during my meltdown. She only calmed down when she came to graduation and saw for herself that I was handling everything.

"So tell me all about Roxanne and the boys you've met. You have met some boys, right? I mean you aren't spending all your time on studying are you? You need to make time to socialize Bella, I know how you get." I could hear the concern in her voice, I hated when she became the concerned mom!

Rolling my eyes in frustration I said, "Mom, Roxanne is great as I told you in my emails. As far as boys are concerned there are a few in the house and I'm making friends with them, but that's it. They're just friends, so don't start. I'm here for school Mom! Most mothers would be telling their daughters to study and forget about boys. Here you are pushing me to disregard my education and go on a boy hunt. Honestly Mom!" I couldn't help letting my frustration out, I had to make her understand that having a boyfriend was not at the top of my priority list. I knew I was being short with her, but I wanted her to stop pushing me. She really wanted me to find another boyfriend so I could forget all about 'him' as she put it. That wasn't likely to happen any time soon.

"I know honey, but you have to understand. I only have your well being in mind, and I never said to disregard your education. I just want you to have a well rounded college life." She sighed into the phone, probably realizing that she'd lost the battle again.

"It's okay, I understand. So how's Phil and what have you been doing?" changing the subject quickly. I knew she was going to start telling me all about her latest escapades, so I laid back on the bed and made myself comfortable for the rest of the call.

After she had finished telling me all about her latest adventures, she was taking surfing lessons, I cut her off telling her I had to head down and grab something to eat. Before I ended the call I promised I would send her the photos I had taken today so she could see how wonderful Burlington was. I knew if I didn't make an excuse of some sort, she'd keep me on the phone another hour and I still had to call Jake.

Dialing Jake's number quickly, I sat up. I was getting too relaxed and knew I'd fall asleep if I wasn't careful. He answered on the first ring, "Hello". His voice sounded as if he'd been expecting a call and was angry about something.

"Hey Jake, how you doing?" I closed my eyes picturing his face, my own personal sun.

"Bells, I'm so glad you called. I miss you. So I'm guessing you're missing me too if you're calling me on a Saturday afternoon." He chuckled and I realized just how much I really did miss him. I hadn't really thought about him much during the week and the sound of his voice and his laughter made me slightly homesick.

"I'm great, and Jake…3 hour time difference remember. It's evening here about six, I'm calling before I head out for the night. I just wanted to call and let you know how everything was going. The last time I called was for Charlie and it was too early in my relocation to give you any details."

"So tell me all about it, I don't really have anything to report from here. Nothing really changes on the rez, you know how slow going it is!"

"Well, my roommate is great, you'll love her. She's funny, caring, a bit over-protective…" He interrupted at this point, "Why would she be over-protective Bella, what happened?"

Ut oh, my other protector, I shouldn't have let that slip. "Nothing, nothing at all. She just likes to stay by my side, she feels like I'm just a country girl and need to be watched over." Phew, hopefully that will ease his mind.

"Oh, okay. You would tell me though if something were wrong, wouldn't you? You know Bells, I would fly out there tomorrow if I thought somebody was hurting you?" I could hear the concern in his voice, and knew he was serious. Even if he couldn't afford the airfare, he would be here if I asked.

"No, don't worry. I'm great. Classes are great and I really love the town of Burlington. Jake this was the right decision. I needed the change of geography, you know I love you but I needed to do this. Even I didn't realize how much, until this week. Taking these courses is exhilarating, the week flew by and I have so much homework, but I'm actually looking forward to digging in and getting it done."

"Looking forward to homework, Bells that's just crazy! You really need to get out and have some fun; maybe I should fly out just to make sure you learn how to have fun. I could be your professor of enjoyment!" He and I both laughed at that.

"Believe me Jake, Roxanne wouldn't allow me to only focus on school. She's giving you pretty stiff competition on showing me how to relax and enjoy life. So how's things with everyone in Forks?"

"The same, nothing changes around here. You know that. Jared and Quill are being jerks as usual, Charlie's great. Billy is keeping him pretty busy so he doesn't miss you so much."

"Great, I'm glad. I wouldn't want him to get lonely. Well Jake, I'm going to get ready to head out for the night. I have no idea what Roxanne has planned, but I should start preparing. I'll call you soon okay?"

"Sure, sure. Bells? I love you, don't forget that okay?"

I smiled, "No Jake, I would never forget that. Love you too." I hung up and sat there looking at my cell. I did miss him, but knew it was best to distance myself from him. Even though we had worked out the fact that I wasn't interested in him the same way he was interested in me, if I hadn't left he would never pursue anyone else. I knew I had to leave so he could find someone special to share his love and life with. I didn't want him pining away on me when there was no way I could return those feelings.

There wasn't much time to dwell on my call with Jake, as Roxanne burst into the room. She looked so excited, I found myself smiling because her enthusiasm was so contagious.

"Girl, get ready! We're all going out tonight!" Roxanne was grabbing clothes from her closet and throwing them on her bed. "What should I wear? Bella what do you think, the green tank with my black jeans and this blazer, or my blue jeans, this white T and the red sweater?" As she was asking me, she started holding things up to show me and was looking at me with a panicked look.

"Whoa, wait. First of all where are we going? Second, I'm not a fashion coordinator, look at me Rox! I can barely dress myself."

"Oh sorry, I forgot to tell you. We're going dancing, it's going to be great" she squealed. Anne, Sam, Drake, Ian, you and I are heading out to City Hall Park. There's a dance marathon being held tonight with local bands and DJs. This is going to be so much fun, Bella. I haven't been dancing in, I can't tell you how long. It turns out that this marathon is held once a year to raise money for the City Arts Community Program." She had already made her decision as to what she was going to wear and was entering the bathroom to change.

"Wait a minute. I don't dance! I'm Bella, remember klutz with a capital "K". What were you thinking, how could you think this would be good for me? No, there's no way I'm going. You guys go on without me; I'll be fine here. I wanted to catch up on some reading anyway." I sat back down on my bed and reached over to my desk to grab a book to read.

Roxanne came tearing out the bathroom, grabbed the book out of my hands and threw it on the desk. She stood over me in only her bra and jeans with her hands on her hips, "YOU ARE TOO COMING! This is going to be great. Don't you see, it doesn't matter if you're a klutz and don't know how to dance. It's a dance marathon with tons of different kinds of music and entertainment. You don't have to dance if you don't want to. But hanging out with us all night as opposed to hanging out in this room reading is a much better Saturday night. Even I have to believe that you like us way more than hanging out by yourself. And" as she glanced over at my desk, "reading a book you've read how many times? Now get a move on it, put on your sexiest jeans and that really cute pink top you have in your closet because we have people waiting for us!" She grabbed my arm and pulled me off my bed and pushed me towards my closet.

Whining the whole time, "Roxanne you have no idea the damage I can cause by even getting next to a dance floor. This is just asking for trouble. I'll go because you're forcing me so I have no choice, but you will be responsible for any physical harm that comes to anyone, or any damages that may be inflicted to any property as a result of my klutziness." I put on my jeans and shirt and headed into the bathroom to fix my hair and make-up while she finished getting dressed.

This is going to be a long night and it was only seven o'clock!

* * *


	12. Dance Fever

**Dance Fever**

**Nothing from the Twilight Series or Ms. Meyers works belong to me!**

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BPOV

Everyone was standing in the front hall waiting for Rox and I. We came downstairs and everyone headed out the door. As we were walking along, Ian came up along side me and smiled. "So I hear you had an eventful afternoon?"

"Ugh, yeah you could say that. I don't know that I'd say eventful, but certainly memorable," I said as I shook my head. "I can't believe he actually said that to me."

He raised an eyebrow, "Just what did he say? Anne didn't give us details, she just told us to keep an eye on Derrick because he wound up chasing you down this afternoon and was bothering you."

"Oh, well then maybe I shouldn't say. It really wouldn't be nice to tell. If Anne didn't want you to know, then perhaps I should just drop it."

"Anne wasn't protecting Derrick Bella, she was protecting your privacy. Sam and Anne both said you didn't want everyone to know what happened." He looked down at me and waited for me to tell him.

That was really very nice of Anne to consider my feelings on this. I didn't have an issue with Sam, Drake and Ian knowing what happened, I just felt bad for Derrick. I don't know why, but I felt sorry for him. As creepy as that whole scene was, it could be expected coming from someone like Derrick. He just didn't know how to act around people, much less girls.

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "It's no big deal really. He just decided to not only tell me how he felt about me, but he acted on it as well."

"He did what! Exactly what did he do?"

I could tell he was getting tense. He started walking faster and wouldn't look at me. Roxanne turned to us then, smiled at me with an 'I told you so' look. She turned back to Drake and started telling him what happened. Ian was walking along side of them now and I was a couple of steps behind while she told the story. Both Ian and Drake were pretty upset about how Derrick had treated me. I decided it was time to put in my two cents to lighten the mood.

"What Roxanne didn't tell you was how I told Derrick that she had a crush on him and that he should have been pursuing her. I was trying to get him to latch onto her so she could see how much fun it is to have someone like chase you around."

"Yes, but that boy is too enamored with you to even give me a second look." She said while sticking her tongue out at me.

Ian looked at me again, "Bella why are you giving him the benefit of the doubt. He's a creep and doesn't deserve your consideration, much less your kindness." The way he said it was like he was frustrated with me. It was as if Ian wanted me to be an emotional wreck about this. He kept up his pace so that there wasn't a way I could keep stride with him. What was this all about, why get mad at me? I felt a little disappointed with the way Ian was acting, it's not like I asked for Derrick to behave the way he did.

Very shortly we could hear music as we approached the park. Roxanne pointed ahead and said, "Look at the crowds. This is going to be great." Oh no, way too many people, this was bound to be a mistake. As we arrived at the park it became evident most of Burlington had come out for the Dance Dance Marathon.

There were vendors selling all types of things from pottery and jewelry to pretzels and ice cream. The area for the Dance area was roped off and as we made our way closer it became apparant this was a "Marathon", how could I have not made that connection. There was no way I could participate in a Marathon. I knew I couldn't dance and now they wanted me to participate in a marathon. Hours and hours on end dancing and not being able to stop, this was not good.

Grabbing Roxanne's arm and pulling her away from Drake I hissed at her, "I thought you said I wouldn't have to dance if I didn't want to? I don't know what I was thinking, maybe it was because I was preoccupied with the thought of dancing, but there's no way I can participate in a marathon!" I was so nervous I was going to make a fool out of myself in front of not only my new friends but also most everyone in Burlington.

Anne and Sam had stepped up to someone behind a podium but I couldn't tell what they were doing. Roxanne just laughed, "Bella don't worry. Anne and Sam are getting the information to see if we can even participate. I guess it's started already so we may not be able to. Calm down, let's see what the deal is." She pulled me along with her to join Ian and Drake who were standing off to the side waiting for Anne and Sam.

Anne came back and said, "Oh well, we missed our chance. The dance is closed; they aren't allowing any more participants. We can walk around the grounds, hang back and watch the marathon, or find something else to do. What do you think?"

"I want to dance. How about you guys?" Roxanne said turning to Ian and Drake. She knew better than to ask me.

"Sure let's go find somewhere else so Roxanne can get happy feet." Drake smiled at her now and pulled her into him while wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Come on guys, there's a club down on Church Street we can go to."

As we were walking towards the club, Anne came walking up to me, "Why the long face Bella, is everything okay?" Its funny how my face shows all my emotions, I'm so easily read, like an open book as Renee has always told me.

"Nothing, I'm just nervous. I don't dance, no that's wrong I can't dance. I'm not just two left feet; I don't have feet at all when it comes to dancing. I'm not sure how she did it, but Roxanne dragged me along and now I'm regretting that decision." I smiled at her but it really wasn't a smile more like a smirk.

"Come on Bella, it'll be fine. No one has any expectations from you. We're not here to judge you on your dancing abilities. We just wanted to get out of the house and enjoy some time with our new friends. So lighten up and just enjoy the company, the club we're going to has chairs and everything" she said while chuckling. Then she smiled and nodded her head towards Ian, "I know for a fact that he was really happy you were joining us this evening."

Oh boy was she trying to make me even more uncomfortable. I certainly didn't need the added pressure of trying to make sure that Ian didn't get the wrong impression all while still trying to build a friendship with him. I liked Ian; he was quiet and intelligent, and had a sense of humor that made me laugh. When I was with him on my first full day in Burlington, I really enjoyed our time together.

I was staring at him and thinking all these thoughts, lost in my own little world, when Anne nudged me, "Bella did you hear me? I asked you if you brought your student ID? You can't get in unless you have your ID. They won't let you drink because you aren't of age yet, but you can get in if you have your ID."

"Oh sorry, I was just drifting for a minute there. Yeah, I have it, no problem. It's fine I can't drink, the last thing I need to do is drink in a club, again the klutz thing ya know" I smirked at her.

"Bella you really need to lighten up on the whole klutz thing. Maybe you're so klutzy because you put so much thought into it. I believe that we control our own destiny and maybe not consciously but subconsciously you are probably causing your own klutzy behavior. If you relax, enjoy, and loosen up you might find that some of the klutziness will disappear." She nodded her head letting me know to think about it.

I really liked Anne, she was like the older sister that I never had. She was calm and patient, different from Roxanne. Where as Roxanne was cautious and always willing to jump at dragons that weren't there, Anne evaluated the situation from every angle and made her own conclusions. She didn't make me feel stupid, she just pointed out a different perspective.

"Thanks Anne. I'll give it a shot. You might be right, but then again don't blame me if you're wrong. I warned you. I've visited more hospitals than you could possibly imagine."

"Then the next question is, did you bring your medical ID card?" She and I laughed.

We stepped up our pace to catch up with everyone. They had just gotten to the club and were waiting at the door for the two of us. The club looked old with a marquee outside announcing the entertainment of the evening. Apparently all the local DJs weren't at the marathon!

We walked in and headed up the stairs to get to the main area of the club, it was packed. I guess anyone who couldn't participate in the marathon decided dancing was the entertainment of choice this evening. The lighting was pulsing with the music and the sound level was such that you could barely hear anyone next to you screaming in your ear. I made the decision to just let go, Anne was right I was here with my new friends and I should just relax and enjoy myself.

We found a table, no chairs but at least we could stand by the table and had a place to put down our refreshments. As soon as we were settled, Roxanne grabbed Drake's hand and pulled him out on the dance floor. Anne and Sam followed and were quickly lost in the mass amount of bodies swaying to the music.

I looked at Ian as he turned to me and smiled. He leaned over the table and shouted, "So Bella, can I get you anything?"

"No, I'm okay for now. Ian if you want to go dance, please go ahead. You don't have to hang back with me, I'll stay here." I waved my arms towards the floor letting him know to go.

"No way, I'm not leaving you standing here for all the vultures. Come on, why don't you dance with me, I'll be gentle." He grinned at me, took my hand and started pulling me towards the dance floor.

"Ian, that's not really advisable. I'm not very good and I may embarrass you." I was pulling back towards the table but he had a good grip on my hand and wasn't letting me go.

"Bella, you couldn't embarrass me more than I'll embarrass myself. I've never taken any dance lessons; I just let the music move me. I probably look like I'm having seizures when I'm dancing, the difference between you and I is I don't care what people think. I'm here having fun and to hell with what someone I don't know thinks."

We had reached the dance floor and faced each other. He started swaying to the music and dancing around me, just enjoying himself. At first I just stood there and then I started moving, making sure to keep my hands at my sides and barely moving my feet. More like just shuffling along. He was grinning and shaking his head.

He leaned into me and yelled in my ear, "Bella you can move your arms and feet. No one will care if you bump into them. Look at this place, everyone is bumping into one another, that's part of the fun." He pulled back and grinned at me.

I shrugged my shoulders and started moving a little more, I closed my eyes out of fear, but felt myself really feeling the music now. I started focusing on the music instead of my movements and when I opened my eyes again, he was really smiling. He gave me two thumbs up in approval of my new attempts.

We continued dancing for what seemed like hours. The DJ was great, playing a lot of the songs that I had on my iPod. I was really having a great time now that I let myself relax, but I was starting to get hot and thirsty. Leaning towards him I said, "I think that's enough for me for now, I really need to get some fluids in me before I continue."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back in the direction of our table. When we arrived we discovered the table was no longer ours. We headed over to the bar. Ian ordered us both a tall glass of ice water which didn't last very long as both of us were parched. We continued resting while standing by the bar scanning the crowd for the rest of our party.

He leaned into me, "So Bella, are you enjoying yourself?" His face was so cute, he was smiling so broadly now and his eyes were sparkling.

"Yes, thank you." I looked down at my drink as I blushed.

"Come on, enough hydration, we're here to have fun." He pulled me back to the dance floor.

We found Roxanne and Drake this time and the four of us were dancing with each other. This really was a good time, but with all the bodies we were fanning ourselves as the sweat rolled down our bodies. The music was really pumped up now and there was just no way to attempt to talk while dancing. I looked at Ian and he was just dripping in sweat, I thought perhaps I could help him cool down a bit. I took my glass that I had drained of water, it only had ice in it and pulled the back of his shirt out and dumped the ice. He jumped back and looked at me, I smiled, leaned into him and yelled, "Just trying to help cool you down. You looked like you needed it."

Roxanne and Drake just looked from me to Ian and grinned. The song ended and all of us walked off the dance floor heading towards the bar. I grabbed Roxanne's hand and told her I was heading to the ladies room. She nodded in understanding and I went in search of the restroom.

Upon returning I saw that Anne and Sam had found us. We decided to call it a night and head back to the house. As we left, I noticed that Ian was walking ahead of everyone and walking at a stride that would very soon put him at a substantial distance from us. I turned to Drake and Roxanne and asked, "Is he alright?"

Drake looked ahead towards Ian, turned to me and said, "Yeah, he's fine. I guess he's just in a hurry to get back. Well, did you enjoy yourself, it sure looked like you were having fun."

"Oh yeah, it was great. Don't get me wrong; I'm not about to become a dancing queen or anything. But that was fun. And Rox," I turned to look at her, "don't get any ideas about doing this every weekend. There's no way I'll be doing this very often even if I did have fun."

Everyone laughed and Sam said, "Don't worry Bella. We don't go out every weekend. You'll soon see that the professors will start dumping on the work soon. They want us to get as much out of this semester as possible and with all of the holidays this semester it's like they try and make up for all the days we won't be in classes."

We entered the house and Anne and Sam said goodnight and headed upstairs. Drake and Roxanne decided to head into the common room and talk for a little while before heading to bed themselves. Deciding to give them some time alone, I kissed Roxanne on the cheek and told them I was exhausted and heading up to bed.

Entering the room, I smiled. As much as I was brought along kicking and screaming the whole way, it really was fun. As I was getting dressed for bed, I realized I was too keyed up to sleep. I climbed into bed anyway and briefly wondered what happened with Ian. Maybe he really was tired, but if he was so tired where did he get so much energy to practically run back to the house. It would have been nice to spend a few more minutes with him to at least say goodnight.

As I lay in my bed I was thinking about what a full day it had been. I found it confusing that I could go from really enjoying myself to being homesick, back to having a great time. I missed Jake, but he never would have gone dancing, we would have probably walked around or sat out on the deck just enjoying the evening. My life in Burlington was so far removed from my life in Forks, I almost felt like a completely different person. I closed my eyes and started drifting off.

* * *


	13. Digging In

**Digging In**

**Stephenie Meyer is still the genius behind Twilight!**

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BPOV

The next day I woke up early and headed down to the study room, fortunately I was up so early no one else was there. I had plenty of homework to get through and decided to work on the material that was easiest and save the challenging work for last. A true procrastinator always knows how to schedule their work.

I was working for several hours and barely noticed that the house was beginning to come to life. Leaning back in my chair I rubbed my eyes, I still had several hours ahead of me but I was beginning to get hungry. The smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen was making my stomach growl; I decided to at least make myself a pop tart or something. Leaving my books and laptop on the desk, I went into the kitchen to take a break.

The gang was sitting around the table, reading the paper and just generally enjoying a leisurely Sunday morning. Coffee, I thought, that's what I need. Caffeine will help me get through the rest of this day. Sitting down with a cup of coffee, I wrapped my hands around it and dazed off into space. I wasn't really thinking of anything in particular I was just drifting.

"Hello, earth to Bella…" leaning towards me from across the table, Anne smiled. "Are you okay, you seemed pretty far away?"

"Oh…I'm fine. I've been up for a couple of hours getting through this weeks study assignments. When my eyes started burning and my stomach started growling I figured it was time for a break." I put my head down on the table.

"Poor Bella" Drake chuckled. "I'm telling you, get used to this, otherwise finals are going to kill you."

I stuck my tongue out at him and said, "You keep telling me that, you're really starting to get on my nerves. Are you trying to put me in a panic and get me to drop out?" I picked my head up and looked around the table. Everyone was there except Roxanne. "Hey Drake, what did you do to my roommate last night, she's still in bed."

He just shrugged his shoulders and smiled a sly smile. "If I tell you, I'll have to kill you. Besides I'll get a reputation for being a gossip, you'll have to ask her."

Ian hadn't looked up from his newspaper yet and I was beginning to wonder if I had done something to make him mad. I sat there with my head on my arms on the table wondering what I could have done. We were having a good time last night and then he just rushed off. Now I think I'm getting the cold shoulder. I looked at the others at the table, everyone had just gone back to what they were doing before I came in. Maybe this was just how he was in the morning.

"Well, I'm going wake up Rox, I'm sure she'll give me the juicy details." I stomped out of the kitchen. I really should get back to my work; if I got it done early maybe I could relax on the patio this afternoon. But I really wanted to know what happened between Drake and Roxanne; I also wanted to know if she knew what was up with Ian.

I opened our door very slowly and sure enough there she was, all curled up in bed. No way, she wasn't going to sleep the day away. Grabbing her blankets, I pulled them all the way off her and yanked on her feet, getting them to the floor.

"What are you doing?" she screeched. "Do you want to die?"

"What is it with you and Drake wanting to kill me, have I done something to either of you to cause such a drastic reaction" I laughed as I flopped down on my bed. "Okay, give me the details and don't leave anything out."

"Why Bella, what kind of girl do you think I am?" She looked at me with a big grin and pulled herself back into bed wrapping her arms around herself. She looked so happy something must have happened.

"Come on, out with it. You wouldn't hold out on me would you?" I batted my eyes at her, "I'm your best friend in the whole wide world, aren't I?"

She really did look happy, there was a glow on her face as she turned to look at me. "Bella, he's great. We had such a nice night. When we were dancing he kept touching me as if to gently lead me to keep pace with his moves. It was so sensual, yet casual." I was right she was glowing; she couldn't keep the enormous grin off her face.

"When we came back here, we sat on the couch until four o'clock this morning just talking. He held me in his arms while I leaned back against his chest and we just talked." She let out a big sigh, "It was wonderful. We told each other about our families, our childhoods, our viewpoints on college and careers…" She had this far away look while she was telling me everything like she was reliving every moment.

I was so happy for her, I jumped up from my bed and pulled her out of hers, giving her a hug. "Rox, that's great. I told you it would work out. I knew you two were right for each other."

"Yeah, but it's early. You know how relationships are, they're great in the beginning and then they just fizzle out," she said sitting down again. "I really don't want him to get tired of me. It's not like I have a great track record you know. Remember the stories I told you?" She was starting to wring her hands in worry. Typical Rox, once again chasing away dragons that didn't exist.

I grabbed her hands, "Roxanne, your only a couple of hours into this relationship. Give yourself a break and enjoy it." Listen to me giving relationship advice, what right did I have. After all, I only had one relationship and look where that landed me…nearly in a coma. I probably wasn't the best person to give her advice on relationships or advice on Drake for that matter. It would make more sense for her to talk to Anne about this; maybe she could convince her that it was a good thing she and Drake were together.

"Look Roxanne, I'm not really that experienced at relationships and I barely know Drake. What I do know is the way he looks at you and the way he looked this morning" I said sitting on her bed.

"What do you mean? You saw him this morning? Oh my God what did he say to you?" She was in a panic, I needed to get her to calm down, she was pacing our small room running her hands through her hair like a crazy woman.

"Roxanne" I said trying to sound stern. "Stop making something out of nothing. He didn't say anything, he just looked really happy." I smiled at her trying to ease her mind. "Maybe what you need is a good talk with Anne, she knows him pretty well. Perhaps she can tell you what he's thinking or at least her perspective of what he's thinking."

She calmed down a little bit and sat on the edge of her bed. "I'm not sure I want to talk to Anne about this. What if she doesn't think I'm good enough for him?" There she goes again, full of self-doubt and imagining the worst.

"Rox, I think you'll probably feel better if you talked to her. You know that Anne is fair, look how she dealt with the Derrick situation. She never told the guys what happened because she thought it would upset me. As close as she is to them, she still considered my feelings on the matter." I looked at her, pleading with her.

"Okay, okay. Maybe later, right now I just want to take a shower and grab something to eat." She went to her dresser and started taking out her clothes, I figured now was as good a time as any to ask about Ian.

"Hey, did you guys…um…talk about Ian last night?" I didn't want to sound like I was anxious, even though I was beginning to be. Getting up from her bed, I made myself busy by making my own bed so I wouldn't have to look at her.

"No, he never came up, why?"

"No reason, I just thought it was really odd the way he took off last night." I had finished making my bed and moved over to the window gazing out at the scenery.

"Oh, I could ask Drake if he knows, if you want."

"No" I said a little too quickly. I turned back around and smiled at her, "I was just curious that's all. Hurry up, it's nearly lunch time," I laughed. "I'm heading back down to the study room, my break is officially over.

As she was entering the bathroom, she stopped and said, "Don't say anything to anyone, okay?"

"My lips are sealed." With that I walked out and headed back downstairs.

Heading back into the study room, I noticed there were a few more people focused on getting their work done. I quickly went over to my table and reviewed what I had accomplished. Most of my work was complete except my homework in Integrating Technology. Oh how I hated this course, but it was part of the mandatory curriculum so I didn't have much choice. There was no way I could drop it and still keep up with my major. The professor was great but I just didn't have a good handle on technology. I was barely able to figure out how to text on my cell phone.

Letting out a deep sigh, I sat down and began reading the materials that were covered in class. It might as well have been a foreign language as far as I was concerned. None of it made any sense to me. I looked up just in time to see Ian enter the room while reading a book; he looked around, saw me and quickly turned and left.

What was going on with him? I knew I wasn't imagining this, he was avoiding me. I decided to pack up the homework for now and join Roxanne for breakfast. After all, it's not like I could focus with this on my mind.

Even though Roxanne said she didn't know anything, maybe Anne or Drake might know, maybe they were in the kitchen. What was I doing? Why did I care what he thought? One minute I'm worried he's feeling too much for me and the next I'm worried I may have offended him. I was always giving off the wrong signals. No wonder Jake couldn't move on. I shook my head to clear it, what was I doing?

I got upstairs just as Roxanne was leaving the room, "Hey, wait for me. I just want to put my things in the room."

"Sure. Did you get all your work done?"

Throwing my things on the desk, I turned and walked out of the room, "No, I still haven't figured out what my assignment is for Integrating Technology. It's torture; I don't know how I'm going to make it through the semester. I can't figure out what's going on and it's only the first week."

We were headed downstairs and working our way towards the kitchen when I saw Ian going into the kitchen. Good maybe I'd be able to figure out if I did something or if I'm imagining the way he's acting.

Roxanne was walking through the kitchen door when she turned to me and said, "Hey maybe Drake could help you. His major is Electronic Games and Interactive Development, he's sure to know how to help."

"Now what are you volunteering me for?" Drake had a huge grin plastered on his face when he saw Roxanne.

Blushing Roxanne said coyly, "Not volunteering exactly. It's just that Bella is struggling with her assignment in Integrating Technology and knowing you're a whiz in technology I thought she should ask for your help."

I had never seen this side of Roxanne she actually looked shy. It was actually kind of cute, but I really liked her strong side better. Maybe after talking with Anne she'd see that everything was going to be okay and get back to being the strong person I was used to.

Sitting down at the table, I turned to Drake, "It's no big deal, I want to try and figure this out by myself, or at least try one more time before I hold up the white flag. I'm really stubborn and know if I just set my mind to it I'll figure it out."

The whole time we were talking Ian was just sitting at the table doing the Sunday crossword. He never looked up; it was as if we weren't even in the room. The worst part was, neither Roxanne nor Drake seemed to notice how distant he was being. Had I entered a third dimension? I know I didn't really know any of these people, but this was such a disconnect from the guy who danced with me last night. I let out a big sigh and pouted.

Drake and Roxanne started laughing at the same time. "Bella, if you need help, I'll help. You don't have to pout," Drake said as he came over and patted me on the head.

They had no idea that my reaction was due to Ian's behavior. So I decided to let them think that, "No, it's okay. Seriously I want to give it at least one more shot. It's not like you'll be able to sit in on my finals with me. And you are the person who keeps reminding me of finals so let me try. I'll find you if I need help."

"Whatever. If that's what you want, I'll be around all day. I've got some work of my own to get done." He turned to Roxanne, kissed her on the cheek and left the room. She was glowing again. Although I was happy for her, I didn't think I'd be able to take all the mood swings this girl was having.

All of a sudden Ian stood up and walked out of the room, never saying a word. Seriously, what was up with him! I was going to have to find out soon or it would drive me nuts.

"How about some eggs and bacon? I'm starving, I've been up several hours and knocked out some of my homework, so why don't you sit while I make us breakfast." Maybe if I cooked I'd either figure out what was going on or distract myself to the point of not caring.

"Great, I'd like to sit here and just daydream anyway." She sat down with her coffee and got that far away look again.

"Roxanne, you really need to snap out of this. It's great that you're feeling the way you are, but you need to focus so you can get your assignments done. Tomorrow is Monday and you haven't cracked a book all weekend." My back was to her as I was making the eggs and bacon, so I turned and she smiled at me.

"I know, I know. I promise right after breakfast I'll get back to being me. He's just so great, I can't help feeling sappy right now."

"Fine, you get to day dream all you want during breakfast, but that's it for the rest of the day."

After breakfast we cleaned up our dishes while she filled me in on some more details of her evening with Drake. They had so much in common that it just made sense they'd be attracted to one another. Reaching the decision that I wasn't going to be able to focus on my assignment with Ian on my mind, I made the decision to work on it later.

I ran upstairs and grabbed my book, with a beautiful day like today the deck was just calling to me to come outside and read. Maybe this would be the distraction I'd need to get Ian's odd behavior out of my mind. Stepping outside on the deck, I plopped in one of the chaise lounges and started reading. It really was a perfect afternoon, the sun was high in the sky and the temperature was about sixty-five degrees. This was so relaxing I sat back and put my book on my chest while closing my eyes.

Soon I heard the sliding glass door open. I opened my eyes and looked in the direction of the door, it was Ian coming outside. He hadn't seen me yet, so this would be interesting. I kept looking at him and finally he saw me. He looked around on the deck like he was looking for something and then started heading back inside again.

That was it; I was through with this, "Ian, can I talk to you for a minute."

He stopped in mid stride, his hand on the handle of the door. After a brief pause, he turned and looked at me without moving a step towards me. "Sure, what's up?"

"Well for starters, you don't have to stand in the doorway while I'm trying to speak with you. If you don't mind I prefer not to yell over to you. Can you come over here?" I pointed to the chair next to my lounge chair.

It was as if he needed to think about it for a minute and then he came over and sat down, but he never looked at me. "Well, I'm here, what's up?"

Wow, he really was mad. "I was just wondering did I do something to offend you? Last night I thought we were having a good time and then at the end of the night you practically took off in a sprint." I was tilting my head so that he had to make eye contact with me, but he just kept looking down at his hands.

He sighed and said, "No, you didn't do anything. I was just…well, I needed to get back to call my family." Huh, it was after midnight when we left the club, why would he need to call his family at that hour. He was lying to me, but why?

"Oh, okay, so we're good then. No problems?"

"Yup, we're good. No problems…" he said almost in a whisper.

I reached over and touched his arm, "Are you sure, because you're acting like I did something. If I did, then I apologize now, even though I don't know what I'm apologizing for," I said chuckling.

He finally looked at me, "No need to apologize Bella, you didn't do anything. We're great, I promise." He tried to smile at that point, but it wasn't his usual smile. It was sad somehow, like I had hurt him in some way and he didn't want me to know. I knew by the look on his face that he wasn't going to give me any more information, so I decided to drop it.

I looked out at the mountain range and sighed. "Great, then I guess we're good." I closed my eyes and let the sun warm my face. He stood up to go but didn't move immediately. Then I heard him walking away and into the house.

Whatever it was, it upset him pretty badly and I was determined to find out more. I would let it go for now, but there was no way I was letting this fester one more day. The problem was figuring out how to find out what was wrong. I knew I was going to need everyone's help in solving this little mystery. Maybe later, for now the sun was too nice and it was making me drowsy.

* * *


	14. Tutoring

**Tutoring**

**No, I still don't own the rights to anything related to Twilight!**

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BPOV

It was early evening when I woke up. Looking around, trying to get my bearings I realized that I had slept the whole afternoon away. Ah crap, I didn't want to do that. I really wanted to get some things done before classes started tomorrow.

I looked around as I stretched and yawned, why was it so quiet, where was everyone? Slowly rising from the lounge chair I walked towards the door. As I looked into the adjoining room, I saw two people on the couch playing Wii, but no sign of my friends.

Making my way towards the front of the house, I peeked in the study room and saw Roxanne with her face screwed up in concentration, deeply engrossed in her studies. I walked upstairs, entered our room and sat on my bed. Maybe a shower would help clear the fog my brain was in from my nap. I grabbed a change of clothes, heading into the shower.

As I was showering my mind was a buzz of any number of things that I had to address. Ian… my assignment for Integrating Technology…getting a job…my birthday, at that last thought my mind stopped reeling to dwell on that thought for a few minutes.

The dreaded day was two weeks away, I knew I needed to keep Roxanne from finding out it was my birthday otherwise she might make a big deal of it. As far back as I could remember I always hated my birthday, but now I didn't just hate it, I despised it. The date was just a prelude to another date I didn't want to face! It was hard to believe that it would be a full year now since 'he' disappeared.

As I was drying my hair, I thought about everything that had happened over this past year.

It took months for me to start talking to anyone, much less conducting myself as a living breathing person. Then the voice in my head started which caused Jake and I to become friends. He was the one person who was able to get through to me and get me to the point of actually appearing like I was over 'him'. I looked into the mirror and stared at my face. No, I had to push these thoughts away. This was not the time to dwell in this dark place.

Shaking my head to clear it of those thoughts I decided it was time to grab dinner. Maybe Roxanne would be ready to take a break for an hour or two and then we could both settle in and get more studying done. My classes on Monday didn't start until ten, so I could get some things done in the morning as well. A job…a job… my thoughts kept repeating as I headed down the steps.

I peeked my head into the study room and whistled to Roxanne. "Hey, wake up. Stop acting like you're engrossed in that. Let's get something to eat."

She leaned back in her chair smiling at me, "So Sleeping Beauty awakes!" She stood up closing her laptop, "If you hadn't woken up in about fifteen minutes, I was going to search the house for Prince Charming to come and rescue you" she started chuckling.

For studying all afternoon she was pretty cheerful. "So Wolfgang, what's for dinner?" You did so well with breakfast, I'm hoping you have a heart and take pity on me because while you were napping, I was hard at work'' she said while putting her arm around my shoulder.

I smiled at her, "No way, you are not getting out of helping tonight. If I cooked then we'd be setting a precedent, and there's no way I'm becoming your personal chef."

The kitchen was empty and as I was looking through the cabinets, she started rummaging through the refrigerator. "Well, the cupboards are bare, the only thing left from my trip to the store is another jar of spaghetti sauce and some pasta. Sooo…looks like you're the cook tonight. You need to practice opening jars anyway, I think you're getting rusty!" I teased her as we continued looking through the cabinets in the hopes of finding something better.

We worked together to cook our meal and as we ate, we talked about our assignments and what we had to accomplish this week. I told her I really needed to find a job, cash was quickly becoming a problem and there was no way I was going to rely on Renee or Charlie. We decided we would meet after her last class tomorrow and head to the student center to see if there were any job postings that would fit my course schedule. Afterwards we could head to the store to stock up on food.

"Okay, I think I've procrastinated enough. I really have to knuckle under and get to the Integrated Technology assignment. It's due on Tuesday and I think it's going to take me that long to decipher what needs to get done." I said dramatically. "I'll be right back I just need to get my laptop and books."

Once I was settled in at a table in the study room, I quickly scanned the assignment again. There was just no use I wasn't getting this. I had to adopt a software program that interfaced with the computer and a smart board. My project required that I write an assignment for a class room and have it interface with all of the components. I sighed, put my elbows on the table and my head in my hands just staring at the computer screen.

My face was scrunched up as if squinting would help me understand the project. All of a sudden I heard laughing and I looked over my laptop screen to see Ian in the doorway grinning at me.

"What's so funny?" I asked innocently, thinking 'wow' talk about Jekyll and Hyde.

"You Bella; your face, as you were staring at your screen, it was classic. Do you always make that face when doing class assignments?" he teased me while heading over to see what it was I was so focused on. "Oh, the subject that is quickly becoming your favorite course. Well, then I'll leave you to it." He began sauntering off.

"Wait" I yelled. "Uncle, I give up! I can't do it! I'm helpless, okay? The white flag has officially been raised. I need help and since you laughed at me, you get to help" I grinned and gave him my best flirting face.

He laughed, "Well, that face is definitely a much better one than the one earlier and since you admitted defeat…I guess I could give you a few pointers." Pulling a chair alongside me, he began to show me what the assignment was all about.

Being the student that tends to zone out if the subject matter isn't interesting, I started thinking about his abrupt change in attitude. One day he's happy and playful, the next he's shutting me down completely, then he's extremely sad and now he's helping me with homework with natural ease! What could possibly cause this erratic behavior? Could I be right, was I the cause, or maybe it was something else that I had no business interfering with.

I began noticing his features, he had really nice hair; it was a bit wavy and had subtle highlights at the tips. The highlights were natural though as if the summer sun had kissed them. And his eyes, a person could get lost in those green eyes.

He was talking to me as I was studying his face and he probably thought I was listening intently, but that was not the case at all. I was starting to see Ian in a whole different light. This couldn't be good; I really should try and focus on his instructions. Class was Tuesday and I couldn't very well tell the professor 'sorry, I got distracted by a guy in my house as he was tutoring me and I didn't listen to a word he was saying because he was too cute'. Focus Bella…focus.

"Okay, so does any of that help?" he asked as he finished. Ut oh, busted. I hadn't heard a word he said, I was too busy checking him out.

"Kinda...I guess. Maybe you should go through it one more time." I said with as much conviction as I could. This time I really had to listen.

After we finished with the assignment, I did have a better understanding of what was needed. I sat back in my chair and grinned, I felt a hundred percent better. At least, I didn't have to worry about class on Tuesday. "Thank you, I can't thank you enough. I know I'm gushing here but seriously this class intimidates me," I said dramatically.

"No problem, don't worry about it, you'll catch on. Especially if Drake and I are here to help you with the assignments, but…" he reached over and lightly touched the tip of my nose, "you need to pay better attention when someone tutors you" he laughed lightly while standing up.

I blushed a deep red mumbling..."I was paying attention, it's just a little confusing."

"Bella, I saw your eyes glaze over when I first started showing you what to do. What were you thinking about, because it certainly wasn't the instructions I was giving." He leaned back against the table folding his arms across his chest and waited for my answer.

"Nothing, I was…thinking…how, um…" I stuttered trying to think of something. "how much easier class would be if you were teaching it." Phew, that might be believable.

"Uh huh, whatever" he said while rolling his eyes. "Well, I need a beer, you're not the easiest person to tutor." He headed towards the door and I watched him leaving still wondering what was up with him. Just as I had committed to myself earlier, I wasn't going to bed tonight until I knew what was going on with him.

I packed up my things and went to Roxanne's table to see if she was making any progress. "Hey, how's it going? Are you almost done?"

"Nope, I've got a couple of more hours here. My business course requires that I create a fictitious company for the semester and I'm on a roll here." She said as she highlighted a paragraph in her textbook.

"Okay then. Good night." I grabbed my things and walked towards the common room, knowing I would find Ian in there, or at least hoping he was in there. Sure enough he was sitting by the fireplace, drinking his beer just staring into space.

Setting my stuff down by the chair facing his, I plopped down so as to break his concentration. I smiled at him and said, "So does the beer help?"

"Help?" he asked confused.

"To dull the pain from teaching a complete idiot!" I said with exaggeration.

He laughed, "Bella, you're not a bad student. You just need to focus." He looked down at his beer and then looked up again, "aren't you heading up to bed?"

"No, my first class isn't until ten, so I thought I'd join you."

"But you don't have a beer. Would you like me to get you one?" He smiled as he moved forward on the chair in an attempt to get me one.

"That's okay, but you could do me a favor…" I said nervously. It's now or never, I just had to dive in. This was not the time to falter. He sat back in his chair, "What is it Bella?" there was a tone of caution in his voice as he answered me.

"Well, I was wondering if you would be honest and tell me why your attitude towards me has been doing flips all day" I said as I nervously picked at the fabric on the chair.

He looked at me for a couple of seconds and then sighed deeply. I didn't think I was going to get an answer because he was quiet from some time. Then finally, "When you went to the ladies room last night, Roxanne had a talk with me."

Now he had my complete and undivided attention, I was looking at him confused. "A talk, what did she say?"

He hesitated. This must have been some talk; I couldn't imagine what Roxanne could have said that caused him to react so strongly. My heart rate was speeding up and I felt my palms sweating, what was it that was making him so hesitant.

"She told me that you had been through a lot before coming to school and someone in your life hurt you badly. She said you were in a delicate state and I would probably be a very bad influence in your life right now. She's afraid you are very close to a breakdown and wants me to keep my distance." He looked at me studying my face. "Roxanne loves you Bella, she only wants the best for you. She's afraid I'll hurt you, in fact she thinks if I get involved with you right now, it could be the worst thing for you." He paused and waited for me to say something, but I couldn't…I was speechless.

How could she do this to me, this was none of her business, she barely knows me. The worst of it was, she doesn't even know my story, also I never told her I had an interest in Ian. So once again, Roxanne was jumping to conclusions, only this time it was about me! I felt my anger rising as my face was getting red, but I still couldn't speak.

"Bella, I don't want to hurt you, I've been attracted to you from the moment I saw you on the stairs. I'm sorry for telling you this, but my behavior today, I hope is an indicator of just how much you mean to me. If staying away is good for you then I'll stay away. But after this afternoon, I went up to my room and thought about everything Roxanne said." He sighed and took a sip of his beer.

He looked up at the ceiling before continuing, "It doesn't seem like you want me to stay away. So I'm conflicted, should I stay away or do you want me to be someone in your life?" He said with overwhelming sincerity.

We sat there in silence for several minutes, I knew he was waiting for an answer from me, but I was still unable to speak. I was looking down at the floor and wringing my hands, what was I going to tell him. I couldn't tell him what I had been through. But he had to understand I was trying my best to create a future and forget the past. The question was, is he a part of that future? I didn't know, how could I know that! All I knew was today while he was giving me the cold shoulder it hurt, not the hurt I felt when 'he' left, but a tugging on my heart all the same.

I looked up at him, he had his head down looking at his beer. His shoulders were hunched over as he was sorting through his own thoughts. I had to say something. "Ian, wow…I'm sorry." At this point he looked up at me and began to interrupt, "It's okay, no problem Bella, I understand…"

"No, wait. You didn't let me finish. I'm sorry Roxanne took it upon herself to tell you those things. She really had no right. It's not up to her who I become friends with or anything else for that matter. I'm not going to tell you I'm ready to date anyone, because I'm not. But Ian, I don't want you to stay away from me, I enjoy our friendship." I smiled at him trying to reassure him.

He kept his eyes on my face as I continued. "If anyone stands to get hurt here, it's you. I've known you had an interest in me but I also know that I'm not ready for anything more than friendship. So the decision is yours, not mine. How do you feel about hanging out with me knowing you have feelings I can't return?" I looked him right in the eyes so he could see that I was very serious.

During my speech, he kept his eyes on mine and his face was very serious. When I finished, he smiled and I could see his whole body relax. "Thank you," he said, although it was more of a sigh than a statement. His whole demeanor was changing right before my eyes. I couldn't help it, I felt myself smiling back at him.

"You're welcome, but for what?"

"You have no idea the struggle I've been going through since Roxanne told me that last night. I didn't know how I should act around you," he said as he drained his beer. "I feel like celebrating now.

"Look we don't have to be anything more than friends for now, I want nothing more from you than what you are willing to share. If over the course of time, our relationship develops into something more than great, but honestly all I really want is to get to know you better." He smiled and held up his beer as if to toast to the statement.

I was grinning like a fool. This had gone so much better than I anticipated. Not only had I cleared up the mystery of Ian, but I also clarified my position on not being ready for a relationship. The best thing that had come from our conversation was, now I had a friendship that I would treasure.

"Good, I'm glad we've cleared the air. I feel so much better knowing we're good again." He and I both smiled knowing that I was referring to this afternoon's conversation. "Now I can go to bed!" With that I stood, grabbed my things and leaned down and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you again for your help with my assignment."

I walked out of the room, but before heading upstairs I had one little matter to clear up. My new best friend needed to understand she over stepped her boundaries. I marched into the study room and walked right over to her table. I reached down, grabbed her by her shirt and pulled her to her feet. I knew lifting her from her chair would not have been possible under normal conditions, but because I was so angry and took her by surprise, I did it with ease.

"Who gave you the right to speak to Ian about my feelings?" I said furiously. She just studied my face and seemed to crumble in my grasp.

"Let me explain, please?" she whined.

* * *


	15. Employment

**Employment**

**No, I still don't own the rights to anything related to Twilight!**

* * *

BPOV

Dropping my hand, I released her as I looked into her eyes, my anger started to flair again. "Bella, please let me explain", she pleaded with me.

I turned from her and started walking from the room. As much as I thought I wanted to confront her, after looking in her eyes I determined now was not the time. All I really wanted was get away from her at that moment. As angry as I was at her, I didn't think speaking with her would be good for either of us. I was sure I would say something out of anger that would make this situation spiral out of control.

As I was leaving the room, she shouted, "Bella please, let me explain. I didn't mean any harm, it's important that you understand." She was rushing towards me and reached out to grab me. I spun on my heels and glared at her. She stopped in her tracks and whispered, "Please."

"Don't come near me right now. This," I said as I fanned my arms around the room, "is not where I would like to have this discussion. The best thing for me to do right now is get some air and you are not invited," I hissed at her. Without waiting for her to answer, I turned and walked out of the room.

Walking out of the house having no idea where I was headed may not have been such a good idea, but I couldn't go to my room. I knew Roxanne would just follow and I had to think about everything Ian had told me. Walking always helped me to clear the chaos, especially when I was angry.

How could she have stepped on my trust? No, that's not even correct, how could she have jumped to so many conclusions. She didn't know a thing about my past yet she felt the need to warn Ian that I was, what did he say, 'delicate…on the verge of a breakdown'. Not only that, she didn't even have enough faith in me to allow me to handle my own relationships. She felt compelled to step in and talk about things even though she didn't have all the facts. Maybe she wasn't the person I thought she was. Ugh, I hated not trusting her, it frustrated me, and it hurt me.

I had no idea where I was walking I was so caught up in my thoughts. Looking around I realized I was already down by the student center. I decided to go inside and sit, my anger was starting to subside the walk had at least tired me; it hadn't quite fully calmed me down yet though.

Sitting in one of the chairs I looked around the room. There were still several people in the center, playing ping-pong, reading, or just hanging out with friends. Being here I realized, all I wanted to do was be in my bed with the covers pulled over my head. But this wasn't an option, I knew if I returned now, Roxanne would want to address our fight and I wasn't ready yet.

Staring off into space, I began thinking through why I was so angry. I knew it wasn't just because of Roxanne's actions. In my heart I knew that her motives were based in love, she was only trying to protect me. If I really thought about it, she was only reacting the way I had seen her react to several things during the short period of time we had become friends. It was as if Roxanne acted before she thought through all of the consequences. I chuckled to myself at that thought, we weren't so different in that respect, the difference being I would never be as outspoken as she had been with someone else's feelings.

One of the things nagging at the back of my mind was why I had reacted so severely. In thinking clearly I could see that I had overreacted and was making this bigger than it had to be. Was it truly all about Roxanne, or was there something else. If I were honest with myself, I'd admit that it was because she had disclosed this information to Ian. I wasn't even given the opportunity to work through my own feelings and now Ian knew there was something from my past that I hadn't completely dealt with.

I was just beginning to feel normal and then this had to happen, I had to work this out before heading back, otherwise Roxanne and my relationship would always have something hanging over it.

Things had actually turned out great between Ian and I, so what was making my anger flare. I heard someone clearing their throat next to me; I looked up and saw Anne standing next to my chair. "Hey, I saw you sitting over here and thought you might appreciate some company," she said as she took a seat next to me.

I nodded my head and then just looked into my lap. I wasn't really up for company right now, but since I had no idea whether or not she knew what happened back at the house, I decided to let her stay. Sighing I looked at her, "So why are you at the center? Is Sam here with you?"

"Nope, I decided to take a walk." She was looking around the room and turned to me smiling. "So anything good happening here?"

Looking around again I noticed that the center was nearly empty. There were only two guys still playing ping-pong. "Yeah, can't you tell? Me and the boys are preparing to have a tournament, what do you think, want to be my partner?" I said sarcastically. Regretting that immediately, I looked at her and smiled shyly. "Sorry, that was uncalled for."

"No harm, no foul" she shrugged her shoulders. She just sat there watching the guys playing without saying a word. When she first came over I thought she may have been unaware of what happened, but apparently I was wrong. Someone had clued her into the argument; she was just waiting for me to bring the topic up. I immediately started feeling like I was being manipulated. If she knew what was going on, why wasn't she saying anything.

My anger started rising again. "Anne what are you doing here?" I said with a little too much acid in my tone. I couldn't help it, this whole evening it felt like everyone was playing games with me. Ian, Roxanne, and now Anne…

Taking in a deep breath, she looked at me and said, "Look, Roxanne came to me and told me what happened. I don't want to intrude; it's up to you if you want to tell me your side. But being the RA I couldn't just let you roam around campus on your own so late at night."

She was staring at me intently and then she looked down at her hands, "Bella, I know being so far from home and meeting new people is hard. In the years that I've been living in a college dorm, I've hardly ever encountered two people that got along as easily as you and Roxanne have. You have the great beginnings of a strong friendship, do you really want to throw all that away over one fight?" She gazed at me waiting for me to answer.

"No, of course not. I'm not that dramatic, I just wanted to walk off my anger and think through a few things. I'm sorry I was so short with you, I don't know what's wrong with me." I said as I leaned forward in my chair and put my head in my hands.

"Well, it doesn't appear as if sitting here is helping, so why not come back to the house." She stood up and held out her hand for me. "Maybe a good night's sleep will help." She wiggled her fingers in my face, to get me to take her hand.

Sighing, I took her hand and we headed for home. We walked in silence until I said, "Anne, I'm really sorry. She smiled at me and said, "Don't worry about it. Come on, you really need some sleep."

When I got to the room, I took a deep breath before entering. Roxanne wasn't in the room thank goodness; I really didn't have the energy to go another round. Pulling my pajamas out, I ducked into the bathroom and changed. Practically crawling to my bed, I pulled my iPod and ear buds out, the only thing that would help me sleep at this point was the sweet sounds of piano chords in my ears. I was soon drifting off all while thinking about how things had taken a turn very quickly.

When I woke up the next morning, I immediately turned to see if Roxanne was in her bed. She had already left, ah that's right she had an eight thirty class. I wouldn't be seeing her until we met at the student center later in the afternoon. This wasn't good; I hadn't intended to let a whole day go without addressing this. Once again, I screwed up. Throwing my covers off, I headed towards the shower.

The feel of the water on my skin was doing wonders for my tension. Things with Roxanne would work out; I had confidence that this wouldn't get out of hand. After all, I had worked things out with Ian even though I hadn't had a clue what the problem had been initially. At least, I knew what the problem was in this case; I just had to speak with Roxanne to work it out.

Classes went pretty quickly and I was standing at the student center checking out the board when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned to see Roxanne standing there looking very apologetic. I smiled shyly at her, reached out to her and pulled her into a hug. "Hey, I'm really sorry about last night. I didn't mean to cause such a problem…"

She pulled away from me saying, "Bella, you didn't cause a problem, so stop beating yourself up. I was stupid; I shouldn't have destroyed your trust in me. Sometimes, I don't know, I say things that I shouldn't. Do you forgive me?" she said with so much sincerity.

"Of course, Rox. Here sit, talk to me." Pulling her over to a chair we sat down. "I overreacted last night, but I still want you to tell me what compelled you to talk to him. I'm ready to hear your explanation," I said carefully.

"Well, you know how you talk in your sleep," she said glancing at me shyly. Oh no, what did I say now. "The talking is getting worse Bella. Although I'm willing to wait for you to feel comfortable enough to talk to me about whatever happened to you, I felt I should at least protect you from anyone else who might hurt you. I'm sorry I know it's not my place, but I'm worried about you Bella. You need to talk to someone about whatever happened." She blurted out.

"Rox, I'm not sure what to say." I was looking at my hands hesitating before beginning again. "I do know that when I'm ready to tell you I will and you can't rush it. Believe me when I tell you, I'm not on the verge of a breakdown, I know that for a fact." I said with conviction. "You have to allow me to make my own decisions, whether you agree with them or not. Part of being my friend, or anyone's friend for that matter is giving them the space to make their own mistakes." I smiled at her and continued, "Your job as my friend is to be by my side, no matter how stupid I get." With that I gave her a big grin.

She pouted, "Fine, but you may have to remind me to back off every once in awhile and not get too upset with me when I revert to my old habits. I don't want to have another evening like last night."

"No problem, I'll make sure I let you know when you become too overprotective. Now come on, I saw a posting for a job I want to check out." I grabbed her hand and pulled her from the chair.

"Really, what job? Where is it?" She grabbed the slip of paper I was holding from my hand. "Oh Bella, this is perfect for you, come on…we have to move quickly. This job won't be open forever." She started pulling me forward practically running.

"Whoa, slow down. I don't want to get there out of breath and sweaty. I think we can slow down the pace a little and still get there" I chuckled.

As we walked she told me about her evening with Drake and how he was so great about comforting her. She wound up staying down on the couch in the common room because she knew that I wanted my space. I really felt bad about that and told her not to let my feelings ever make her feel she's not welcome in her own room.

I needed to find out what I had been saying in my sleep, but knew if I brought the subject up again, it would only worry her. So I let it lie for now, I was worried I may be saying something that she really shouldn't hear. What if in my sleep I talked about werewolves or vampires. Wait a minute; I was being stupid if I did say anything about werewolves or vampires she would figure it was part of the dream. No one knew their secrets, it's not like I was saying it out loud while I was awake. If I was saying anything about mythical creatures while sleeping no one would believe it had anything to do with reality, so the secrets were still safe. My promise wasn't broken.

Finally arriving at Church Street we quickly found the place I needed to be, North Country Books. It was everything I could ever dream for a bookstore it was huge. It had new and used books and there were so many, it looked like thousands, this was where I wanted to work. Of course I could probably get a job at one of those mass merchandiser bookstores, but this was so much better this bookstore had character. Just walking in the door you could smell old books; the leather bound volumes…the ink. I was grinning from ear to ear.

While I was looking around with wonder, Roxanne had stepped up to the counter showing the paper that advertised for help. The man behind the counter said, "So are you the applicant?"

"Oh no sir. That would be my friend over here" she said as she turned and waved her arm in my direction. "She's just a little keyed up about your store," she said as she pulled me over to the counter.

I finally snapped out of it and smiled at the man. Extending my hand I said, "Good Afternoon, my name is Bella Swan and I'm here to apply for the open position."

"Bella, it's very nice to meet you. My name is John Garlette; I'm the owner of North Country Books. Why don't we step over here where you can fill out the paperwork and we can talk privately," he said as he stepped from behind the counter. We walked to the right side of the counter by one of the windows of the store and sat at a table. "Before you begin filling out the paperwork, why don't you tell me a few things about yourself," he said quietly.

We sat and talked for about an hour, after I told him about my background retail experience as well as my studies he explained to me what my responsibilities would comprise. If I were chosen to take the position, I would need to work the cash register and restock the shelves. Eventually he would teach me how to take orders from the Internet site and fulfill them. I was so excited, when he left me to fill out the application, I could barely fill it out in all my enthusiasm.

When I had completed the application, I went over to the desk to return the papers and say goodbye. We shook hands and he said, "Bella having you fill out the paperwork is a formality necessary for you to begin employment here," he smiled.

He hesitated watching my face as what he was saying registered. I started grinning and then shook his hand again. "This is wonderful John, when do I begin?"

"Well, as early as tomorrow if that's alright with you? I'll work out a schedule while you're in classes and we can review it when you come in. After we decide on the schedule, it will remain the same week after week; I prefer to know when to expect you so I can plan my calendar. Does this suit you?"

"Oh yes sir, that would be great. I'll be here by tomorrow at three," I said as I shook his hand once again.

I walked outside and looked up and down the street trying to locate Roxanne. She came running up and said excitedly, "Well?"

Jumping up and down and clapping I said, "I got it! I got the job!" We both stood there jumping up and down squealing. "Roxanne, I can't believe it, not only did I get a job, I got my dream job!"

"Let's go, we have to tell the others!" She pulled me into a hug and grabbed my arm as we started towards the house. It was a great afternoon, everything worked out better than I could have imagined.

* * *


	16. Making Amends

**Making Amends**

* * *

EPOV

Although our house was large and had plenty of open space there was much more to do than originally anticipated. We had spent our time landscaping the property, having the garages built and preparing the rooms for each of our family members. I hadn't left the property at all; Carlisle and I were too busy with the small details. Esme made sure that every day there was something to occupy our time. Carlisle expressed to me through his thoughts that he actually couldn't wait to return to work.

Today Jasper and Alice were to arrive. I was a bit on edge thinking about their return and Esme was doing her best to ease my nerves. "Edward you know that Alice loves you, so you shouldn't think that she'll be anything but her usual self."

"I know Esme, I also realize that we are overdue to discuss what took place last year. It's important that Alice and I resolve our differences on this subject. We can't be expected to spend eternity together if we don't settle this."

"I know Edward, knowing my children as well as I do, I also know that you are both loving and forgiving. Perhaps this is why I'm not as concerned about the outcome as you," she said with a smile.

"Well, we won't have long to find out, I hear them coming now." I could hear Alice's excited thoughts on how picturesque the island was as well as Jasper's thoughts of how beautiful she looked when she was excited. I smiled as I realized how much I really had missed my brother and sister. They suited each other perfectly, as highly-strung as Alice was Jasper was equally unflappable. I stood by the window to await they're arrival, I was anxious to see their reactions to our new home.

Esme and Carlisle joined me at the window. Within moments we were able to see the yellow Porsche coming up the driveway and made our way to the door to greet them properly. Just as Jasper had put the car in park, Alice bounded out the door and screamed, "Oh Esme, I love it, I mean I really love it. I think this is my favorite home out of all!" She was at our sides in a moment and had Esme in a tight hug.

Jasper had gotten out of the car to remove their many bags from the trunk and backseat. He looked in our direction grinning and shaking his head, "Alice, you say that with every new home."

Alice was too busy saying hello to Carlisle to give him an appropriate retort. She turned to me and hesitantly smiled. "Alice" I said calmly. "Edward…oh Edward" she gushed as she pulled me into a hug. "I've missed you so much. I'm so glad that you're here and we can spend some time together again." She pulled away and smiled her contagious smile.

Before Bella I was never a demonstrative person, my family knew that hugging and touching me was not off limits, but certainly not welcomed. Only Esme and Alice were able to touch me and that was on rare occasions. When Bella entered my life my family noticed the change in my attitude and took to teasing and touching me as they did one another. After leaving her, I was so distant that no one could come near me much less touch me. I was reserved now, back to my previous demeanor. When Alice hugged me, I didn't return the hug I patted her on the back. She just looked at me and smiled a sad smile before turning to see what was taking Jasper.

Jasper had come up the walk and stated, "I'd shake hands and exchange hugs, but it appears my wife has left me with the task of getting our things." Alice turned to him and stuck her tongue out. Yes, it was nice to have them back.

"Jasper let me help you. Are there any other bags in the car?" I asked as I patted him on the shoulder.

"No, the balance of Alice's new things will arrive in a few days. Next time we take a trip to New York remind me to rent a minivan. As much as I detest them, there is an advantage to all that storage space." We both chuckled at the thought.

"Jasper leave those bags at the door, I'd like to give you a tour of the house. Then you can get settled in, perhaps we can all go hunting together this evening" Esme said while smiling. She was so proud of her family and home it showed in her beaming face.

After taking the tour and getting the many bags settled in their room we all sat in the main room of the house to catch up on one another's activities since we were last together. New York City is Alice and Jasper's favorite city in the United States because there is so much for both of them to see and do. Hunting is easy enough as Connecticut, New Jersey and Upstate NY are so close to the city. Esme explained how she found the house, while Carlisle explained our few modifications since arriving. I was the only one in the room who had very little to contribute, although I was enjoying the company.

'_Edward, you know Alice is anxious to speak with you. It's all she could think about on our drive up. I'm not sure how you feel about speaking with her, but I hope you'll give her some time'_ Jasper thought. I nodded my head to let him know I agreed.

"Well, now that we've caught up and you've taken a tour of the house, why don't we give you some time to get settled." Carlisle stated. "I have some papers to review, I'll be starting at the hospital tomorrow."

"Emmett and Rosalie will be returning tomorrow as well." Esme said with a smile. It was her hearts desire to have the whole family together. "I'd like to get back to preparing their room. I've been busy making sure everyone's room is to their liking. So we'll hunt together this evening as a family?" she asked. It was more of a command than a question as she looked from Alice to me.

I nodded my head in agreement as Alice said, "Of course, Esme. In the meantime, Jasper and I will take a walk around the property while you and Carlisle are busy. We'll be back shortly." She stood and took Jasper's hand. "Edward, would you like to join us, you can show us some of the highlights?" she beamed while Jasper lightly nodded his head.

Stepping outside, I showed them the newly constructed garage and the paddocks for livestock. Jasper was interested in this area and began talking about how it would be great to get some horses. In his human life he was in the army and very familiar with horses and riding. He seemed to get energized about the prospect of maintaining livestock. I had my doubts that keeping livestock around so many vegetarian vampires would be a good idea and told him so. He shrugged his shoulders and said, "Perhaps we should try anyway, it would be interesting to see Emmett trying to ride at the very least," he said while chuckling. Both Alice and I started laughing at the thought. Perhaps getting a few horses would be entertaining after all.

We decided to explore the rest of the property while running. I showed them the lake and our dock area, as well as the many coves and entries into the forest grounds. The beauty of our new property overwhelmed them and we decided to sit on the beach to relax and enjoy the twilight.

Not long after Jasper stood looked deeply into Alice's eyes, turned to me while thinking, '_Edward I could stay if you think you'll need me for this discussion.'_ I turned to look at Alice; she had turned her attention to the mountain range in the distance, knowing that Jasper and I were communicating silently. Looking back at him, I nodded my head telling him to go.

After I could no longer hear his thoughts, I turned to Alice and studied her face for a moment. She had blocked her thoughts from me, so this was how it was going to be. We were going to have this discussion aloud. I sighed loudly and turned back to the view.

We sat in silence for several moments, seemingly at an impasse, until she turned and said, "You know Edward, you are the most frustrating vampire in existence. This past year our family has tried very hard to make sense of your actions and you've done nothing to help us. You acted like a child, first running away and then locking yourself away…" she said while shaking her head.

"Alice, I know you're angry…."

"No Edward, let me finish. The time for you to dictate is over, I need to say a few things and you are going to listen," she glowered at me. "Your decision" she spat, "made it impossible for us to live as a family. Every decision you made regarding Bella was based on irrational archaic behavior and our family has paid the consequences."

She stood and began pacing; apparently this discussion was one she put a great deal of thought into. Her anger was coming off her in waves; perhaps I should call Jasper back. Seeing Alice like this I knew I couldn't loose my temper. We would never mend our relationship if I let my anger get out of control. She had a right to say what she needed to express and I deserved everything she was about to throw at me. If I was truly going to begin letting go, then I needed to repair the damage I had done.

"Granted what happened on Bella's birthday was horrid. But you never gave anyone a chance to repair the situation. You didn't give Jasper a chance to apologize to Bella, do you know what that did to him. The guilt he's carried around thinking that he's destroyed your future. He truly loved Bella, don't you think he would have liked the opportunity to apologize?" She glared down at me for a moment, but continued on with her rant.

"You broke Esme's heart over and over again Edward. First when you left and then when you returned a shell of your former self. Locking yourself in your room and not letting anyone speak with you, she was beside herself with worry. It was all Carlisle could do to get her to calm down."

I hung my head looking into my hands, I knew I had hurt Esme deeply and out of everyone in my family her pain was the one that would haunt me the most.

"Edward, you can't go on this way. If you truly have left Bella, then you need to move on and grow up. Your family has been torn apart by your actions and I for one can't allow you to destroy us anymore." She had her hands on her hips while she looked down at me. Even though she was a small thing, she really could be intimidating when she set her mind to it.

Thankfully, I had remained calm throughout her tirade. Everything she said was correct and I needed to hear it. Looking up at her I patted the beach next to me and said, "Alice, please sit. Let me tell you of my recent decision and apologize to you." She stood completely still for a moment while my words and the tone of my voice sunk in. She slowly made her way to my side and sank gracefully on the ground.

I reached over and took her hand, "Before I begin telling you my decision, let me apologize Alice. I'm sorry, so sorry for hurting you. Bella and you had become closer than friends and I ripped that relationship away from you. As much as I needed Bella in my life, I didn't think about what she had brought to the rest of my family, especially you." I sighed and released my hold on her hand. This was much harder than I expected.

"I demanded that you cut all ties with Bella and leave her to live her life. I forced you to stop looking into her future. Asking you to do that was like asking you to cut off your arm. I had no right, and you are absolutely correct when you point out what my decision did to Jasper. He's your mate and you not only had to grieve for your own loss but you had to also bolster Jasper through his pain. I can't express how deeply sorry I am for putting you through that."

She was staring at me now with a look of shock. She didn't know about my decision to begin over again and obviously my speech was starting to make her realize what conclusions I had come to while she was in New York. She reached over to take my hand again, "Edward…"

"No Alice you had your turn let me finish. Out of every member of our family you and I were the closest to Bella, it is my belief that we are the ones who suffered the most from my decision. I should have discussed this with you before reaching my decision."

"Edward, if you recall correctly, I tried to talk with you. You wouldn't allow me to discuss it. You were beyond reason, completely stubborn and unyielding." She said with her singsong voice and grinned at me.

Chuckling I said, "Yes, once again you are correct. Alice I don't know if I'll ever be able to make amends to you, but I want you to know I'll spend the rest of eternity trying to. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me, I would like to have the opportunity to be your friend and brother once again. I know I'll never fill the void you have without Bella, but I'd like to at least repair our relationship."

She grabbed me and hugged me tightly. "Edward, I'll always love you even if you are frustrating and stubborn. You're my family and we need each other." She pulled away and grabbed my face in her hands. "We can help each other through this Edward, now that you've decided to make a life for yourself again. I miss her too. I miss Bella every day, and I know that you do as well. Now don't get angry with me, but what if you and I took a trip back to Forks…"

I jumped up, "NO, Alice! I made the decision a year ago. Bella has most likely moved on, I made the mistake and I must live with the consequences. I can't go running back to Forks and disrupt her life once again. I still have not changed my mind about turning her, so we'll just wind up in the same position we were in so long ago." I hung my head from the pain of the words I just spoke.

Standing beside me she said quietly, "I figured that would be your reaction. Fine, we'll make a new life here in Vermont." She turned and looked towards the mountains again. "Perhaps we'll find what we both need here." With that she started walking towards the house.

I could hear Esme calling us; the family was ready to hunt.

* * *


	17. Horse Play and Siblings

**Horse Play and Siblings**

**I do not own any of the characters in Twilight.**

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EPOV

Several days had passed since our whole family rejoined in Vermont. Rosalie and Emmett were pleased to be back and provided us with tales from their latest honeymoon adventure. They seemed to enjoy their time away; they simply doted on one another since their return.

I was right being among all the couples in my family was a struggle, but Alice was doing her best to keep me from feeling out of place. Esme, Carlisle and Jasper were pleased to see that Alice and I were working out our differences.

Jasper hadn't given up hope of having horses, so we had been spending our time reviewing some horses that were for sale locally. It was easy to find local farmers who were willing to sell their prize horses to us, between Jasper's, Alice's and my talents combined we were able to purchase 5 horses for reasonable prices.

Aside from working on the livestock situation, Jasper was also looking into the colleges within Burlington. We hadn't decided if going back to school as full time students was what we wanted or if we wanted to attend night courses. I was leaning towards the night courses; the idea of spending my days in classes once again had lost its appeal about 50 years ago.

Carlisle had joined the hospital staff and was welcomed with open arms. Of course those open arms were primarily the women, but all the same the staff was happy to have a doctor as accomplished as he was on board.

Alice and I were spending a lot of time together hunting and discussing various topics. Of course some of those topics did concern Bella. She kept trying to convince me to return to Forks to, at the very least, check on Bella. I was refusing her attempts, but I wouldn't stop her from returning if that's what she wanted to do. I knew by telling her that she could return it would show her I was serious about everything I expressed when we spoke.

She didn't want to return without me though, so for now she just continued to bring the subject up. I was working hard at keeping my anger at bay during these discussions. It was really a struggle, but I was determined. If Jasper was around when the subject came up, he felt my anger and would assist in helping me to keep it in control. Her persistence was starting to really grate on my nerves.

Today Alice brought up the subject again, I started feeling my anger swell but kept control by balling my hands into fists. "Alice, my answer has not changed what so ever. Please stop bringing this up, you know my feelings please respect them."

"Edward, I know Bella would be happy to see you. There isn't a doubt in my mind," she sang.

I stopped short from running and turned to her, "Alice you haven't been having visions concerning Bella, have you?" I scanned her thoughts to make sure she wasn't holding back anything. There was nothing to concern me that she was seeing anything regarding Bella.

"No, I just know Bella loved you with all her heart. There's no way she's moved on, and Edward if you were honest with yourself you haven't either. You're just doing a better job of conducting yourself with civility" she said keeping her tone light.

I chuckled, she was right of course. I would never move on, not for the rest of eternity. But it still didn't change anything, Bella was still human and there was no way I would take her soul by turning her into a monster. Shaking my head at her, "Alice, I'm not saying you can't go, I just don't think it's a good idea for me to return. Since you haven't been having visions we have no idea what she's been doing. It would be best to just let her be." I said with finality.

She shrugged her shoulders and said, "Just think about it. What if she had moved on, who in Forks would you want Bella to date, Mike, Eric, Tyler?" She grinned at me knowing this was the one thing that would make me crazed. The thought of Bella being with another man was too much for me, especially someone I knew, someone whose thoughts had invaded my head. I heard myself growling.

She laughed and said, "See, that's what I'm talking about Edward. Bella deserves better than what Forks has to offer. You were meant to be together. I'll drop it for now and let you calm down, besides we need to check on Jasper's horses." She took off on a run, knowing I'd quickly catch up and surpass her.

As we approached the paddock we saw Jasper had just finishing getting our new horses settled in. Emmett was clapping his hands together excitedly. "Jasper, which horse is mine?" he asked barely containing the excitement in his voice. Oh this would be funny!

"Emmett, I think you should take Cottontail here. He's the biggest so he'll be able to hold your weight, but he's also the most gentle. Since you've never ridden before, I'll give you a few pointers on how to ride and then you'll be on your own. Take the trails around the lake so Cottontail gets familiar with the grounds." He was smiling during his explanation to Emmett.

Alice was jumping up and down by my side, clapping her hands. I just looked at her with my eyebrow raised. _'Edward this is going to be so good. Cottontail is gentle, but he doesn't like to be led on his rides. He's been known to throw a rider or two.'_ She could barely control her giggling.

After saddling the horses, we mounted and Jasper gave Emmett the final instructions. Rosalie opened the paddock gate so we could exit. Jasper, Alice and I kicked our horses to begin a full run and Emmett followed suit. Cottontail took off at full speed as Emmett tried his best to control the horse by pulling on the reigns. We stopped and watched as he yelled to the horse, "Whoa, whoa…where are you going…. slow down." Cottontail had taken off at full speed and started heading towards the stables, Emmett was sure to get thrown from the horse shortly.

We were surprised to see he held tight and even managed to duck in time as Cottontail entered the stables. The three of us dismounted and headed towards the stables laughing the whole time. We found Emmett hanging onto one of the beams at the entrance. As we entered laughing, he jumped down and turned on us. "Oh I see how it is, you gave me that horse because you knew he couldn't be controlled. Very funny, well forget it. I don't want to ride; besides I prefer running myself. It's definitely faster." He stalked out of the stable to join Rosalie by the paddock gate.

Rosalie slapped him on the back of the head. She turned to us and said, "Nice, the three of you are real responsible. You know for vampires that are well over a hundred you'd think you could conduct yourselves with a little more maturity." They both stalked off into the house as the three of us burst out laughing again. I heard her thoughts as she was entering the house, _'He's a vampire, one of the biggest vampires around and a horse scares him, pathetic.'_

"You know, they're currently planning their revenge." Jasper said between laughs.

"It's okay Jasper, I'll see what they have planned and whatever it is, we'll know it's coming." Alice said calming down her giggles.

"Let's not forget Emmett usually forgets to block his thoughts, so I'll be able to hear what's being planned long before it comes." We all nodded our heads laughing as we entered the house.

A typical day in our house was usually filled with some sort of activity that had one of us as the brunt of a prank. We had to do something to fill the endless hours of a day. Our pranks would sometimes get out of hand but that was usually when Esme stepped in and made sure we calmed down. Today's prank was one of our more mild ones, so Esme remained upstairs working on restoring an antique wardrobe she had found in Burlington.

We decided to head downstairs to our entertainment room and while away some hours playing video games. Initially I thought that playing a game with Jasper and Emmett would be fun, but I quickly got bored and decided to head upstairs and play my piano.

I hadn't played since leaving Forks although it was the one thing that eased me during trying times. Most of the music I had last composed was due to my relationship with Bella, so this kept me away from the one thing that had brought me the most joy during my time here on earth. I sat at the piano and loosened my fingers, I began slowly moving my fingers across the keys softly. Soon I felt the music flowing through me and I closed my eyes and let it carry me away. It felt so good to let myself get carried away with the chords, I played song after song. I did not play the songs I had composed for Bella that would have been too much for me to bear.

When I had finished, I heard the thoughts coming from Rosalie, _'Edward, that was beautiful. I was wondering if we would ever hear you play again.'_ She came and sat on my piano bench. '_It's so good to have you back again. We've all missed you.'_ She smiled as she finished.

"Thank you Rosalie. I'm glad you are happy." I smiled at her but raised an eyebrow questioning her motives. Rosalie always had motives, so this should be interesting. "It took me a while to come back and I'm still working on it, I hope my family is able to me in the process."

_'Well, I for one will definitely help. You know how I felt about that silly human girl from the beginning. I'm just glad you have come to your senses and have stopped brooding about her.' _I felt my fury building, but didn't interrupt I wanted to hear every word she had to say.

_'You know when Emmett and I were traveling; we met a few vampires that share our diet. And, well one of them, she was great. I'm sure you would just adore her, she's not as pretty as me, but she's definitely in your league.'_ She smiled at me as if this was the best news I'd heard in months.

It started slowly; my growl was building in my chest. Rosalie's face changed to one of shock, to one of impertinence quickly. "Rosalie, my dear sister, it's so nice to have you home again. It's refreshing to see you have not changed one iota. As far as my 'brooding' over Bella, that is none of your business."

She interrupted at this point screaming, "It damn well is my business Edward. You've been so pathetic to be around, the family couldn't stand being under the same roof with you. We were all wondering when you would just get over it. I mean she was a human for god's sake. What interest could she possibly hold for you? Maybe I was wrong about you, you aren't interesting at all, you're just a depressing vampire with nothing of value to offer anyone except a human."

It was at this point I reached out to slap her, when I felt someone grab my hand. Alice appeared at my side and was holding my arm so I didn't strike Rosalie. She wasn't looking at me though she was glaring at Rosalie. "Rosalie, not everyone agrees with your assessment of Bella and Edward's relationship. In fact, you are the only one in this house that feels this way. You know I love you, but most of the time you can be an unbearable snob. Your shallow behavior has always been a nuisance, but we've ignored it."

She dropped my hand at this point; she could feel the tension had drained from my body. I was actually in shock over her words to Rosalie; I had never heard Alice utter unkind words to anyone in the family.

She continued in the same quiet tone, "The issue you have with Bella is because you are jealous of her, not because you feel she's beneath us. You wish you were Bella and that bothers you more than anything. How could beautiful Rosalie be jealous of a mere human girl? How could someone like Edward be attracted to her, when he blatantly dismissed you when you were turned? These are the things that bother you Rosalie, not Bella. These are your issues and you should work on overcoming these petty thoughts." She stood glaring at Rosalie, her whole body was poised for a fight but she remained by my side.

Rosalie stood still, stunned by Alice's words. At first her thoughts were defensive, '_How could this little pixie say these things to me? How dare she take the side of that human drone against me, her own sister!'_

Quickly her thoughts turned though, '_How could she know these things? She's right about my feelings, but how could she have known? I never thought about these things in the open when Edward was around, I was careful about making sure he was nowhere near me.'_ Rosalie looked from me to Alice and then turned and ran to her room without saying one word to either Alice or myself.

I turned to Alice, "How did you know what she thought? Have you picked up a new talent? Are you mind reading as well now?" I said teasingly as I smiled at her.

She just raised an eyebrow at me, "Edward, I don't need to read minds to know what a woman thinks, especially a woman like Rosalie. She's not as unpredictable as she thinks she is!" She smiled and continued, "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Thanks for stopping me from hitting her, I really couldn't restrain myself after she said everything." I sat down heavily on the couch, "I've been trying to keep my anger in check, but she really pushed every button I have."

She sat beside me, "Edward, this isn't over. You need to get her to talk to you and resolve this. We need each other; the family needs to be whole. Think of Esme and Carlisle. The only reason I said all those things was so you would understand Rosalie's true feelings. Now that you know, I think you should go talk to her and work this out." She stood and went back down with Emmett and Jasper.

I ran my hands through my hair as I sat on the couch thinking about everything Alice had said. She was one smart vampire; between her and Jasper they were a formidable team. They both could read people's emotions, although Jasper's was a talent, Alice's ability was more related to her loving nature.

This did need to be addressed; I couldn't leave Rosalie in this state. As much as she disturbed me on many levels, she didn't deserve to be left alone to wallow in self-pity. We are a family and she's just as important to the family as anyone. I stood and headed up the stairs to resolve this latest conflict.

Knocking lightly on her door, she didn't answer at first. I knocked again, harder this time and her thoughts came to me, _'Go away Edward. I'm in no mood to discuss this with you. Your little sidekick said everything that needed to be said.'_ "Rosalie, open the door right now or you force me to knock it down and Esme wouldn't be happy with either of us if I did that." I said with force.

I heard her slowly rising and unlocking the door; she walked back to her bed and sat on the edge. I opened the door and entered standing just inside the entry. "Rosalie, I came to apologize to you." She just glared at me but her thoughts were far from angry, '_Apologize, why would you apologize?'_

"I'm apologizing because you should know we didn't mean to hurt you Rosalie. The things you said against Bella are the reason we get upset and then in turn say things we shouldn't. If you don't mind, now that Alice has said all those things, I'd like to discuss them with you. Would you mind?" I said as I gestured to the chair in the room. She nodded acknowledging me.

"Is it true Rose, were you really jealous of Bella?"

She nodded again without looking at me.

"Rose, you shouldn't let jealousy get in the way of becoming friends with someone. Especially someone like Bella, she could have brought you so much joy when she was with us. You had to see for yourself how everyone in our family embraced her?" I leaned forward in the chair hoping she would understand what I was trying to tell her. She needed to understand she was alienating herself from many people by her jealous behavior. I stopped speaking so I could hear what her thoughts were, but she was blocking me.

She sighed and turned towards me, "Edward, I'm sorry. You should know that in spite of the fact that Bella was human, even I could see the joy she brought into your life. When you decided to leave her, yes I thought it was best. I thought you would be able to move on and that's why I brought up the other vampire. When I heard you playing again, I just assumed you were truly over Bella. I had no idea you were still harboring feelings for her."

She stood and walked over to the window. "I do understand love, Edward. If I were to loose Emmett I would die inside. So I know what you've been going through. When we returned from our trip and you were here, acting as you used to, I just thought that perhaps you had turned a corner. I know it was silly of me to think that way now, but it's what I thought at the time."

She turned back to me with her arms across her chest, "Edward, this will sound hypocritical coming from me, but I'm going to say it anyway. You need to find Bella. She's the love of your existence and you may be putting up a good front, but you need her. You need to find your other half."

I stood and approached her and pulled her into an embrace. Kissing her on her forehead I told her, "Rose, coming from you it almost sounds plausible. But Bella is better off without me, I couldn't possibly return and beg her forgiveness. She would never accept my apology and it would kill me to have her walk away." I pulled away from her and smiled, "Thank you though, what you've said means a great deal to me."

"Okay Edward, have it your way. But vampires cannot live on blood alone dear brother." She smiled at me and we walked downstairs to our siblings.

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	18. Distractions

**Distractions **

**Stephenie Meyer is still the genius behind Twilight! I also don't own any rights to Russell Crowe, American Gangster, 3:10 to Yuma or Gladiator.**

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BPOV

Two weeks had gone by, I was as happy as I'd felt in at least a year. I couldn't believe I was the same girl who left Forks several weeks ago. Classes were going well, even Integrated Technology now that I had a personal tutor. Ian made it his job to work with me over the weekends so I would have a better understanding of the class.

But the best part of my week was my job at North Country Books, it was so invigorating working for John. He was probably as old as Charlie, yet he treated me as an adult. I never felt like a child around him. My hours were generous considering my course schedule. He wasn't only teaching me about the business, he was showing me the way to handle first edition collector's books.

Some of John's inventory was in great shape and others were in miserable shape but still worth a great deal of money. When handling these treasures you had to be very careful, the pages were delicate as were the bindings and covers. On some days when I worked he would leave to go and find used books of value to add to his stock. Other days he stayed with me and we would discuss the classics, my courses or he would tell me about some of the books he had found pleasure in reading.

His favorites were science fiction or fantasy. John would tell me about different story lines that held appeal and the passion in which he described them made me want to read them. Although I really enjoyed the classics I did want to start reading some of his recommendations. I decided to ask him to make me a list so that when the semester break came I would have something to read. Right now it was all I could manage to maintain my course reading. Although every once in awhile I would sneak off to the patio with one of my favorites, either Pride and Prejudice or Wuthering Heights.

My birthday was tomorrow and I had been pretty successful in keeping it from my friends. Now if I could just make sure Renee didn't do anything grandiose, I should be safe. I had asked John if I could work on Sunday, but he wouldn't hear of it. He knew it was my birthday, because it was on my application. So he refused my pleas and insisted I enjoy the day whether or not I celebrated. He said, "You're only young once Bella. You may not need to celebrate the day but you should allow your friends to. After all, they are celebrating your birth and without you, their lives would not be the same."

I was occupied most of the week between classes and work so I didn't think about the dreaded day much, but once today rolled around I began to get nervous. The couple of hours I worked today were a nice distraction, but now that I was home I was walking on pins and needles. Fortunately, most everyone in the house was out all day, either working or studying. My plans for tomorrow consisted of studying and staying home to relax. I didn't know how I was going to explain to Roxanne why I had the day off, but I'd figure something out.

This evening we had decided to watch some movies instead of going out. I was exhausted from the week and didn't have the energy to go anywhere, so this suited me fine.

Last week the six of us went to the movies making it an early evening. When we returned to the house we all went into the common room and played poker until around midnight.

That was a very funny evening because Roxanne, Anne and I didn't really know how to play poker. We knew the basics so when Drake called 5-card draw, we understood. But then he added Jacks or better, Trips to win; we had no idea what he was saying. So Drake rolled his eyes and explained, 'in order to stay in you need Jacks or better in your hand and three of a kind would win the hand'. After reviewing our cards Roxanne, Anne and I immediately dropped, the guys all looked confused but kept playing.

The next hand was the same thing, again the guys played while we folded. By the third hand, Ian turned to me when I threw my hand down and said, "Do you mind if I look?" Shrugging I said, "Be my guest."

Ian looked at my hand and said, "Bella why did you fold?"

"Because I didn't have a Jack." I looked at him as if to challenge him.

"Bella, you have a straight." He was looking at me shaking his head. Drake and Sam were laughing.

"So! I didn't have a Jack. I had a 4,5,6,7 and 8; they weren't even in the same suit. I thought you said I had to have a Jack." I was getting annoyed now, because the guys were laughing so hard.

Drake and Sam questioned Roxanne and Anne wondering if they thought the same. They both responded yes. The guys just started laughing harder. They explained we didn't have to have Jacks specifically; we could open with a straight or anything higher in value than a pair of jacks. All three of us, exclaimed at once, "OHHHH!" Oh well, so much for us becoming card sharks.

Spending time with Ian was great. I was still working through my feelings for him; I would find myself occasionally staring at him and admiring his looks. It wasn't just how good-looking he was; he was kind, gentle and caring. Whenever he saw me, he would make his way over and make sure I had whatever I needed. If I were studying, he would come in with a cup of hot chocolate, or hot tea. He always pulled my chair out for me when I came into the kitchen at meal times. If he overheard me saying I needed something from the store yet couldn't find time to get there to get it, I would come home from work or class and find it on the kitchen table with a note. He took care of me in a way that only one person ever had.

I still had not told Roxanne about my past and I'd find her at times looking at me with a very worried expression. At those times, I would just wag my finger at her and she would smile and say, "Okay you caught me." Our fight had brought us closer together because we had a deeper understanding of each other.

Tonight we would be having a Russell Crowe marathon, beginning with 3:10 to Yuma, moving on to American Gangster and if anyone was still up for another movie, the guys favorite, Gladiator. It would be great because we would all get comfortable in the common room and anyone from the house that was home was welcome to join. In order to make sure that everyone in the house knew what would be playing, Anne posted it on our kitchen bulletin board. This way everyone had the opportunity to join and knew what time we would start the movies.

This was just the kind of evening I enjoyed most. I was looking forward to kicking back in my sweats and hanging with my friends. If given a choice as to how I would like to spend my birthday, this would be it. Movies, pizza, friends and a comfortable couch, it was the only way to spend a Saturday evening.

Roxanne had called earlier and said she was held up down town and would meet me later in the common room. I took a quick shower, pulled my hair into a loose ponytail and bounded down the steps. I was very nearly at the landing when I tripped and started free falling. As I prepared myself to hit the floor, I found myself in a pair of arms. Settled in the arms I looked up and smiled expecting to see Ian's face. I was completely taken by surprise when the face I saw looking back at me was Derrick's. He smiled, "Hello Bella. It's so nice to see you again, and to meet you in such an unexpected way has made it even better."

He pulled me tighter as I struggled to get free. Pushing against his chest I said "Let me go Derrick, right now." I couldn't get any traction in getting free because he held me tight and was practically squeezing the breath out of me.

Smiling broadly he said, "Sure Bella, I wouldn't want to upset you or your friends. I was just trying to help, there was no harm meant." With that he let me go and said, "I'll be seeing you around Bella. Anytime you need me I'll be around." He left me standing there with my mouth open wide in shock.

I was still in shock as I walked into the common room but quickly forgot when I saw Ian and what he had waiting for me. He had saved me a seat and was gently patting it smiling. As I ran over and sat down he pulled me into his chest so I was leaning against him. Then he reached over the back of the couch and pulled a blanket over my legs. I sighed deeply, completely content. He chuckled and leaned down to whisper in my ear, "Don't get too comfortable and fall asleep, we still have 3 movies we're supposed to be watching."

Roxanne and Drake showed up in the middle of the first movie. When they came into the room, Roxanne looked over at me and smiled, giving me the thumbs up. She and Drake were left sharing an armchair because almost everyone in the house had joined our movie marathon. After the second movie, my eyes started getting heavy and I put my face into Ian's chest to get more comfortable, he put his arm around me holding my head against him. As I was lying there I started taking deep breaths, inhaling his scent. He smelled really nice a mixture of soap and deoderant, I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy his warmth and scent.

Soon, I felt someone nudging me and pulling me from my comfortable slumber. I grumbled, "No, leave me be, just a few more minutes." I heard laughing and opened one eye. I saw Roxanne looking back at me smiling. "Rox, go away. I'm too comfortable to get up yet. You start breakfast, I'll be down soon."

She laughed again, "Bella, come on. Ian's arm has fallen asleep; we need to get you to bed. It's not morning, you feel asleep watching the movie."

I picked my head up and looked around, Drake was still sitting in the armchair, Ian was sitting directly behind me smiling but everyone else had left. Roxanne reached over and grabbed my arm, "Come on Sleeping Beauty, it's bed time. Say goodnight."

"Good night." I was starting to stand when I felt Ian pull me back against him. He kissed me on the head and said, "Sleep tight angel." Roxanne and I headed upstairs, "Well, it looks like you and Ian are getting along pretty well." I just smiled; I was too tired for details. I didn't even bother changing; I just jumped into bed and fell fast asleep.

The first thing I noticed was the sun streaming in the window, right in my eyes. I groaned and rolled over to put my back to it. I looked over at Roxanne's bed and noticed she was up already. I closed my eyes again to catch a few more minutes of peaceful sleep.

All of a sudden I heard the door to our room open and Roxanne screaming excitedly, "Bella why didn't you tell us it was your birthday today?" I opened my eyes in shock and what I saw brought out a groan. There was Roxanne standing in the door with a bunch of balloons. There were so many balloons I could barely see her, I groaned again and pulled the covers over my head.

She came marching over to my bed, releasing the balloons, "Bella, honestly what is wrong with you. Why wouldn't you want us to know it's your birthday?"

I sat up in the bed glaring at her, "Okay Roxanne, here's how it is. I hate my birthday, I always have and I always will. There's nothing good about the day and before you start, many other's before you have tried to show me it's supposed to be a great day. Somehow it always turns out to be a nightmare. So if you really want to remain my friend, just forget about the fact that it's my birthday and let's enjoy the day as we would any other Sunday."

Stepping back slightly, she looked at me with a scowl and then sighed, "Alright Bella, if that's what you want. I won't say a word. In fact, I better get downstairs and warn the others to keep their mouths shut. Maybe you should tell your mother how much you hate your birthday, she's the one who sent the balloons." She walked out the door closing it hard, but not slamming it.

I yelled after her, "I know the balloons are from my mother. Who else would be so ridiculous?" I looked up at the balloons, rolled my eyes and slid under the covers again.

The balance of the day was spent quietly doing homework; everyone heeded my desire to ignore the fact that it was my birthday. The only time it was mentioned again was from Ian; we were sitting in the study room going over this week's assignment in Integrating Technology. He leaned over and turned my face to look right at him, "I don't care that you want to ignore today, I've been good all day and let you have your silence. So now, you have to accept my wishes with as much good graces as I know you can muster. Bella, Happy Birthday! I'm happy you were brought into our world, and I'm even happier that you share your world with me." He leaned in and kissed me on the forehead.

Smiling at him I said, "Now those are birthday wishes I can deal with. It's presents, balloons and cake that make me grumpy."

"I'll keep that in mind. Now let's finish this up so you can get to bed." He said as he pulled me into a one armed hug.

Climbing the stairs that night I realized Ian was becoming more than a friend to me and I liked it. Perhaps this was truly the beginning of a new life. I went to sleep that night feeling better than I had in months.

I was woken up with a start; Roxanne was standing over me with a very worried look on her face. "Bella, Bella are you okay? Wake up, please wake up."

"What, what's wrong Roxanne? I went to rub my eyes and noticed there were tears on my face. What the…

"You tell me. You were screaming out in your sleep, 'don't leave please don't leave me. Edward, Jacob will kill you, please don't leave.' Bella, it's time, you have to tell me what's going on with you." She sat on the edge of my bed holding my hands, looking into my eyes.

Sighing, I looked down to give myself time to think. "Bella," she said quietly. "I wouldn't pressure you, but you frightened me tonight. Your breathing was so unstable and you were gasping for air when I finally woke you. Maybe if you tell someone what happened it will help."

Looking into her eyes again, I whispered, "Okay, you're right. It's time." I didn't know how I was going to tell her everything she wanted to hear, but I knew I had to. She was right it was time to unburden myself from this. I couldn't have a new beginning and keep these feelings buried deep within me. It was time to let go and Roxanne would be the one I would tell my story to. "Before I begin, we should get ourselves something to drink. I have a feeling we're going to need it. Come on, we'll go down on the deck and sit under the stars. I'll feel better telling you this outside."

We walked downstairs, got a beer from the kitchen and went to the deck. After getting settled, I took a deep breath and looked up at the stars. Roxanne waited patiently for me to begin. I took a big gulp of my beer and began my tale.

"Roxanne, what I'm going to tell you may not make complete sense because there are details I have to leave out. The details I'm leaving out have been omitted because I made a promise to never tell a soul certain things. I plan on keeping that promise." I looked at her then to make sure she understood what I was telling her.

She nodded her head in understanding. "When I moved to Forks, I didn't know anyone. During my first day of school I noticed a family sitting by themselves in the cafeteria away from everyone else. When I asked about them, the other students explained their background to me. They were adopted children of a prominent doctor in the area. Apparently, they didn't socialize with anyone in the school. They were beautiful, graceful and oddly distant. I was intrigued. I couldn't stop myself from thinking about them, especially one of them. His name was…Edward."

I hesitated for a moment to catch my breath; I hadn't said his name in probably a year. I wiped my forehead and squeezed my eyes shut as the tears started pooling. Roxanne reached over and squeezed my hand to console me and encourage me to continue.

"At first Edward didn't like me; no correct that, Edward despised me. I didn't understand why because I hadn't said a word to him, but he did. I puzzled over this for several days trying to understand what it was I could have done to make him dislike me so much. After my first day, he didn't come to school for several days. I found out later that he left town, he left to escape from me. He knew he couldn't be near me or he would hurt me."

"When he finally returned his attitude had changed. He actually tried to engage me in conversation, but at this point I was so angry with him for his prior behavior I wasn't very hospitable. A few days later I was standing in the school parking lot and it was icy, a car came into the lot and careened towards me at a speed that would have killed me. It should have killed me, but somehow Edward had saved me. He was able to pull me to safety and I escaped with only a bump on the head. Edward and I still didn't get along though, I confronted him on his changing moods and he got defensive."

"We made a little head way but not much, then he left town again. I made the mistake of going out with some friends in a town that bordered Forks and got seperated from my friends. Three men trapped me in an alley and they would have raped and killed me, but Edward came to the rescue once again. That was the night I fell in love with him."

Looking over at her, she smiled and said; "Well I can see why you would fall in love with him. He rescued you over and over, he's your night in shining armor."

"Rox, it was more than that. Let me finish and perhaps you'll understand the depth of my emotions for him."

I sighed again, not knowing if I could continue this story. Swallowing the saliva that was building in my mouth I continued, "Edward and I were inseparable after that. I met the rest of his family and enjoyed time with them. But it was short lived because they had out of town visitors and one of the visitors decided he wanted to kill me." She gasped and put her hands over her mouth. I held my finger up to her indicating that I needed to finish.

"I had to be taken out of town and hidden so he wouldn't find me. Unfortunately he did find me and nearly killed me. Edward and his brothers found me in time and brought me to the hospital, I was hurt pretty badly but obviously survived. Once again Edward and I settled in and were pretty happy."

"Last year on my birthday there was another incident having to do with Edward's family and I was put in harms way again. It was two days after my birthday that Edward left, after everything we had been through he decided that I wasn't what he wanted." I put my head in my hands and sobbed.

"Roxanne, I knew I was never good enough for him. I knew that one day he would discover I wasn't someone he could spend eternity with." I handed her his photo so she could understand the beauty he possessed. "Do you see what I'm talking about, he was so beautiful, an Adonis, he could have anyone he wanted. Why would he settle for me? He left that day and I haven't heard from him or his family since. Every day I think about him and long for the day I can see his face again. I know I'll never see him again, but I still wait for that day."

I leaned back in the chair again and let the tears fall. Roxanne was right, I did feel better, I was upset, but the deep ache within me was no longer there. The whole that always tore me open was gone. Although Jake knew the details, we never spoke about it. I never said a word to anyone; maybe this was the salve my empty heart needed.

She was still silent and I didn't say anything to encourage her to speak. Finally she said, "Okay, I understand most of it, but I have a few questions. Why would their visitor want to kill you if he just met you? And who's Jacob and why would he kill Edward?"

I smiled, she was too observant for her own good. "The visitor wasn't someone they knew, he just dropped by unannounced and determined I shouldn't live. I can't really get into the reasons, just understand that Edward and his family did everything in their power to protect me." I said quietly.

"Jacob and I became friends after Edward left. He was a good substitute to occupy the time, but I never had feelings for Jacob like I had for Edward. Jacob loved me so much more than I loved him, it bothered me that our feelings weren't equal, but Jacob was fine with it. We're still very close today."

I continued trying to answer her questions the best I could, "Jacob and Edward will kill each other if they come in contact. They are mortal enemies and nothing I can say will stop them from killing each other. I know in my heart that it would be a brutal fight that would only stop after one of them were dead."

We sat in silence again, while she processed all I had told her. "Bella, I know you made a promise and you plan to keep it, but people are being killed or at least attempting murder. Is Edward's family in the mob?"

I laughed and kept laughing at that. She waited until my laughter subsided and I could answer her, "I wish, Rox. The mob might be a little easier to deal with. No, his family isn't in the mob." I patted her hand to reassure her.

"Bella, do you know where Edward is today?" she asked quietly.

"No, I don't. I don't know how I would react if I did see him again, some days I feel my life is great and I would be strong when facing him, but other days… The one thing that remains constant is I've never felt complete since the day he left. Roxanne, even if I were to see him again, it doesn't matter he doesn't love me. I was just a distraction for him."

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	19. Breaking Bread

**Breaking Bread**

**Of course like everyone else I don't own any characters you may recognize from Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Series.**

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BPOV

After baring my soul to Roxanne, we stayed out on the deck until the sun rose. We had classes to get to and knew we were going to be exhausted, but after telling my story there was no way I was getting back to sleep and since she was still mulling the whole thing over, no sleep for her either.

We headed upstairs, dressed and decided to meet again for dinner on Church Street after I got off work. Roxanne wanted the opportunity to ask me several questions after she had some time to think about everything. I cautioned her again that there would be some things I just wouldn't be able to explain because of my commitment.

When I arrived at work, John took one look at me and smiled but with his eyebrow raised, "Looks like someone celebrated their birthday after all."

At first I was confused, probably because I wasn't firing on all pistons due to my lack of sleep and then I realized what he meant. He was inferring I looked like I had spent the night partying until dawn; I could only imagine what I must look like. I smiled shyly, "Yeah, it turned out to be a long night." Moving towards the back to put my things down, "I really learned my lesson last night, I'm not someone who can pull an all nighter."

When I came back out front, he was just looking at me. "Look Bella, it's not my place to say things like this, but I feel close to you. I have two daughters in college and hope that someone in their life cares enough to look after them while they're in school. You should take it easy and not burn the candles at both ends. There's a lot on your plate and you need to pace yourself. Your GPA is important considering you're on a full scholarship. That's all I'm going to say on the subject. There's no need for a lecture, I'll leave that to your parents." He patted me on the shoulder and headed towards his office.

I could have let him know it wasn't the kind of all nighter he was imagining, but knew it was best to leave him thinking I was just being a normal college student. I shrugged my shoulders and looked around to see what needed to get done.

A new shipment of used books was waiting to get unpacked, checked into inventory and stocked. I was grateful for the project as it would make the next few hours fly by until Rox came for dinner.

As I was going through the books I discovered the shipment contained a variety of titles. There were a few new books; some barely used releases as well as some really old issues. One of the older books was extremely well cared for considering it was printed in the mid 1900's. It was the biography of a Union Brigadier General in the Civil War written by his great grandson, titled 'A Soldiers Journal'. It was impressive because the shape the book was in made it appear as if it were published only years ago, the quality of the photos on the interior were superior considering some of them were taken in the 1800's. John came back from his office and noticed me looking through the book. "So do you think I should put that one in the window to encourage business?" he asked.

"I think it's pretty impressive, if you think the book wouldn't get harmed by putting it in the sun I think you should. Who knows what kind of buyer it may attract" I said with a smile.

"It's a pretty dry read, it takes a certain type of person to get through a book like that." He said while picking through the books I'd already checked in. "I think I will put it on display in the window, I have a great deal of books on the Civil War, maybe this book will help move some of them."

The book really was quite an impressive piece of history I thought as I continued looking through it. I put it on the counter and continued checking in the inventory. John took the book and went to the window to add it to the others already being showcased there.

Shortly after, Roxanne came walking in the door. "Hey Bella, Hi John. How are things going?" she said while looking around and walking to the different displays. "You really do have an extensive assortment of books here John, I can see why Bella loves being here. Maybe you should consider charging her to come in," she said while laughing.

"Honestly, I thought about it, but I like her too much" he said as he patted me on the head. He looked at me and said, "Why don't you call it a day and go have dinner with Roxanne? I can take it from here."

"Are you sure, I still have a half hour left?" I asked. I really did want to leave because I was hungry and tired, not a good thing for a woman to be, but I didn't want to leave him if he had things that still needed to get done.

"Go, it's not like there are customers breaking down the door. And Bella, get some sleep tonight!" he said in a fatherly way.

"Thanks John, I will." I said as Roxanne and I practically ran out the door.

We headed towards Three Tomatoes Trattoria to grab dinner. It was a little out of our budget but still reasonable and Roxanne had a craving for Calamari. After being seated and ordering our meals, Rox looked at me and said, "Okay I've thought about everything you told me last night, or actually this morning." She said as she rolled her eyes. "I know you told me there were things you couldn't talk about, but Bella why would you treat someone trying to kill you so casually?"

"Well, I wouldn't say casual. I was scared when it was happening, I mean really scared. I thought if he didn't find me he might go after my parents. But it was a long time ago, so maybe last night I sounded casual but I took it seriously when it was happening."

"All right gauging by your reaction, that's all your going to say on that. So can you tell me what happened on your birthday last year?" She asked with her eyebrows raised.

"Next question" I said as I stuffed a piece of bread in my mouth.

"This next question is probably the hardest of all of them, why would Edward want to hurt you? You said he left town because he couldn't be near you or he'd hurt you?" she asked completely puzzled.

"Um, that's a good question." I wasn't sure how to answer that, so I stalled as I buttered another piece of bread. "Well, Edward really didn't like me and felt I had come to Forks to destroy him and his family." I said as put my bread down and sipped my Iced Tea. It came out in a jumble of words, and I really hoped she didn't understand what I said.

"What? Bella, do you hear yourself? Are you sure they aren't with the mob, I mean how do you know they aren't? It's the only logical answer." She lifted her fingers to count off her reasons. "Number one, Edward thinking you came to town to hurt him, so he was going to hurt you instead. Number 2, his immediate distrust of you to the point of not wanting to talk to you or make eye contact. Number 3, an unknown visitor comes to town and decides he should kill you. Do you see a pattern here Bella?" she paused while I just shook my head chuckling.

"And what about Jacob and Edward being, what did you call them, 'mortal enemies'? Why are they mortal enemies and what does that mean anyway?" Now she was glaring at me.

"Rox, I know it sounds very bizarre, but trust me, Edward's family is not related to the mob. I spent a lot of time at their house and I would have known if they were mob related." I said with conviction while staring at her daring her to oppose me.

"Okay, but you still didn't explain the 'mortal enemy' thing. What does that mean, that's a term they use in comic books Bella. Is Edward like Superman and Jacob Lex Luther?" She reached for her drink and took a sip. The look on her face was one of pure satisfaction, like she stumped me.

I laughed at her, "Of course not Rox. Superman is fictional and believe me Edward is very real. My friend Jacob is a living breathing man, the next time he calls, I'll let you speak with him so you can see for yourself he's not a fictional character." I said as I smirked at her.

"Fine, I get it. You aren't giving up any more information than what you've already told me." She glared at me waiting for me to break eye contact. I knew what she was doing though and I wouldn't look away. She knew if I broke contact that I was hiding something and she wouldn't let me be until she found out what it was.

Our waitress came over with our meals and we began eating. A few bites into our dinner she looked at me again and said "Bella, it sounds to me like Edward was right to leave you. Maybe the reasons he gave weren't viable, but I think he was right. I believe he left you for your own good. Given the few facts you've provided and the timeline, it sounds to me like Edward left because he felt he wasn't good for you. You are worth a lot more than you give yourself credit for; you're a treasure to everyone who knows you." She said with complete sincerity.

"Rox, you couldn't be more wrong. You weren't there. He left because I bored him; I wasn't enough for him. You saw his picture, he's so much more than I'll ever be." I whispered.

"Bella, that's crazy talk. You have so much to offer the right person; you should give yourself a little credit. Let's say you're right for argument's sake, then here's what I have to say to that, He's An Idiot. Edward is not worth your tears, or any part of sorrow that you have been wallowing in for a year. It's time to move on, he's not good enough for you. Think about it Bella, you walked into Bader Hall and within a few hours you had the hottest guy in the house lusting after you. Doesn't that tell you something?" She grabbed my hand and made me look at her. "Ian would do anything for you, he's 10 times the man that Edward is. Granted I don't know Edward, but I know you and I know Ian. Stop obsessing over someone you can't have and open your eyes to the man standing right in front of you, he's just waiting for you to see him!" she said in a forceful whisper.

I sat there staring at my meal; I finally looked up at her and said, "You're probably right. Ian is a great guy and I'm starting to really feel something for him. Lately, I've been looking at him differently and it's been confusing."

"That's because you're falling in love dopey!" she said with a smile.

"Roxanne, I'm warning you, you cannot say a word to anyone. I would rather go through this at my own pace. Let me work through my feelings without you pushing Ian at me." I warned her while waving my finger in her face.

"Yeah, yeah." She said while waving her hand at me. "I'm just glad you're considering it. He's a great guy and you would have to be dead not to notice how much he adores you."

We finished eating and headed back to the house, I was so exhausted at this point my feet were dragging with each step I took. My bed was going to feel so good and the best part was I could sleep late because my first class was at noon!

When we got in the door, Ian was standing in the entryway smiling at me. "Did you have a nice evening?"

"Yes, Rox and I treated ourselves to a nice meal. What's up with you, why do you look like you just started printing your own money?" I said laughing while hanging up my jacket.

"Nothing, I'm just really happy to see you. How about we go sit, relax and you can tell me about your day?" He reached out to take my hand.

I took his hand and pulled him towards me, he started laughing because my efforts were fruitless. "No, I really need to go to bed. Roxanne woke me up last night and we wound up talking until sunrise, I'm beat. Can I give you a rain check?" I smiled my most radiant smile hoping he would understand.

He pouted, "Okay, but I'll definitely take you up on that rain check." He pulled me into him then and kissed me on my lips chastely.

Wow, my first real kiss from Ian! My head was spinning, I didn't know if it was from the kiss or lack of sleep. I didn't really care either way it felt wonderful. I looked up and smiled at him, "You can take it to the bank." I kissed him again and walked up the stairs.

The next morning I woke up just in time to dash to class. As I bounded down the stairs and flew into the kitchen to grab a granola bar, I heard Anne laughing behind me. "Somebody running a little late?"

"Yeah I barely have time to grab this," I said as I held up the bar to stuff it into my pack.

I was just leaving when she grabbed my arm and spun me so I was facing the room again. "Hey Little Miss Observant, before you bolt take a look around to see if you've forgotten anything." She was smiling the biggest smile. Something was definitely up.

That's when I saw it; on the table was a single sunflower with a note propped up against the glass it was in. "Is that for me?" I asked grinning. She nodded and pushed me towards the table.

I reached down grabbed the note and read, 'I hope this little flower brings as much sunshine to your morning as you have brought to my days! Have a great day because I'm taking you up on your rain check tonight. Later, Ian.' I was smiling as I tucked the note in my pack, gave Anne a hug and skipped out of the room. Yes, it would most definitely be a great day.

After classes were over, I headed to North Country. I walked in the door and noticed John's music was blaring. I called out to him several times before he heard me. There were stacks of books in the corner as well as boxes, packing tape and various items for shipping. When John came walking up, he was smiling broader than I had ever seen. "What's up?" I swung my arm in the direction of the items in the corner.

"Well, shortly after you left last night a customer came in and asked to look at 'A Soldiers Journal'. After she looked at it a few minutes she asked me to put it on hold, she came back pretty excited and started picking out books on various subjects, the Civil War, Music, Cars, even Medical Journals. While she was picking through everything she wanted, another woman came in and started helping. It was incredible Bella, I've never had a sale like last night." He was shaking his head as he recalled the episode.

Smiling I said, "So what's with all the packing? Have you decided to close up now that you've made your millions?"

"No, this my dear, is what you will be doing today. They chose so many books they couldn't carry them to their car. So they're sending someone to pick them up this evening. Get to it kid, I wouldn't want to disappoint my best customers." He turned and went back to his office whistling.

Throwing my jacket on the counter, I headed over to the corner with my backpack. I pulled my iPod out and began the task of packing up all the books. It really was amazing the assortment of books this customer had purchased, there were hundreds of titles here. I was really happy for John, he needed this boost in business. Hopefully this customer would return, or at least recommend North Country to others.

A couple of hours later John came walking out and said, "You look awfully happy Bella. What's going on, did you get a good grade on a paper or something?"

"No, nothing like that, I just realized last night that life has a lot to offer if you're willing to open your eyes." I grinned at him as I stood up. "Well, they're all packed. Hey John, do you mind if I head out a little early, I'm anxious to get home." I said excitedly.

He just studied my face and grinned. "Go, enjoy your evening Bella."

Not wanting to wait another second to see Ian, I grabbed my backpack and rushed towards the door. "Thanks John, you're great. See you tomorrow."

I turned back around and nearly collided with a man coming in. Looking up at him, I apologized and stepped aside to let him pass. Probably the guy coming to get all those books, I thought. As I walked home I thought about how lucky I was. My mind wandered to Ian, my heart started racing and I began walking faster. The quicker I got home, the sooner I'd be in his arms and taste his sweet kisses. Yes, today was a great day and it would be an even better evening.

* * *


	20. Special Delivery

**Special Delivery**

**Nothing from the Twilight Series or Ms. Meyers works belong to me!**

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EPOV

As a result of yesterday's shopping excursion by Alice and Rosalie, their favorite pastime, I was chosen as the designated pickup and delivery man for all of the goods they couldn't carry themselves. It wasn't enough they showed up with an entire car loaded with shoes, sweaters, dresses, coats and lots of unmentionables, but what didn't make it in their car, I was then called upon to recover from the shops in Burlington. Normally I wouldn't care how much they purchased, but this time I was being roped into their shopping adventure.

Apparently they found an 'absolutely fantastic' bookstore, it was 'charming' as my _lovely_ sisters classified it. So having no self-control when it comes to shopping, they bought books. It seems they purchased so many books that fitting them into Alice's car was a problem and not wanting the shop owner to get suspicious when they picked up the boxes and carried them out, they asked me to be their delivery man. Now, I'm left with the task of having to drive into Burlington to collect my sisters' latest acquisitions. I began growling as I thought about this.

I wanted Jasper to join me, but Alice wouldn't allow it because the whole reason she went into the store was to buy Jasper a present. She didn't want him to know about the gift, so he couldn't keep me company or assist me with getting the books to the car. There was no way I was going to ask Emmett to come, all too often when going out in public Emmett would find some way to embarrass me. So I was left making the trip on my own.

The drive into town was quick, I did love driving; it wasn't like I had anything to do either, so I wasn't as put out as I was convincing myself. In fact, it was somewhat of a relief to be out of the house and away from couples. I was enjoying our new home but getting behind the wheel of my Volvo again was refreshing. I began to relax as I thought about how I was actually beginning to think of our new house as a home. Our last place of residence never held that appeal for me.

As I walked down Church Street I realized it was a quaint little street, but as usual it was like many others across America. After the amount of years I've been around, the allure of streets such as this have lost its appeal. Alice's enthusiasm for shopping was not one that I shared. I found the bookstore Alice directed me to, North Country Books it looks appealing enough.

I held the door open for a gentleman as he exited. I was instantly hit with a very familiar scent; it hit me like a ton of bricks stopping me in my path. It unnerved me and as I got further into the shop my whole body tensed. This was a scent I was very familiar with; it was the smell of freesia. The fire in my throat erupted, my stomach tightened and the venom started to flow into my mouth. It couldn't be though; this could not be my la tua cantante.

Panic flooded through my veins, I looked around the store for the source of the aroma, but the only other person was a man behind the counter. Gaining control of my breathing so that the smell did not completely overcome me, I slowly approached. Instantly the scent intensified, I knew my eyes must have been black as the blackest night; I tried to collect myself to mask my emotions on my face. There was something within the vicinity of this counter that held the strongest of the scent.

When the man looked at me, I saw his initial reaction, fear. It quickly changed to a reserved smile as I gathered myself. "Can I help you?" he asked.

Before answering him, I scanned the store quickly to ensure that there was no one else around. "Yes, I'm here to pick up a purchase that was made yesterday evening. It's under the name of McCarty, I was told the order would be ready this evening."

The man's smile became very warm and wide. "Ah yes, the boxes are right over here," he gestured to the corner as he began walking from behind the counter. Looking over to the location he indicated, I was surprised to see 10 boxes. Alice and Rosalie had definitely gone overboard.

"If you don't mind I will begin loading them into my car," I stated as I approached the corner. Again the scent increased as I drew near the boxes. My mind was racing, how could this be? I knew the gentleman that I was standing beside was not the owner of the scent. This could only be one individual, my angel. But how, how is this possible, she's in Forks, 3,000 miles away.

"If you give me a moment to get my jacket I'll help you carry these to your car." the man said as he smiled at me. I nodded, as I stood rigidly held in place, struggling to control the monster within me.

"Thank you I'd appreciate your assistance. Is there any paperwork that needs to be completed before I leave?" I asked him. The scent had been the most intense at the counter so I was hoping for a chance to get near it, perhaps it held some answers.

"Well, yes that would be great. I'll need your signature on the bill of sale verifying that you picked up the order," he said as he walked back to the counter. I followed him fighting back the venom and the desire to run from the store to find the source of the scent.

As I approached, I noticed a jacket draped over one side of the counter. I said casually, "It appears one of your customers has left their jacket behind." I pointed to the jacket hoping he would have a clue as to the owner.

He chuckled and said while putting it on the stool behind him, "That's my assistant's jacket. She was a little over excited to get home and left it behind. She probably didn't even realize there was a chill in the air based on the mood she was in. I remember being that age, your age as a matter of fact." He smiled and held out the paperwork for me to sign.

As I was signing the form I realized the jacket was the evidence I needed, finding her will be easy. She works here, so I just need to come back to the store. "Shall we, if you follow me I'll lead you to my car." I said as I went back to the corner and lifted two of the boxes.

"I'll just get my jacket." He went towards the back of the store and I quickly moved behind the counter and held the jacket up to my nose. Inhaling deeply, I knew without a doubt this was Bella's sweet appealing scent a combination of freesia and strawberry. I quickly headed back to the corner before he came back.

Now that I knew with everything in me that Bella was in the area, I wanted to get home, I needed to get home. Alice must have seen this; I was going to have a discussion with my sister as soon as I walked in the door!

It took us two trips to the car to load all the boxes. Each time I entered the store the scent would hit me hard, the monster inside me longing for the taste of the blood that sang to me. My reactions were making the shopkeeper nervous. As much as I wanted to leave, he wanted me gone. I could smell the fear coming from him.

I took the last box and said goodbye without shaking his hand. If I shook his hand I didn't know if the monster would take control, just feeling the warmth of his hand and the blood pulsing through his veins would be enough for my instincts to take over. It didn't matter that he wasn't the owner of the sweet blood I longed for, the monster inside was gaining control as I stood in the store surrounded by her scent.

I was home within minutes and raced inside the house, calling out for Alice. She was quickly by my side with her wide smile that brightened every feature on her pixie like face. After getting a good look at me her smile disappeared, "Edward, what's wrong." _'Nothing could have happened I would have seen it. So why does he look like this?'_ "Edward?"

I was pacing the room, my fists balled, every muscle tight wanting to unleash my anger. Even though I had some relief no longer being exposed to the scent, my memory had stored it and the burning in my throat was still persistent.

"Alice, what have you done?" I shouted. I turned on her "You knew this and purposely held this knowledge from me. Do you know what could have happened?" I screamed at her. I was out of patience all control had been used while in the bookstore.

After hearing the confrontation, everyone in the house came into the room. Alice had a smug look on her face and her hands on her hips. Everything inside me wanted to pounce on her. Suddenly I felt a wave of calm, "Jasper Don't! Do not control my emotions right now! I could have used you about 20 minutes ago; I certainly don't need your efforts now. Alice, explain yourself right now!"

She maintained her self-righteous stance, "Edward you never would have gone had I told you what Rose and I had discovered. You would have fought me for days and punished yourself in the process. Now that you know what do you intend to do about it?"

I looked at the faces around the room; they were all puzzled except Rosalie. She stood in the entryway with her arms crossed on her chest I scanned her mind. _'Maybe this wasn't a good idea, why did I let Alice talk me into this.'_

Turning back to Alice, "So you didn't only manipulate me, you used your persuasive efforts on Rosalie too. You had no right Alice, this is not for you to decide." I began pacing again. I needed to run, get as far away from her smug face as possible.

"Edward, I saw it. It's good, let me show you."

"NO, NO! I do not want to see Alice; you know what I've been going through. I honestly don't know what you were thinking." I sat on the couch and pinched the bridge of my nose trying to gain control.

"I've seen enough! What's going on?" Esme asked.

"Ask Alice." I said as I closed my eyes and put my head back on the couch.

Everyone turned to Alice waiting for her to explain. "Rosalie and I went shopping yesterday and one of the stores I entered had the scent of Bella. I couldn't believe it, I left and told Rose what I'd found. While I was telling Rose, I had a vision of Bella. She was eating with some girl I've never seen before. They were in a local restaurant so Rosalie and I walked up and down the street to find it and we did."

"ALICE, TELL ME THAT YOU DID NOT APPROACH BELLA?" I had jumped off the couch and was screaming in her face.

"No, we just went inside so I could see if it really was the same place, we never saw Bella, Edward." She was so excited she could barely contain herself.

"So Bella's here? In Burlington?" Emmett said confused. Rosalie smacked him on the back of the head, "Haven't you been listening?"

"Please, go on Alice" Carlisle said as he took Esme's hand and they walked to the couch to sit down.

"Well, once we realized it was truly Bella, we went back to the store and purchased several books. We wanted to buy as many as possible so Edward would have to pick them up. If he went to the store himself, he might run into her. We were hoping she would be there when he went. But that didn't happen…I see that now." She came to my side and said, "Edward I'm sorry, but this is great news."

"Edward, what happened at the store?" Carlisle asked. _'Please tell me you didn't loose control'_ He remained calm but I could see the concern in his eyes.

"It was similar to the first day that Bella entered our lives. The scent was overwhelming and I had to do everything I could to control myself. Nothing happened, I never saw Bella." I said quietly.

"Edward, nothing will happen, you love Bella." Alice said excitedly.

Sighing heavily I sat on the couch and put my hands through my hair. "Alice, for someone so bright, how could you not see what this would do to me? I haven't been near Bella in a year's time; her scent brings out the very worst in me. Did you honestly believe I would get that scent and not have my instincts prevail. It took me weeks to become accustomed to the pull that her blood has for me. If she had been there I don't know if I would have been able to control myself" I leaned forward putting my head in my hands and sobbed.

When I looked up again, everyone had left the room except Alice and Carlisle. The two people closest to me had stayed to help me work through the emotions that were bombarding me.

"Edward, we need to discuss this." Carlisle said in a firm quiet tone. "What will you do now that you know Bella is in the area?"

"I don't know. I want to see her again, but I'm afraid my instincts will take over once I get near her." I was shaking my head in disbelief. How could this have happened?

"Edward, please let me show you my vision." Alice pleaded.

"No, Alice. You and I both know your visions can change. Depending on circumstances and decisions that are reached the outcome can be completely different." I said defensively. "I need to think, I need time to work through this."

"Edward, perhaps you should go to Denali and stay with Tanya. Maybe time away will help you to view this properly." Carlisle suggested.

Shaking my head, I looked up at him and said, "I'm not sure what I should do. There is a large part of me that wants to seek her out and tell her I love her, but then I remember everything that happened and I know that we have no future." I got up from the couch and began pacing again. "You're right Carlisle, I need time to think…I'm going for a run!" I swiftly walked out the door and ran faster and further than I had since coming to Vermont.

* * *


	21. Toe Curling Kisses

**Toe Curling Kisses**

**Nothing from the Twilight Series or Ms. Meyers works belong to me!**

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BPOV

When I returned home last night Ian had been waiting for me in the common room. When he heard me come in he came directly into the hall and removed my pack from my shoulders, putting it over his own. He gave me a quick kiss on my cheek, took my hand and led me out on the back deck.

He had converted the deck into our own private terrace. It was truly enchanting. The chiminea had been lit and there was a small table set up with covered plates. On the railing of the deck were candles and the entire deck was glowing with the light emanating from them. He sat me down at the table and lifted the cover off the plate. I laughed as I saw what he had prepared for dinner, hot dogs, Cole slaw, potato salad and chips. "You knew I didn't know how to cook, but even I can cook a hot dog" he smiled as he shrugged.

We talked through our meal, filling each other in on our days. After we had finished dinner, I said, "That was a nice little surprise. Thank you." I smiled at him as he stood to start clearing away the dishes.

"The evening is still young. Do you have any homework you need to do before tomorrow's classes?" he asked while carrying the dishes into the kitchen.

"Nope, I took care of all my assignments this weekend, why?" I asked him hoping he didn't have any homework himself.

"Because, I was thinking that we could continue sitting on the back deck while you had desert." He said sheepishly while pulling a box out of the refrigerator. He turned back to me and said, "Since you and I are both free, let me get you settled." Putting the box on the table, he pushed me towards the door and back out on the deck.

"Desert? Ian, what was in the box?" I questioned him shyly.

"Never mind, you are to just sit here and relax, while I finish my preparations." He gestured to the chaise lounge. I sat on it gently and looked up at him. "Bella, don't be difficult, sit back and relax." He said chuckling.

I sat back on the chair and he reached over to the other one and pulled a blanket over me. "It's beginning to get cool, are you warm enough?"

"Uh huh, this is great." I smiled and closed my eyes.

"Good, I'll be right back."

As I was waiting for him to return, I began thinking how cute he was to go to the effort of making me a meal even though he didn't cook. I really wasn't much of a hot dog person, but I ate it anyway because he had gone to such measures to put a smile on my face. One of these days I was going to have to tell him hot dogs aren't my thing, but we had time for that tale.

I heard the door open and turned to see Ian returning with a small plate and a cup of something hot. I grinned and asked, "Okay, what's that?"

He put the cup and plate on our dinner table and as I went to stand he said, "No, just let me finish, you're having your desert right there." Looking around the deck, he pulled a small table that had been in the corner of the deck and set it alongside the lounge chair. Quickly he walked back to the dining table and grabbed the cup and plate, placing them gently on the table he had just positioned by my side.

I looked to see what he had prepared as desert, hot chocolate and chocolate covered strawberries. Smiling at him, I clapped my hands gently and said, "How did you know?"

Grinning from ear to ear, he said, "I'm glad you're pleased." Shrugging his shoulders and sitting down in the chair alongside mine, "What woman doesn't like hot cocoa and chocolate covered strawberries, or just chocolate for that matter!"

Picking up the hot cocoa and blowing gently on it before taking a sip, I teased him. "Oh I see. So you do this with all the girls, huh?" I took a small sip to hide my smile as I saw him gulping for air and beginning to stutter. As I turned to face him, I noticed he was blushing.

I started laughing then, "Ian, I was teasing you. Don't make yourself crazy, this is wonderful."

"Honestly Bella, I've never done anything like this before. I just wanted to make your evening nice." He said while he looked nervously at me.

"Well you've succeeded." I took one of the strawberries and held it out to him.

"Nope those are yours. I have my desert," he said while he smiled slyly.

At first it didn't register what he was saying and then I blushed profusely. In order to move past the moment, I began eating the strawberry. It was so ripe I had to lick the juice from the chocolate to keep it from dripping on my hands. Continuing eating until just the stem was left, I reached over put the remains back on the plate and took another sip of my cocoa. I was so busy trying my best not to make a mess I hadn't paid attention to him. When I looked over he had a look of shock on his face.

"What, do I have chocolate on my face?" I reached over and grabbed the napkin and started wiping my mouth.

Shaking his head and smiling slowly he said, "No, not at all. That was truly desert for me, watching you eat that," he nudged his head towards the plate "was the best part of my evening." He was sitting forward in his chair with his hands clasped between his knees. "Bella, do you know how enticing you are?"

Shaking my head no, I looked down at the napkin in my lap and started folding it randomly. He rose from his chair and sat alongside me on the lounge taking my hands in his. He sighed before saying, "You are enchanting and I can't seem to get enough of you. At times I like to just watch you when you are unaware, you take my breath away." He looked up and smiled shrugging his shoulder as he tried to make it less serious.

I gently shifted over on the chair and lifted the cover he had put on my legs, "Well if I'm so enchanting, why were you sitting way over there?" I said smiling.

Quickly, he grabbed my hands pulled me to my feet and kissed me quickly on the lips. He sat down spreading his legs slightly making room for me and patted the seat right in front of him. I positioned myself in the chair as he helped me adjust the blanket over both our legs. I leaned back and sighed as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Bella…" he said hesitantly. "I don't want to scare you away, but you should know I'm beginning to…well…really enjoy spending time with you." He sighed.

When he first started his statement, my heart started to quicken, when he finished I realized he was struggling with this just as much as I was. He didn't have a clue where this relationship would go and it scared him. What a relief!

My background wasn't really one that gave me anything to reference in regard to getting into a relationship. Previous experience was not going to help me. 'He' was so different from any human boy my own age, the experiences I had with 'him' were ethereal, and being in Ian's arms was reality.

Ian nudged me, "Hey did you fall asleep?"

"No, I was just thinking about what you said." I turned slightly to see his face better, "I have a feeling you held back on what you really wanted to say. You should understand that I'm not sure of this any more than you are. So taking it slow and not blurting out things is probably a good idea." I repositioned myself so that I was more on my side and could see him.

He smiled down at me, "You really are amazing do you know that?" He reached under my chin to pull my face to his kissing me gently on the lips. He started slowly, at first it was just my bottom lip and then slowly our lips were fully joined. He pulled away and looked into my eyes, he must have seen something because he moved towards me again and began kissing me again. Bringing his tongue slightly out to lick my lips I opened my mouth to allow him access. Our tongues did a slow methodical dance that ended with small kiss. We both sighed, and I put my head on his chest just enjoying this time.

I could hear his heart beating a quick pace as his hand stroked my hair. "Ian, I need to tell you something that you might not be too happy to hear." I said as my hand slowly made circles on his chest. Hearing his heart rate increase and his body tense I decided to use the same method applied when removing a band-aid. I blurted it out, "I don't really care for hot dogs." I started giggling as I felt him freeze and then relax as my words sunk in.

"Oh, is that so. Well you did pretty well in choking them down, so I must be a very good cook." He retorted while poking me in the side. "For future reference you're just going to have to give me a list of the Bella likes and dislikes" he said as he stroked my cheek.

"Ut uh, it doesn't work that way. What fun would that be if I let you know all my likes and dislikes? Don't you want to learn by trial and error? I enjoyed tonight even with the hot dogs." I smiled at him playfully.

"That's not fair Bella, I'm a guy. Guys are no good at this stuff. Don't you know that? The least you could do is give me hints on some things. Like do you dislike all beef products, or just hot dogs? What if it were a turkey dog? Would that have been more to your liking?"

Laughing I said, "Fine, my favorite meal…chicken fingers, perogies and a chocolate shake. Does that help? Based on what I've seen of your culinary skills you wouldn't be able to prepare it." I said sticking my tongue out at him.

He gently pulled my head so that it was resting on his chest again. This felt nice, really nice! I lay there enjoying the feel of his body heat. Between him, the blanket and the chiminea I was getting drowsy. "Ian…would you tell me a story?" I asked him sleepily.

As he stroked my arm he asked quietly, "A story, what kind of story?"

"I want to hear about you as a child, tell me a story you remember from when you were growing up." I smiled as I thought about him as a young boy he was probably adorable.

"Humph, give me a moment and let me think which story I should share with you, hopefully one that won't scare you away. I was a bit of a handful for my mom." As he was talking he continued to stroke my arm and hearing the rumble of his voice coming from his chest was hauntingly familiar. I felt myself falling asleep to the sound of his voice as he told his story.

Waking up the next day, I found myself in my bed even though I didn't remember getting there. I peeked under the covers to see what I was wearing. Ian must have carried me to my room after I had fallen asleep, because I was fully dressed. Chuckling I got out of bed to prepare for the day.

Rox was not in the room, so I took my time in the shower. The night went by so fast yet the memories were still lingering in my head. This was a feeling I could get addicted to, it seemed like I had done nothing but smile for days. I couldn't help but grin thinking about Ian and how considerate he was. His kisses made my heart flutter and toes curl, I was beginning to live again.

My class schedule today was light, which meant I would be working additional hours at North Country. This made my decision in clothing choices a little more challenging. John preferred that I wear something a little more appropriate to work than a normal college student would wear to classes. Digging out my black jeans and navy blue v-neck sweater should fulfill the need for a bit dressier attire. After looking in the mirror I decided to enhance it with a wide belt and a pair of black boots tucking in the jeans. Voila, this should make John happy and yet I'd still be comfortable.

Grabbing my backpack I headed down the stairs to grab a bite before heading off to class. As I entered the kitchen, Roxanne and Anne were sitting at the table talking. "Hey, how are you two today?" I asked while grabbing a cup of coffee.

"Us? Who cares about us, we want details!" Roxanne shrieked.

Grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary, I sat down. Delaying the process was only going to make her nuts so I decided to stall by taking a sip of my coffee, "What details?"

Anne was laughing while she watched Roxanne's face get red. "Come on, you and Ian were awfully cozy last night. Is this a change of heart we're witnessing? We don't need to know all the details of last night, but understanding why would be great." She was leaning forward in her seat while watching me.

"You might as well say I told you so, you'll feel better. I decided to listen to your suggestion and enjoy life" I replied shrugging my shoulders.

She sat back smugly in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. "Good!" Looking at Anne she said, "Ian better be good to her or I'll smack him around like there's no tomorrow."

"Don't worry about Ian," she said as she pointed her thumb at me "she may not know it yet, but he's wrapped around her little finger. I've haven't seen a guy look this love sick since Drake started with you" she laughed. "Seriously though, it's great having you two around, it's nice not feeling like I'm hanging out with the three musketeers anymore."

"As much as I'd like to continue this chat, I've got to get to class." I said taking my coffee mug to the sink to wash it out. "I'll see you later tonight, I'm working at North Country until 8:00."

After classes, I headed to work leisurely walking down Church Street. The days were getting much cooler pretty quickly; the leaves were just beginning to turn. From what John had told me his business would pick up in the next couple of weeks as people headed to view the fall foliage. This was an experience I was looking forward to; everyone had told me it was their favorite time of the year.

John was behind the counter when I came in, "Hey John. What's on the agenda for today?"

"Good Afternoon. How about I begin teaching you how to process the Internet orders?" he asked as he came around the counter.

"That would be great, it will probably help me to understand my Integrating Technology class better." I replied excitedly. Walking behind the counter and taking a seat on the stool, I logged onto his site.

He began showing me the process and within two orders he felt comfortable enough to head back to his office and let me finish. I was deeply engrossed in calculating the orders and printing them when I heard the door open. Reaching under the counter to grab the orders I printed I called out, "Good afternoon, can I help you?"

"Yes, you can. I'd like to see your beautiful smile please."

My heart started racing as I heard his familiar voice and I jerked my head up to look into his beautiful face. I couldn't help but smile at the man standing in front of me.

"That's an easy request to fill, Ian. You always bring a smile to my face." I said as I leaned over the counter and kissed him.

* * *


	22. Visions Nightmares

**Visions Nightmares**

**Of course like everyone else I don't own any characters you may recognize from Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Series.**

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EPOV

Running has always helped me to expel energy and I had too much energy to spare. Correct that, it wasn't energy, it was anger, frustration and hurt, this was probably why it wasn't the anesthetic needed tonight. Frustration was the emotion that was the strongest right now.

I had run well past our property lines and covered the entire island. It wasn't for site seeing purposes so I had no idea whether or not the island had any other points of interest, nor did I care. Finding myself back at the lake in the little cove I had claimed as my own on the first day, I sat and tried to sort through everything; sobbing, screaming, pacing and finally quietly sitting…drained.

The need to hunt was strong because of the re-introduction of the sweet scent that caused this spiral. I just couldn't bring myself to get up and go. _'Edward?'_ Not wanting company at this moment I ignored her call, I didn't want to see or talk to anyone and she was definitely not the person that should be near me right now. I was still so angry with her.

_'Please Edward; I know you can hear me. I need to talk to you, we can't go through this again.'_ Alice's thoughts implored.

"Go away Alice, I'm not ready to talk." I said sternly letting my frustration with her efforts be conveyed in my tone.

She stepped up and sat down tucking her legs under her. "Ready or not, I'm here. We need to talk its important Edward. I'm not going to allow you to wallow in your self-pity. Especially when there's a chance you can change this," she said quietly. She was sitting not attempting to make eye contact with me staring off into the mountains. _'He has to know I'm not leaving until he hears what I have to say. He has to change this, he has to understand'_ she thought as I listened.

Abruptly standing, I turned to walk away while saying, "Alice I don't need to hear what you have to say, it's like a broken record in my mind. You have always been the one to encourage me to be with Bella, it was never a struggle for you. Everyday I was with Bella was a strain, wanting her blood, wanting her and not being able to act on it. It was easy for you, you didn't have the internal struggles." I retreated into the pathway.

"You're wrong Edward. I'm a vampire too, didn't you think every time Bella would hug me was hard for me as well. As much as I enjoyed seeing her blush, it still caused my stomach to clench with desire. So Edward you don't get to corner the market on pushing back desire." She wasn't upset; her tone was calm and reflective.

If she had been persistent, pleading or defensive I would have continued walking away, but her demeanor stopped me. Alice was rarely if ever as sedate as she currently appeared to be. I stood still and waited for her to continue.

"I know you are very angry Edward, you have every right to be but I have something you need to hear. If you don't listen to me now, you'll regret it the rest of your existence and I'm not sure any of us are prepared for that. So please give me 10 minutes and then I'll leave you to your thoughts" she said seriously.

Without saying a word, I walked back and sat beside her. Not knowing what it was she had to say and hoping it wasn't another lecture on how good Bella and I were for one another, I waited.

She sighed and let out a sob, "Edward, you need to see my visions." Instantly I was on my feet. "Wait" she said as she grabbed my leg. "There's a reason you need to see my visions, please note Edward I said **visions**, as in plural. Bella is in serious danger."

If I had a heart it would have stopped beating, a rush of air escaped my lips and I began shaking all over. What was she talking about? What was going to happen to my angel? "Show me! I stated in a panic.

"You have to understand my visions of Bella are not what they used to be. Because we've been away from her for so long and I only had a faded scent, the visions are incomplete. I'm sorry Edward, but I can't identify much in the visions." She said seriously, staring at me trying to get me to understand how important this was.

"Alice, show me the damn visions." I was getting impatient with her; I wanted to shake her until she opened her mind to me. Just then I saw a quick vision of Bella's face, my angel. I fell to my knees; my memories didn't do her beauty justice. Alice's vision cleared a little and I was able to see that she appeared to be sleeping in my car, suddenly her eyes opened and she smiled. The vision disappeared. It took me a moment and I said, "What was that Alice, that didn't mean anything I don't understand what you are seeing?"

"That was the vision I had at the bookstore, I could tell she was in your car and when she woke up she was happy to see you. She was more than happy she was fulfilled. Now I need to show you the vision I had today." She said quietly.

Again, the vision appeared in my mind, again Bella was sleeping in my car, her eyes were opening but then she looked angry, very angry, she moved against the door defensively. Then the vision disappeared. "Alice what the hell does any of this mean, why are you showing me these visions? I can't make sense of them, so why torture me?" I said angrily.

"The second vision was almost the same as the first, the best guess I can make is that one of you has made a decision that has altered the first vision. Have you Edward? Have you made a decision while you've been out? I don't know what exactly changed, but something happened Edward. The vision that concerns me the most is the third vision I had about 20 minutes ago, let me show you." She was doing everything in her power to remain calm, what could she have possibly seen to shake her so badly.

In my mind I saw Bella running, it appeared she was running for her life. Suddenly someone grabbed her, shaking her. She was turned around and the panic in her face was disarming. Abruptly she was thrown to the ground. I couldn't see who was attacking her, only the back of him. I couldn't breath; I was clutching my chest…no, no, no. The vision ended with just a view of Bella on the ground. I couldn't stand, clawing at the ground screaming out, Alice came to my side sobbing as we clutched at each other.

When I could gather myself to speak again I grabbed Alice by the shoulders, "Alice, is Bella alright? Who was that hurting Bella? Is there anything else, anything?" I asked panicked. She kept shaking her head no; she was beside herself with grief.

This couldn't be happening, she was supposed to live a less perilous life without me and other vampires around. She was supposed to enjoy being human, have children, experience everything good life had to offer, how could this happen? Who would want to hurt Bella? I was pacing, how could I help her if I only had this vision to go on?

"Alice there has to be something else, I'm begging you, please try again!"

"Edward, I can't force these visions, you know that. I'm just as upset about this as you are," she said sobbing. "There's nothing else to give you. Don't you think if there was some way to identify what was going to happen and when I'd tell you!" she shouted at me as she pulled away.

"Alice, what's going on?" Jasper asked as he came through to the pathway.

I stood rigid looking at Alice, no longer mad at her but wanting to find the answers to all of the questions racing through my mind. I felt a wave of calm come over me, "Jasper, I appreciate your efforts, but now is not the time. I need to think, Alice tell him what you've seen. I'll be back."

"Where are you going Edward? We need to decide how we are going to stop this, you can't just leave." Alice shrieked.

"I'm not leaving, I need to hunt."

_'Edward, I'll join you and Emmett should come as well'_ Jasper thought. '_You can tell me what Alice's vision was while we hunt.'_ "Alice we'll be back soon, whatever it is we'll figure it out" he kissed Alice and we began running back to the house to get Emmett.

As we approached the house, we called out to Emmett knowing he would hear. Within moments he came running out and we took off for the woods. I ran ahead of them trying to clear my mind, Alice's vision kept replaying in my head. There had to be a way to change this vision, I couldn't let it come true I just didn't know how to stop it.

We found a spot to feed alleviating one of my problems. While I waited for them to finish I sat on a rock with my head in my hands, my tension seemed to be lessening somewhat and I knew immediately it was because Jasper was helping. Then his thoughts came to me, _'Are you ready to tell me about Alice's vision?'_

"Visions." I corrected him without making eye contact. Although he had lessened the tension, my emotions were still a mess. He would know soon enough, I'm sure Alice had told the rest of the family. There were no secrets in our household. Emmett had joined us, but had remained quiet as I began telling them both of the visions that Alice had shown me.

"There's only one choice to make Edward, you need to turn Bella. You need to do it before she gets hurt." Emmett said with certainty, nodding his head towards Jasper attempting to get him to agree.

"That's not an option, Emmett." Jasper began quietly. "Due to Alice's second vision, it appears that Bella will not be pleased to see Edward. We don't know why, but since she won't, the likelihood that she'll agree to become one of us is pretty slim. If Edward approaches her with this option, it may result in dire consequences for him."

"We need to find a solution and quickly, every minute we delay, Bella's life is in danger. This isn't like previous times where we knew who was after her and what was going to happen. The vision that Alice had was too vague, we don't know who is close to Bella or what she is doing. If we knew some things about her life today, we might be able to figure it out." I said as I began to pace again.

"That's it! You figured it out Edward!" Emmett exclaimed excitedly. "We'll go to the bookstore and find out her hours and then we'll tail her."

"What? We can't just walk into the bookstore and ask about her hours, tail her…we can't…wait, this just might work." I said thinking it through.

"He's right Edward, it's the only way." Jasper said looking at me while sending out a wave of serenity.

"Okay, let's head back to the house and discuss this with Carlisle." I said as I began running.

When we got back to the house everyone was gathered in the living room. Alice had informed them of the visions she had. The mood in the room was oppressive and as we entered they all stopped talking, but I could hear their thoughts…_'Poor Edward'_… _'Lovely Bella, Charlie will want to be here, we should find a way to get him here'_…. _'If possible I'll make sure she's under my care.'_ I shook my head clearing their thoughts from my mind in order to concentrate on what needed to be said.

"There may be a way to stop this from happening." I announced to everyone. "I've decided to follow Bella from a distance and make sure nothing happens to her. I plan on going to the bookstore and wait to see if she reports for work. I'll stay there everyday until she does, hopefully we won't be too late." I told them. This had to work; it was our only option. Hopefully nothing has happened since last night.

"Will you approach her?" Alice asked timidly. I knew what she was thinking; she was concerned about her second vision.

"No, I'll keep my distance. She'll never know I'm there." I said dryly. This would be one of the hardest things I'd ever done. Being so close to my angel, yet not getting near enough to breath her scent. Or worse yet, being down wind of her and having the monster awaken. I shuddered. This must be done; I would ensure she would be safe. "As soon as I change, I'm leaving. I'll call with any news." Heading up to my room to change helped; having a course of action to change the vision was making it easier to cope.

It was early evening when I made it to Church Street, scanning faces and thoughts I sniffed the air for any scent of her. There was nothing that helped find her on the street so I made my way to the bookstore. Across the street was an alleyway where I remained waiting for someone to enter or exit the store. Not knowing if she was inside, I had to rely on someone else to go into the store so I could scan their thoughts upon entering and leaving.

The wait wasn't very long before someone entered the store, a young man. I quickly moved to the doorway behind him. Then I heard her voice, 'Good Afternoon, can I help you'. My head was spinning; the sound was like music to my ears. I had to get closer; my desire to look in the window was overwhelming.

Edging closer to the window to get a view of inside I heard him respond, 'Yes, you can. I'd like to see your beautiful smile please.' A growl started building in my chest as I heard his thoughts, '_God she looks great, she's beautiful. Look at that smile.'_ Who was this guy? What did he represent to Bella's life?

Her beautiful voice answered this question for me, 'That's an easy request to fill, Ian. You always bring a smile to my face.' If I had a heart it would have stopped beating as those words left her lips. This couldn't be, my Bella flirting with someone else. No, oh god, no. My stomach dropped and I felt my knees giving way. I glanced in the window and what I saw made me freeze, my love…my angel kissing this boy. It couldn't be, she couldn't have moved on.

Running from the front of the store, I pulled out my cell and called Jasper. "Jasper, I can't do this. You need to come and keep an eye on her, I can't be the one to do this." I said trying very hard to keep my voice from cracking. "Alice's second vision makes complete sense now, please hurry."

"Alice and I will be right there Edward."

Moments later the boy who had stolen my love's heart exited the store. I was torn, wanting to follow him and rip him to shreds, or stay and protect Bella. Knowing that ripping him apart wasn't the answer; I waited for Alice and Jasper.

Walking back to the storefront, I glanced inside. Bella was behind the counter with her elbows on it and her chin in her hands. She was smiling her wonderful smile, the smile that she used to wear just for me. No, I couldn't do this; it was killing me. I longed to go into the store and take her into my arms and claim her as my own. As I was watching from the window, she came around the counter and I was blessed with a view beyond compare. My lovely Bella, head to toe…she was like a salve to my non-existent soul.

A sob was escaping my lips as I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning to the source, I crumbled in Alice's arms. "Take him home, I'll keep an eye on Bella." Jasper mumbled as he patted me on the back.

Alice took my arm and we walked back to the Volvo. "Edward, I'm so sorry." If she had been capable of crying she would have.

"I can't do this Alice. There's no room in Bella's life for me now. The only good thing that has ever happened to me has moved on, it's over forever. Knowing what I know, there's no way I can watch over her!"

"Please Edward, take some time to think about what you're saying." She said while patting my hand to console me. "You know eventually you will think this over and decide the only person able to watch over Bella will be you. Whether you want to believe it or not, you are her angel, Edward. You've saved her on countless occasions; this is just another moment you need to be there for her. You'll never forgive yourself otherwise."

Hanging my head I nodded. Time I needed time to adjust to Bella's new life. After all this is what I had claimed I wanted for her. So now I had to live with that decision.

* * *


	23. Hot Air, Cool Breezes

**Hot Air, Cool Breezes**

**Nothing from the Twilight Series or Ms. Meyers works belong to me!**

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BPOV

It was early October already; the leaves were just beginning to change to their wondrous glory. Sprinkled in with the green leaves of the mountains, were some bright reds and yellows. Each morning I wake, open the curtains and check the progress of the change. The view outside my window was so spectacular I'd never take it for granted; unlike my friends from the area, they thought I was being a bit melodramatic about it all. There were never any season changes that could compare with this where I came from.

During the past couple of weeks, Ian and I had spent a great deal of time together. He came to North Country on the nights I worked late and would walk me back to the house. Our time together was spent discovering more about one another. On several occasions I would make him tell me stories about his past, he'd chuckle and say 'another story Bella…no wonder you're an English major.'

It turns out that he and Drake liked to indulge in outdoor activities quite a bit. He owned a jet ski and Drake owned a couple of snowmobiles and whenever they were home in NY State, they would take advantage of their time to ride the toys. Ian couldn't wait for the first snow; he wanted to take me to his home so he could have me ride on Drake's snowmobile. I tried to tell him that snow wasn't something I appreciated, but he claimed that was because I hadn't been treated to all the great things about it.

Today I had to work the morning at the store, afterwards Ian and I would spend the day together. Roxanne was in the shower, so I ran downstairs to have some breakfast while I waited my turn.

Being early in the house on a Saturday, there was no one around, everyone was sleeping. Walking into the kitchen, I made the coffee for everyone and grabbed some bread to make toast. As I was preparing my meal, I kept getting the feeling that someone was watching me. It was a faint feeling, but one that kept me turning around to see if anyone had joined me. Shrugging my shoulders, don't let your imagination get the best of you, I thought. You just haven't been up this early when no one else was awake.

The coffee finished so I put my bread in the toaster, grabbed a cup and sat at the kitchen table. Enjoying a quiet cup of coffee with nothing but my thoughts was actually a treat; usually there was always someone in the kitchen. The morning looked so beautiful I decided to take my breakfast out on the deck. As I was going out the door something caught my eye, quickly turning around, my eyes scanned the room but there was nothing. Odd, I could have sworn that something had moved. Just creeping myself out.

Repositioning one of the chairs so it would get the morning sun I sat and relaxed. The sun wasn't as strong as in the summer but it was warm enough to keep me from getting a chill. My back was to the door so as to face the mountains in the distance, smiling I thought of the coming weeks. Roxanne and Drake were planning a huge Halloween party for the house. She was possessed with the planning and wanted to take me for costumes.

Suddenly I felt someone sitting beside me, being engrossed in my thoughts I never heard the door open. "Good Morning Bella, you look nice." Derrick said. Oh God, not this guy! He smiled at me, but it wasn't a warm smile…it wasn't even his goofy looking smile. I felt a shudder run through me. "Derrick." I said turning back to the view rudely. I couldn't be nice, it would only encourage him to stay and that was the last thing I needed.

"You and Ian seem to be hot and heavy, what's the deal with that?" he asked as he moved his chair so I had to look at him. This was getting ridiculous not even being terse helped dissuade him. "My relationships don't concern you Derrick." I stood up and started walking towards the door, "Good bye." "I'll be seeing you Bella" I heard him call out as the door closed.

His advances had diminished as Ian and I had become closer and I actually thought he had decided to stay away. Apparently I was wrong, he was just waiting for an opportunity to catch me without Ian. When I entered my room, Roxanne was dressed and standing in front of the mirror applying her makeup. "Hey, where were you?" she asked casually.

"I went down for a bite to eat. The house is kind of creepy when no one's up." I said while grabbing my things for the shower. "Speaking of creepy, Derrick ran into me downstairs, that's why I came back."

She turned around and looked at me concerned, "He didn't try anything, did he?" She stood facing me waiting for an answer.

"No, he was just being a pest." I said waving my hand in dismissal. "Look, I have to get ready for work, so I'll see you later." I said as I went into the bathroom.

"Okay! Hey…Drake and I are going to wait for you and Ian this afternoon. We'll all do something fun."

"Sounds good," I shouted out to her as I turned on the water. While taking my shower, I kept thinking about the creepy feeling of someone watching me. Thinking back on the feeling I had in the kitchen made my skin crawl. I adjusted the water so it was warmer, trying to shake the feeling. 'Cut it out, you're just being silly' I thought.

While washing my hair I vowed to catch up with Charlie, Renee and Jake. It had been weeks since I had spoke with any of them. Spending so much time with Ian had distracted me from calling them; Renee was sent photos and a couple of quick emails but I really needed to call her before she sent out the National Guard.

Quickly getting dressed, I threw my jeans and Royal Blue turtleneck on before beginning the process of blow-drying my hair. Smiling I remembered the last time I wore this sweater; Ian just stared at me before approaching me for a kiss. Although the sweater was a turtleneck, it had an oval cut out just below the neckline that went to just above my cleavage. The sleeves were kimono style but the torso was snug fitting. Remembering how he grabbed my hand and twirled me around, 'let me see' he said. Then he lightly ran his finger up the oval cut out, gently touching the exposed skin. I couldn't speak and my knees went weak for a moment. He just smiled and said 'you should wear this sweater more often, it really looks great on you.'

Hoping he wasn't downstairs, I ran down grabbed my things and left. I wanted to surprise him when he came to the store later.

John was standing in the main area of the store when I came in. "Good Morning Bella," he called as he continued adjusting a display.

"Hey Boss, creating a new focus point for the customers." I said as I approached the table. Looking to see what he was setting up I chuckled, the display was covered with an array of titles that all had to do with ghosts…monsters…weird VT anything to promote the Halloween theme. "Well it looks like someone has gotten into the spirit." I said going behind the counter.

"That's retail, you need to keep up with the times and promote the current holiday." John smiled as he walked over with a book in his hand. He put it down and came around to set me up with the orders I needed to process today. "There are quite a few orders here that need to be handled carefully. They are from long time customers who are serious collectors, so make sure to use the gloves when packing their books." He said pulling the orders he was referring to from the stack.

"Hey speaking of that, I never asked how it went with that big order." I asked as I skimmed through the papers.

"What big…oh, yeah. It went well, a young man came in to pick them up. It took us two trips to his car. He was an odd one," he shrugged his shoulders. "For some reason he made my nerves edgy…there wasn't anything particularly menacing about him, he was just a kid. About your age," he said as he walked back to the display.

"Well, do you think they'll come back?" I asked.

"You never know, it would be nice, but being in retail as long as I have you learn not to count on anyone's loyalty these days." He responded as he finished with his display. "I'll be in the back paying bills if you need me."

I began the process of picking and packing the on-line orders. This was one of my favorite jobs because I really enjoyed seeing what people were ordering and reading. It introduced me to new titles and I kept a pad by my side so I could jot down books that looked like they would hold my interest.

Time passed quickly as there were many more customers now that business was picking up. During my packing process I was interrupted several times by customers who would enter the store. Before I knew it, my shift had ended and it was time to leave. Ian hadn't arrived yet, so I went back to the counter to wait. Straightening it up, I noticed the book John had left earlier. 'Blood Read: The Vampire as Metaphor in Contemporary Culture', staring at the cover my hands started shaking. It had been so long since I had given vampires a thought, I didn't know if this was a good thing or not.

Just then I heard someone enter, "Are you ready to go gorgeous?" I turned to him and he rushed to my side, "Bella, what's wrong?" He was holding my face in his hands, as I looked into his face and saw all the concern and worry, I knew then that not thinking about vampires was a good thing; a very good thing.

Putting the book on the counter, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. "I'm fine now, let me get my things."

"Bella, you scared me. Are you sure you're okay? You're face, I don't know how to describe it…you looked scared and sad all at the same time." He said as he picked up the book looking at its cover. "Is this what scared you?" he asked perplexed as he looked at me.

"Ian I'm fine," I said taking the book from his hands and placing it back on the counter. "You startled me when you came in, that's all. John, I'm heading out" I shouted out while staring into Ian's eyes.

"Have a great day kids. It's turned out to be a beauty." John stated as he came out of his office.

Ian's expression still held worry as he stroked my cheek. He looked up at John and said, "We plan on it, Bella will tell you all about it tomorrow." He smiled as he took my hand and led me out the door.

"We will huh, what will we be doing?" I said as we walked up Church Street.

"The first thing we'll be doing is this," he pulled me into him and began kissing me. His tongue slowly defining my lips as they parted for him. "Now" he said as he pulled away "we'll be heading to the park to meet Roxanne and Drake."

"Okay, but are you sure you don't want to stay here and kiss more?" I asked him teasingly.

"Yes, but you need to eat." Pulling my hand so I kept pace with him, he continued, "Besides you know I can't resist that sweater. I'm afraid, that we would cause a scene in the street." He chuckled.

"Good...food, I'm starved. What's for lunch?" I couldn't help but smile about the sweater…wise choice on my part.

"You'll see. Now, would you like to _really_ tell me what was wrong when I came into the store?" he asked seriously.

"Nothing, honest. You startled me that's all." I lied, it's not like I could tell him what was going on in my head. "Look, there they are" I said pointing to Drake and Roxanne.

They were settled under a tree with a blanket and some bags. Caught up in their own world, they never saw us approaching. I ran forward and jumped to the ground, grabbing one of the bags. "Hey you two. What's for lunch…I'm so hungry." Ian came up and sat beside me pulling the bag from my hand.

"Slow down spunky. I'll get you fed." He began pulling things out of the bags and placing them on the blanket, he rummaged through them until a big smile came to his face. "Okay, this is what I was looking for" he pulled a cup out of the bag, put a straw in it and handed it to me.

Clapping my hands and grinning I said, "You are too good to me! A Chocolate Milkshake! YEAH!" I took the shake from him and started drinking it right away. It was perfect, I was very particular about my milkshakes they couldn't be so thick that drinking it through a straw was impossible, but I also didn't like them when they were too thin that drinking it was like drinking a glass of chocolate milk.

"Slow down, you'll get a brain freeze," he said laughing. "Besides, you should have some of these too" he said as he held out a container of chicken fingers. Watching my face, he smiled when I grinned at what he had bought. "Better than hot dogs?" he asked.

"Much, much better." I said as I leaned over kissing him on the cheek.

"No displays of public indecency. We're in a park with kids, keep it clean." Drake said laughing as Roxanne shoved him to the ground.

"You should talk, before you guys came I could barely keep him off me." She said as she took one of the bags to get something to eat.

Between bites I asked, "So what's up after lunch?"

Roxanne looked to Drake and Ian, "I don't know they won't tell me. They definitely have something planned though; these two are terrible at trying to hide things. They get that devilish look and grin too much. So guys, what's the deal?"

Drake handed Roxanne her drink and said, "Just eat Rox, you'll find out soon enough." He picked up his own lunch and started eating.

We sat and talked while we ate enjoying the late afternoon. After lunch, I moved closer to Ian and leaned against him while we watched all the people in the park. I glanced over and saw a swing set, "Hey, wanna push me on the swing?"

"Sure, I'd be happy to. Come on", he grabbed my hand helping me up. We walked over to the swings, as I sat down he started pushing me. Laughing I urged him to push me harder. Soon I was flying in the swing with my feet out and pumping to get more height. It got to the point where he couldn't push me any longer so he walked around to the front and watched me smiling the whole time.

Flying and loving it, the height of the swing was about equal with the tallest part of the set and I was beaming. My feet were pumping to keep the height, but I was beginning to feel unbalanced. Holding tighter to the chains, I stopped pumping but it was a little too late, the swing was shifting from side to side now as I felt myself falling. Landing in the sand I started laughing.

Ian came running up helping me to my feet brushing me off. "How on earth could you fall off a child's swing? Are you hurt?" although he was concerned he was laughing.

"Yes, I'm fine" I said between gasps of air. "That was wonderful and I didn't get hurt. Do you know how good that is, maybe I'm not such a klutz anymore", smiling up at him while he held my shoulders.

"Too bad, I would have liked the opportunity to kiss it and make it better."

"Don't let that stop you…kiss away." I said leaning into him. He pulled my face up to his and kissed me, his lips left mine as he continued kissing my cheeks and forehead. "Public place remember," I said sighing.

Hugging me to his chest, he rested his head on mine. "You're right, we need to get back to the house anyway. You need to change into something warmer." He took my hand and we walked back to Drake and Roxanne to clean up and head for home.

When we got into the house, I turned "So warmer huh, any other hints you want to give me."

"Nothing loose, warm and snug is appropriate. Comfortable shoes, sneakers would be best. You also might want to pull your hair back." Smiling at me he said, "Go, make it quick, we're going to be late."

Roxanne and I ran to our room. Clothes were flying everywhere as we rushed to get back downstairs. We tried to guess what they had planned before deciding to just enjoy ourselves. Dressed in jeans, turtleneck and a lined hoodie, I was ready.We headed back downstairs and the guys were waiting at the door.

"Let's go." Drake said putting his arm over Roxanne's shoulder.

Ian leaned into my neck kissing me lightly behind my ear and whispered, "I liked the sweater better, but you still look great." Oh...this boy made my blood race, I didn't care where we were headed as long as he was with me. Tugging on his arm, I pulled him outside following Drake and Roxanne.

As we strolled down the street, I wondered where we were going and realized we were approaching City Park. More people were crowding the walk heading in the same direction as us. I didn't recall reading about any events planned for this weekend, and then I saw what it was. There were hot air balloons all over the field. "Oh my, Ian this is wonderful." I gasped. It was beautiful, early twilight had descended and the balloons were illuminated by lights highlighting the different shapes and colors.

He held me tighter to his side as the crowds gathered to enter the park. "I'm glad you're excited, we're going up in one. Drake and I made reservations a couple of weeks back."

Roxanne came running over, "Bella, we're taking a hot air balloon ride. Can you believe it?" I've never seen her so excited; she was like a little kid.

"Well if you run off like that again you aren't going anywhere." Drake smiled. She jumped up in his arms wrapping herself around him. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise." She replied excitedly.

As we came closer to the balloons I was in awe. They were lined up on each side of a path, tethered to the ground. The hot air was blowing up in plumes of fire keeping the balloons inflated. The colors and shapes standing out in contrast with the sky, some were the average balloon shape, but there was one that was like Noah's ark, animals and all. I just walked the path with Ian by my side looking up at all the balloons, mesmerized.

We approached a man behind a podium and Ian handed him the tickets. He directed us to a young girl who guided us to the balloon we would be taking for a ride. It was a balloon with a big frog on it, one side showed the front of the frog and the other side showed his backside. I grinned from ear to ear thinking how much fun this would be. As we approached the balloon she said, "This will be your captain and his assistant."

There before us was a friendly looking man with glasses; hat and a smile that made his eyes squint. "Hi I'm Dave and this is my wife Duanette. We're going to be taking you up and my ground team will follow us and get you back here when it's over. The preliminaries will take a couple of minutes as I explain what needs to happen, you will all be helping get us off the ground and then again when we land. It's a great evening for a ride, so you'll really enjoy this."

After giving us our instructions we all climbed into the basket and prepared for our ride to begin. Take off was a little scary as the basket lifted off the ground swaying slightly, but Ian held me tight. Once we were higher I felt more comfortable and turned in his arms, "Ian, this is wonderful. I've never…it's great." I sighed leaning into him and he cradled me to his chest.

"Bella, you make me want to do things like this for you. I've never been romantic, but when I read about this, I just had to bring you." He tilted his head down and kissed me so passionately I was left breathless. We turned and glided through the evening watching the sunset from above the ground. The wind blowing against our faces, the leaves in various shades of red, yellow and orange with the sky darkening as the sun dipped below the mountains, making everything magical beyond compare.

During the ride we had champaign and toasted to the beauty around us. Duanette and Dave told us about their many flights and stories of people they encountered along the way. All too soon the ride was ending and we were nearing our marked destination for the ground crew to meet us. We slowly started descending and Dave instructed us on landing instructions again. The balloon was descending quicker than I expected and drifting slightly. When we were within feet from the ground the basket started swaying more as Dave managing the burner to adjust our landing. Our job was to begin positioning the sand bag ballasts to weigh down the basket.

When we hit the ground the basket tumbled over and the ballast sand bags dislodged and fell against me. I felt something snap my arm, I screamed out in pain. I watched as Ian struggled to disentangle himself from the balloon and ballasts, while I tried to see what was wrong with my arm. Dave made it to my side first and tried to help me get my arm free, he lifted the sand bag away from my arm and I immediately screamed again from the movement. Oh my God the pain, was excruciating.

"Hold on Bella, I need to get your sleeve out of the way" he said as he tore my sleeve open. Dave's face drained of color as he looked at my arm, Ian was finally free and by my side. I saw his eyes move to my arm and the look of shock scared me. I looked down and saw my bone jutting out and blood everywhere. The smell of rust and copper hit me and all went black as I lost consciousness.

* * *


	24. Growing Up

**Growing Up **

**Of course like everyone else I don't own any characters you may recognize from Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Series.**

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EPOV

My family was helping to keep an eye on Bella over the past few weeks. I still hadn't been able to go myself yet. I allowed my family to do my job for me, I was miserable; they were all pitching in and taking shifts so she was never alone. Beating myself up daily with thoughts of how juvenile I was acting, nearly compelled me to go myself. Then the fear of seeing Bella in his arms again would torment and paralyze me. Everyone kept me aware of Bella's safety and only gave the information necessary to ease my mind.

So far she was safe, nothing threatening or menacing was happening. From what I saw in their thoughts, she was happy. Her classes brought her a great deal of joy, the friends she'd made were better than any she had ever had in Forks. All of this information encouraged me to realize that I'd made the right decision. If only I could get over the possessive feeling that overwhelmed me whenever I thought about the kiss I witnessed.

Alice came to my room and sat beside me on the couch. _'Edward, are you ever going to check on Bella yourself. If you can't I understand, but then we need to let destiny take its course because we can't watch her for the rest of her life,'_ she sighed.

"Are you tired of watching out for your best friend already Alice." I spat the words at her, I wanted her to hurt as badly as I did.

"That's not fair. You know I love Bella, but Edward we're watching over her safety for you. Everything we're doing is to keep her safe for you. If you aren't going to convince her that you belong together, then I have to ask why are we doing this?" Her response tore my heart open. What was I doing, did I want her to be mine, of course I did, but she moved on. There was no room for me any longer.

Staring at the ceiling I replied, "You are right Alice. I need to help Bella the only way I can and that's protecting her. Let me change and I'll go to her." I stood up preparing to leave.

"Will you approach her Edward," she said with concern.

"No, I'll just watch and protect her." My face was a mask hiding the pain this caused me. But I knew I had to do this, it wasn't fair to burden my family with my responsibility. Maybe seeing her again happy and content would help me to move on.

Alice left my room and I quickly dressed. Finding Jasper downstairs I asked, "She should be at her work correct?"

He nodded, "Emmett is there. Are you sure you want to go? Your emotions are raging Edward."

Sitting down beside him I said, "Yes it's time. I wanted this for her Jasper, but selfishly I wanted her to want me more. Now I see I was right all along, Bella wasn't prepared to give it all up for me. It would have been disastrous had I changed her."

"You don't know that. Listen to me, Edward; sometimes you actually act like a 17 year old. That girl loved you with all her heart; I'm the one person in this house that can tell you that…because I felt her emotions for you. You're the one who threw it all away; you threw her love back at her like it was worthless and walked away for a year. Did you really expect her to wait for you to come strolling back in her life? She doesn't even know where you are right now, so grow up." He scowled at me, "Phew that felt good…it was a long time coming and now that I've said it to you I feel better. Sorry, but you needed to hear that." He looked over at me again.

Standing, clenching my fists I looked at him and nodded my head. "I'll call later."

While I drove to downtown Burlington I thought about everything Jasper had said. He was correct, this was entirely my fault and I had to do something to change it. My head was spinning with protecting Bella, wondering what she would do if I did approach her, wondering if I should approach her… If I weren't a vampire my head would be killing me!

Pulling up to a parking spot next to Emmett's, I quickly exited to find him. He was sitting at a restaurant close to the store. "What are you doing out here?"

"I can't really go into the bookstore now, can I? I decided to sit here and watch all the customers come and go. You don't really expect her to be abducted from her work place? He said sarcastically. "Hey, what made you decide to come?" he asked without losing the sarcasm in his tone.

"It was time I took responsibility for myself." I said quietly.

He put a hand on my shoulder as he stood. "Edward this has to be tough on you. But if you ask me you should take out this guy she's with. Knock him around, grab her and let her know how you feel. She's Bella, she'll come around once you explain." He was shaking his head as he said this. Everything with Emmett was so simple, just grab her and explain.

Shaking my head as well, "It's never that easy Emmett, but thanks. You can head home; I'll be with her today. I'll call if anything happens."

"Okay, Edward if you want I'll keep that guy busy while you talk to her. I know she loves you still, you should think about it." He patted me on the shoulder as he turned to leave.

Hiding in the shadows I moved closer to the store so I could hear anything being said inside. It was another beautiful day and it wouldn't be good if I were spotted shining like a diamond. Fortunately this side of the street was in the shade so there was no problem standing here. Thinking about everything that had happened in the past few weeks, I knew that something had to change, this wasn't fair to my family or me. I needed to make up my mind about Bella.

Getting impatient and wanting to see her again, I peeked in the window; she was in front of the counter, holding a book. She looked so beautiful, even though I couldn't see her face, just knowing it was her made me smile. Then I heard someone approaching, I ducked back into the shadows, _'I can't wait till she sees the day I have planned. I know she'll like lunch, it's the ride I'm worried about.'_ He opened the door to the bookstore and I realized it was him, her boyfriend…I continued to listen.

"Are you ready to go gorgeous?" Bella, what's wrong?" _'What's wrong, she looks so sad and what else…scared'_ he thought. Having to see what he was seeing I rushed to the window in time to see her face, he was right she was scared and sad. What was wrong, no one was in the store other than the owner. Had I missed something…

Just then she kissed him and I heard her say, "I'm fine now, let me get my things." My fists balled and my stomach clenched. This was going to be a challenging day. Especially since he apparently had plans for the two of them. I was going to have to learn to deal with this jealousy and quickly…Bella's safety, that's what I needed to focus on.

"Bella, you scared me. Are you sure you're okay? Your face, I don't know how to describe it…you looked scared and sad all at the same time. Is this what scared you?" he asked her. Peeking into the window again to see what he was talking about, I saw him holding a book. It looked like I was going to have to see what the book was in order to tell if that was the cause.

She was facing the window but not looking at the window, she was too busy looking at him. She was so gorgeous, the sweater she had on did wonders for her coloring. It hugged her shape nicely and I heard his thoughts, _'she's wearing that sweater again. She looks so enticing in it, I could just grab her and start kissing and never stop'_ I felt a growl building inside me. Leave your hands off her you swine.

"Ian I'm fine, you startled me when you came in, that's all. John, I'm heading out." They were coming out; I had to get out of here quickly. I ducked into the alley down a couple of stores from the bookstore.

When I saw them leave, I decided to head into the store and find out what the book was perhaps it had some answers. I kept my mind open for any stray thoughts I might hear from her boyfriend. I heard other people but one that seemed rather close, _'she's mine; you'll see…you'll all see. It won't be long now, treat me like a piece of garbage, I'll show both of you'_. Looking around I tried to see who was thinking this; it could have been anyone on the street. There was no way to match up the tenor of the thought. I went into the store to see about the book.

When I entered, her boss wasn't too happy to see me so soon. He did a good job of masking it though, "Hi, back so soon. You couldn't have read all the books yet," he said chuckling. His thoughts were a little stronger, _'I'm glad Bella's gone, this guy is trouble; there's something not right about him.'_

I decided to dazzle him, putting on my best predator smile I said, "No, I thought I might have left my glasses here." He shrugged and said, "I haven't seen any, let me look under here" as he checked under the counter I stole a glance at the book. 'Blood Read: The Vampire as Metaphor in Contemporary Culture', that explains Bella's look. "Nope, not here. Sorry." He said shrugging his shoulders. "Thank you for checking, I've been retracing my steps for a couple of days. I'll keep looking then." I said smiling my winning smile and walked out.

Waiting for a moment on the street I scanned the minds of everyone, checking on Bella's whereabouts. I began walking in the direction they had headed when I started hearing more thoughts similar to the last disturbing ones. _'Stop it; get your hands off her, she's mine. I'm going to show you, you'll see. She belongs to me, when I show her, she'll see we belong together.'_ I looked around trying to determine who the individual was having these disturbing thoughts.

As disturbing as the thoughts were, I needed to find Bella. Moving at a fast pace, I quickly found them. They were standing off to the side of the street and Bella was pointing at something ahead. I was finally close enough to hear her voice, "Look, there they are". Apparently the plans for the afternoon were a picnic with another couple. Great, now I had to find a spot close enough to hear everything yet stay out of the sun. Quickly scanning the park I saw a grove of trees not far from their blanket. I moved at vampire speed and ducked into the trees.

I heard Bella as she greeted her other friends, "Hey you two. What's for lunch…I'm so hungry." Quickly followed by his thoughts, _'she's so cute when she's excited. I can't wait to show her what I bought for her lunch'_. This had to stop, I needed to block his thoughts or I'd go crazy. Tucking back further into the tree line, I decided to just keep an eye out while they had their picnic. Scanning the park to see if any of the grounds looked like the property from Alice's vision, I determined this wouldn't be where it happened. It would be safe to block their thoughts without compromising her safety.

Continuing to watch them, I paid particular attention to Bella watching her features and mannerisms. She had changed over the year, but it was a good change. Her face had become thinner, but it suited her. It made her eyes seem larger somehow, the chocolate brown pools that I loved to look into just one year ago. Getting lost in her face, her smiles, her laughter, I hadn't realized they were getting up. Staying put until I could see where they headed, I opened my mind again to scan his thoughts, _'Swings, who knew she could be such a little girl'_.

Looking in the direction they headed I saw another grove of trees closer to the swings, so I took off dodging any sun rays on the way. This was not as easy as it sounded, I'd have to really thank my family later. Bella could find the most peculiar places to enjoy life as a human!

He was pushing her on the swing and she really seemed to enjoy it, her beauty was staggering. I watched as her hair lifted when she swung forward, I could hear her laughter as she yelled to him to push her harder. No Bella, that's high enough. You could get hurt; in fact he should slow her down. What's wrong with him, why is he pushing her harder! Doesn't he see she could get hurt? I felt my growl growing in my chest, did this boy have no common sense.

Finally! He had stopped pushing her to heights she had no right being, but Bella had no common sense either, she kept pumping her tiny legs getting additional lift. In a moment I was going to run out at vampire speed and stop her if she didn't knock it off…the growls continued. As I stood in the trees watching, the swing started swaying out of control. What was wrong with her boyfriend? Why wasn't he doing something, couldn't he see this was getting out of control? She was going to fall…oh good grief, it happened in a split second. She was on the ground; I felt my feet moving and had to do everything to control myself from jumping out in the sunlight.

He ran to her side and I heard her laughing. She was laughing, what was wrong with her, had she hit her head…"How on earth could you fall off a child's swing? Are you hurt?" He laughed as well, I felt my anger growing, this was not funny. They were taking unnecessary risks, she could have been hurt and they were laughing. Then I heard her ask for a kiss, my anger melted as I felt my stomach clench. Looking away, I gave them their moment.

They would be leaving soon; his excitement was growing as he thought about his surprise. _'If she liked the swings, she's gonna love tonight.'_ What could he have planned that could compare to her joy on the swings, I didn't condone anything that would risk her life the way he had today.

This was silly, swings…children play on swings and nothing happens. My overprotective behavior was out of control, but I rationalized, couldn't he see that she was a klutz and swings to Bella were tantamount to playing out in traffic. It was just a matter of time before her unfortunate klutziness caught up with her.

Following them from a safe distance, I saw Bella's home for the first time. It was very nice I could see why she was happy here. They entered the house as I ran around the back to see the house from every vantage point. I was going to have to check all the entrances to make sure I could get in later. There was a deck with a sliding glass door that would allow me access. Good, I was set for later this evening.

Soon I heard the thoughts again, '_you think you're so cool, look at you with the other jerk laughing and acting like the world is yours. You'll see, you can't treat me like this…_' WHO WAS THE OWNER OF THESE THOUGHTS!

I needed to identify this creep and take care of him; he was distracting me all day…all day? Wait how was that possible? I'd been hearing these thoughts all day, which meant this guy was on the same path as me all day. No, this wasn't right; this couldn't have anything to do with Bella, could it? I had to find the person with these thoughts.

I quickly looked around trying to find the source of the thoughts; no one was on the deck. I jumped up on it and peered into the window, there was only one boy in the room. He had red hair and was scowling at the doorway. This had to be the source, I heard his thoughts again, '_good go, enjoy your evening because it'll be your last. I'll see to that. That stupid smile will be off your face by tomorrow afternoon.'_ This boy was seriously ill, I had to call my family and let them know I'd found the person behind Bella's attack.

Pulling out my phone, I heard voices, "Let's go." _'God she looks great no matter what she wears'_ Bella's boyfriend again. _'Roxanne is going to be out of her mind when she finds out where we're going'_ that must be the other boy. _'I wonder where he's taking me, it can't be dancing, not when they specifically said warm clothes._' This was probably the girl with them.

Heading out to the front of the house, I caught sight of them up the street. Tucking my phone back into my pocket I caught up just as the crowds on the street started getting heavier. Keeping my breathing steady so I could keep Bella's scent close, I walked through the crowds. Then I heard what all the excitement was for, I looked into the park and realized it was hot air balloons. Scanning the thoughts again I heard him, _'she's happy, happier than I've ever seen her. I was right this is going to be great.'_

Great...What? They weren't possibly thinking of taking Bella in a hot air balloon! These humans just had no idea what they were doing, Bella in a hot air balloon. I had to call Alice; pulling out my phone while following them I dialed her. "Alice, have you had any visions of Bella?" I asked anxiously.

"No, why? What's wrong has something happened?" she replied nervously.

"Try and see her future, see if something goes wrong besides the vision you've already seen." My voice raising as I followed them, they were heading towards the ticket counter. I didn't know how I would stop this from happening but I had to do something.

"Edward, I don't see the other vision at all anymore. But you should know, Bella's going to get hurt. I see her in a hospital bed; I'm not sure what's wrong with her though. You should stay as close as possible to her." She was talking very quickly now.

"Alice I won't be able to save her, you need to figure out why she's in the hospital." I spat into the phone.

"What do you mean you can't save her? What's going on Edward? Damn, I need to get closer to her so I can get stronger visions of her."

"He's taking her on a hot air balloon!" I hissed into the phone.

"What, doesn't he know who he's dating? Bella can't climb steps and he's taking her up in the air in a basket! You have to stop it Edward, she's going to get hurt and I don't know how extensive the damage is. All I see is her lying in a hospital bed." She was anxious now; I could almost see her pacing her room.

"The problem is worse Alice, if she takes off in the balloon I'm going to lose her. I'll have to get close to the ground crew and follow them. I'm going to need you to meet me, we'll take two cars just in case they veer off course." I was speaking in vampire speed now as my mind raced with all the possibilities.

"Alice, there's one other thing, I found the source of the guy who attacks her, but we won't worry about him tonight. As long as the vision is gone, she's safe for now." I have to go, they're taking off." I hung up the phone and put it in my pocket.

Scanning the crew's mind, I heard the course they were headed. I just needed to follow them to their car so I could identify it before getting mine. They headed towards the far end of the field where all the trucks with trailers had been stowed for quick exits. I saw the crew get into a Chevy truck with a trailer that had a frog painted on three sides. It matched the balloon Bella and her friends had taken off in. Good this would be easy enough to spot on the road.

Running at vampire speed to my car, I jumped in, dialed Alice and gave her the course headings to find us. I gunned the car and quickly caught up with the ground crew. It was nearly impossible to follow them they were going so slow, I wanted to ram into the back of the trailer to get them to speed up. Scanning the sky, I found the balloon and it looked like everything was going well so far. No one was falling from the basket…thank god! I was going to kill Bella when I saw her, how could she even think of doing this. Sometimes, I think she really has a death wish, going down that alley in Port Angeles, going to face James on her own…associating with a family of vampires. Honestly, the girl had no concept of reality when it came to her safety.

Looking in my rearview mirror I saw Alice's Porsche head up on the rear of my car. My cell phone started vibrating, "Yes Alice." I said as I answered.

"Edward, you're going to need to stay calm. I looked again for her future, there's going to be a lot of blood." She said nervously.

"Okay, I wasn't planning on getting close, actually I don't have a plan at all…so thanks for warning me. Let's just follow and see what happens, maybe we can stop it before it gets to that." I said hopefully before hanging up.

I noticed that the balloon was coming down in altitude it would be over soon. The ground crew's truck picked up speed and headed into an open field to wait for their arrival. Alice and I drove a little further up the road to park, we would run back to watch the descent.

The whole time we were running back to the field we watched the sky, spotting the balloon coming down. It looked like it was coming too fast to land smoothly. This wasn't going to be good. We made it to the tree line of the field, but we were pretty far away so we couldn't get close enough to assist with the landing. This was going to happen and all we could do was stand and watch. My fists were balled and I was pacing, the anxiety building inside me. How could they have considered doing this, of all the stupid things.

"Edward, calm down. We can't do anything, this is what has to happen." She said sadly.

The balloon didn't land; it crashed to the ground. We watched from the tree line, after checking to make sure no one would see us we headed closer to the site. As we approached, I heard Bella's scream, it stopped me in my tracks paralyzing me. Alice stopped by my side, we both watched as the ground crew struggled to get the party untangled. I stepped closer slowly, I had to see what had happened to Bella but the balloon covered them.

Soon the crew had removed the balloon and I was able to see better, but I still couldn't see Bella. I heard her scream again and my stomach clenched from her scream, I started moving forward again, but Alice held me back. _'No Edward, we can't go to her, we have to wait here.'_

It was killing me to wait; I ran my hands through my hair when I heard her scream louder than the last two. Not caring who saw me, I needed to get to Bella's side. Taking off at vampire speed, I was approximately 10 feet away when the wind picked up and the scent of her blood hit me. My whole body instantly went into predator mode, I crouched and growled preparing to satisfy my thirst, when I felt someone collide with me and knock me off balance.

Growling I struggled to get free, "Edward, stop now. You need to get control of yourself or you'll kill her." She hissed directly in my ear. "Remember Bella, the love of your life, push back the desire now! We have to get out of here before anyone sees us."

Feeling myself gain control again, I shook my head, "Fine, get off me. We'll stay here and listen to find out where they take her. But if she screams again, you won't be able to stop me, nothing will."

"I wouldn't have stopped you, except you weren't going to Bella as her love, you were going to drain her. If you think I'm going to let you kill her, you are mistaken Edward. I'll do everything within my power to stop you!" she whispered firmly.

We sat listening while they tried to get Bella free. She had passed out, whether from the pain or the smell of blood I didn't know. They were able to free her as an ambulance pulled up; they were taking her to Fletcher Allen Health Care, Carlisle's place of employment.

Running back to our cars as soon as we heard where they were headed, Alice called Carlisle. She quickly told him what had happened, he would be there to assist with Bella's treatment. Asking to speak with me, she handed me her phone, "Do you want Bella to know we're in town son?"

"No, please just check on her and let me know if she's okay. I don't want her to find out until I tell her myself. This isn't how she should find out." I replied.

"Fine, I'll be here when they bring her in. If she's awake I'll keep out of sight, if she's still out I'll help anyway I can. Call you later with an update." I hung up Alice's phone handing it back to her.

_'That was the right choice Edward, you're finally thinking this through properly,'_ she had a smile on her face, the first I'd seen in weeks.

"I know you've already seen my plan, just let me work it out. It's not all up to me now, Bella has a role in this too." I said as I opened the door of my Volvo and climbed in. Bella had no idea that I was in town but she would soon find out. She had a choice to make; I'd already made mine.

* * *


	25. Dreaming

**Dreaming **

**Stephenie Meyer is still the genius behind Twilight!**

* * *

BPOV

_What do you think; she'll be all right won't she? _

_Yes, she'll be fine she's just resting we have her on a strong dose of painkillers. She'll be in a cast for a while though, she has a compound fracture. She was awake when she came in…the pain was too intense for her to handle so we had to sedate her._

_She looks so peaceful. When will she be released? _

_Today, we just needed to keep her sedated enough to reset the arm. We kept her overnight because of the dosage and to monitor her pain level._

_Dr. Cullen to the ER. Will you be staying with her? Yes, until morning. Let her rest, she needs to recuperate. _

When I woke up my head was groggy, it felt like my head was in a mud puddle. I smelled something familiar…it couldn't be. I looked around the room and then down at my arm. Another cast, great. Trying to sit up my head started spinning, I put my head back on the pillow again.

Remembering my dreams as I came around, I shook my head. Alice, Carlisle and Edward had been in my room last night. Rationalizing to myself, this was probably due to the drugs and the familiarity of previous hospital visits. The dream was so vivid I actually felt him brushing his fingers across my cheeks and the feel of his lips on my forehead…I could actually smell his scent. The wonderful scent that had been a part of my life, the scent I still missed.

Feeling a sharp pain in my arm, I looked at the cast again. Ugh, only I could ruin such a wonderful day. Klutz, that's all I was, this wasn't a mind over matter thing. How many people get hurt in a hot air balloon, I'd bet the statistics was pretty low.

Wanting to find out what was going on with me I pushed the call button. A nurse came in lifted my hand to check my pulse. "How are you feeling? Does the arm hurt?"

"No, a couple of brief stabs but nothing like yesterday evening." I said looking at her. "So what's the deal?"

"Deal?" she said smiling while handing me some water from the bedside table.

Taking the cup from her and sipping I said, "Well, what happened to my arm? I mean..I know it's broken, but when will the cast come off…when can I leave…"

"I see, _that_ deal. I'll let your doctor know to come explain the details" as she turned to the door she smiled and continued, "he'll probably need the papers for your release so let me begin preparing them."

My smile at the news that I would be released quickly faded; how would I get home and where were my clothes? My head was starting to clear a little more, so I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed, waiting a few more minutes until my head stopped spinning. I stood and went to the closet to see if perhaps my clothes were there; the only things I found were my shoes and jeans, no shirts…great. Checking the drawer for my cell phone I found it empty, damn, I was hoping to call Roxanne and have her bring me a shirt.

I decided to lie back on the bed and wait for the doctor; it was still early, Roxanne would be along soon enough. While I was waiting for the doctor I thought about my dream again. It was so real it worried me. The Cullens had been out of my thoughts for several weeks now and this set back had me concerned. The first time I had given them a thought had been when I saw that book yesterday and it scared me. If I were honest with myself I didn't really want to forget them, they were my family. The short time spent with them meant so much to me, as much as the moments I was currently sharing with my college friends.

Laying back and closing my eyes, I began drifting off. The medication they had given me yesterday must have been pretty strong based on the way my head felt this morning. I slowly drifted into sleep again.

The wonderful scent was back; it was stronger than before…what is going on I thought while slowly waking again. Keeping my eyes closed and breathing in deeply I was sure of it, his scent was the most intoxicating smell I had ever encountered and it was here in this room. It's not possible though; I must have hit my head during the accident. Reaching my right hand over on the bed slightly, I realized that my hand was tingling slightly. The feeling was reminiscent of when 'he' used to hold my hand, the electric current that always tingled my skin whenever we touched. It has to be the drugs, they're waking my subconscious I just needed to get back to my usual routine and everything would be normal again.

The door burst open as Ian, Roxanne and Drake came in. "Oh Thank God you're alright." Roxanne said as she rushed to my side. "You had us so worried last night. When you passed out and didn't come to we thought that maybe you hit your head. The damage to your arm was bad enough, but having you out for so long scared us to death." She sat on the edge of the bed brushing my hair out of my face while her eyes scanned it looking for something to worry about.

"Rox, I'm fine. Really. Other than feeling really stupid about ruining everyone's evening, I'm okay." I said while looking over at Ian. I was nervous he would regret getting involved with me; he should be with someone who was nimble and polished. This little episode had to have him rethinking his decision to date me.

He came over to the left side of the bed as my eyes followed his movement. He leaned over and kissed me on the forehead and kept his cheek there for a moment while he sighed. When he pulled away I noticed his features, he looked like hell. His eyes were bloodshot and he needed a shave. I attempted to lift my arm and let out a yelp as the pain shot through my arm. He stepped back slightly grimacing. "Sorry" he whispered.

"No, it was my fault. I tried to lift my arm." I smiled slightly at him. "Just a slightly painful reminder of why I'm here." Turning back to Roxanne again, "Hey, please tell me you brought me something to wear. They're going to release me and well…I don't have a shirt." I said pointing to the closet.

Drake removed his backpack, "Yes, she thinks of everything. Your entire wardrobe is probably in this." He said as he put the pack on the bed.

"I brought you a shirt, pants, coat, clean underwear, your hairbrush and toothbrush. Let me help you get dressed," she said as she stood and pulled back the blanket. Ian leaned over and helped me to sit up while she stepped aside so I could stand.

Attempting to cover my backside, I shifted my left hand slightly and felt the pain again. Wincing to hold back my yelp, I sat back down. "Okay guys, if you don't mind please leave for a moment. My gown is open in the back and the view isn't something I want to willingly offer." I giggled.

"Oh, right. Come on Drake let's give them a minute." Ian said embarrassedly as he came around the side of the bed and pushed Drake towards the door.

"But Ian, this could be one scenic moment, are you sure we should leave?" Drake said laughing.

"Get Out," Roxanne shrieked at him shoving them through the door. Leaning against it for a moment, she looked over and said, "Hey, are you okay?"

I hung my head slightly, "Roxanne I don't know. I'm so embarrassed, what must Ian think. He plans the most romantic date I've ever had and it turns into a nightmare."

She rushed to my side sitting on the bed, went to take my hand then remembering it's in a cast stopped short. "Bella, oh God, don't think like that. We were out of our minds with worry last night. No one thought for a second that you ruined anything. It was an accident, a freak accident that could have happened to any of us. Oh girl, please don't let this accident make you doubt yourself. Ian is head over heels in love with you."

My head jerked up, "In love with me? What, no…he can't love me. Roxanne, I'm not ready for that, I'm just getting over Edward. I really like him a lot" I emphasized "but love…no. Maybe after awhile that will come, but some part of me will always love Edward." I said worriedly.

"Listen, we don't have time for this conversation. Ian and Drake are right outside the door waiting for you to get dressed. Let's get you ready for release then when we get home, you and I will have a long talk in our room, okay?" she said as she stroked my hair trying to calm me down.

Nodding my head I stood up. She emptied the backpack on the bed and pulled out my clothes and toiletries. Helping me with my shirt, afterwards I went into the bathroom to comb out my hair and brush my teeth. Feeling slightly more human I came out to find Ian in my room, Roxanne was gone. I stopped short when I saw, him he looked worried.

"Where's Rox?" I asked looking around.

"She stepped out, would you like me to get her?" he said as he walked towards the door.

"No, I just…well, thought she would be here that's all." I said walking back to the bed to sit on the edge purposely putting my back to him.

"Bella?" he said quietly. "I'm sorry, really really sorry."

Here we go I thought; here's where he tells me he can't date me anymore. That it's been great, but maybe we should just be friends letting me down easy. Sighing I said, "What for?"

He remained on the opposite side of the bed, I felt him sit down. "For not being there for you, I saw your arm and freaked. I couldn't move, your bone was sticking out and there was blood all over…you were screaming your head off and I froze. Roxanne was the one who acted; her and Dave took care of you until the ambulance came. My mind went numb, I just stood and watched as if it were a movie, a really bad movie."

Adjusting myself slightly so that I was facing the head of the bed and could see him, I studied his back and the side of his face before speaking. "Ian, what are you talking about? I can't remember anything after passing out. I don't hold you responsible for my stupidity, you brought me on a wonderful date, and I ruined it. You don't owe me an apology, I was the one who screwed everything up."

He rose from the bed and quickly came to me facing me. "Bella, don't you dare blame yourself for this. The way the evening ended certainly wasn't what I had planned," he said shaking his head. "You have a compound fracture and it was an accident. I'm not upset with you for the accident, I'm angry with myself for not being there for you." He explained as he lifted my face so I was looking at him. His eyes were searching mine for a sign, something to let him know I didn't blame myself.

I shifted and patted the bed. "Ian, your reaction was normal. You would have to be superhuman to not go into shock after seeing that." A shudder ran through me, whether it was the visual of my arm or the thought of superhuman efforts to save me, I'm not sure. I smiled at him, "I was thinking earlier that the statistics for people getting hurt on a hot air balloon ride are probably very low, yet somehow I became one. Face it, I'm a klutz, so if you don't want to date anymore I'll understand." I said as I looked down at my lap.

He took my chin and lifted it again, "Bella, you are not getting rid of me this easily. It was a freak accident and klutz or not, this will not be the reason I walk away. You'll have to work a lot harder to get rid of me," he said smiling. Looking into my eyes again, he must have found what he was looking for last time, because he leaned in and kissed me softly.

Just then, the door burst open as Drake and Roxanne joined us. "Ready let's blow this joint!" Drake said.

"Sorry guys I can't. The doctor hasn't been in to release me yet." I said as I yawned. "Oh sorry, they must have given me a really strong sedative."

Ian stood up plumping the pillows, "well you may as well get comfortable while we wait." He said as he helped me settle back on the bed.

"Let me go ask the nurse what's going on with the doctor" Rox said as she walked to the door again.

Yawning again, I put my head back on the pillow and closed my eyes as relief washed over me. Ian was holding my hand rubbing circles on the top of my hand with his thumb, opening one eye slightly I peeked at him. He caught me and smiled, I grinned back and said, "Sorry you came here to spring me and I'm sleeping."

He leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Sleep Bella, your body needs it. We'll take care of the details and get you home."

Drifting off again, I thought I heard Drake ask 'Have you told her about next weekend yet?' 'Sshh, not now, later.' I tried to open my eyes but they were too heavy…I had to remember this for later, I needed to know what Drake meant by that.

My release from the hospital was uneventful. The doctor finally came after Roxanne kicked up a storm at the nurse's station. Apparently she really put on a show, the staff looked pretty happy to see us leave. When we arrived back at the house, everyone was really sweet making room for me on the sectional, asking if I was comfortable. Even Derrick was normal, coming up and asking how I felt and if he could get me anything. Maybe this was just the shock he needed, who knows.

Not really wanting all the attention, I asked Roxanne if she would join me in our room. Ian walked me to the bottom of the stairs before releasing me to Roxanne's capable care. Honestly, they were treating me as an invalid, I had a broken arm!

As I got settled on my bed, she turned on the stereo and came to sit beside me. She reached over and took my right hand in hers, "Okay kid, spill. What's this about not loving Ian?"

Sighing deeply and closing my eyes, "It's not that I don't love him, I just don't love him as passionately as I loved Edward. When Edward was away from me for even short periods of time, I couldn't breath…I became anxious and couldn't wait for him to return. I only felt complete with him by my side. My feelings for Ian aren't anywhere near that intense. I love him and not like I love Jake, as a brother...it's a love between a girl and guy. But it's not nearly as powerful a love as I experienced with Edward." The tears were coming down my face; I couldn't help it.

She reached over and wiped the tears away. "Sweetie, I hear what you're saying and believe me I know what you're talking about. Let me try and explain this to you so you can put it in perspective," she sighed.

"Edward was your first love, the love you'll never forget. The first one to make your heart stutter and stop when he looked at you, the one that could make your mouth loose all saliva with just a smile from him. What you have with Ian is a more mature love, something that is whole in itself without all the drama. It's steady and comforting, comforting because you can be complete in yourself without being dependent on him. You're a complete person with thoughts and feelings that are unique and independent of Ian. This is a healthy love Bella," she said sincerely.

"I'm not explaining my love for Edward properly, you understand some of it, but…it's hard to put into words how he made me feel." I stood up and walked to the window. "He knew my every thought even though he couldn't read my mind. The way we were…it was exclusive, there wasn't anyone in our lives that could provide what we gave each other. The description 'soul mate' comes to mind, but it was more than that. At least that's what I believed. I miss that feeling, Roxanne and thinking I'll never feel that way again makes me angry, sad and disappointed all at the same time." I sighed leaning my forehead against the window. "He walked away from something so beautiful and left behind an empty shell. No matter how much I try, I'll never be over him," I said as my breath fogged up the glass.

"What about Ian Bella? Can't you find happiness with him? You seemed so happy these last few weeks, what happened? Yesterday you were glowing and today it's like something inside changed," she asked perplexed.

Turning back around and leaning against the window I said, "Nothing's changed Roxanne, I've always felt like this, my subconscious always knew it. The reasons we're discussing this now are because you said Ian is in love with me and…well last night I dreamt of the Cullens. The dream was so realistic, I felt him kiss and touch me. Dreaming of him made me realize I'll never experience that passion, that deep of a love ever again." I said wrapping my arm around myself as the whole tingled slightly wanting to rip open again.

She came to my side, "Bella, it will get better. The dream just happened because of the drugs and your subconscious is trying to get you to say good-bye. It's time to move on. Close that door for the last time and let yourself heal so one day you can open it and look back with fond memories. You will eventually, but it takes time and the right person to help you…Ian's that guy if you'll just let him in."

She looked at me and continued, "There are 5 stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. You've been stuck in depression for a long time Bella and you've grown to like it. It's time to move to the next stage, acceptance. If you can't then guess what, you're right…you'll never find anyone as good as Edward, because you'll push them all away. You'll be left just as you described, an empty shell. I'm begging you Bella, find a way to accept the fact that Edward is gone and let someone love you." Her eyes pleaded with me as she scanned my face.

Sighing again I said, "I'll try Roxanne. You say I'm stuck in the depression stage, but I honestly feel I'm stuck in a couple of phases…anger being one of the strongest. If I were to see him today, I'd have a few choice things to say" I said as I balled my good hand into a fist.

"Good, that's good to feel that way, just move past the depression and you'll find love. Now come lay down, you need to rest. I'll stay until you're asleep and bring you dinner later, okay?" she asked as she walked me back to bed.

"You don't have to stay, I'll be fine. Go spend some time with Drake, I'll be asleep in moments." I told her as I climbed under the covers.

"Well then, it'll only be moments until Drake sees me again, besides absence makes the heart grow fonder. Now, close your eyes and rest." She said as she sat on her own bed and opened a magazine.

"I love you Rox," I said as sleep took over.

"Love you too Bella!"

* * *


	26. House Sitting

**House Sitting**

**Of course like everyone else I don't own any characters you may recognize from Stephanie Meyers' Twilight Series.**

EPOV

Alice and I drove to the hospital at our usual speeds and arrived well in advance of the ambulance. Carlisle was waiting in the emergency room and had heard the dispatch from the EMT's treating Bella. She had a compound fracture and was currently unconscious. There were no other visible wounds.

We heard the sirens approaching and moved to a location out of the way where we wouldn't be seen in case Bella was conscious. When the ambulance pulled into the bay and the door opened, I heard her moaning in pain. Thank goodness, she was awake, I wasn't happy she was hurting, but at least she was awake. Carlisle moved in closer to see for himself what her damages were, but not close enough for Bella to see him.

The EMTs moved her quickly into the emergency room towards one of the triage bays while an ER doctor followed receiving all the necessary information in order to begin treatment. We followed her gurney slowly so as not to arouse suspicion. Once they were in the room and the door closed I started pacing and running my hands through my hair. How could this have happened, I was going to kill that boy! Of all the stupid careless things, she could have been killed. Just as I was working myself up into a total frenzy, I felt a wave of calm as Jasper arrived with Esme.

"Carlisle how is she? Shouldn't someone notify Charlie and Renee?" Esme asked.

"No, they cannot know we are here!" I hissed. Continuing my pacing, Carlisle and Alice filled in Jasper and Esme. She had to be okay, of course she was going to be okay…it was only a compound fracture, it could have been worse. We're talking about Bella here; this is a minor accident considering her past!

The ER outer doors opened while I moved my family into one of the other rooms, Bella's friends had arrived and we needed to be out of sight. I heard her friend say, "We're here with Bella Swan; she was just brought in. Can we see her?"

"I'm afraid not, they're treating her now. You can wait in the lounge," the nurse said pointing her finger to the room.

Listening to their thoughts I heard, _'She looked so bad, why wouldn't she wake up. She has to be all right, I hope she didn't hit her head,'_ her girlfriend worried. _'I have to get Rox to calm down, she's working herself up and we don't need her losing it'_ this must be the other boy; then I heard him _'Bella oh God, Bella…what have I done. I didn't even help her, I was useless…she's got to be okay'. _I felt myself growling. Jasper looked at me with an eyebrow raised and sent a wave of calm in my direction.

Blocking their thoughts I asked Carlisle to check on Bella. He walked out and entered the treatment room. He was gone for 20 minutes or so, meanwhile I kept pacing…I wanted to throw something. When he came back I rushed to him, "Well?"

"They are admitting her, the break is very bad Edward. As soon as she is settled in a room, I'll let you know so you can see her. We've reset the bone and they are applying the cast now. I'd like to get back, you'll feel better if I'm by her side through the process." He left to return to Bella.

Esme came to my side taking my hand, "Sit down dear. You're going to wear a path in the floor. Bella will be fine, you heard Carlisle. We just have to wait for her to get a room and then you can be with her." She walked me out towards the lounge.

"Esme I can't sit in there with them. Their thoughts will tear me apart. I'll just step outside and wait." I said walking towards the doors.

I was standing outside for only a moment before Jasper joined me. "I know you're worried right now, but would you like to give me the information on the boy that may hurt Bella." He said.

"The only information I can provide is he lives in her house and for some reason believes she should be with him. He's dangerous, very dangerous…I've heard sick minds before, this boy is sick. He's 5'7" red hair and freckles, somewhat overweight but not seriously so. I'd prefer you leave him to me though Jasper, perhaps taking care of him will give me a chance to let out my frustrations." I said quietly.

Alice came to tell us Bella had been admitted and was in her room. We entered the doors just as her boyfriend was asking about her progress. They informed him that she was heavily sedated and he should go home. Visiting hours were over and they could return tomorrow. Upon hearing this I smiled, good I had the whole evening with Bella.

When we approached the room, Esme was in the hall. "Carlisle is with her now, why don't Jasper and I wait downstairs." Nodding to Jasper, they went towards the elevator.

As soon as we entered, Alice went to Bella's side asking Carlisle, "What do you think; she'll be all right won't she?

He nodded, "Yes, she'll be fine she's just resting we have her on a strong dose of painkillers. She'll be in a cast for a while though she has a compound fracture. She was awake when she came in…the pain was too intense for her to handle so we had to sedate her." He looked to me and thought _'Edward, you need to relax she'll be fine.'_

"She looks so peaceful. When will she be released?" I didn't acknowledge his remark to relax, as if relaxing were possible. I reached down and brushed the hair from her face, stroking her cheeks lightly.

"Today, we just needed to keep her sedated enough to reset the arm. We kept her overnight because of the dosage and to monitor her pain level." He said while staring intently at me. _'Edward you need to hunt, you shouldn't be here.'_

Dr. Cullen to the ER. He was paged; good I wouldn't have to face his scrutiny. There was no need to tell me what I already knew; the monster inside me was stirring. Her scent was still making the venom pool in my mouth, but my concern for her was more powerful.

"Will you be staying with her?" he asked.

Yes, until morning." I said without removing my eyes from her face.

"Let her rest, she needs to recuperate." _'You really should hunt Edward if you plan on staying all night. I'll get you the clearance you need to stay, but take Alice and feed. This is not a request Edward, it's for your benefit as well as Bella's.'_

'_Edward, now that you've seen her let's go hunt. We'll go to the park right across the street. We should talk anyway'_ Alice sent her thoughts to me.

Nodding I acknowledging her, and bent down, kissed Bella on the forehead before turning to leave. We stepped outside and ran to the park, I quickly located a pair of deer and fed. Alice came up beside me as I was disposing of the carcasses.

'_Edward, we need to discuss what happened tonight. How do you plan on spending enough time with her to get used to her scent, if you have no intention of letting her know you are around?'_ she asked.

"I will not leave her side, that's how. She will not know it; I will be by her side night and day. We're vampires Alice, what is the sense of being one if I don't use my special skills to my advantage." I said as I stared at the hospital.

"Fine Edward, but now that I've been re-introduced to Bella, I'll be able to see her in my visions clearly. I'll be watching you, I was serious earlier, and you will not kill her." She said persistently.

I turned on her, "Alice, I have no intention of causing Bella any harm. She is my life and I will not allow our instincts to take anything from her. You have nothing to worry about, she will be safer with me than that boy!" I spat adamantly while glaring at her.

"Fine, we're clear then. I'll let you return to her." She stomped away.

Running back to the hospital, I quickly made my way to her room. She was still sleeping peacefully; I stood watching her chest move up and down with each breath she took as her heart beat a wonderful pattern. Bending over, I moved my face to her neck to get the wonderful scent. It was like being in heaven again; I felt at peace…it was if a part of me that had been missing was now rejoined.

Longing to lay by her side again, I gently lifted her so I could hold her all night. As soon as my arms wrapped around her frame, she moved her head into my chest and mumbled briefly. Holding completely still as a statue I let her settle, hearing her mumble again. The sedatives had made her groggy and even I couldn't understand what she was saying. Waiting and laying completely still I heard it again and listened intently, _'Edward'_. I smiled, I wanted to jump from the bed with joy, she still thought of me. She was calling out my name while she was here in my arms.

The emotions this awakened in me were more than I could resist. I pulled her closer to me stroking her hair and kissing her head. She was my angel, my one and only and still called out for me in her sleep. It didn't mean she loved me, but just this little bit was enough, it was ecstasy. Watching her sleep was one of the things I missed most from our time together. Having her in my arms, hearing her heart beat, listening to her breathing, inhaling her scent, and feeling her warmth…I sobbed and kept sobbing for hours.

Around seven a.m. Bella began stirring. Knowing she'd be waking soon, I released her from my arms, positioned her properly in the bed and sat in the chair watching until the very moment when her eyes would open. She was always very slow at waking, as if her dreams wanted to keep her as much as everyone who came in contact with her. Her breathing became more rapid as her heartbeat quickened, I knew any moment her eyes would flutter open. Shifting closer to her face I inhaled her wonderful scent before it was too late. One, two, three…I was in the bathroom before she saw me.

Listening to her movements, I knew she was looking around trying to ascertain her whereabouts. I heard her trying to sit up, and then lay back again. Then hearing her reach for the call button I waited for the nurse to enter, this would give me the opportunity to leave the room. I had no intention to leave for long; I just couldn't chance that the nurse or Bella would find me hiding in the room.

After seeing the nurse leave, I waited a few moments longer listening to her move about in the room before settling back in the bed. Knowing my sweet Bella so well, it was just a matter of minutes before she would be back to sleep. Cautiously opening the door I heard her breathing the deep breaths of sleep. Walking quietly to her side, I sat in the chair and stroked her right hand humming her lullaby. She was smiling in her sleep and soon was murmuring my name again. I held my breath watching her; this was more than I could ever ask for. She would always be mine; nothing would change that. My decision was clear, I just needed to find the proper path to take in order for it to become reality. Leaning in once again, I stroked her cheeks lightly and gently brushed my lips on hers, whispering her name as I kissed her cheeks.

She remained sleeping another three hours before waking again. This time I hid in the closet; it wasn't long before her friends came into the room. Listening to their thoughts, I discerned that they were truly good friends to Bella. They loved her with all their hearts; I was pleased she had such good friends surrounding her. Typical Bella she wasn't concerned about her injury she was only concerned that she may have ruined their evening.

This friend Roxanne was one of the truest friends anyone could ask for. Her thoughts and words were nothing but interest and compassion. I was particularly interested to hear what her boyfriend thought; they conveyed his anxiety about last evening's debacle. Apparently he had spent the evening torn with thoughts of Bella's safety and his lack of action in helping her. Even the other boy was caring, although his thoughts were a little lighter; it seemed he preferred using humor to mask his feelings.

Panic struck for a moment while they discussed Bella's attire for her release; please don't let them come to the closet. Roxanne had provided the solution by bringing clothes for her. I felt myself growl as I heard them discussing Bella's hospital gown. Admittedly, her boyfriend was a gentleman with his thoughts quelling the growls.

I listened as Roxanne and Bella discussed her inappropriate concerns for everyone's feelings. My breath caught as I heard Roxanne declare that Ian loved Bella. No, he couldn't…then I heard Bella's response. She didn't love him; she declared her love for me. I was joyous; she did love me! What was this, she was speaking of me as if she had discussed our relationship with this girl before. I needed to find out more, exactly what had Bella told this girl. They had decided to discuss this later at their home…I would find a way to hear that conversation.

They worked together getting her dressed as I remained in the closet; Bella went to use the bathroom while Roxanne left the room. Someone else had entered; his thoughts came to me, _'she must hate me. I blew it. If she doesn't want to see me anymore I'll understand, it will kill me but…' _

Bella entered the room before he finished. His thoughts conveying his wish to discuss last night, he apologized and explained. His words were similar as ones spoken from my own lips; he had a great deal of shame and was torturing himself. Bella declared her understanding and said something that stunned me. She thought he wanted to stop seeing her, why would she think this…she's an angel anyone would want her. What was wrong with me, I wanted him out of her life…why was I questioning her actions?

He was going to be an obstacle, this was a man who knew the value of Bella and would be good for her. Unfortunately for him, Bella and I belonged together and he would have to be dealt with somehow. I heard the door opening and before it closed completely took this as my opportunity to once again leave the room. Knowing she would be safe with her friends, I wanted to visit her home to review entry points and possibly gain access to her room.

I called Alice while driving, "Alice, have you had any visions?"

"Good Morning Edward, did you have a nice evening," she asked giggling. That answered my question; she knew exactly what I did last night as well as this morning. Even if her sight was sometimes annoying, I found myself smiling. Nothing could ruin my mood; Bella still loved me.

"Yes Alice, it was rewarding, her friends are there and I'm on my way to her home. I need to examine entry points to gain access without alerting anyone to my presence." I said while parking my car several blocks from Bella's home.

"She'll be fine, I haven't seen anything to be concerned about. You may want to try one of the basement windows and her bedroom is the upstairs third door on the left." Her voice was bubbling with enthusiasm.

"Your sight seems to have improved. The time spent with her last evening was worthwhile for you as well, I see." I stated as I made my way to the back of the house. "See you later, Alice. Thank you." I said as I hung up my phone putting it in my pocket.

Surveying the backyard and neighbor viewpoints, I cautiously opened the window in the basement. Alice was right, this entry point was the least noticeable during the day. Once inside I looked around, a pool table, some chairs, laundry room, furnace, storage spaces, good this position provided plenty of hiding areas. Standing and listening, offered the ability to hear anything within the house easily.

During my wait for Bella's return I began constructing my plans for revealing myself. This would be critical that it was planned properly in order to persuade Bella that I still loved her. I would need to depend on my family for this to work properly.

Attentive to the activities upstairs, I could hear people playing video games, while others studied. Still others were in the kitchen, preparing meals and socializing. There were very few people on the second floor, those that were, were studying or sleeping. I used this time to acclimate my senses to the surroundings as well as beginning the process of matching thoughts with voices.

Soon, I could hear the return of Bella and her friends. Most everyone was happy for her return and well being. Listening attentively to their thoughts, I found that most people in the house were sincere in their well wishes, it seemed that even the threatening boy had kind thoughts although he was still repeating his ownership of her. I would deal with him soon enough.

Bella decided she would be more comfortable in her room and extended an invitation for Roxanne to join her. This must be the continuation of their discussion from earlier at the hospital. The conversation was certainly one I wanted to hear clearly. Not wanting to miss anything I rushed out the window and scaled the back of the house landing on the roof. Remaining on the backside of the roof and laying flat, I shimmied over to the edge hoping to find the vantage point closest to her room's window.

My positioning wasn't the most comfortable as I was facing the ground with my feet pointed towards the peak of the roof. But if I wanted to hear what was being said without all the buzz of other people in my mind, this was my only choice. Hearing music coming from one window I edged closer to the perimeter, the first voice was from her friend Roxanne asking why she thought she didn't love Ian. I held my breath waiting for her answer.

Hearing Bella sigh tugged at my emotions, I listened intently as she explained to Roxanne her feelings, comparing the love for Ian against her love for me. She explained how she loved him, but our love was stronger, my heart was jubilant. Wait, who's Jake, could there be someone else? Needing to focus, I pushed this thought away for inspection later. She clearly stated she didn't love him as much as she loved Ian so he posed no threat. My stomach clenched as I heard her tears.

Roxanne was worried about her; the thoughts conveyed expressed worries for Bella's mental stability. She began consoling Bella explaining her interpretation of love. I didn't like the course this conversation was headed; she was providing her with compelling viewpoints in Ian's favor. I had to chuckle at her remark that the love with Ian was healthy; implying that her love for me was not, she had no idea!

Bella being the most stubborn human I had ever encountered, resisted Roxanne's persuasive efforts. Hearing her approach the window I shifted back slightly so as not to cast a shadow. I couldn't have heard that properly, she just admitted I was a mind reader! How much information did she share with this new friend, I would need to find out how much Roxanne knew of my family and me.

Bella continued explaining that her emotions were raging due to the lose of our love. My own emotions matched hers as she explained how I left her feeling empty. I wanted to sob for being the cause of the destruction of Bella's feelings. This needed to be resolved; she had to know that I was as much in love with her as she was with me. Even after one year's time, our feelings for one another were still as strong as ever. Eternity with her would only make our love grow.

Their discussion continued as Roxanne tried to convince her she needed to move on, while Bella held true to her heart. Smiling, I heard her recount how she felt me holding and kissing her. Roxanne's concerns centered on depression, she felt Bella had grown accustomed to depression. I couldn't bare the thought of Bella being anything but happy, my actions a year ago were too far reaching and the need to change this was critical. There were too many people who were being impacted by my bull-headed choice. Bella admitted to Roxanne her anger towards me, this concerned me somewhat making me realize that future actions needed to be planned properly.

The conversation was over, leaving both Bella and myself reeling. Fortunately, she had painkillers to ease her back into sleep. When I heard Roxanne leave, I climbed off the roof and headed towards home. I would need Alice's help to begin the planning. Reaching for my phone, I called Alice to request that someone come and monitor Bella while I worked out the details of my plans.

* * *


	27. Phone Calls and Decisions

**Phone Calls and Decisions**

**Stephenie Meyer is still the genius behind Twilight! **

* * *

BPOV

Since I had no plans for the day I woke up late and decided to call Charlie, Renee and Jacob. It was probably best that I handle these calls while everyone was at school. But first things first, I couldn't possibly make these calls without sustenance, so I headed downstairs to make myself a bit of breakfast.

Grabbing a cup of coffee I went into the common room, lay down on the couch and channel surfed. I wasn't really watching TV; I was running through the conversation Roxanne and I had the night before. She made some valid points, but there was no way for someone who wasn't involved in the relationship to understand just how strong of a bond there was. Perhaps I'd give Angela a call, she was always supportive and actually had witnessed the relationship as it developed. Getting frustrated with myself, I turned the TV off and went upstairs to call Charlie.

"Hey, Dad." I said after hearing him answer. He was concerned that I was calling on a Monday in the middle of the morning. Telling him about the accident didn't really help calm him down, but because I've been accident-prone my whole life he knew this was just how it was with me. After discussing my misfortune and letting him know about the notices he would get from the hospital, our conversation turned to my studies and my adjustment to college life. The conversation was brief as it usually was with Charlie; I hung up promising to call over the weekend.

My next call was to Jake. It was time for me to tell Jake about Ian, that wouldn't be easy but it had to be done. Dialing his number I took a deep breath as the phone on the other end rang and Billy answered.

"Hi Billy, how are you?" I asked as I paced the floor. A smile came to me when I heard his voice; it brought back his age-lined face with perfect clarity in my head.

"Bella, it's so good to hear your voice, how are things in Vermont? Are you enjoying school?" he asked happily.

"Things are great, I really love school and my new friends. It's so different from Forks, not that I don't miss Dad and you guys, but it's a lot of fun." I giggled as I sat down at my desk doodling on a piece of paper.

"That's great Bella, well I better let you talk to Jake. He's about to rip the phone from my hands." He laughed as he handed the phone to Jake after telling me good-bye.

"Bella, what's the deal? You haven't called in weeks, I was beginning to think you didn't care about me anymore." He said chuckling. I could tell even if he was laughing, he was relieved I called. It was wrong, I should have called sooner; Jake didn't deserve to be excluded from my life.

"Jake, I'm sorry. It's just been crazy trying to balance work and school. Not that it's an excuse, I should have called." I said apologetically. "So how are things in La Push?"

"You know how it is, nothing changes. We're running patrols but all's quiet here. How are things out there?"

"Well, you wouldn't believe it but I went on a hot air balloon ride." I hesitated waiting for his response.

"You did what? Bells you know you can't walk on cement without tripping what would make you go on a…" He didn't finish the sentence before laughter escaped from his lips, "Wait, don't tell me…" he said still laughing. "What happened?"

"Very funny Jake, I'll have you know it was pretty serious." I said smartly, pouting slightly as I realized he knew me best. I missed him, hearing his voice on the other end of the phone always brought on the feeling of being home sick.

"Sorry Bells, but you really should have known better. Haven't those people you're hanging with seen some of your antics?" he said still laughing. "Okay, I'm sorry, really what happened?" he asked as he tried to gain control of his hysterics.

I told him about the accident and after hearing all the details; he actually was apologetic. Not seeing his face but hearing his voice was enough, I knew what the next question would be before he even asked.

"So who was in this balloon ride with you?" he asked nervously.

"My roommate and a couple of guys from the house." I said innocently.

"So these guys, are you like…dating?"

"Um, yeah kind of." I said shyly. I waited for a moment or two and then said, "Jake I'm sorry I know you probably didn't want to hear that." Oh shoot, why did I have to do this to him. He didn't deserve to be hurt, but he knew how I felt about him. This was bound to happen eventually, I just always thought it would be him telling me he had found someone.

"No, no…it's okay. I guess I kind of figured it when I didn't hear from you. So what's he like?" he asked, as his voice got lower. I could tell from the tone in his voice I may as well have punched him in the stomach. He was doing his best to keep tight control on his emotions.

"He's very nice. I don't know what else you want me to tell about him; it's a little uncomfortable discussing this with you. He's kind and considerate and looks out for me; you would like him if you gave him a chance. I know that sounds cliché but it's true." I hesitated before continuing envisioning him gripping the table. When he didn't say anything, I figured I should just finish the conversation it wasn't going to get any easier.

"I'm really sorry Jake. It just happened, it's not like I came out here intending to have this happen; it just did. I'll always love you, but as we've discussed before…you deserve somebody who loves you completely. I'm not that girl." I whispered and took a deep breath waiting.

"Well, I'm happy for you I guess, at least he's alive. Not like that…sorry…you didn't need to hear that." He said sadly, he was really struggling with this conversation. "Bells, I love you and if you're happy then that's all that matters. Really you deserve to be content and if he makes you happy, then you made the right decision. I won't lie, I wish it were me…but at least you're not pining over the..."

Without letting him finish the sentence I cut in, "Thanks Jake. I'm sorry, but I have to call Renee and let her know about the accident," I finished. This was one conversation that wasn't going well and wouldn't get any better the more we discussed it.

"Sure, sure. Bella don't let this new guy stop you from calling. I still want to hear from you and more often than every couple of weeks, okay?" he stated firmly.

"You got it. I'll try and call this weekend, next weekend at the latest. Love you Jake." I hung up and plopped back on my bed. That was a difficult call but at least I got it over with. Perhaps I should have told him about my doubts for any future with Ian, but I didn't want to get Jake's hopes up. He needed to move on and this would probably help him do this faster.

Sitting back up, I dialed Renee's number. She answered on the second ring and sounded distracted. When she heard me say hello her voice went shrill and she squealed. Another call that was overdue, if I had called sooner I wouldn't have had to hold the phone away from my ear while she calmed down.

"Mom, mom…enough. Haven't you been getting my emails?" I asked her. Maybe she wasn't getting her email and thought I wasn't keeping in touch.

"Yes, but Bella I'm your mother! You should call more often, you know how I worry when I don't hear from you." She lectured. Renee was easily excited and my neglect didn't help the situation. "I'm glad you called, the pictures you sent are great. But the recent photos you sent have some funny blur spots on them. Did you drop your camera?"

"No, what do you mean funny blur spots?" I asked as I headed over to my laptop to pull up the pictures I sent her last week.

"Well, it's weird. It's not all the pictures just some of them. There are blurry marks in the pictures. Didn't you look at them?" she asked slightly confused. Of course confusion and Renee were pretty good friends, but still.

Sure enough when I looked at the pictures, some of them had odd blurs in them. They were random, not every photo had one and the ones that did had them in strange places. Some of the blur marks were in the corners while others were in the center, but in the background. "I'm looking at them now. That is strange, I don't know maybe my hand moved." I said as I blew the photos up to figure out what the marks were. It was odd, but I needed to get her back on track. "Mom, I called to tell you about my latest accident."

"Accident, oh Bella what happened now." She asked concerned, but at least I had her attention now.

I told her the whole story, she gushed at the romantic efforts Ian made and gasped when I told her how it all ended. She, of course, lectured me on how I should have known better just like Charlie and Jake.

Getting her off the phone by promising to call over the weekend, I continued looking at the photos. This was really strange, maybe Ian could explain what I was doing wrong. Again technology was getting the best of my efforts, I couldn't even take a simple picture.

My last call was one I actually looked forward to having. Angela was always a good friend and maybe she could offer some advice that would be worthwhile. Not that I didn't appreciate Roxanne's, but Angela knew me longer.

Dialing I found myself getting excited to tell her my news. She was always so good at listening, evaluating when to speak up and when to just let someone ramble. I went back to my bed and sat against the headboard while the phone rang on the other end.

"Hello?" she said in her shy voice. I smiled just hearing her voice.

"Angela, it's Bella. How are you?" I asked excitedly.

"Bella, oh my, hi. I'm great, how's Vermont? Is it everything you wanted?" she sounded so happy to hear from me, I felt myself sigh in relief.

"Things are great, classes are interesting, my roommate is wonderful, and I love it. Sometimes I miss Forks, but honestly, I'm too busy most of the time. How are things with you and Ben? Do you like Washington State University?"

"It's going great, I'm enjoying being away but it's nice to be close enough to home to head back when I want. Don't you miss that?" she asked concerned.

"No, when I come home for the holidays that will be good for me. You know my last year there was a little tough for me, so the move out here was a good idea. I even found a great job, I'm working at this unbelievable bookstore and my boss is wonderful."

I wanted to get her opinion, but I didn't know how to begin the topic. Angela and I were friends, but we hadn't really discussed a lot of personal things in the past, she was just very understanding. Somehow I knew if anyone could help me sort out my feelings, it would be her.

"Bella, I'm so happy for you. It sounds like you did make the right choice. So have you met a lot of new people?" she asked sounding hopeful. This was the segue I needed.

"Actually, yes. I've been dating." I hesitated and took a deep breath. "He's great Ang, he's kind, considerate, cute, helpful…everything a girl could want." I finished by sighing.

"Bella, I don't mean to intrude and if you don't want to tell me I'd understand, but why if he's so great do you sound so sad?" She was always so perceptive; this is why calling her was the right decision.

"I don't know, that's part of the reason I called you Angela. I'm having a tough time sorting out my feelings. On one hand, I really like him, but now since things have been progressing I started thinking about Edward again. Well, I never really stopped thinking about him. The closer to me Ian gets, the more I push him away because I still love Edward." I said. There it's out, I told her what she already knew, but at least I said it out loud.

She sighed, "Bella, what you and Edward had was special. More special than any relationship I've ever seen, even in the movies. I'm not sure that you'll ever get over him and maybe you're just not ready for another relationship." she hesitated before continuing.

"You know what I would do, it's going to sound silly, but it always works for me. Why don't you write down all the things you like about Ian and all the things you loved about Edward? I know...it sounds like you're comparing them, because you are. After all, that's what you're doing anyway. Why not put it on paper and see what comes of writing it down? You need to find someone like Edward that brings the happiness I always saw on your face. You were never happier than when you were with Edward, Bella. It's like he was your other half." She laughed then.

"I'm not sure if I'm helping you or not, but it might be worth a try. Have you heard from any of them?" She said shyly.

"No, not a word...but that doesn't stop me from loving him any less. Thanks Ang. I think that suggestion might help, at the very least it may sort out some of the feelings I've been having. I'm actually dreaming about Edward again."

We continued talking about her classes and Ben before hanging up. Grabbing a pad and pen, I lay down on my bed and crossed my feet in the air and began making my list. Before I knew it I had one whole side of the page listed with everything I missed about Edward. The next page had about 15 items I liked about Ian. I frowned as I reviewed his list, there had to be more but I struggled with coming up with the 15 things.

Rolling over on the bed and staring at the ceiling, I thought long and hard. I was settling, Ian was a nice guy but he was no Edward. The way that Edward looked at me, like he was looking into my soul, his crooked smile that could melt my heart, his golden honey colored eyes and his velvety voice that made me weak in the knees; all these things made me melt into a puddle of nothing. Ian didn't do this for me, he was everything I told Jake and Angela, but he wasn't Edward.

Although reaching this decision wasn't one that would improve my life any, it was a decision nonetheless and that's what was always the struggle for me. Now that I'd made my decision, I just had to follow through with it. I needed to let Ian know that this relationship would never work out. He needed to know that only one man held my heart and nothing would ever change that. Perhaps I'd wind up 80 years old and alone, but I wouldn't trade those few months with Edward for anything in the world.

Standing up I put my pad in my backpack and headed downstairs to get some homework done. Now that I'd sorted through my feelings and made my decision I could focus on schoolwork again.

* * *


	28. Plotting the Plan

Plotting the Plan

**Stephenie Meyer is still the genius behind Twilight! **

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EPOV

My decision pleased my family and they were anxious to help in any way they could. As Alice and I developed our plans we outlined which members would be necessary to succeed and determined that we would need Jasper and Emmett. Alice wanted to have Rosalie assist but I declined, although Rosalie had softened towards Bella, I didn't think it would help to soften Bella's acceptance of the family in her life again if Rosalie were part of the plan. My family, knowing how much this meant to me, was anxious to help.

It was the first time for me to stroll the Champlain College's campus and I was impressed with what I saw. For a small school it had all the amenities of a larger school, I stood outside one of the halls waiting for Roxanne to finish her class. My goal was to follow her to determine her schedule so our next phase in the plan could be accomplished.

Bella's current condition afforded me a short time period that I could leave her alone, since I was the only one capable of obtaining the information we needed through my ability to read minds. Hearing Roxanne's thoughts were important to the success for two reasons, we needed to know her whereabouts during the day while she was away from Bella, and although my family didn't know this reason, I needed to find out some of what Bella had told her of our family.

In my heart I knew that Bella would never break her promise, but a year had passed and perhaps the promise didn't mean anything to her anymore. She didn't understand the repercussions of having humans know of our existence. If Bella had given any thought to it, her belief would have centered on the fact that humans either wouldn't accept it as true or if they did they would panic. But harboring our secret was more important than she realized.

Roxanne's class was just letting out and I quickly found her. Following from a safe distance, her thoughts were focused on her next class. After thinking of where she would be heading, she began reflecting about a Halloween party. She was conducting a mental checklist on everything she still needed to accomplish. One of the items she wanted to complete soon was to get Bella a costume; she was stressed because with Bella's accident they hadn't chosen a costume yet. Bella's arm being in a cast caused a few complications in the selection of her attire.

We made it to her next class and I was able to get what I needed for the moment, which was great, as I desperately wanted to return to Bella. Her accident had upset me thoroughly, but offered its advantages as she couldn't return to classes today and was left at home while most of her other residents weren't there. Knowing where she was and that Emmett was keeping an eye on her relieved me somewhat.

I met up with Alice who gave me the item I asked her to acquire for me. We briefly discussed what I had discovered by following Roxanne and decided that tomorrow would be the day we took the first step. Of course everything she saw and I heard, was reliant on humans and this was a cause for concern because of their unpredictable actions, but we would proceed.

When I arrived at Bella's house Emmett had told me all was quiet. He was disappointed that Bella hadn't done anything 'funny' to entertain him while he was watching her. She had spent her morning watching TV, making phone calls and doing class work. When he saw my glare, he shrugged and quickly departed.

Listening intently, I determined that Bella was alone in the house. I jumped up on the deck and peered into the window, she wasn't in the main room so I quietly opened the door and crept to the corner. Staying in the shadows, I listened to determine her exact location in the house. She was in the shower, affording me the opportunity to take care of a few matters.

Glancing around the room I decided that the best place for my first clue was to leave it on the table by the chair next to the fireplace. Placing it on top magazines and papers, I walked to the front door and left another item near the entry; quickly making my way back to the sliding door again as I heard her coming downstairs. She went into the kitchen and I heard her making herself something, it sounded like she was getting a drink. Waiting in an evergreen bush next to the deck felt foolish, but it was worth it. I was smiling just thinking about revealing myself to her again.

I was brought back from my musings as I heard the door open. Watching from my hiding spot, I watched as she got settled into one of the lounges and began reading. She was so beautiful; her hair was shining in the afternoon sun and seemed to shimmer around her face. As she read, I studied her face, the way her lashes flickered slightly as her eyes skimmed the pages, her lips moving faintly with each word, and the way the sun reflected off her skin. Soon I saw her eyelids drooping slightly and knew she would fall asleep. My sweet Bella, drifting off once again as the sun warmed her, it always acted as a sedative for her. Relaxing her deeply and making it difficult for her to keep focused on her book, it was just a matter of moments before she was sleeping soundly.

Once I was sure she was asleep, I jumped on the deck lithely. Resisting the urge to go to her I made my way into the house while it was still empty. Running up the steps to her room, I entered and inhaled deeply enjoying the wonderful scent. It was easy to identify which side of the room was hers; Bella was never very neat but clearly Roxanne took the trophy for disarray. Bella's desk had an orderly stack of items, while Roxanne had piles of papers, receipts and pens. Moving quickly to my angel's desk I opened the drawer and not finding what I wanted, went to her bedside table. Ah ha, grabbing it and pocketing it for later I headed back downstairs.

She was still sleeping when I went back out, the sun had shifted and she was in the shade now. I went back into the main room and found a blanket; I placed her book on the table and covered her so she wouldn't catch a cold. I knelt beside the chair breathing in her scent and watching intently as she slept. Lightly touching her cheek I heard her whisper my name and smiled.

Hearing someone coming up the front steps, I cursed under my breath and jumped off the deck to hide once again in the bushes. As I listened to find out who was entering, I discovered it was the two boys, Ian and Drake. Slightly aggravated knowing it was them that interrupted my precious moments with Bella; I listened to hear what they were discussing and thinking. The boy Drake was trying to discuss one of the courses they shared, while Ian's mind was far from class. He was wondering where Bella was and it was concern for her comfort that was occupying his thoughts. They entered the common room and he must have seen her immediately because his thoughts relaxed.

"Drake, Bella's out on the deck I'd like to go see how her day was, I'll catch you later." He said as he crossed the room and opened the door. He attempted to be very quiet so as not to wake her and I could hear his thoughts, they were very similar to mine. It was odd though; his observances didn't disturb me as they had several days ago. He was admiring her beauty and I wasn't getting worked up into a jealous rage, oddly I felt proud. His admiration of her was heartwarming, I was pleased that he saw the splendor of Bella that always tugged at my non-existent heart whenever looking at her.

She stirred slightly as he adjusted a chair so that it was beside hers. He reached out and brushed a strand of hair out of her face, her eyes fluttered open. When she saw him I saw a brief flash of disappointment in her beautiful brown eyes, it was only there for a moment. Maybe it was my imagination, because she smiled at him and said "hi" in a breathy whisper. His response was to take her right hand in his bring it to his lips and kiss it, while smiling in return. Now my anger was beginning to rise, the jealous part of me wasn't so controlled that this scene didn't disturb me.

"How was your day?" he asked rubbing circles on her hand.

"Too quiet actually. This place is too big without anyone around. I watched some TV, made some calls back home, did some class work and then came out here." Looking down at herself she said, "oh thanks for covering me."

"I didn't cover you, you had the blanket when I came out." He said perplexed. His thoughts were concerned scanning her face wondering if she was completely awake.

"That's odd, I didn't bring a blanket out. Oh well, maybe someone else in the house covered me, although I don't know who would be that considerate other than you!" she said smiling.

Shaking his head, "Bella, there's no one here except me and Drake. Drake came home with me and I know for a fact that he didn't put the blanket on you. Are you sure you didn't do it?" he asked her. His thoughts were racing wondering if her painkillers were too much for her system, thinking perhaps that they should cut the dosage.

"No Ian, don't you think I would remember that." She said slightly angry.

"Don't get upset, I'm just saying that it wasn't me or Drake. Maybe someone else came home and put it on you and then left again" he said unconvincingly. He was worried that she was angry with him; he had only questioned it because he knew she was the only one home. I chuckled to myself as I thought of the discomfort my actions had caused him.

Bella sat quietly staring at her lap. I had always wanted to hear her thoughts and this moment was no exception. If only I could have an idea of the thoughts she was having, was she really that angry with him, was she wondering how the blanket came to be covering her…

"Did you get a chance to go see John today?" she asked quietly. I knew this tone, it was the same one she used on me several occasions when she wanted to change the subject to avoid conflict.

"I called him, he said if you're feeling up to it you can come in tomorrow. Are you sure you want to return to work so quickly?" he asked. '_If she's forgetting about the blanket maybe she shouldn't return to work or school. She won't listen to me, maybe Anne can suggest it to her_,' his thoughts came to me.

"Ian, I need to talk to you." Bella said as she stared at her lap. "I think it's time that I tell you about my past." At this point I became nervous, I couldn't imagine where she was headed with this statement.

"Bella, you don't have to tell me anything that you don't feel comfortable sharing," he said nervously. His thoughts were just as nervous, '_why now?_ _I don't have a good feeling about this; ever since the accident she's been distracted, almost distant.'_

"Hello, hey where is everyone?" I heard from in the house. Both Bella and Ian stared at one another before answering, "Out here." Roxanne came walking out the door, looking harried. "Hey guys, where's Drake?" she asked.

"He's in his room I think," Ian said. "What's up with you? You look like you've run a marathon." He was glad Roxanne had arrived hoping to avoid the conversation that Bella was leading up to.

"Well, I figured out what Bella should be for the party! If you're feeling up to it Bella, I want to take you to the costume shop," she said excitedly. As her thoughts came to me I could only smile, this girl truly was a good friend. I'm not sure I liked her idea for Bella's costume but it was appropriate for her considering that it was Bella.

Bella smiled at Roxanne, "Oh this should be interesting. What have you decided I should be?"

"Nope, you need to come to the shop. I don't want Ian to know until the night of the party and well, um…I'm honestly not sure if you'll like the idea. So I'm going to spend the time it takes us to get to the shop to convince you." Roxanne's thoughts were racing through the various costumes she had considered for Bella, settling again on the one that seemed to please her most. I continued listening until I heard what I needed, the name of the costume shop.

"You have my curiosity aroused," Ian said as he thought of Bella in a number of costumes that made me growl lowly. This boy needed to get these images out of his mind or I would have to remove them from his mind. He stood extending his hand to Bella to assist her in standing. She whispered, "Maybe we can talk later", he just looked into her eyes and nodded. His thoughts were torn from Bella in various costumes to worry.

As she stood, she said to him, "I'm just as curious but if she has to convince me, then I'm probably not going to like her idea." She laughed as she retrieved her cup and the blanket. "I'll go with you on one condition, if we can get something to eat," she said as she crossed the deck to enter the house.

As they prepared to leave I headed to my car, following them on foot would be too difficult at this hour in the day. While I waited for them to exit the house, I called information to get the address of the shop, shortly Roxanne and Bella were at the door and I watched as my love walked away with her back to me. They were heading towards town and I took off to find the store and get settled before they arrived.

When I arrived at the store, I realized it would be much easier then expected to spy on them as the store was crowded with humans all looking for their costumes for the coming holiday. There were racks of various costumes in all sizes and shapes. Waiting within the aisles for them to arrive, I heard Roxanne's thoughts as they entered. Her ability to convince Bella hadn't gone well; apparently she didn't possess Alice's unique abilities of persuasiveness.

"No Roxanne, I'm sure we'll find something but I am not going as Dorothy." Bella declared stubbornly. Dorothy where did that come from, that was not the costume she had been considering.

"All right, all right. Since you've shot down all my other ideas…no, you won't like it either, never mind." Oh I see, perhaps she did have her own skills of persuasion.

"What is it Roxanne, you know you want to tell me." Bella said completely frustrated.

"Well, what if you went as an accident victim. We could wrap you up in bandages and maybe another cast, you know, make you look like you've been in a car accident, bruises and all." She smiled brilliantly. She knew she had her; her thoughts were celebrating her clever skills. I couldn't help but smile, yes…Alice would be proud.

Before Bella could answer, my cell phone began vibrating. I pulled it out, saw it was Alice calling and knew I had to take it. She must have news, flipping open the phone, I heard her screaming excitedly…"Edward, that was great, she's going to take the bait. I'm impressed with her friend's ability!" Walking towards the back of the store I hissed, "Yes Alice. I can't really talk now I'll be home shortly and you can tell me all about this. Do you have any news of importance?" I asked my sister.

"No, all is quiet, but you should hunt soon. You need to prepare for meeting Bella," she said seriously. She was right, this afternoon while with Bella the cravings were tugging at the edges.

"She'll be alright if I leave?"

"She's in very safe hands Edward, she'll be fine. Come home we'll hunt together." She ended the call.

Looking around and listening, I heard Roxanne and Bella at the other side of the store making plans for dinner. Moving through the aisles I headed towards the door and my car. The plan was going to work, my confidence rose as I walked to my car.

* * *


	29. Dressing Windows

**Dressing Windows**

**Nothing from the Twilight Series or Ms. Meyers works belong to me!**

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EPOV

When I arrived home Alice launched herself at me the moment I was in the door.

"I'm disappointed I couldn't help with picking out Bella's costume. That would have been fun and Roxanne could use my help, you know I would have been a real asset in getting her what she needs," she pouted while the smile never left her eyes. She was excited. It wasn't just the costume for Bella it was the whole idea of me revealing myself to Bella again. She knew it was just a matter of time and she would have her friend back.

Smiling I continued walking to the couch and sat down, "Alice you need to temper your enthusiasm, the anticipation would kill you if you weren't already dead." I teased.

Very nearly dancing she stepped over to the couch and sat beside me. "Well the items you cleverly planted will work out well." She said knowingly. "They're just enough to do the trick, but subtle enough so she won't drive herself crazy." She was smiling proudly. Alice always loved a good plan and ours had no chance of failure. I had much more confidence knowing now Bella still loved me.

"We'll go hunt, I just want to tell Jasper where we're going? Would you mind if he came along?" she asked as she walked to the stairs, looking back over her shoulder.

Nodding in agreement I sat on the couch with a grin on my face. I haven't felt this elated in a year, the monster within me was slowly getting under control. My urges concerning Bella were much more related to the love I felt for her as opposed to my natural instincts. Staying by her this afternoon still stirred the thirst within me, but my love was overwhelmingly stronger. I was becoming accustomed to her smell again, the wonderful way it aroused the human emotions inside me.

I frowned as I realized what a fool I had been this past year, the only thing that mattered was Bella. She was the only reason for my existence to have any meaning. Watching from the sidelines would never be enough, she loved me and I loved her. We would find a way to make this work, as absurd as a situation as it was…a vampire and human in love, we would make it work.

Alice and Jasper's thoughts awakened me from my reflection, they were ready to hunt and I was anxious to discuss the next steps. It was good Jasper would join us; his male insight would benefit me greatly. Alice was great at providing Bella's perspective, but Jasper could help me understand more of my feelings as a man.

This evening couldn't pass fast enough; I was growing impatient to have all the pieces fall into place.

The next day Alice and I were settled on campus, I was going over the final instructions with her before heading to find Bella. "Edward, I know what I'm doing. Please stop nagging me with questions on this. I'll call you later and let you know how everything turns out, but based on what I can see it will go as planned. Now you should leave before you ruin everything." She smiled brightly at me.

Walking slowly away I wanted to stay to witness this moment for myself, but knew in my heart that Alice had it under control. I was torn, this moment was crucial in our plan, yet being with Bella was always the most persistent longing in me. Running at a human pace to my car, I started it and headed towards North Country Books. Bella's workday was to begin shortly, Jasper had called to let me know her last class had let out and he would meet me on Church Street.

As I stood in the shadows across the street, I saw her approaching the door of the store and smiled. She looked lovely, her face held a trace of frustration and I wagered it was due to the cast currently on her arm. I recognized the look from over a year ago when she had to wear the cast on her leg. Jasper approached from the opposite side of the street as soon as Bella entered the store.

"Is Alice in position?" he asked as he watched my face staring at the store.

Nodding my head I continued watching the storefront before turning to him and asking, "So did she have a good day so far?"

"Uneventful, just one troublesome spot. That boy from her house ran into her when she was crossing campus," he shook his head before continuing. "I don't like the feelings emanating from him Edward. He's entirely too possessive and threatening, that boy needs to be dealt with." His face showed concern and I turned back to the store quickly before looking back at him.

"What happened?" I asked him sternly. This distraction was unwelcome and one I couldn't afford to get out of hand before I met with Bella face to face. After her accident he seemed to put things in perspective, now he was back to being a threat, not for long though.

"Nothing serious, he just approached Bella and I could feel her tension immediately. He asked if he could help with her backpack as she walked to her next class. She brushed him off gracefully as only Bella can do. The incident itself was harmless; it's his feelings that trouble me. Maybe we should watch him as well, perhaps Rosalie could help?" he suggested.

"No, I told you he's mine. We'll have Alice keep an eye on the situation, just in case. I can't afford to have this distract me, but I will deal with him once Bella knows I'm back." The anger inside me was building and I needed to calm down quickly. This boy would be handled, there was no doubt in my mind about that, there were other pressing matters that needed tending first.

Shrugging he said, "Okay, but I think Rose would really enjoy playing a while with the boy," he smiled. At this thought I smiled as well, Rose could certainly have a good time with that task. Like a cat playing with a mouse, she would drive him into complete and utter terror. That was not the way I wanted him dealt with though. He needed to know that Bella was taken and not by Ian, someone much more opposing, someone who would rip him apart in mere seconds. That was my responsibility and I would enjoy it much more after telling Bella how much I loved her.

'_Your decision'_ he thought instead of speaking_. 'I'll be at home if you need me.'_ With that he left my side heading home.

I crossed the street in order to be closer to Bella and the store. As I looked into the window I witnessed her sitting on a chair by a table that hadn't been there on my previous visits. Her boss wasn't in the immediate area, so I just gazed in the window watching my love as she struggled with sorting through books one armed. Chuckling slightly as I could see the frustration building in her face.

Stepping back into the corner of the bookstore and the adjoining store, I listened carefully to see if I could hear her boss's thoughts. I needed to focus; thoughts of Bella always distracted me. I heard his thoughts as he began approaching Bella, _'I don't know why she seemed so upset when I asked her to merchandise the window? I thought it would be a nice change of pace and something she could easily manage with one arm.'_

"Bella," he said to get her attention. "If you don't want to dress the window, I'll do it. My intent was to give you a task that could be easily managed with one arm."

"No, I'm fine. Are you sure you want to put all these books in the window?" she questioned him.

"Yes, one of my better customers suggested it after seeing my display over there. Apparently interest is increasing on this subject." His statement finished in a questioning tone. _'Halloween brings out different interests…'_

I heard Bella standing at that moment and I made my way to the other side of the store to get another look through the window. Her boss was helping her to carry a pile of books to just below the window and I pulled back quickly and crossed the street.

Bella climbed into the window and began setting up the books into a display complete with Halloween decorations. It took her about 2 hours to complete her task and she stepped out of the window and came out the door shortly to survey her work. Shrugging her shoulders she walked back inside. I hurried over to see the result of her efforts. I had to bite back the laugh that threatened to expose me; there in the window was an assortment of books…the subject matter all related. Vampires! This had to be the work of Alice; she had to be behind this stunt.

Just then my cell phone vibrated, opening the phone I moved quickly back to my position across the street. Laughing I answered, "Hello Alice. Nice touch!"

Her melodic laugh came through the phone, "I thought you would like that. It's my surprise to you. I stopped in yesterday and suggested that a window display on vampires was sure to draw in customers." She was still laughing. "He, of course, couldn't resist my recommendation."

"Don't you think perhaps that's taking it a bit too far? You could be tipping our hand too soon." I stated as I began to worry this might be making it too obvious to Bella.

"No, I checked. Don't worry; she just thinks it's a strange coincidence. As our plan progresses though she's going to put all the pieces together; our Bella is too perceptive to not see our role in this." She said still chuckling.

"Well how did your assignment go? Are we still on schedule?" I asked beginning to get anxious. Alice's role today was critical to moving forward, if she failed the whole plan would need to be revised, not something I wanted to consider. The thought of having to change our tactics made me apprehensive, the sooner our plans fell into place the sooner Bella would know how much I loved her.

"We're on, she was great Edward. She wants to meet you, in fact she'd like to speak with you right now, I think she has a few choice things to say." She giggled. "I told her I was calling you to come help with my car, are you ready?" she asked nervously.

Thinking briefly before answering, I looked up to see Ian walking down the sidewalk. "I'll be there shortly, where are you?" I asked.

"We're inside the Student Center, don't make it too fast…she thinks you're at home. And Edward, as much as I love your impeccable taste in attire you should look a little disheveled. Remember you're a mess!" she stressed.

"It will be my most impressive performance Alice." I said while watching Ian enter the store. "Let me just have Emmett come watch over Bella, I'll be right there." Hanging up I dialed Emmett and asked him to come.

While I was waiting my thoughts went over the task Alice had just achieved. She was to sit outside the Student Center waiting for Roxanne. Her performance was to appear inconsolable, crying deeply. With our knowledge of Roxanne's nature, we knew she wouldn't be able to resist a crying young woman. Once Roxanne approached to comfort her, Alice would begin protesting how silly she was. Explaining it was a combination of things hitting her all at once, she was having car trouble but mostly her tears were for her brother who was severely depressed. She would spin the tale, although she probably didn't have too much spinning to do considering my behavior this past year.

Our goal was to let Roxanne know how miserable I was without Bella and how it was destroying our family. If Alice and I were correct, Roxanne wouldn't be able to resist attempting to soothe Alice's mind.

Emmett arrived and I instructed him that he was to stay close to Ian and Bella, if they came anywhere near the Student Center he needed to alert us immediately. He winked and said, "No problem, I'll make sure they steer clear."

"Emmett, it's important you don't pull any stunts. I need to know you won't do anything, this is too important." I lectured.

"I've got your back Edward, go take care of business. I promise nothing will happen." He shoved me slightly towards the direction of my car. I glanced over my shoulder as I walked away, my nerves were unraveling, putting this much faith in Emmett's unpredictable nature was a strain.

Taking my time driving to the campus was a struggle even without my love for speed. I was apprehensive and needed to get there. Exiting my car, I pulled my shirt out of my pants, slouched my shoulders and hung my head. Walking slowly shuffling my feet, I entered the Student Center. This must be the performance of a lifetime, convincing Roxanne that Bella and I belonged to each other was critical.

Stopping in the doorway, I looked around the room. I saw them immediately, but made it appear it was an effort to find them. Alice waved at me, calling me forward. Shuffling over with my hands in my pockets, I asked in a monotone voice "Alice, where's your car? I'll stay while the tow truck comes; you can take mine. Let me have your keys?"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Roxanne surveying me. At first her eyes registered my looks with the typical reaction of most females and then her eyes hardened and she sat still watching me carefully. I listened to her thoughts, _'Oh My God, Bella was right he's gorgeous. That's not the point; this is the jerk that destroyed her. Well, we'll just see how remorseful he is. From what Alice says, he's devastated and barely speaks to anyone. Maybe he's in worse shape than Bella, good he probably deserves it. She's at least going to school, working and trying to get on with life.' _

"Edward, I'd like you to meet a new friend of mine," she gestured her hand to Roxanne. "She was kind enough to sit with me while I waited for you." She smiled at Roxanne, "Roxanne this is my brother Edward."

"Nice to meet you Edward, your sister and I were just getting to know each other. She was so upset about the car, she looked like she needed a friend." She said stiffly. She was still accessing me, waiting for something to assure her that I was right for Bella.

"That was nice of you, thanks. Alice has been a little distracted lately." I looked at Alice sympathetically. "Sorry Alice, I know you didn't need this. You can use my car as long as it takes to get yours back in running order. Well, I'll just call the tow company and wait by your car." Looking back at Roxanne I said, "Nice to meet you and thanks again."

I turned away after getting Alice's keys before Roxanne said, "Wait, sit for a minute. I want to tell you something Alice and I discovered." She said quickly before I could get too far. Smiling faintly before putting on my mask of despair, I turned back looking at her puzzled.

Looking from her to Alice and then back, "You…seem nice...and I don't want to appear rude, but I really would like to get home." I stuttered and forced a smile.

Alice jumped up and said, "No Edward, really take my chair. I'll get another, you should hear what Roxanne has to say." She walked away to get a chair while I sat and looked at Roxanne expectantly.

"Well, it really is my pleasure to meet you," she began as she sat back in her chair. "in talking with Alice it turns out we have a mutual friend. When she told me you were originally from Washington State and had just moved here, I thought of my roommate immediately. And then," she hesitated and looked at me piercingly. _'He really is handsome, I can see why Bella is having such a hard time forgetting him.'_

Alice chimed in, "I hope you don't mind Edward, but I was just so upset I couldn't get control of my emotions. Roxanne was so kind, I just started pouring my troubles out and I may have mentioned your state of mind." She whispered the last part looking down at her hands. She really was doing a great job of performing, no wonder Roxanne was cooperating. Well, it would take both of us to make this convincing.

My face changed from a mask of bland interest to one of horror. "You did what?" I stood pushing back the chair, "This is my business. Leave me alone." I walked around her chair stomping towards the door.

"Stop, wait." Roxanne called out. "My roommate is Bella Swan!"

I stopped in my tracks and smiled at the door before turning back with a look of shock. Standing, staring at her as if my ears were deceiving me I said, "What did you just say?" I took a few small steps towards them.

"That's right Edward." Alice said as she beamed. "Please stay and listen. Please" she pleaded.

Walking back over I looked at Roxanne and said, "Bella…Bella's in Vermont?"

She bobbed her head up and down, "Yes and I think we should talk now, don't you?" _'I'm not about to let him near Bella for one second unless I find out more about him.'_

I sat stiffly in the chair staring at the floor as if hearing this information for the first time. Looking back at her, she was smiling slightly. "What, how…Oh God." I stammered while sitting back in the chair and running my hands through my hair. "How is she?" I asked anxiously.

Roxanne sat back and smiled, "Well before I tell you about Bella, we should talk about you first. You see, I've grown very fond of Bella and I'll do everything to protect her. Based on what I know from Bella, you're the last person I want her to know is in town. So start telling me your story." _'Let's see how he explains himself, if he's really as remorseful as Alice says…then we'll have to find a way for them to get together again. Drake's going to kill me, but Bella really loves this guy and it's what she needs.'_

'_Edward, I think it's important that you use everything in your powers to convince her now. This is the point of no return.'_ Alice's thoughts came to me.

Moving my eyes slightly so only she could see, I acknowledged her thought. Turning to face Roxanne I said with as much defeat in my voice as I could convey, "What would you like to know?"

"Let's start with your reason for leaving her," she said smugly.

* * *


	30. Gray Days and Longer Evenings

**Gray Days and Longer Evenings Gray Days and Longer Evenings**

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BPOV

After coming home from dinner and costume shopping with Roxanne I was wiped out. I took a deep breath before walking in the door, hoping that Ian wasn't waiting for us. I really didn't want to deal with this issue tonight; I was too tired.

Roxanne was the first through the door and I peeked around her to make sure the coast was clear. No one was lingering in the hallway; I was safe. Heading towards the coat rack I pulled the poncho over my head and hung it up. I stopped short midway between hanging it, is that Edward's scent I smell? No it couldn't be, I hung up the poncho. Yes, I definitely smelled his scent. What was wrong with me? Now I smelled him when I was awake, this is getting out of hand. Shaking my head, I determined that sleep was what I needed; I was probably more tired than I thought. Climbing the stairs to our room, I sighed. It was a long day filled with thoughts of Edward, that's what's wrong…this is why I'm imagining his scent.

After changing into my pajamas, I climbed into bed. Reaching for my iPod on the nightstand my hand felt nothing. What? Where was my iPod? I sat up and looked in the drawer, nothing. Quickly looking under the table and bed, I began to panic. Where's my iPod? It was here this morning; I was playing with it while talking on the phone with everyone. Looking around the room, I headed for my desk. It wasn't there. I dumped out my backpack; I didn't put it in there either. Now what…I didn't want to go downstairs; Ian might still be up and I'm sure I just barely escaped. Crap, what could I have done with it.

Thinking hard, I decided leaving Roxanne a note asking if she had seen it will do for now. Maybe she borrowed it, you never knew with Rox. I scribbled my note to her and climbed back into bed; closing my eyes tightly wishing for sleep to take me away. I would be returning to school and work tomorrow. Thank goodness, at least this would occupy my thoughts with something other than Ian or Edward. The distraction was welcomed.

I felt my eyelids getting heavy and fell fast asleep. My dreams were vivid once again; Edward was standing in front of me. His face was desperate, he was saying something but I couldn't hear him. I need to know, explain yourself, I was shouting. He just shook his head while backing away until he disappeared. I shouted after him, no…don't leave; please stay. I need to know what you were saying. Falling to my knees, my head on the ground…I sobbed.

I woke with a start; my face still wet with tears. The light was on; Roxanne was sitting up looking at me with pity in her eyes. Hanging my head I said, "Don't Rox, I can't get into it, I don't want to relive it." I sobbed.

She came to my bed and held me. "Bella it will get better, it has to. You can't go on like this; please I'm begging you talk to someone. I'm not helping and this is ripping you apart." She whispered while soothing my sobs by stroking my hair.

Pulling back from her and wiping the fresh tears from my face I said, "Roxanne, no amount of talking will make this end. I know what's wrong; my other half is missing. A person can't live without a part of themselves…its like needing air or water. My subconscious has been reminding me what is missing ever since I got involved with Ian. I'm not consciously pushing Ian away; this is my subconscious telling me I'm settling. I know you don't understand, but surely even you must see this isn't just a high school crush," my eyes pleaded with her. She had to understand, I needed her to understand.

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm beginning to see how much he meant to you. We'll figure this out Bella, I promise. You're my best friend; we'll work this out together. Now lie down and try to get some sleep. It's important you get sleep, we have classes tomorrow and you need to rest." She gently pushed my shoulders back so my head rested on the pillow and pulled the covers up to my neck. "Do you want me to leave the light on?" she asked.

Shaking my head no, she reached up and turned out the light before heading back to her own bed. Laying there in the dark, I thought about what she said. I didn't know how we would make this all right, he had moved on and there was no way to turn back time. The only thing to do now was to learn how to live without him and deal with the subconscious thoughts when they came. The fact that they had become more frequent was probably due to my feelings for Ian, being so conflicted memories I had suppressed for over a year were now coming forward. I had to correct that tomorrow, I thought as my lids began to get heavy.

When I woke up the next morning the sky was a pearly gray. It reflected my mood; although I was able to fall back asleep it didn't do anything to improve my mood. I was melancholy and just wanted to stay in bed. Knowing this was impossible; I threw the covers off and headed for the bathroom to prepare for the day knowing it would be a long one. Roxanne was gone already and this gave me the extra time in the shower I needed.

Heading down to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat, I stepped through the door carefully. I wasn't quite ready to face the day yet. There was no one around. Great, this gave me a chance to have a cup of coffee and mentally prepare. When I went to the table I noticed there was an envelope sitting on it with my name scrawled on the front. Upon closer examination, I noticed it was Ian's handwriting, sighing I opened it. _Hey, hope you had fun last night. I hope today goes well but remember to take it easy. I'll drop by the store later; maybe we can have dinner?_ Folding it I placed it in my backpack, this really was going to be a long day.

Chugging the rest of my coffee I rinsed it out my mug and placed it in the sink. Walking to the door, I noticed a new item on the community board. Looking closer to see what it was my hand grasped it. It was a recipe for mushroom ravioli. I staggered a bit as I looked at it. This brought back a moment in time I hadn't thought about in over a year. The feelings it evoked in me today were as clear as the evening they happened. The excitement of being with him, the anticipation of finding out more about him, the way he studied my face; that was the evening all barriers were broken down. I hadn't realized it but my hand was shaking as I held the recipe card in my hand, these memories were so clear and lovely but I had pushed them from my mind so long ago. I smiled as I remembered the way he made me feel that evening, like I was the most important person in the room. Earth to Bella, enough reminiscing I was going to be late for class if I didn't get moving.

Putting the card back on the board, I walked out and grabbed my poncho. As I slipped it over my head again I smelled his scent it wasn't as strong this morning. This was getting ridiculous, I needed to get out of this house, someplace where the memories wouldn't cascade down on me. School and work were just what I needed.

My classes did the trick; my attention was diverted from both Ian and Edward. As I headed to work after my Integrating Technology class I remembered I needed to show Ian my pictures. I really wanted to know what I was doing wrong; maybe there was a defect with my camera. When he came to the store later, I would show him the pictures.

Entering the store I noticed John had set up a folding table and chair in the corner closest to the window. He looked up and came around the counter. "Bella, how are you feeling? I was sorry to hear about your accident, does it hurt much?" he asked as he took my backpack from me putting it behind the counter.

"No, it's much better; of course I'll have this on for several weeks." I grimaced.

"When Ian called to let me know you would be returning to work today I was surprised. Delighted, but surprised. I have an assignment I think you'll like and will be able to accomplish with one arm. Have a seat, I set this table up to make it easy." He said as he pulled some books out of a box from the floor.

"I'd like you to review these books and decorations to set up my front window." He said smiling. As I looked at the titles my heart stopped momentarily. "How does that sound? I thought you'd like to do something a little more creative today."

"Um, sure. I've never done anything like this though. I'm not sure I'm really qualified; at Newton's where I used to work, Mrs. Newton always took care of the windows." I said as I picked up each book and placed them on the table.

"I'm sure it will be fine. You seem to have a flair for the interior of the store, now you're just extending the talent so people on the street can see your abilities" he chuckled as he patted my shoulder. "I'll leave you to it. If you need any assistance just let me know." He said as he walked back to his office.

Was every book in that box about vampires? This had to be some sort of sick joke, did he know…no way! Oh good grief, it was Halloween. Why wouldn't he put these books in the window? I was making way too much out of this, a normal person wouldn't give the titles a second thought. Snap out of it Bella!

I decided to focus on the decorations first, this way I wouldn't get too caught up in the subject matter of the books. Pulling the items out of the box, I shook my head…yeah this wasn't helping either. Inside the box were, false teeth, plastic crosses, fake garlic; it even had a cape and a wooden dagger. This assignment was not helping my mood at all. I sat heavily back on the chair.

John came walking out from the back just then; he was frowning. I guess he thought I should have gotten further on the assignment. Not wanting to disappoint him, I started sorting through the books to select the ones I thought might be good.

"Bella, if you don't want to dress the window, I'll do it. My intent was to give you a task that could be easily managed with one arm," he said as he walked up along side me.

"No, I'm fine. Are you sure you want to put all _these_ books in the window?" I asked.

"Yes, one of my better customers suggested it after seeing my display over there. Apparently interest is increasing on this subject." He was looking at the books I selected. I sighed and grabbed some of the books as I made my way into the window. He helped me gather the books and I focused on the task at hand. Might as well, just get it done.

I had just completed the window and was settling in behind the counter when Ian walked in the door. Smiling as he entered he said, "Hey, you look great. How do you feel?"

"Good, you're a little early though. I don't get off for another half hour." I said trying to keep the anxiety out of my voice. Tonight was the night I had to let him know my true feelings; I gulped at the thought.

"Sorry, should I come back? I thought I'd come a little early to see how you were managing." He said with some disappointment in his voice.

"No, it's fine. My concern was for you, I didn't want you to get bored hanging out here. Oh…I know; you won't be bored. If you don't mind could you look at some of my pictures, there seems to be some odd blur marks in them. I'm probably doing something wrong, but maybe it's a defect in my camera." I said as I pulled my laptop out of my backpack.

He chuckled, "Sure, I'd bet anything it's a setting you switched on the camera, knowing you. Let's see."

Turning the laptop to face him I walked around the front of the counter and stood by him. I didn't have to indicate the spots I was talking about; he saw them immediately. "Huh, that is odd. This isn't a setting on the camera, Bella. It looks like something in the image moved at the moment you snapped the shutter." He said puzzled as he put his face closer to the LCD on the laptop.

Staring at the pictures, I was confused. "What do you mean?"

Standing up to his full height, he looked at me and pointed at the photo on the screen. "You see this spot, it looks like something was there and moved when you took the picture; causing the blur. Didn't you see anything when you took the picture?"

Shaking my head no I said, "But how can that be, look Ian…all of these photos have the spots. Are you telling me every time I was taking a picture there was something that moved in them?"

"It's an odd coincidence, but that's what it is. Sorry I didn't have a more suitable answer for you. You just need to be more careful when setting up your shots. No big deal, they're still nice pictures." He said smiling as he shut down the program and closed the laptop. "Are you ready for dinner? Your work day is officially over and I don't know about you; but I'm hungry."

I was staring at the counter confused, I wasn't a professional photographer by any stretch of the imagination, but this was really peculiar. You would think I would have seen something in the shots, there were so many with that odd blur.

"Bella, are you all right?" he asked lifting my chin so I was making eye contact with him.

"Yeah, fine." I said absently. "Let's go get something to eat. John, I'm heading home now," I shouted.

As he walked out of his office he called out, "Have a good night. Thanks for the window, it looks great."

Ian looked down at me, "Window? What's he talking about?"

"He had me decorate the window for Halloween," I said as I pointed at the window. I looked at it and smiled, it really did look festive. Ian wrapped his arm around me proudly and kissed me on top of my head.

"It looks great, vampires huh, another fascination of yours? I always thought they were interesting, I guess it's another thing we have in common," he chuckled. "So I guess one armed Bella is just as talented as the two armed one. Let's get something to eat," he said as he wrapped his arm around me pulling me away from the window.

We found a nice little pub on Church Street and after reviewing the menu we ordered. I looked across the table at him after the waitress left. He was smiling slightly, I sighed and unwrapped my silverware from the napkin. "Bella, you can tell me about your past now, I'm ready to listen," he said reaching across the table and taking my hand.

"You may regret those words after I tell you," I whispered softly not sure if I was saying it for him to hear or just thinking out loud. "You're right it's time." I looked up into his face knowing that in a few short moments I was going to hurt him.

I proceeded telling him everything about my relationship with Edward. He never interrupted; he just let me tell my story. The waitress brought the food and he ate while I played with my food telling him my story. His face never betrayed what he was thinking; Edward's ability would be really useful right now.

When I finished, he sat back sighed and pushed his plate away gently. "That's some story Bella. I'm sorry he put you through all of that. Not intending to sound uncaring, but what does all this mean for us?"

Swallowing hard I looked at him, "I needed to tell you everything so you would understand thoroughly when I ask you to forgive me. You are a great guy Ian. I really thought I was ready to move on, but after the accident I realized I'm not ready. Edward was and _is still_ the only man to hold my heart." I paused to gauge his reaction. This was difficult and I didn't want to make it worse by babbling.

"So, let me see if I have this correct. This guy you met in high school, puts you in danger numerous times, walks away leaving you in a forest never looking back and you're telling me you still love him?" he asked sincerely wanting to understand.

Reaching my hand up to my temple I began rubbing to ease the tension. "When you put it like that it does sound crazy, but Ian I can't help the way I feel. You are wonderful and I was happy with you, but it wasn't the same. I won't give you details of how Edward made me feel, it's not fair to you. Please understand I've been struggling with this decision." I said looking at him trying hard to keep the tears at bay.

Shaking his head slowly he said, "You're right Bella. I knew you were upset about something. You see, the way I feel about you, I can read your emotions like they're my own. The hardest part about this is you haven't even given us a chance. You're shutting down your feelings before having an opportunity to discover what we could be. It makes me sad to think that you will spend so much time loving someone who doesn't even have the courtesy to make sure you are safe before walking away."

The tears were streaming down my face now; there was no stopping them. "Ian please, I never meant to hurt you like this…"

"Stop Bella." He was angrier than I've ever seen him. "You had your say, now it's my turn," he sighed and continued. "Screw how I feel, I'll be fine. Don't you see what you are doing? You are longing for someone that doesn't return your love; sacrificing any future you may have for a boy that has moved on. You have so much love to offer someone. Okay, maybe I'm not that guy, we'll never know now…but you deserve to be happy. What you're telling me tonight is you aren't even willing to explore the possibility." He looked down at his hands, then back at me.

My voice was gone; there was nothing I could say. His words cut deeply and I deserved everything he was saying and more. "Ian…"

He held his hand up to stop me from saying anything. "Bella, please don't apologize again. I couldn't take that, the words don't mean anything." He kept staring at my face, looking for something, his face held pain and contempt. I couldn't hold his gaze any longer; the tears were making it hard to see.

Pulling out his wallet he put some cash on the table, stood and said, "Come on, I'll take you home."

I sat in the chair shaking my head no. "Bella let's go. I'm not leaving you here and I really don't have the stomach to sit here any longer." He waited until I stood up and then abruptly walked to the door with me in his wake.

Silence surrounded us on our way home and when we walked in the door he marched up the stairs to his room. Not wanting to head up right then I walked through the common room and sat out on the deck to collect myself. I was right this morning when I woke; this was a long day. I sat back on the chaise lounge and pulled my knees to my chest crying until the tears wouldn't come any longer.

* * *


	31. Romeo Unveiled

**Romeo Unveiled**

**Nothing from the Twilight Series or Ms. Meyers works belong to me!**

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EPOV

Taking a deep breath I began, "It was the most moronic decision I've ever made, it killed me to do that. Every day since, I see the look on her face from that day when I said those terrible lies to her. It's with me when I open my eyes in the morning and when I close them at night." I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. This was not a performance, this was the truth and my emotions were not an act.

"To truly understand this, you would have had to know how we got together. What did she tell you?" I asked her, hoping to determine exactly what she knew. She didn't have to say the words just the question itself would cause her to think the thoughts.

Her thoughts briefly flashed to Bella explaining my initial feelings when we first met and how I wound up saving her on several occasions. Nothing in her thoughts indicated that Bella had betrayed my family. "No, you don't get to take any short cuts on your explanation Romeo. I want your version of the story before I utter a word about Bella for your comfort." She answered sarcastically.

I decided at this point I needed to stand up to her; any normal guy doing this would be defensive. Actually I was elated with her responses, it confirmed what I already knew, she was a very good friend to Bella. "Hey, who the hell are you? I don't need your approval on my actions" I said rising from my chair.

"Edward wait, relax. Roxanne doesn't mean anything, do you?" Alice asked pleadingly as she looked over at Roxanne.

"Sit down, don't get your panties in a bunch. You can probably tell from my reaction I know a bit more than any person off the street. Knowing this you might want to think about what that means to Bella. I'm in a position to help you, so before you go getting all caveman like, why don't you tell me your side of the story and see if I can help?" she stated smartly.

Sighing heavily I sat back down. "It sounds like you know most of the story, what else do you want to know?" I asked sounding frustrated while not looking at her.

"I'd like the truth. Bella believes she wasn't good enough for you and that's your doing. Don't leave anything out, especially the part that includes how she was in constant danger around you." Her smug remarks were really starting to grate on my nerves; as much as I appreciated her loyalty to Bella there was only so much of this I could stand.

"Bella is special, she's still the most important part of my life even though I haven't seen her in over a year. Before Bella came to into my life I had built a façade around myself, I was somewhat of a ladies man in the towns we lived prior to Forks. After moving to Forks, I kept a distance from girls, it was too small of a town to start breaking hearts. So when Bella arrived, I kept my distance…but then we were thrown together in Biology class and I knew with one look she would be my downfall. There was no way I would be able to resist her and I really didn't want to hurt her." I sat back in the chair and closed my eyes as I remembered that first day; her chocolate brown eyes that are so expressive and the scent that nearly overpowered me and could have caused me to act upon my instincts destroying everything our family had built.

My stomach clenched with the memory, sighing deeply I continued, "Soon it was evident that staying away from Bella wasn't an option, our paths were entwined she was destined to become a part of my life forever. Unfortunately her destiny not only included me, it included every imaginable way to place her in the path of danger. It became my job to protect her from many unforeseen calamities that most people do not encounter in a lifetime. I'm not sure if you've witnessed it, but Bella is a danger magnet," I smiled at her and shrugged.

"Well she's survived a little over a year without your protection, so maybe you're the danger magnet," she said raising an eyebrow and studying my face waiting for a reaction.

Her thoughts reflected on the recent accident. "That's true, apparently Bella has been safe from near death experiences recently, but I would venture to guess her life has not been incident free." I said glancing at her with a slight smile.

Catching her grin as she glanced down at her hands I continued. "We spent nearly every moment together as I became enamored with her. It wasn't just her beauty that appealed to me, her intuitiveness -- the way she could see right through me and call me on it. Day by day she broke down all my barriers and soon she had charmed me and there was no turning back, I was hers and hers alone. I have never felt that way in my _entire_ life and most likely never will again," I exclaimed emphasizing the word entire, knowing that it wouldn't register.

"Soon, too soon for either of us, Carlisle came home and told the family he had been offered a position out of state. We were accustomed to moving frequently and it never bothered me in the past, I had never made any real connections. The thought of leaving Bella tore me to pieces I knew a long distance relationship would never work; we could barely stand being away from each other while we slept. Knowing this move would destroy her; I determined the only way to sever our bond was to tell her the most hideous lie." I hung my head as I recalled the words, how I ever managed to say them is beyond me.

"My only concern was Bella's welfare, I believed that by telling her my love had faded she would move on and find happiness. Believe me when I tell you that this falsehood destroyed me completely, but knowing Bella could move on with her life and become the woman she was born to be was the one thing that kept me on course." I ran my hands through my hair and inhaled deeply. Looking over at her I saw she was completely engrossed in my heartbreaking tale so I continued.

"The most confusing part even today, is that Bella could believe the deception. She never questioned my change in heart; she accepted my decision never inquiring why. Had she argued or resisted in any way, I never would have been able to continue with the farce and walk away. It took every ounce of strength within me to take those steps and leave. My heart stopped beating at that moment, and I've been dead inside since that afternoon." I vowed. I chuckled darkly to myself at the last statement.

I hung my head this wasn't part of the act, this discussion was taking its toll on my emotions, I wished Jasper were here to keep me from falling back into the self-loathing. I listened to her thoughts to see if I needed to provide her with additional information, _'Wow, he has it as bad as Bella…my heart is breaking and I'm only hearing the aftermath of this love story. But what about the death threats…'_ My eyebrows raised at this…death threats…what had Bella told her. I decided to wait her out, let her ask her question.

"It's obvious that you are hurting as much as Bella on the stupid decision you made. I'm not sure if I completely understand why you thought a long distance relationship would be worse than what you are going through now, but you apparently thought it was best. There is one little nagging thing that's bothering me. Bella told me some of your family 'friends'," she said making quotation marks in the air, "wanted to kill her. What was that all about?" she asked as she sat forward in her chair.

What could I say to this complication, I sat back in the chair dramatically and sighed again while I gathered my thoughts to answer her question.

Alice quickly spoke up, "That incident didn't really have any connection to Edward, and they certainly weren't friends of ours. You see my brother Emmett is quite big and in the previous town we lived he broke a young girl's heart, not intentionally of course. The girl wound up hurting herself after we left town and her brother felt that Emmett was to blame. He wanted to avenge his sister. Unfortunately, when he came to town he saw Bella and Emmett together and assumed they were boyfriend and girlfriend. He decided to seek his vengeance by hurting Bella. Like Edward said, Bella's somewhat of a danger magnet." She said shrugging her shoulders. Thank god for Alice's visions and quick thinking!

"Oh, I guess that explains it," she said as she thought about the plausibility of this story. _'Bella did say they were visitors and weren't really connected to their family. Who knows how people will react to protect their loved ones…' _"Well what about the incident around her birthday, just before you left?" she questioned.

This question was much easier to answer, "That accident involved my brothers once again." I said exasperated. "Emmett and Jasper began arguing which quickly erupted into a fight within the house as we were in the process of having Bella's birthday party. She unfortunately was caught in the tussle and crashed into the table that held all of the glassware. A piece of glass cut her arm and she required several stitches." I finished shaking my head.

"Neither episode had any bearing on my decision," I lied. "they were just reasons why I knew the long distance relationship would destroy us. You see if I couldn't be by Bella's side to protect her, it would drive me mad. She would always be in harm's way and knowing that my over protective nature would consume me, the relationship would have additional stress aside from distance." I looked into her eyes with mine using all of my power to convince her.

She was taken off guard by my intense stare and managed to stammer, "This…explains…a lot." I looked away at Alice to see if she had any idea if we had succeeded. _'Edward, it worked, she's going to help,' _she thought. Roxanne's thoughts confirmed Alice's, _'wow, these two really have the worst luck in the world, but they deserve a chance…'_

Roxanne sat forward in her chair and looked at me again, "I'm sorry I put you through that Edward. I hope you understand why; I had to know. Bella's feelings and happiness are as important to me as they are you; I needed to make sure you were sincere. I have only one question left. If you have the chance to explain yourself…will you leave her again if she takes you back?" her scrutiny was impressive even when measured by vampire standards.

Running my hands through my hair I answered her honestly, "Roxanne, you do not know me but I am by nature a very selfish person. No one's feelings ever mattered to me, except Bella's. Had I known what hell I would go through for a year, I assure you the words I uttered on that fateful day would not have been stated. My actions were driven by my need to protect Bella and there was no regard to the pain I was inflicting on myself. Knowing now I may have a second chance to win her back, I assure you I will do everything in my power to accomplish this. There isn't a being on this earth that will stop me from reuniting with her." I said as I stared at her intently.

As she studied my face she replied, "Well fortunately for you, I plan on assisting you in winning her back!" she smiled broadly. "You've convinced me, if two people ever needed one another it's you and Bella." Alice and I returned her smile and she continued, "There's just a few minor complications" she hesitated, "perhaps I should tell you what Bella's been up to since I've met her. But before I get into that, I'm starving do you think we could take this conversation to a location that serves food?"

This was a complication we hadn't considered; she needed to eat. Alice and I looked at one another and Alice conveyed, _'Edward, I'll make an excuse about Esme.'_ "That's fine with me, I'll just need to call home and let Esme know we'll be out a bit longer. Excuse me," she said as she stepped away to make the call.

I noticed Roxanne studying me while Alice was making the call, _'he really is incredibly handsome and it appears he truly loves her…Ian's heart is going to be broken. Not to mention I'll probably lose Drake because of my participation. Ughhhh, finally find a good one and now I'm throwing it all away.'_ She rubbed her hands over her eyes.

"Is everything okay?" I asked her. The last thing I wanted was to destroy any happiness she had at the cost of ours. If necessary we would find a way to have a reunion without her assistance.

She sighed, "Yeah, I'm just thinking about the complications I mentioned. We'll figure a way around them…I'm just having a hard time focusing without food. Once I get something in my stomach I'll be better equipped to think on my feet." She watched Alice as she returned.

"Well, Esme said we could stay out for a bit longer, but we shouldn't eat. Carlisle has important colleagues coming to dinner; she wants everyone in attendance and on their best behavior!" she said. Alice and her quick thinking saved us from having to choke down a meal. "We better get you fed, so we can return in time for our family dinner," she said rolling her eyes in exaggeration.

"Look, I don't want you two to get into trouble, so why don't I just tell you what's been going on and then I'll grab something from home. We can get together tomorrow and figure something out…maybe if we compare notes after a good night's sleep we can come up with a plan." She said looking from me to Alice.

"That sounds good." I replied. "I'm anxious to hear about Bella so please…" I gestured with my hands that she should continue.

"Well, from what Bella has told me she didn't get involved with anyone after you left. You crushed her; she still hasn't moved on. Just last night she had a dream and called out for you in her sleep." She looked at me harshly. "I'm not sure how she'll react to seeing you again, that's why we need to come up with a plan that brings you two together and doesn't cause further damage. She has tried to move on, she began dating someone in our house recently…with my encouragement" she grimaced as she said this. "Sorry" she said to me.

"Don't apologize, it's what I supposedly wanted for her. My intent was for her to move on, even if it broke my heart." I said looking down at my hands.

"I don't believe you have anything to worry about, like I said she's still dreaming of you. Bella was happy for a couple of weeks and then there was a little accident. She started doubting her feelings for Ian. If I'm correct she's very close to breaking it off with him. My concern is her mental state these days, she's been dreaming about you so much. I think she's worked herself up so much she's bound to have a breakdown. We need to figure out a way to convince her this whole breakup wasn't her fault…that's what she believes you know," she said severely.

Putting my head in my hands and leaning forward again I said, "I'll never forgive myself for the pain I've caused. I swear to you I'll spend the rest of eternity making it up to her." I said looking at her sincerely.

She waved her hand at me, "I'm sure you will, that's not the issue." She started tapping her fingers on the chair trying to come up with a plan, I heard her thoughts scrambling through various scenarios…then she focused on one. Her hand went to her chin and she began absently stroking it. That's it your nearly there, I thought…

"I'm having a party for Halloween…it's pretty much an open invitation…if you two showed up," she said as her thoughts came out of her mouth.

"That's a great idea!" Alice exclaimed, bubbling with enthusiasm clapping her hands. I winked at her letting her know Roxanne was now on track with our plan.

Roxanne slapped her hands down on the arm of the chair and said, "Okay, that's it then. You're officially invited to our party. We'll figure out the rest tomorrow…you two better get home." She finished as she stood.

Standing up, I reached out my hand to her, "I can't thank you enough. I'm really glad Bella has you in her life. I look forward to becoming one of your friends."

She shook my hand and I saw the shock register in her face from the coldness of it. _'Wow, his hands are cold…this boy needs to eat better. He's awfully pale, I'll bet his circulation is shot.'_ "It's a pleasure to finally meet you, I feel like I already know you based on the conversations I've had with Bella. Of course I misjudged you based on those conversations," she laughed. "I'm sure we'll all be very close friends in the future."

Turning to Alice she said, "Okay, so say we meet her tomorrow around four. Give it some thought as to how we'll get these two love birds together."

Alice grabbed Roxanne and hugged her briefly. "Thank you so much. You're an angel you know, you've saved two people today and hopefully three if we can get Bella back with Edward."

"Stop that, I didn't do anything." She said waving her hands at us. "Now, I really have to get home…I'm starving." She said as she began walking away.

Alice and I looked at one another and then I put my arm around her shoulder, "Let's get home Mercutio…"

'_Don't call me that Edward, didn't he die!'_

"Yes Alice he did, but you're already dead," I whispered in her ear as we left the Student Center.

* * *


	32. Sweet Music

**Sweet Music**

**Nothing from the Twilight Series or Ms. Meyers works belong to me! Nor do I own any rights to music mentioned.**

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BPOV

The next morning my eyes were bloodshot and puffy from the long night spent crying. It wasn't so much that I was upset about breaking it off with Ian as I was with the words he said. He spoke from his heart and he was absolutely dead on, I was wasting my time. My head knew this but my heart just couldn't give up on something so special, intense, and perfect. I was disgusted with myself for feeling this way, but I couldn't keep up the pretense that the relationship with Ian would be a good substitute for what I had with Edward.

Roxanne wasn't in the room so I didn't get a chance to tell her what had happened last night before she left this morning. By the time I got to the room she was fast asleep and it wouldn't have been right to wake her with my problems. It was enough I would wake her with my stupid dreams.

I went into the bathroom and grabbed a cold washcloth for my eyes, since I didn't have to be to class until later I could afford the time necessary to bring the puffiness out of my eyes. Grabbing the cloth I laid back down on the bed and reflected about everything I needed to take care of, telling Roxanne about Ian, there was my iPod to find and the mystery with the pictures was still bugging me.

Grateful that the only class I had today was British Literature I prepared for the day. Heading downstairs I grabbed my poncho, again smelling his scent. I had enough of this, where was the scent coming from. Pushing aside all the coats on the rack, I was sniffing like a lunatic trying to locate where it came from. My hand fell upon a supple leather jacket and froze for a millisecond. I grabbed all the coats that were blocking my view and my eyes settled on a beige leather jacket…no it couldn't be. Standing there gaping like a fool, I couldn't believe my eyes. Moving my head closer to the rack I cautiously sniffed, it was faint but it was definitely coming from this familiar jacket. I grabbed it off the rack and shoved it into my face inhaling deeply. The sweet indescribable smell was very faint, but present.

I heard a voice coming from the top of the stairs, "Bella, what are you doing?"

Turning abruptly I looked up and saw Drake coming down. Looking at my hands and then back to him I had to think quickly what to say without sounding like an idiot. There were jackets scattered on the floor and I just had a jacket up to my nose. "Umm…I…" stuttering waiting for my brain to kick in, "I tripped and bumped into the rack."

He was staring at me with scrutiny as he reached the bottom of the stairs, "Oh." Bending over he began picking up the coats and placing them back on the rack as I stood frozen with the jacket still clutched in my small hands. I looked down at the jacket and realized my hands were shaking and my heart rate had accelerated to the point where I thought it would pop out of my chest. Reaching out to take the jacket from my hands as he looked at me with concern he said, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, fine." I said finding my voice. I pulled the jacket closer to me as if it were a precious lifeline, "Who's jacket is this?" I said trying to keep my voice even and sound casual.

"Ian's, why?" he said as he took the jacket and I felt the supple leather slide through my fingers. My heart stopped, as I watched him hanging it back on the rack. This couldn't be, how could that jacket be Ian's – I couldn't be wrong. "Ian's? I've never seen him wear it, are you sure?" my voice sounded desperate as I looked back to the jacket now hanging safely on the rack.

"Sure, it's his. He doesn't wear it often; it cost him a fortune. Are you sure you're okay?" he asked concerned. Shaking my head to clear up the confusion I must look like a freak, what was happening to me? I thought for sure once I told Ian my true feelings everything would get back to normal. This couldn't be happening.

"Bella," his voice brought me back. "Come on, let's get you a chair and maybe some coffee," he said taking my hands and leading me towards the kitchen.

Relieved as I heard Roxanne and Anne's voices, we entered the kitchen. Having additional company in the kitchen would help; I didn't want to explain my meltdown to Drake. His eyes as he watched me carefully conveyed what I thought, my meltdown wasn't going unnoticed.

"Good morning, you two" Annie said cheerfully. Her face which had moments ago conveyed her mood, quickly changed when she saw what Drake was already struggling to understand. Roxanne, looked up and said the words they were all thinking, "Bella you look like hell, what's wrong?" Turning to look at Drake she said, "What did you do to her?"

"Nothing, jeez Rox…" his face was hurt as he looked at his girlfriend. I couldn't let him take the blame for me losing my mind.

"Drake didn't do anything Rox. I'm fine, it was just a long night and I tripped going down the stairs." I said sitting down before my knees gave way and I collapsed. My peripheral vision caught the three of them casting glances at each other and then back to me.

Roxanne came to my side, "Sweetie you really don't look good. Maybe you shouldn't have gone back to classes yet. You may be rushing it." She said as she glanced up at Drake. Anne had retrieved a cup of coffee and set it down before coming around the table and sitting across from me.

Drake cleared his throat as he looked at the three of us. "Um, I'm going to head to class. If you need anything give me a call." He said as he kissed Roxanne on the head. He took one last glance at me and placed his hand on my shoulder, "Bella, stay home today. If you need anything we'll get it for you."

When the kitchen door swung closed, I put my head on the table sighing. What was I going to tell these two…sorry I'm having a meltdown. I keep getting the scent of my old boyfriend and it's driving me crazy. Fortunately, I didn't have to come up with anything as Anne touched my head, "Hey, drink your coffee before it gets cold."

Picking my head up I looked at the two of them and they looked slightly panicked. I took the coffee and closed my eyes as I slowly sipped it, feeling their concerned eyes scouring my face. "I'm okay, it was just a long night. I broke it off with Ian." I said as I looked at the two of them. The looks on their faces confirmed what I suspected, they already knew.

Roxanne's lips tightened into a grimace, as Anne reached out again taking my hand. "Look Bella, I'm not sure I grasp it all. Ian confided in Sam last night and the only thing I was told was it was over. If you don't want to talk about it I understand, but you should know just because you aren't with him anymore doesn't mean any of us will treat you differently." She said glancing over at Roxanne silently pleading with her to say something. Roxanne remained silent while playing with a stray string on her blouse.

The frustration briefly showed in Anne's face before looking back at me. "You've been through a lot in a short period of time and I'm sure the painkillers aren't helping. I'm not sure if you're even considering what Rox and Drake said, but I think you should stay home today."

Roxanne spoke up "Bella, you only have one class today, I'll stop by the professor's office and find out what the class will be discussing so you don't fall behind. Get some rest." Standing up she continued, "Sorry, but I really got to dash or I'm going to be late for my classes."

As she was walking out Anne was looking at her perplexed, it was rather odd that Roxanne was so uncommunicative. Great I thought, now I've made her mad – that's the only thing it could be. She was always so supportive of Ian's relationship and now I've probably alienated her. I fought back the tears as they threatened to fall and put my head back on the table.

Anne patted me on the head and said, "Bella, I don't have to be anywhere for a couple of hours, why don't we go into the common room and get comfortable. We can talk; come on," she said as she came around the side of the table and pulled on my arm. As we were walking out of the kitchen she added, "Oh by the way I found this recipe card in the common room by the chair you always sit in, I thought it might be yours so I put it up here where it wouldn't get lost." She was pointing to the recipe card I noticed yesterday.

"That's not mine." I claimed looking at her blankly.

Shrugging her shoulders she said, "Oh, humph. Nobody else claimed it, I just assumed. Whatever…who ever wanted it will find it there. Come on, I'll get you a blanket," she said as she walked out the door. I couldn't help but stare at the recipe before following her.

We settled on the sectional and she waited for me to start talking patiently. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence she said, "I'm worried about you Bella. You don't look good, you broke it off with Ian, you're crying an awful lot…are you home sick?"

Staring at my cast, I nodded my head. "No, it's not that…well maybe some, but not the way you think. I miss my life from a year ago, but it had nothing to do with Forks as much as a person who used to live there."

"Ahh, I see. So that's the reason it didn't work out with Ian," she said as she folded her arms on her chest. "Well, that makes sense Bella. A lot of people go through that when they move away from home, what you're experiencing isn't so unusual." If she only knew, my circumstances were anything but ordinary.

"Look, Ian is a really nice guy and he liked you…_a lot!_" she said emphasizing the words. "It will work out, he'll come around. If you don't mind my asking, did you tell him you were missing another guy?" she asked looking at me closely.

"Yes" I said quietly. "I never meant to hurt him, honestly that was the last thing I wanted. Initially when he started showing interest I tried to let him know that it wasn't reciprocal. Then Roxanne convinced me I was wasting my time thinking about my old boyfriend. I decided to take a chance at love again," I said shaking my head. "I should have known better, I wasn't ready. But Anne, it's not just that…Ian is a really nice guy, I just never felt the same way with him as I did with Edward." I stated firmly.

"Ian will get over this, I promise. He's too nice of a guy to hold it against you. He'll realize if it were meant to be, it would have happened. You just bruised his ego when you told him you aren't over your old boyfriend." She said patting my legs. "I'll talk to him, don't worry."

"No, please don't; just give him the time he needs." I said sighing. "I'm just a little confused now. It's so hard to be in love with someone that doesn't even think about you. Yet I can't seem to get Edward out of my system, I don't want to. Ian deserves better than I could ever give him, he thinks I'm crazy." I finished as I tapped my fingers on my cast with my eyes downcast.

"Stop letting Ian make you feel guilty, you can't help the way you feel. If you want me to talk to him I will, just say the word. Now, are you settled in?" she asked as she stood tucking the blanket in tighter. "I've got to get ready to go. I'll check on you before I leave, just rest for now." She said patting my head as she left the room.

I put my head down and stared off into space. What was I doing, this meltdown was probably worse then when he left me. Last time I was a zombie and then began hearing voices. Now I actually smell him and everything around me reminds me of him. It was if my mind forced my senses to go haywire whenever missing him. The voices stopped after a while maybe this would stop soon, I could only hope. My new friends would have me locked up soon, if my imagination didn't stop playing with my head. My eyes were burning, so I closed them and decided to let sleep take me away for a while.

When Anne came in to check on me before leaving for class, I gave up trying to get some sleep. Walking upstairs I decided to shower and get some class work done. My weekend put me behind and my recent distractions weren't helping. Even though my emotions were a wreck, I couldn't let my scholarship suffer because of it. Edward would be upset if I let my distractions blow my college opportunity – funny how even now I managed to get motivated by what would please him. Grabbing my laptop and books I headed to the study room, it was time to start focusing on why I was here.

Several hours had passed as I caught up with all my studies; now the only class work I would have to worry about was whatever Roxanne collected this afternoon. Closing my laptop, I decided to go out on the deck and enjoy the afternoon sun. Grabbing the blanket, I started heading for the door when my eye caught something on the table by the fireplace – my iPod.

What was my iPod doing down here, I would never leave it sitting out in the common room. Walking back slowly, I picked it up and held it in my hand in confusion. I turned it on and scrolled through the songs, it was mine…why couldn't I remember leaving it down here. Scrolling back to the menu, I clicked on music, playlists and noticed a new playlist. This wasn't one I created. As I looked at the songs I recognized some of them, but some were unfamiliar. Someone had loaded additional songs on my iPod but why?

I ran back upstairs to get my ear buds; this was a mystery I had to figure out. There was no way I could find out how the songs got loaded, but this was the perfect time to listen to the songs. I quickly grabbed the buds and connected the iPod while I walked back downstairs. Choosing the new playlist, the first song I heard was a beautiful song by Alison Krauss called Looking in The Eyes of Love. Listening to the words, my heart started melting…the voice and lyrics were so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. Putting my head back on the chaise lounge I continued listening to the most unbelievable playlist, it was the perfect music for my frame of mind.

Late afternoon started settling in as I listened to the songs, soon I felt someone standing next to me. I looked up to see Ian standing beside me; his eyes were set in a hard look. Pulling the ear buds out I shyly said, "hi".

He continued staring at me before responding, "I'd like to speak with you for a moment." As I watched him move towards a chair to sit I couldn't help but think this wasn't going to be pleasant – but I deserved it. Gulping air I waited for him to continue.

"I'm sorry. My reaction last night was unacceptable." He stated. I opened my mouth to interrupt but he raised his finger to stop me. "Let me continue, I need to get this out before I lose my courage." I nodded and lowered my head.

"If you had told me you didn't want to be with me because you didn't feel the same, I would have understood. I wouldn't have agreed because I still feel we are right for one another, but it wouldn't have been so hard. Most likely my actions would have been more subtle to gain your affections. I would have given you the space you needed to see what I already know. The fact that you are…waiting for someone who left a year ago is the part I find unfathomable. That is what caused me to react the way I did." He looked at me longingly and his sincerity was causing a pain in my chest. How could I explain to him that he would never succeed, as much as he had to offer, it could never compete with Edward.

Standing and moving closer to my chair, he knelt beside me and took my hand in his, "Bella, listen to me – really listen to what I have to say." His hand reached up and he lifted my chin, his eyes were racing around my face waiting for me to acknowledge his request. Shifting his position, he sat on the chair with me and said, "I'll back off…for now. This weekend I'm going away, Drake and I leave tomorrow morning." I opened my mouth to protest and again he smiled and said chuckling, "let me finish. You have a habit of interrupting and it distracts me from saying what needs to be said."

"My plans for this weekend were in place before you even had your accident. I need to go home it's my mother's birthday and I was planning on surprising her. Before leaving though I wanted to speak with you so you didn't think it was your fault I left." He looked down briefly and sighed.

"I know what you told me last night and I'm prepared to give you the freedom you need without pressure from me, but..." he looked up and smiled at me. "I have one small request." He paused and took a breath, "you can refuse but if I don't ask it will eat away at me so I'm hoping you won't."

He leaned in and was inches away from my face staring into my eyes, "Allow me one last kiss, if afterwards you can look at me and say there isn't anything…not even the slightest twinge of feeling, I'll step aside and be one of your closest friends. But you must be honest with your heart Bella, you must think about it while I'm gone this weekend and answer only after you have given it the thought it deserves." His face hovered so close to mine I had stopped breathing.

I had already made my decision, Edward was the only man for me…but his request, and his emotions were so strong the breeze stirred with them. How could I refuse such a simple request, it was one kiss – although his kisses were pleasant they never held the same electricity or passion I felt when Edward kissed me. My feelings would not change, but if I didn't give him or myself the chance to answer his request then there would always be doubt. I nodded my consent.

Gently he lifted my chin and pulled my face towards his, slowly he kissed me. His lips were soft and passionate, moving slowly against mine as his tongue lightly caressed my bottom lip. Closing my eyes and allowing the moment to happen, my lips parted as my tongue found his and our kiss became more urgent. His hands came up to cradle my face as he continued to kiss me, my breath was coming in short bursts and I felt my arm wrap around his neck.

Pulling me closer to his body I leaned into his side as my breasts were pressed against his chest. His lips and tongue were so warm and gentle as they probed my own with short bursts that alternated between my lips and tongue. My body was pressing into him as I felt my heart beating faster caught up in the moment. With much more urgency his arms wrapped around me pulling me closer so that I could barely move. I wanted more; more of this longing…my body was responding to his touch as his hand slowly moved down my back and gripped my hip.

My mind was reeling as his tongue left my mouth and he continued kissing my lips with gentle kisses that led slowly to my chin. My head and back arching as he trailed the kisses to my neck. I felt his right hand caressing my forearm moving towards my shoulder, gripping me…my breath was coming in gasps as my body responded to his kisses and touch. His mouth was on mine again and I found myself wanting more, the passion with which my tongue responded to his surprised me. I could hear his breathing; it matched mine.

Our kiss was slowing down as he pulled back once again; he trailed his kisses back to my neck as his hand moved to my blouse. Gently pulling back my shirt to expose my collarbone and shoulder he trailed kisses and his tongue lightly licked the spot he just kissed. He paused for one moment as he gazed into my eyes; his fingers shifted from the collar of my blouse and traced my collarbone making his way toward the front of my shirt. I felt a slight tug as he began gently unbuttoning my blouse. The first button exposed more of my chest and he was easily able to shift my shirt so my shoulder was completely exposed. Leaning in he began kissing me as my body pressed towards him. I was so lost in the moment wanting more than anything for him to remove my shirt, when I heard a loud crash from inside the house.

Jumping from the sound of it, we stopped. That was when I realized this had gone too far, pulling myself back from his body I sighed. He looked into my eyes smiling and said, "I'm sorry…I got carried away. Let's go see what happened."

Lifting me off his lap he placed me on my feet as I buttoned my blouse. When he stood, he placed his hands on each side of my face and kissed me one last time. Moving his hands back to my shoulders he looked deeply into my eyes and said, "Promise me you'll think about what just happened this weekend. I'll wait Bella."

He walked towards the door as I stood staring at his back. My head was spinning, knowing I loved Edward with all of my heart, yet struggling to find my way without him in my life. There were no easy answers – if only Edward still loved me, my answer to Ian would be simple.

* * *


	33. The Best Laid Plans

**The Best Laid Plans**

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EPOV

I sat in my room reflecting on everything that still needed to be resolved before Roxanne's party. It was important not one aspect was left unattended. Now that Roxanne was on board with assisting us, we could let Bella have some privacy. She was safe and the only time she really needed watching was if her new friends weren't with her. Although I enjoyed watching her as often as possible, our monitoring didn't need to be 24 hours a day. After all with Alice's sight and Bella's friends she was well protected, so I didn't need to worry.

After spending hours carefully selecting the music I loaded on her iPod, it was ready to be returned. There were a total of 42 songs loaded ready for her when she _found_ her iPod again. It was tempting to add some new music that was composed and played by my own hands, but that would have given me away. The songs I selected were chosen for the lyrics and were some of my favorite compositions. I knew if Bella concentrated on the words her heart would betray me, she would know who it was that took her iPod. I smiled knowing once we were reunited I would witness her listening to the playlist created just for her.

When Emmett returned last night he was very wound up and told Alice and I how Bella had ended her relationship with the boy. As much as this pleased me, I was concerned for Bella. He said when Bella returned home she spent a large part of the evening crying on the back deck of the house. From the description and thoughts Emmett provided it wasn't a very pleasant evening for her. Unfortunately he wasn't able to provide too many details due to his inability to hear thoughts. It was best I was at the Student Center with Roxanne; I don't know how I would have managed staying on the sideline watching that unfold. As my anxiety started to rise, Alice confirmed that Bella was fine she was in bed sleeping.

My sister spent the evening thinking about costumes to wear to the party of course. She was looking forward to the idea of dressing up as much as she was to the thought of Bella and I being reunited. Her intent was to see if Jasper would join the party as well, she was evaluating various costumes meanwhile Jasper was thinking of how to avoid a room full of humans without disappointing Alice. I would have to step in on his behalf this afternoon when Alice and I went to meet Roxanne.

As I was reflecting on everything that needed to be achieved, I heard Esme requesting entry into my room. "Come in Esme." I said quietly. Her demeanor was pleased and she joined me on the couch.

Taking my hand in hers she thought, _'Edward, I'm so pleased you are reuniting with Bella. However, I'm a bit concerned with your methods. I understand times have changed but perhaps you should consider revealing yourself in an area a bit more private than a party with so many humans?'_ she looked at me expectantly. My breath caught for a moment, why would Esme be concerned? I trusted her judgment – maybe she was right on this.

"Esme, do you think she'll be upset? I've thought about this so much maybe I've over thought it. My initial concern was that she would reject me; that perhaps I was too late to return and ask for her love. Now I know she still loves me, but when it comes to Bella I'm never very sure of my actions. She throws my world off balance and causes me to question my actions. What do you suggest?" I asked anxiously.

"In my day, a man and woman's relationship was not something that would be aired so publicly. There are no simple answers Edward, I'm just concerned that you and Bella have so much to discuss and work through. The venue for your reconciliation is scheduled in such a public location with people who don't know you. They barely know Bella for that matter and certainly were not witnesses to how strong your bond was." She said quietly while she gazed at my face. _'You may want to reconsider, it's just a suggestion but knowing how easily Bella gets embarrassed…'_ she suggested as she let her thought trail off. She patted my hand and left me to think about her suggestion.

I lay back on the couch to give her suggestion serious consideration. Over the past few weeks I had become so engrossed in developing the perfect plan to reveal my whereabouts to Bella that I neglected to consider the most important fact…Bella was never one for open displays that put her in the center of attention. Although the party wouldn't come to a halt with Alice's appearance and mine, there would be several people who would be attentive to what our emergence would mean to Bella.

Alice burst into my room clearly agitated, _'Edward you can't be serious! What are you thinking changing your mind at this point? We've already let Roxanne know we're in town…she's bound to let Bella know.'_ She eyed me dubiously.

"Calm down Alice, I haven't changed my mind about returning to Bella's side. Esme made a suggestion that perhaps we should consider. Perhaps we are approaching this without considering Bella's feelings." I replied while still considering what our options were.

She came up to the couch looking down at me, _'Well, if the party isn't the right place, what do you propose?' _She lifted my legs and sat down gracefully on the couch and placed my legs across her lap. _'It needs to be memorable Edward, this moment needs to define exactly how you feel about her.'_

Swinging my legs to the floor, I began pacing and said, "I'm well aware of that Alice. We do have to remember that we're talking about Bella. She's not exactly exuberant about surprises."

'_Well, there's something else you should know, Bella won't be going to school today. She found your little hint on the coat rack and it really flustered her. She's staying home so we need to send someone to stay with her.'_ She informed me while watching me pace.

I replied absently while picking up Bella's iPod, "Fine, I'll go."

"No, you can't! You need to be with me to meet Roxanne." She exclaimed. Puzzled at her reaction, I stopped in mid-stride and tried to read her thoughts but she was blocking me by going through all the costume options again. "Besides, I've already asked Jasper to go. He'll make sure she's safe. Come on we should give this to Jasper," she said rising and taking the iPod from my hand. "We need to get to the Student Center before we're really late." She said walking to the door.

I stared after her; something was up. Alice didn't block my thoughts unless she was intentionally trying to hide something. Following her as she headed to her room, I questioned her, "Alice is there anything you want to tell me about Bella's day today?"

Nodding her head a little too enthusiastically, "No I told you, Jasper will be with her. I'm just a little disappointed that we won't be going to the party. You know how much I enjoy Halloween and parties. I'll be right out I just need to give this to Jasper" she said holding up the iPod, "get the car." she commanded closing her bedroom door.

Raising my eyebrows at her letting her know that she didn't fool me, "Fine, but if I find out anything has occurred and you didn't let me know in advance, you _will_ explain yourself." I said as I went to get my car.

As we drove Alice remained quiet, she continued to focus on the costumes and ran through various scenarios for Bella's reunion and mine. As different ideas played out in her head, I rejected them if her thoughts remained on them too long. Most of the ideas were just brief flashes remaining unformulated as she rejected them herself.

Arriving on campus, we began our walk to the Student Center when I broached the subject of letting Jasper remain home if we still went to Roxanne's party. "Alice, I know you are considering having Jasper come to the party, but it's really best he not attend. He's still not entirely comfortable around humans and it could end badly if…"

Sharply she stated, "Edward don't you think I would have seen if anything were to happen." Her tone became less sharp when she finished, "Don't worry about it, I know how just the thought of attending is making him tense – besides you've already decided the party isn't the place to do this and you're right. Wherever it is, it should be soon…" she let her statement trail off. _'Bella can't take much more of our hints.' _

When we entered the Student Center, Roxanne was sitting in the same chairs we had been situated in last night, waving enthusiastically. We joined her and as soon as we were seated she began with a rant…"Okay this plan better work out. Bella's a wreck and I couldn't even console her today for fear I would let it slip that you're in town. So lets put our heads together and come up with something."

"Wait, what do you mean Bella's a wreck?" I said a little too forcefully as I glared at Alice quickly. I was beginning to get anxious, between Alice's vague errant thoughts and Roxanne's – something was definitely wrong.

Sighing she said, "She broke up with Ian, I know that will make you happy but it tore her apart. This morning she was a mess, her eyes were puffy and she looked like she was in a state of shock. We got her to stay home today, but she's falling to pieces. It was all I could do to keep from blurting out our little secret." She looked at me and I could see the concern in her face. _'This better be what's best for her, lord knows she can't take much more.'_ Her thoughts gave me the perfect opportunity to initiate the conversation informing her of the change in plans.

My instincts were starting to go on alert, I needed to get to Bella to reassure myself that she was okay. My hands were twitching too fast; I balled them into fists to control myself. "Roxanne, Alice and I were discussing your idea of the party. Perhaps this isn't the best choice for a reunion, especially if she's in an emotional state right now." As I spoke to her she was staring at her lap playing with a book. Glancing over quickly I saw the title, "The Odyssey" the Greek tragedy written by Homer. Snorting to myself I thought of the irony.

"Edward is concerned with Bella's reaction with so many people around. She's been known to get upset about surprises and this would certainly fall into that category." Alice explained.

"Yeah, I know all about Bella and surprises. She was unbearable on her birthday. Maybe you're right, so what did you have in mind?" She looked at Alice and I expectantly.

"We hadn't gotten that far, we were hoping to discuss it with you. Perhaps you can enlighten us on her activities and we can figure out something a little more private and maybe a bit sooner than next weekend." I said as I sat back in the chair trying to decipher her thoughts. She was very anxious today consumed with thoughts of Bella and Drake. Apparently Drake and Ian were going home this weekend. This might be an opportunity we couldn't overlook.

Taking a deep breath she closed her eyes and tried to calm herself. I was concerned by her frame of mind, we only entered her life yesterday and already she was feeling the strain. We needed to let her off the hook; she didn't need to be concerned with our plans. It was enough she knew we were here and accepted that Bella and I belonged together.

Reaching over and taking the book from her lap, I began my dialogue to release her from this plot. "Roxanne, although I appreciate your assistance with this, it's my problem. You don't have to feel obligated to assist in any way. I can see what it's doing to you and believe me when I tell you the last thing I want on my conscience is to put any one else in pain. Thank you for supporting me, but we can work this out without you." I looked at her to evaluate whether my words had any effect on her emotional frame of mind.

She stared at my face and smiled briefly, "I'm in too far now. Sitting on the sidelines waiting for it to happen won't make me feel any better. Thanks though." _'Good Lord, he's so considerate…they don't make guys like this today. How on earth did she find such a treasure,'_ she thought.

Alice's cell phone rang at that moment and she excused herself to take the call. I tried to listen in as I heard her say Jasper's name when she answered. Unfortunately, Roxanne was asking a question and my attention was diverted.

"So Romeo" she said chuckling. "This weekend might be a better time for you to come around, Ian and my boyfriend are heading out of town. Do you think you can come up with something by then?"

"I'm hoping to, I'm just not sure if I have a solution yet." I responded absently as I flipped through the textbook in my hand. Alice had gone outside to speak with Jasper and I was anxious again as I could only pick up bits and pieces of their conversation. She was telling him to stop whatever he was witnessing. There was no sense of danger in her thoughts or tenor of voice, but something was definitely transpiring.

In order to keep Roxanne from further questions that would require a response, I began reading sections of the book. I needed to know what was going on with Bella, Alice was telling Jasper to handle it and quickly came back in the Student Center. Glancing up at her, I shot her a look confirming that she would explain.

She sat down with every bit of grace as usual and smiled angelically, "Sorry, that was Jasper. He gets a little impatient when I'm away from him sometimes." She giggled as if that would ease my tension. _'Edward it's fine, don't give me that look. Jasper is with Bella and she's in no danger.' _"So have we gotten any further on what we're going to do?" she asked while glancing at Roxanne and I innocently.

"No, this is just so frustrating. I think it should be this weekend though, the sooner the better actually." Roxanne responded while tapping her fingers on the arm of her chair.

I was still flipping through the book, trying to get additional information from Alice, but she wasn't allowing me access. My temper was beginning to rise; I put the book on my chair as I stood, moving a little too quickly. This discussion was over; I needed to get to Bella to see for myself that she was fine. "Since we aren't accomplishing anything here, I suggest we reconvene another time. I have something I have to take care of immediately." I said purposely glaring at Alice.

As sweetly as she could while clenching her teeth Alice said, "Edward sit down, I told you before Jasper is taking care of your errand. This is too important – it's your future, not ours. So please sit down." _'Edward, I'm warning you – do not go to Bella right now. It will not bode well for you.'_

Judging by Alice's expression and her thoughts perhaps she was correct, I grudgingly sat back down. Sitting on the edge of the seat I pulled the book out from behind me and held it between my legs as I stared at her.

Roxanne reached over and took the book from my hands, "I can't forget this, it's Bella's new assignment for her British Lit class." Placing the book back on her lap she sat back and realigned her face in concentration.

Alice reached over and took the book from Roxanne, "Interesting subject for British Lit, its Greek mythology. Why would they be studying this?" she asked absently.

Roxanne just shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not sure, but her professor is a bit odd. The story itself is great though…Penelope, Odysseus now there's a romance…" A smile started forming on her face as her thought drifted off.

Flipping through the book, Alice's eyes glazed over as I recognized she was having a vision. Tapping into her thoughts quickly to ensure that it wasn't related to Bella, I saw her mind focused on a costume shop.

She opened her eyes just as Roxanne slapped her hands on the chair. "I have it, this is perfect." She said excitedly.

Trying to catch up with both the vision and Roxanne's thoughts I quickly gathered where this was heading. Smiling myself I thought, it may work; we could accomplish this before the party. "Bella's costume for the party will be changing…she's going to be Penelope." Looking over at me she continued, "and you will be Odysseus. Our accidental encounter will take place at the costume shop!" I smiled in return; it couldn't be a more fitting costume change and meeting place for our plans.

"Roxanne, what a great idea. Now, how are you going to explain this to Bella? She has to be convinced this is the perfect costume for the party, otherwise she'll never agree." Alice exclaimed excitedly. "We need to find a shop, but how will you get her there?"

Standing up, she began pacing, "Convincing her won't be as much of a problem as finding another costume shop. I took her to the only shop I know of, I'm not sure they'll have what we need." She claimed nervously while pausing in her pacing to rub her face in anxiety.

"That shouldn't be a problem, let's call and see before we get too committed to this latest plan." I stated winking at Alice. Knowing Alice would take care of the details for the costumes, I dialed the phone quickly asking information for the phone number. Redialing the number for the shop, I hung up before someone picked up. "Hello, yes I'm interested in renting costumes for the era of Greek Mythology, would you happen to have anything resembling this in your shop? Yes, certainly I'll hold." I asked the dial tone.

Alice excused herself to call Emmett, they were going to need to acquire the items and get them to the shop quickly.

Roxanne was watching me apprehensively. If she only knew whom she was dealing with, she wouldn't be so anxious. This was more than easily handled; getting the right costumes to the shop was simple in comparison to getting Bella to cooperate. "Yes, great thank you. If you could please place them on hold we'll be in later this week." Hanging up the phone I smiled, "it's all taken care of, they have what we need."

"But you didn't give them our name to hold them, what if someone else tries to rent them?" Roxanne exclaimed. "We may not be able to get Bella there before they rent them out!"

I feigned a look of fright and then relaxed my face; "No problem, Alice and I will head over today and put a deposit on the costumes. We'll handle the costume shop, you should focus on how to get Bella there." I said smiling. The likelihood of someone renting costumes that the store didn't have was slim. Alice and I would handle getting the costumes to the shop.

"Well, did they have the costumes?" Alice asked smiling. _'Emmett's on board, he's going to have Rosalie assist. They're on line now finding a shop that will sell what we need. We should get home…they're going to need our help.'_ she projected her thoughts to me.

Nodding my head acknowledging her question and her thoughts, "We're set, we need to stop by the shop on the way home to leave a deposit. We should leave now; I don't want to chance anyone else renting them. The clerk put them on hold, but I don't want to leave anything to risk." I said standing.

"Wait," Roxanne said, "you need to give me your cell numbers so I can call you. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get Bella to the shop, I'll need to call you when she's ready." She said as she pulled out her cell phone to store our numbers. "How long will it take you to get to the shop from your home?" she asked as she began storing the number Alice provided her.

"Oh don't worry about that, we're never more than 10 minutes away." Alice said excitedly. "It may even take Edward less time than that, knowing that seeing Bella is the result."

She looked up at Alice and I concerned, "Well don't get into an accident. That's all we need, you to get killed on your way to see her," she said shaking her head at the thought. _'Great the guy's going to take risks now…that's all I need!'_

"Rest assured, that should be the last of your worries," I said smiling, Roxanne had a bad habit of worrying unnecessarily – but then again she was completely unaware of the fact that dying in an accident would be impossible for us. "Just get Bella to the shop, we'll be there waiting."

"Come on Edward, we need to hurry. I don't want the store to close before we get there." Alice said as she grabbed my arm pulling me towards the exit. "Bye Rox." She called over her shoulder.

"I'll be in touch soon." She called after us.

As soon as we were out the door, I grabbed Alice's arm, "Now, you will explain what's going on with Bella right now!" I demanded.

"You won't like it…besides Jasper handled it." She said smiling at me broadly. "I'm so proud of him actually. Come on, I'll tell you – but not here. I want you safely in the car, if you're driving you won't be tempted to destroy public property."

I stopped walking, "Alice, stop right now…if you think I'm going any further without an explanation you are sadly mistaken. In fact, here," I said tossing her the keys, "I'm going find out for myself." Storming off towards Bella's house I heard her thoughts, _'Edward I'm warning you…don't let your temper ruin your chance with Bella. Oh boy, it's a good thing Jasper's there…he'll calm him down.'_

As her thoughts came to me, I took to the shadows in order to run at vampire speed to my angel's side. I didn't like what I was hearing, Bella needed me and I would find out what Alice was hiding from me. Damn Alice for distracting me! Bella was the only thing that mattered. I ran faster as my anxiety grew with each step towards my angel.

* * *


	34. Carpe Diem

**Carpe Diem**

**I do not own any rights to the infamous Twilight series.**

* * *

EPOV

Approaching Bella's home, my anxiety grew. Although I wanted to confirm she was safe, I was hesitant to go rushing in not knowing what was occurring. It could be anything, and if Bella was bleeding I had to have full control of my faculties. No – what was I thinking, if Bella were bleeding Jasper wouldn't…wait; Alice did say she was proud of Jasper. Oh Bella, what has happened now? What could Alice have meant when she said it wouldn't bode well for me? I pushed myself further; finally I was at her house.

Nothing was out of the ordinary; in fact it was a very peaceful afternoon on her street. Stopping to listen to the sounds within the house and for Jasper's thoughts, I heard Jasper first. _'That was intense; Bella's emotions have been a roller coaster ride since I arrived here this morning. They really should have sent Emmett.' _Walking around to the front of the house, I quickly located him walking towards his car.

"Jasper" I called to him in normal volume knowing he would hear me. Turning around at the sound of my voice, he backed up a step or two in shock. _'Edward, calm down. I've had enough with emotions being out of control for one day. Bella is fine, I promise.'_ I stepped up to him and that's when I noticed his face. He was drained; he needed to hunt.

"What happened?" I demanded. As much as I wanted to control my emotions for his sake, the look on his face concerned me.

'_Edward, you really need to calm down. If not for your sake, do it for mine…please.'_ He sighed as he walked towards his car. _'I need a break, calm down and I'll fill you in. You cannot get into my car though unless you get control of yourself.'_ He glared at me from over his car.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to reign in my emotions. It couldn't be that bad, he wouldn't have been as calm as he was. All right she was fine. Now I just needed the details, which I wouldn't get unless I calmed down. Alice would pay for keeping whatever transpired from me. I walked slowly to his car as I took deep breaths. "Better?" I asked him sarcastically.

Rolling his eyes he responded, _'It'll have to do. You and I both know you aren't going anywhere unless I tell you what happened so climb in.'_ he said as he climbed in himself.

Once inside the confines of his car he began by warning me that if I destroyed his car in any way, he would avenge my actions by attacking my Volvo. Nodding my head impatiently in consent, I urged him to just get on with it.

'_Well, she was a basket case this morning as Alice warned us. I recommend you get into the house soon and retrieve your jacket, which was the cause of her frame of mind this morning. She's bound to ask her boyfriend about that, and probably very soon.'_ He turned to look at me with a look of smug warning.

"What do you mean boyfriend?" I asked confused with a tinge of anger building.

'_I was going to get to that, give me a chance. This isn't easy after the day I had,'_ he said sighing deeply and putting his head back on the headrest. Closing his eyes he continued, _'she was getting herself together pretty well and even managed to find the iPod. By the way, she really enjoyed the playlist you created it did wonders to calm her down. However, I highly recommend that you stop leaving hints…it's one thing to provide subtle reminders. It's a whole different situation to gaslight the poor girl, she can't take much more Edward.' _He reprimanded as he opened his eyes and glanced at me from the side.

Hanging my head in disgrace I accepted his advice, "You're right, perhaps it was a little too much. I didn't think it would cause a problem. The idea was to remind her of our relationship, after all a year has passed; my intentions were to be reminiscent of the good times as opposed to the way I left her. From everything I heard and witnessed she was so distraught caught up in my leaving…" I said quietly.

'_The key words being __**you didn't think**'_ he closed his eyes again and sighed. _'Look Edward, I know Bella's the first girl you've been interested in, but you need to learn from previous mistakes you've made with her. Start conducting yourself like the man you are, stop pulling stunts like Emmett would.' _

Glaring out the windshield I knew he was right, I wasn't handling this well at all. This whole charade was spiraling out of control, what was I thinking. I really needed to seriously evaluate my actions and listen to my heart…growling at that thought…my heart, my soul. I didn't have either without Bella; only Bella being in my arms could help me to hear what was best for us. The reason I was acting irrationally was because she wasn't in my life, I had no heart or soul without her…monster or not!

'_Edward, please…'_ Jasper's thoughts came to me tiredly. _'I'm serious when I tell you I'm wiped out. This afternoon was hell.'_

"Sorry." I sighed, "Tell me what happened, I'll keep my emotions to a low roar."

'_She was content when she was listening to the playlist; it actually felt like she was happy. Then her boyfriend came home, her emotions ratcheted up to slight anxiety. His emotions were much more intense though, he was angry, sad, determined – the lightening speed with which he experienced them made me dizzy. He decided he had to show Bella what she would be missing if she remained faithful to you.'_ He looked over at me as he felt my anger beginning to rise. The warning glance he cautioned me with was more than enough to get me to breath and relax some.

'_I'm going to shorten this recap, I know that being in this car with you when you find out will just make my day that much worse. Basically he challenged Bella…he asked her for one final kiss. He's going away for the weekend and wanted to leave her with something to think about while he's away. If upon his return she can state unequivocally that she still doesn't feel anything for him, he'll step aside graciously.'_ He looked at me now with his eyebrows raised, waiting for my reaction.

Puzzling over this, I wasn't sure that his abbreviated version was helping me to understand. That's when he decided to visually playback what he saw…my fists clenched, my stomach tightened and a growl started escaping me like a roar as this afternoon's scene played out in Jasper's thoughts. Who did this boy think he was…how dare he…the thought of his fingers touching my Bella. My hands wrapped around the seat as I tried to gain control.

"Easy Edward, remember what I said about my car." Jasper warned.

Turning on him I shouted, "Why on earth did you let it get that far. You control emotions…why wouldn't you control theirs – if not his, Bella's at least."

"The same reason I don't control yours Edward. Certain situations deserve control, but this had to play out. Wouldn't you prefer knowing Bella comes to you with free will and not because I manipulated her emotions one afternoon?" he asked me sincerely.

Any influence Jasper could have done to get me under control at that moment wouldn't have achieved what his words just did. The cold hard truth was like a bucket of icy water. I looked down at my lap in humiliation…what was happening to me. Closing my eyes and putting my head back on the headrest, I apologized.

We sat in silence for a moment before he interrupted my thoughts again. _'This isn't over Edward. She still loves you; the thing you have to remember is the strength of yours and Bella's bond. He doesn't stand a chance the poor guy… he did give it a good shot today though.'_ He chuckled.

Growling I looked at him, "That's not funny Jasper. How did you stop him?" I asked brusquely.

"I was desperate, I called Alice. She was frantic and told me to handle it. So I did the only thing I could think of…I overturned their entertainment center in the common room." He shrugged.

Laughing I asked, "Are you serious?"

Rolling his eyes he said, "Yes, it was the only thing I could think of…other than jumping out of the bushes and yelling surprise! When I went to call Alice I was panicked so instead of going back around the side of the house, I went in through the house. That's when I got the idea. It worked; of course they're both wondering how it happened. But at least it stopped the whole scene from getting any further out of control."

He put his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes. He really did look drained; this wasn't fair to him. He was only trying to help and he was going through hell in the process. I needed time to think…about everything. My actions were reprehensible everyone was paying the price for my stupidity for too long now.

"Jasper, what should I do?" I whispered in shame. Running my fingers through my hair in frustration, I didn't have a clue what to do now. I couldn't loose her again, I wanted this to end…I needed her in my arms.

'_Look into your heart. Acknowledge first that you have one and do what it tells you to do. Stop planning everything and act. Love isn't something that can be planned according to your wishes Edward. Go to her and tell her how much you love her and beg for her forgiveness. She doesn't need a special moment Edward, she needs you.'_ He looked at me sincerely expressing with his eyes what I should have known all along; Bella only needed me to be happy.

"Thank you. You're right, but first take me home; I need to think she can't see me like this. Do me a favor though keep Alice away from me! If she comes near me I'm afraid I'll get wrapped up in all the scheming again. I just need some time to collect my thoughts; I want to express the right sentiments when I see Bella for the first time.

'_Sure, no problem,'_ he said as he turned the key in the ignition smiling for the first time since I saw him.

We drove home in silence, me lost in my thoughts and him relaxing and enjoying the calm feelings in the car. After this afternoon, neither of us wanted anyone else's thoughts or emotions twisting us into further turmoil. As soon as he pulled in front of the garage, I was out of the car and running before the door of the car connected with the jamb.

This needed to end; it had gone on too long. The year apart from Bella was torture enough, this was just prolonging the misery and everyone was paying the price. But what would I say to her? How would she react to my suddenly appearing in her life? What if she didn't want anything to do with me? Stop it…this wasn't good, I was jumping to conclusions again and this is precisely how it all went so wrong. I knew today what I didn't know several weeks ago, Bella loved me. There was no questioning that she was loyal and true, so how would I make her understand that I was back for good…that my existence wasn't worth anything without her. Sitting down on a rock, I thought back on every mistake I made since discovering that she and I were in the same state. I would have been with her by now if only I hadn't acted so irrationally.

Bella was the most forgiving person I had ever encountered; she never held a grudge. Even with people who didn't have her best intentions in mind. She always placed blame on herself and once again, she would find a way to blame herself for my behavior recently. There had to be a way to put all of this back into perspective – to make her see my intentions were heartfelt.

'_Edward, please excuse my interruption.'_ I heard Carlisle before he came into view. He stopped short waiting for my acceptance; I nodded.

'_Jasper came and explained what happened. It appears you have a great deal of thinking to do. I'm sorry son,'_ he looked at me and of course I knew he really meant it. Putting my head in my hands between my knees I groaned from shame.

"I've twisted everything around Carlisle. One mistake after another, and I'm still no closer to getting Bella back than I was weeks ago." I complained unabashedly.

Putting his hand on my shoulder he said, "That's why I'm here disturbing you. As your father, I determined it was time to step in and offer you my advice. Most times I allow you to make your own decisions and work out your own problems, but knowing what happened this afternoon I felt it was time to discuss this with you."

"Do you remember the evening of Bella's birthday?" he asked.

I growled, "Of course, how could I forget that night. That was the beginning of the end, it's etched in my memory for eternity."

"Well, my memories of that evening are a little different from yours, so let me tell you what I walked away with that evening. Yours and Bella's hearts weren't the only ones broken that evening Edward," he said sternly.

I looked up into his eyes, he was studying my face with compassion and authority daring me to disagree or dismiss his statement. Lowering my eyes I gestured with my hand for him to continue.

"While I was stitching up Bella's arm, she questioned my decision to be a doctor and a vampire. She was honestly curious to understand what drove me to overcome my thirst and give back to the communities in which I lived. My understanding of the time that you and Bella had been together was she was very brave and loved you with as much intensity as any of your siblings did for their mates. What struck me that evening was how much she loved your entire family Edward, not just you. Anything that had any bearing on your life was important to Bella. You know some of what I told Bella that evening, but what you do not know is her attentiveness and curiosity. She honestly wanted to know my story and how you came to become my son, she wanted to understand what it was that was preventing you from changing her." He paused to look at me once again before continuing.

"Had you brought home another human girl, a girl with only concerns for your beauty and strength I would have insisted you end it. Although everyone in the family would have been happy to see you with anyone, I knew that it would take a special person to keep you interested. Even during the year she wasn't in your life, I allowed you to wallow in your self-pity hoping you would discover what we all knew. Bella is as much a part of you as any appendage you have. You cannot live without her Edward, and she cannot be in this world without you. It's time to confront the difficult choice you made a year ago. Correct this now. Stop delaying the inevitable and start enjoying your future with the woman who belongs by your side." He stood then and put his hand on my shoulder. "It's time Edward, go to her now, don't practice a script – you couldn't come up with anything even if you spent all night doing it. Bella will always surprise you, so go to her and speak your heart." He studied my face in an effort to make sure I understood.

I acquiesced standing to walk alongside him, back the way we came. It was time to expose myself to Bella. There was not another moment we would be separated because of my ignorance.

When we returned to our property, Esme came from inside the house to stand beside Carlisle as I got inside my car. _'I would wish you luck Edward, but you won't need it. All you need is to remain true to your feelings for Bella and remember she's a very smart young lady that will guide you through this,'_ she smiled knowingly.

As I was driving away I heard Alice, _'It will be beautiful Edward, of this I'm certain.'_ My confidence soared as I drove closer to the one being in my lonely existence worth anything.

Parking the car several blocks from Bella's home was necessary for two reasons, everyone in the neighborhood had returned from their day's activities and I needed the additional time to calm my nerves.

As I approached her house, I zoned in on the tenants inside. Two things registered at once, first Roxanne's voice came out loudly in my head, "Where's Bella?" her voice was panicked unlike the confident tone she normally had. The second thing that happened, my cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I paused for a moment before retrieving it, Alice was screaming on the other end. "Edward, he has her. That boy, the boy who believes she's his girlfriend has her!" Without thinking I rushed inside Bella's house, I needed to find Roxanne.

She was in the hallway; she turned confused as my appearance registered in her mind. "Edward, we need to find Bella, she's gone and I found this note," she said rapidly holding out a slip of paper. Reading it quickly I realized it was written in handwriting I didn't recognize.

**I'm leaving! I've decided to return home, my life here wasn't what I wanted. Bella**

Grabbing Roxanne by the shoulders tightly I said, "Roxanne, this isn't Bella's handwriting. Where is that boy who was causing her trouble?"

She looked at me confused, "What…who…how…you mean Derrick?" _'How could he know about him? Oh it doesn't matter, we just need to find her before she returns home.'_

"Yes him, where is he? Is he in the house?" I was shaking her now; I needed her to focus.

"Stop it, you're rattling my brains. I don't know where he is. Do you think he has something to do with this?" she asked as she tried to unsuccessfully release my hold on her.

I let go of her shoulders and pulled out my cell phone dialing Alice. In the time it took me to get Alice, other members of the household had collected in the hallway. Drake came up to Roxanne in a protective stance, "Who the hell are you?" he demanded glaring at me.

Turning my back to him, I waited for Alice to answer. She picked up in an agitated state, "Edward you need to find a park close to the house. Jasper and I are on our way, but we won't get there in time, you need to hurry." Her words were coming out so fast; it took my enhanced hearing to make out what she was saying.

Hanging up, I turned back around and questioned Roxanne, "Where's the nearest park?"

Drake stood in front of her, "I asked you a question, who the hell are you?"

Roxanne pushed him aside, "It's down the street Edward, why? Drake would you please move out of the way" she said frustrated. He looked at her in shock, hurt by her words. "I'm sorry Drake, but Bella's missing and Edward here seems to think that Derrick has something to do with it." She looked back at me again. "What's going on, tell me now."

Looking at her and using my powers of persuasion I said, "Roxanne, I don't have time to explain. Please understand, Bella is in grave danger…tell me where the park is."

"How would you know that by reading that note?" she asked perplexed. Drake spoke up, "Maybe he's a part of it Roxanne."

"Drake, please! Edward is not a part of this; he loves Bella. He's the reason she's been so miserable, I don't have time to explain. I believe him when he says Bella is in danger. Now, I need to know what you know so I can help?" she asked turning back to me as her eyes pleaded for answers.

"I don't know anything, I'm going on instinct here. Tell me where the park is now!" I growled fiercely.

She halted and for a brief moment I saw the fear claim her features. "It's right down the street, turn right at the stop street and keep walking…you can't miss it." The fear left her now and she continued, "I'm coming with you." She said as she headed towards the door.

Grabbing and pushing her back safely into Drake's arms I said, "NO, wait here. Trust me on this Roxanne. I'll handle it, I promise Bella will be safe." I rushed out the door and was running towards the park before she could take another step.

My fury intensified as I ran, this boy wouldn't get in my way. He didn't know what he was dealing with, my phone was vibrating again…damn I didn't have time for Alice right now; I knew I had to take the call, she may have additional news. Pulling the phone from my pocket quickly while I ran I answered, "Yes Alice."

"Edward, she's terrified. You need to get to her, do you know where she is?" Alice's voice was alarmed; I didn't want to know what she was seeing.

"Alice, the park is down the street from her house, I'm on my way now. Have you been able to identify anything from your vision that will help me find them?" I tried to keep the panic from my voice; I needed her to remain calm.

"She's running on a trail and then runs towards some trees, but she trips Edward. It's my vision from a couple of weeks ago Edward..." She was sobbing now, I heard Jasper quietly trying to calm her.

"Alice, this vision will NOT become a reality I swear to you with everything. I have to hang up and find her." I said hanging up the phone and running at a faster pace.

As I looked ahead I saw the entrance to the park. My eyes scanned the park quickly looking for anything that resembled a path near a tree line. Upon initial entry into the park there was a center island with a flagpole. The paved walking path went in separate directions around the center island and headed further into the park. I stopped; sniffing the wind and listening for any sound that would betray the direction he had taken my angel.

The strongest scent came from my left, I began running quickly letting the scent guide me. My pace quickened as the scent became stronger – my love's aroma combined with another familiar scent in addition to an unfamiliar smell. My anger and fear were beginning to mount as I ran faster; Alice's vision would not come true. I'd wasted too many weeks with the silly notion I needed to make my reappearance in her life a monumental moment. Had I just gone to her weeks ago, she wouldn't have been put in this position, once again I failed my Bella.

Again the trail led in two separate directions, I stopped…smelling the air quickly. The scent was strong now but had combined with one I knew intimately fear, I crouched low and continued running as I heard voices ahead yelling. The trail led off around a bend and as I approached I slowed my pace – hearing Bella's sobs I knew she was still alive. Not wanting to scare her further when I came into view I slowed my pace to a fast human run, when the path straightened out they came into view. What I saw stopped me short.

Bella was in someone's arms, while the boy Derrick was on the ground in a heap. I recognized the boy who held Bella closely; it was Ian. Confusion took the place of anger I was frozen on the spot, surprised and shocked. How did he get here? Was he a part of this? The scene before me didn't appear threatening at the moment.

Voices came faintly from behind me yelling out Bella's name, she turned her head in my direction. I was still frozen, not moving a muscle as I heard her whisper my name just before she fainted.


	35. Derrick and the Dominos

**Derrick and the Dominos**

**I still own no rights to Twilight!**

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BPOV

When Ian and I came back inside we noticed the entertainment center had been overturned. The cause was a mystery as we were the only ones home and hadn't been in the room when it occurred. Ian believed perhaps who ever assembled the piece most likely took shortcuts and it had just collapsed under all the weight. After cleaning up the mess, we shared an awkward silence and then Ian headed up to his room to begin packing for his trip.

His kiss kept playing back in my mind keeping me from concentrating on anything for more than a few moments. Roxanne wasn't home and I really needed someone to discuss my feelings with, I was pacing in the common room like a rat in a maze. After a while I sat stiffly in the chair next to the fireplace inhaling and exhaling to get my emotions back on track. It was useless...this wasn't helping. I decided to head up to my room and get one of my books; perhaps if I got lost in the book for a while it would ease some of the tension.

As I was leaving the room, Derrick was entering. "Hey Bella, where you going?" he asked excitedly.

"Nowhere, I just want to get a book. I'm waiting for Roxanne to return with my British Lit assignment." I said as I walked towards the stairs.

"Oh, are you coming back down? Do you want something to drink or anything?" he called after me as I climbed the stairs.

"No thanks, I'm great." I yelled over my shoulder. Ever since my accident Derrick had adjusted his attentiveness to a more subtle annoyance. He really wasn't so bad, if pushed I'd put him in the same category as Mike Newton – slightly annoying but generally not a bad person.

Entering my room I became anxious once again replaying the kiss and my reaction to it. I ran to the bathroom to check my face, I was sure it showed everything that had transpired this afternoon. The image looking back at me didn't look any different than it did this morning; it was still the same pale too full-lipped face it had always been. Jeez Bella, what's going on with you…you should have gone through puberty ages ago? Your emotions and hormones are raging…ugh! Turning out the bathroom light I went back into the bedroom again.

Where the heck was Roxanne, she was never this late. Of course today she had to be delayed, the day I really needed her. I was pacing again; this wasn't good I needed a distraction. That's right, I was going to read; I came up here to get something to divert me from these silly thoughts. I grabbed a book from the shelf over my desk and headed back to the common room. Reading downstairs would be better, this way I'd hear Rox as soon as she came in.

As I settled into the chair by the fireplace opening my book, I glanced up and looked around the room. The only two people in the room were Derrick and I; he smiled at me and looked back at his own book. I began reading but found I had to read the same paragraph over and over; my attention wasn't what it should have been. Sighing deeply, I closed the book leaving it on my lap and stared into the unlit fireplace.

Derrick came over and sat in the chair across from me and said, "Something wrong Bella?" He seemed so nervous and I suddenly felt bad for him. He really was just a boy that had a crush on me and my actions hadn't helped him to put them in perspective. Lately he had gone out of his way to avoid me and when we were together he was only respectful and kind.

I smiled at him in return and said, "No, its nothing. I just had a strange day and wanted to distract myself by reading." I giggled then and said, "It's not working though."

"Did you want to talk about it, I'm a pretty good listener." He said anxiously.

Raising my good hand up and waving it I said, "No, no – that's not necessary. Thanks though." I looked back at him and realized I knew nothing about him; perhaps talking would help take my mind off my day. "Derrick, where are you from?"

He looked shocked momentarily taken by surprise from my question, "A small town in New Jersey near the shore called Jackson. There's not much that goes on there," he smiled shyly. "It was a happy day when I got accepted here, giving me a chance to get away – my mom and I have lived there my whole life. She's not too happy I decided to attend an out of state school but I'm glad. I didn't have too many friends in school and this…well it's like starting over again."

"Oh, I understand." And I did, more than he could possibly know. It was amazing by asking one simple question I just found out he and I had more in common than most others who shared the house with us.

I studied his face now as if seeing him for the first time, his expression was a bit sad even though he was smiling. It was like the smile never really reached his eyes, his expression was one that seemed to question whether or not he was saying the right thing. "So have you adjusted since moving here, are you finding it easier to make friends?" I asked truly curious. I don't know why I wanted to know but for some reason his answer was important to me. Part of me wanted reassurance that my treatment of him didn't make him feel insecure about his new home.

He looked down at the book he was holding and shrugged, "It's not any easier, but at least everyone doesn't have preconceived ideas of who I am based on my adolescent years. My mom was pretty protective of me and sometimes embarrassed me. I am the only son and my Dad left many years ago, so she's kind of overbearing." He looked up at me through his lashes with his head still downcast watching for any sign of criticism from me.

Nodding my head, I showed him I understood…Rene sometimes got carried away as well. My modest agreement was all it took to get him to smile more confidently. "So what are you reading?" Nodding my head towards the book in his hand I asked trying to keep the conversation light.

He looked down again and smiled back at me, "Thr3e by Ted Dekker, its pretty good, it's a suspense novel. I like to read these types of books, keeps me on my toes. How about you, what are you reading?"

Slightly embarrassed I responded, "Wuthering Heights…I'm a tragic romance junkie. I love the classics, but especially the classics that deal with romance and the complications of love." I shrugged, embarrassed or not it was the truth.

"That's cool Bella, everyone has their own interests." He replied happily. "So what about you? Do you like college life?" His interest was genuine and I found myself surprisingly enjoying our conversation.

"Yes immensely. I enjoy the assignments and classes much more than I did in high school and the fact that I'm treated like an adult responsible for my assignments without adult supervision makes it that much more appealing to me." I giggled. "I guess I no longer feel like a kid." At that point my stomach let out a loud growl. "Oh excuse me, I skipped lunch today. I should go see what there is to eat in the kitchen." I stood preparing to leave.

"Hey would you like to go get a slice of pizza? I'm hungry too and we could talk some more," Derrick asked.

Thinking about his offer for a couple of seconds, I agreed. The walk would be good considering I hadn't left the house all day and most likely there wasn't much to eat in the kitchen. Since Roxanne hadn't come home yet she was probably going to get something on campus anyway.

We headed towards the door and I grabbed my poncho to put it on, that's when I remembered about the jacket and hesitated thinking perhaps I should run upstairs and ask Ian about it. Standing there considering this choice, I decided to wait until I actually saw him wearing the jacket – otherwise I'd just sound like a nut.

As we walked to the pizza place I asked Derrick more about his life growing up and what his interests were. He actually was a nice guy, shy and socially awkward but not all that bad. While we were eating we compared horror stories on whose mother committed the worst embarrassing moments and were laughing, sometimes a little too loud for the other diners.

It was getting late and I really wanted to talk to Rox before she settled in for the evening so I said, "We should head back. Roxanne stopped by my professor's office to pick up my assignment so I need to get back to review what needs to accomplished before the next class."

Standing up I went to put on my poncho, but he remained sitting and just smiling at me. "I really had fun tonight Bella. We should do this again."

"Sure, no problem. Now come on," I urged him. I was anxious to talk to Roxanne about what happened this afternoon with Ian.

He suggested that we take a different way home saying that it was a bit shorter than the way we came. It was quiet as we walked home both of us lost in our own thoughts. We were walking past a park when he stopped suddenly and pulled on my arm. "Bella tonight was nice wasn't it? It was like we were on a date, right?"

I was shocked. Here I thought we had gotten past all of that and he was asking me outright if I thought this was a date. Knowing what I knew of him after this evening, letting him down easy was the only choice. "Well Derrick, no it wasn't a date. I did have fun though." I said smiling easily at him hoping he would understand.

His mood changed swiftly, "What? I'm not good enough for you? You can only go out with the popular guys. You know I thought you were different, especially after tonight. But you're not – you're just like all the other girls…" he stated walking towards the entrance to the park.

"Wait, Derrick where are you going? Don't be like that; I really did have a good time. I'm sorry I'm just not interested in dating right now." I pleaded following him.

He whipped around and grabbed me by the shoulders shaking me, "Don't lie to me! You've been dating the guy in the house for several weeks now. So why when I ask you out do you lie and say you don't want to date!"

He was shouting now and his facial expression really frightened me. His grip on my shoulders tightened to the point where I knew I would have a bruise later. Not knowing what to say I just stood there staring at him waiting for him to release me.

Calmly I said, "Derrick, can you let go of me…you're hurting me."

"Well that's just too bad Bella. You've been hurting me for weeks now. Every time I'd see you with that guy…sitting on the couch, holding hands, laughing at your little secrets. Now you know how it feels to hurt." His eyes were wide and deranged looking, I needed to calm him down but it seemed like no matter what I'd say he would take it out of context.

Thinking quickly I blurted out, "Look if you want to go on a date, we can. But tonight wasn't a date okay!"

His facial expression hardened and he began pulling on me taking me further into the park. "Tonight was our date, and dates hold hands and walk through parks. You and I are going to finish our date and you will kiss me. This was a very special date and you are going to tell me how much you enjoyed it." He was ranting now; not making any sense. He had built up some dream world and unfortunately I was the main attraction.

The further into the park he pulled me the more frightened I became, what if he really lost it. We were getting further away from the street and no one would be able to hear me. My mind was racing how did this get so far out of control and how was I going to get away from him.

Just then it hit me, I could use my cast as a weapon…I just needed to get the right leverage in order to inflict any kind of damage. I saw my opportunity and swung as hard as I could, but just as I did he shifted position and my arm only glanced on air. I almost fell down from the force I had been putting towards striking him, but his hold on me was too tight.

He became even angrier and started screaming at me. He was so mad that his grip on me slipped and I took the chance and began running as fast as I could. I knew I was running in the wrong direction but I just wanted to get away from him. The tears were streaming down my face and I couldn't see, before I knew it I was on the ground. Within moments he was on top of me pinning me to the ground and screaming in my face. All I could do was struggle to get free and plead with him that he wasn't thinking straight.

The next thing I knew, he was pushed off me and I heard punches being thrown. Jumping up I saw someone on top of Derrick wildly throwing punches to his face. As I stood looking at what was taking place before me it quickly registered that it was Ian beating Derrick. Derrick was moaning and crying, I yelled to Ian to stop but it wasn't registering with him. It was as if he was a possessed man. Running over and grabbing his shoulders I screamed at him again.

He finally turned and his face was furious for a moment and then he looked at me and back at Derrick on the ground. Jumping up he grabbed me and held me to him while I sobbed. I could feel his whole body shaking as I clung to him.

I was never so happy to see someone as I was at that moment. I looked up into his face and realized he had probably just saved me from a situation that would have gotten much worse. Touching his cheek lightly I said, "Thank you."

"Are you okay, did he hurt you?" he asked as he stroked my shoulders and arms. His eyes were taking in every inch of my face as if to ensure that nothing was out of place. I nodded my head letting him know I was okay and he pulled me into his arms and held me tightly. That's when I heard my name being called from the direction Derrick had brought me.

I turned towards the path and there – no more than 5 feet away, stood Edward. My body froze; it couldn't be; this had to be my imagination playing with me again. This couldn't be happening and then my head started spinning, my ears started ringing and the world went black.

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	36. Black Out

**Black Out**

**Still don't own anything related to Twilight.**

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EPOV

Ian had turned at the same time and saw me as Bella had, confusion registered on his face as he heard Bella whisper my name. When he felt her go limp in his arms he immediately recovered from his shock and placed her on the ground kneeling beside her and calling out her name to revive her. As I watched the scene unfolding from my vantage point, I noticed that Derrick had begun to recover and was beginning to scramble to his feet. This was the motivation I needed to recover from my immobility.

I ran the few yards to where the three of them were gathered to ensure he wouldn't get very far. Being in no mood to have to chase this boy down, I quickly picked him up by his shirt and held him tightly while he struggled and whimpered. I could easily snap his neck and be done with the likes of him. Looking back at Ian and Bella I asked in a controlled voice, "Is she alright, he didn't hurt her did he?" Depending on the answer I received I may still snap his neck.

Just as he looked up to reply, Alice and Jasper came running around the bend. Jasper remained a few feet away, while Alice quickly went to Bella's side. Ian looked at Alice and said with concern, "She doesn't seem to be coming to. I don't think he hurt her but I'm not sure."

"She's fine," Alice replied in a monotone voice. "Edward, bring that boy to Jasper, you need to help me with Bella," she commanded. I was still rooted to the spot, staring at my beautiful angel cradled in another man's arms. This wasn't supposed to happen, Bella needed to okay – this was supposed to be our moment.

Jasper approached and lightly touched my shoulder silently conveying he had Derrick and I should attend to Bella. Stepping lightly towards my sister, I knelt beside her and gazed at Bella. She looked like a sleeping angel; her scent and beauty overcoming my emotions caused me to moan. Reaching my hand to touch her face, I noticed it was trembling; there was only one other time when fear of this magnitude seeped within me – I pushed the memory back. The sound of feet running towards us caused Ian to turn in the direction from which we had come and I heard an audible rush of air – he must have been holding his breath in either fear or shock at the site of my family members and me.

I heard Roxanne's thoughts before I saw her. _'Oh my God, he was right…Derrick did take her. Is she hurt, what's wrong with her?'_ Her thoughts raced wildly before she screamed and came running to our sides. "Bella, Bella…is she okay?" she asked looking at Alice and I.

"She's fine," Alice responded. "I believe this evening's events were just a little too much for her to handle and her mind has shut down to protect her. I'm not sure though, we need to have her looked at. Edward, help me lift her and get her medical attention. Jasper where is Carlisle meeting us?"

"NO," Ian exclaimed. "Who are you people? Roxanne, what's going on here?" he said pulling Bella closer to his body.

"Ian, it's okay. These are…friends…well yeah, friends of Bella's from her hometown. They're here to help, their father is a doctor." Roxanne explained trying to calm him.

As I looked into Ian's face I saw his expressions alternating between several emotions – anger, confusion, hurt. At that moment, I held no ill will towards the boy he had rescued my angel; succeeded where I would surely have failed based on Alice's vision. His motives were of no consequence at this time. "May I?" I whispered to him gesturing with my hands that I would be lifting Bella.

He looked at Bella and nodded ever so slightly. Knowing the emotions he must have been experiencing I quickly slipped Bella from his arms before he changed his mind and cradling her to my chest as I rose. Jasper spoke quietly, "Carlisle will meet us at her house." _'We didn't know if we would arrive in time…until the very last moment,'_ he finished in his mind.

Standing with Bella in my arms was like being in heaven. Her scent and warmth wrapped around me and filled me with serenity that only her proximity could deliver. There was no cause for concern, I heard her heartbeat at a regular pace and felt the air gently blowing on my neck as she exhaled. My angel was safe. Sighing deeply I pulled her closer and inhaled her sweet fragrance.

Turning to the path from where we arrived I noticed Bella's other friends had arrived at some point. Roxanne and Alice flanked my sides as I began walking with Bella who was still not responding. Jasper was following close behind with Derrick in tow as he whimpered incoherent phrases. No one even acknowledged his presence. I had tuned everyone's thoughts out as my relief for Bella's safety overpowered all other emotions.

Drake stepped past us quickly and went to Ian's side. I heard him asking Ian as we walked away, "Hey are you okay? What happened here? Come on, get up."

Anne and Sam were standing on the path confused; their eyes were flitting from our little cluster as we walked towards them, to Drake and Ian further back on the grass. Roxanne paused briefly and told Anne we were bringing Bella back to the house. Anne's eyes glanced at my face, briefly looked at Bella and nodded her head.

As I walked with Bella in my arms, I held her closer to my chest and kissed her head. Had I been able to cry I'm sure tears would have been flowing freely down my face and I did not care who witnessed the scene. My love had escaped death one more time. If Ian had not been in the vicinity or even mere moments later there is no telling what everyone would have come upon in the aftermath of that remote area in the park.

When we arrived at Bella's house, Carlisle and Esme were standing by his car waiting for our arrival. He quickly came to my side and began checking her vitals. _'Edward carry her into the house, she appears safe but I'd like to give her a better examination before confirming.'_ Stepping around him I carried her up to the door as Roxanne held it open.

The entryway was filled with people and Roxanne took control, "Move out of the way…Edward bring her to our room, it's the third door on the left. Come on people, MOVE," she said loudly while pushing people aside.

Moving quickly into her room, I settled Bella gently on the bed and stepped back so Carlisle could examine her properly. Watching him intently I tried to gain control of my emotions, my hands were still trembling from the scene playing in my head. A calm spread through me as Jasper and Alice entered the room, glancing over my shoulder I smiled weakly at him acknowledging the appreciation for his efforts.

Carlisle swiftly and efficiently checked Bella for any sign of harm. "She appears to be free of any physical damage, her emotional state seems to have taken most of the damage. I don't like the fact she's been out this long. Her recent trauma combined with her already fragile frame of mind has caused her to withdraw within herself. I'm honestly not sure when she'll come around, I'm sorry." He turned to look at me with an expression of deep concern. _'Edward you may be the only one to break through the barriers she has imposed. We'll give you some privacy while we calm everyone down.' _He walked to the door guiding Alice and Jasper downstairs.

As I sat gazing at Bella, I heard Roxanne coming up the steps as my family was exiting the room. "Can I see her?" she asked cautiously.

"Yes, but please make it quick. She hasn't come around yet and I've asked Edward to stay with her. If anyone can break through to her, I believe it will be him. We'll wait here, our family will need your assistance in calming down your co-eds." Carlisle informed her.

"Sure, no problem." She responded quickly as she entered the room.

Her steps were light as she approached Bella; stroking her face lightly, she looked over at me and sighed. Sitting beside me on her bed she said while still looking at Bella, "Well Romeo, this didn't exactly turn out like we planned." She sighed again and patted my hand.

"It's time for you to prove yourself to our girl now, help her to come back to us Edward. She can't stay locked away in her mind, we need her – both of us, so put on the charm and get her to snap out of it. Stop wallowing in this…emotional abyss and bring her back. Once she realizes you are really here, she'll return." She looked at me with such force and confidence in my ability it shook me to my core.

I stood and walked to Bella's side, Roxanne's speech frightened me. What if I wasn't able to reach her…what if my recent activities had pushed her too far and she was beyond even my ability to get through to her. Turning back to Roxanne anxiously I asked quietly, "What if I'm unable to connect with her?"

She rose and came to stand beside me, nudging me gently in the ribs, "Who are you kidding Romeo, our girl has it bad for you. She's Penelope…she's been fighting off suitors for a year now waiting for your return. No she wouldn't miss this moment for anything in the world." She smiled up at me. Her words were strong with confidence, but her thoughts were unsure. _'What if it's not enough though? What if all the stress she's had is just too much? She has to come back, he has to help her…she can't stay locked away, he's the answer to all her dreams.'_

"Roxanne?" Alice whispered from the door, "Everyone is getting restless downstairs, we need to explain what happened."

"Okay, I'll be right there." She looked back at me and took my hands. "You can do this, you have to. I don't know you very well, but Bella does and her faith in you remains resolute. Sit with her, talk to her…she'll respond." She looked at Bella again before walking to the door closing it behind her.

Looking down upon my angel, I brushed a stray hair from her face. Roxanne was right Bella only needed to hear my voice and she would return. Lifting her gently in my arms, I sat on her bed leaning back against the headboard with my legs extended on the mattress crossed at the ankles. Positioning her body slightly on its side, I placed her head so that her right ear was pressed to my chest. Wrapping my right arm over her I placed her broken arm on my abdomen while my left arm held her head tightly in position.

Sighing deeply, I began talking knowing in this position she would be able to hear my voice as it left my mouth but also hear it from deep within my chest. At first it was desperate coos pleading with her to return to me. I alternated between the requests for her to return to humming her lullaby. When she remained in the unresponsive state I decided to tell her everything that had taken place since that fateful day in the woods. I told the story in reverse order beginning with where we currently were and winding down to the moment I turned my back on her in the woods. My thoughts were lost in the visions that played in my head, I'm not sure how much time had passed but when I had completed the dialogue I heard a gentle knock on the door.

There was no way I would move from my position to discover who was knocking I let it pass. Another gentle knock came again and then the door opened slowly, I turned my head to see who was entering. Ian poked his head in the door, for a brief moment his face registered deep hurt as he took in the scene before him. "Do you mind if I come in?" he asked quietly.

"No, please join me." I owed him at least this and since Bella had yet to respond to me perhaps he would have an influence on her. His thoughts were reminiscent of my own not too long ago, _'this is harder than I imagined. Bella in his arms…it's ripping me to pieces. But this is what is meant to be – after hearing everything he just told her…I know that my presence in her life would only hurt her more.'_

I didn't let the surprise register on my face; he had eavesdropped on everything I just voiced to Bella. My discourse with Bella had diverted my awareness of anything else, I never heard him outside the door. Briefly I felt a flash of anger but then realized he had every right to come to her side in her time of need. He didn't know me; I was an interloper in the future he was hoping to build with Bella.

Sitting on Roxanne's bed I analyzed his face and thoughts, he would be true to his word. If Bella awoke and informed him that she had no interest he would step aside. His face was a mask struggling to contain his pain. "So…Roxanne tells me you and Bella have a past," he said not revealing that he had just heard for himself.

"Yes, you could say that," I chuckled dryly. Glancing down at Bella briefly I stroked her hair continuing, "She's my world. I made the biggest mistake of my entire existence a year ago and plan on rectifying that as soon as she opens her eyes." I looked up at him raising my eyebrow slightly to convey how serious I was in my quest.

"I see," he sighed. Looking directly into my eyes he said, "and what if she doesn't want you back? What will you do then?"

"Most likely my actions will be similar to yours, if she chooses me over you." I stated firmly. "Ian I understand you do not know me and your interest in Bella has been growing since the day you met, but I have no intention of ripping Bella apart in order to appease my own selfish needs. If upon her waking she decides her future does not include me, I will walk away. I only request you hold true to your feelings for her and do the same." Glancing back down at Bella quickly I looked up at him again to gauge his expression and thoughts.

Nodding he held my gaze, "You seem pretty confident. Are you so sure that after walking away from her a year ago, she will allow you back in her life?" _'He's so comfortable with her, the way he holds her and speaks…his confidence is solid. It's as if he has an inside track to her thoughts…'_

If only his thoughts were true. Shrugging my shoulders I said calmly, "I don't really know how Bella will react. That is a major concern of mine, I'm just requesting we honor her decision and not cause any additional strife for her. As you can see by tonight's drama her emotional state should be our primary concern. If we love her as we both claim, then our own emotions should be secondary to her well being."

'_Wow, this guy has it all…no wonder Bella couldn't let go. He has the looks, the way he speaks is so…formal…is that the right word? How could I possibly compete with this Joe!'_ Glancing back at Bella he spoke, "Fine, Bella's choice it is. Do you mind if I ask you a few more questions?" he asked diverting his eyes to his hands in his lap.

"It's a free world? I won't commit to answering if I feel they are too invasive."

"Why did you leave – how could you leave her?" He asked quietly. I knew by his thoughts he wasn't just asking for the knowledge he was trying to prepare himself for the inevitable when Bella awoke.

"Bella and my relationship was…is complicated. We are like waves in the ocean against sea stones." I smiled at my analogy. "I'm the stone, cold and hard…difficult at best to penetrate. With waves that crash against the surface the stones will slowly reform…softening the sharp edges. Bella was the wave that softened my rough edges. She entered my world and splashed against my existence forever changing me. I no longer belong on the shore's edges waiting for her to gently lap against me – my place is deep within her ocean depths softly contoured to her desire. I've been changed forever." I sighed looking down at my love again.

"I apologize, I have yet to answer your question. A year ago Bella's world and mine didn't make sense to me…I resisted everything she delivered. My world didn't deserve someone as beautiful as her, I couldn't fathom how someone as fragile and exquisite as her could fit into the existence I had developed. It's simple really; I pushed her away. I told her I didn't love her" I shrugged again and looked at him, "I lied." I felt Bella stir in my arms ever so slightly, had I been human I wouldn't have detected it. Perhaps I was getting through to her, I didn't want Ian to know so I just tightened my hold on her.

"But why? If she meant so much to you, why would you do that; how could you do that?"

"Again, simple…her life meant much more to me than my own. If she could return to the life she was leading before I entered it, then she would be safe. My own shortcomings would not interfere with her future. Believe it or not I was for once in my existence being unselfish…giving her what I believed she needed at the time." Bella's heart rate quickened at my words, I knew it she was coming around…it was just a matter of time.

I leaned my head back on the headboard and continued perhaps if I told my story she would understand and come back to me. "I had every intention of remaining committed to this course, but then Alice found out our travels had intersected and we were once again within miles of one another. Believe me when I tell you I resisted the temptation to run to her and claim her as my own. The inner struggle was interminable, still right now holding her in my arms I question whether or not this is right for her. But I'm weak, weak and selfish…I need her just as a person needs air to breath. Her riptide is too strong to keep me upon the shore. Who am I to question destiny?" Bella's sigh was barely audible to even my ears and I smirked at the knowledge.

He remained motionless, silent as his thoughts absorbed all I had told him. _'I've lost her, its obvious the only thing missing is the fat lady. How could I possibly compete with this bond?'_ Placing his hands on his knees preparing to stand he sighed, before he could leave there was one question I needed an answer to.

Looking over at him I said, "Ian I've answered your questions truthfully, I was wondering if you could reciprocate?" pausing I waited for his answer. He remained seated and looked at me curiously inviting my question. "How did you know Derrick had taken Bella to the park?"

In my arms Bella began to shift the slightest bit again. I wasn't sure if in the recesses of her mind the question I had just posed had made her uncomfortable, so I wrapped my arms around her tighter in an attempt to help her feel safe.

Ian was nervous, I could hear it in his thoughts as well as tell by his actions. He was staring at his hands as they nervously twitched in his lap. "Well, that's an uncomfortable question to answer especially since it came from you. Since you were so honest with me, I feel compelled to give you the same respect."

He looked at me now and grimaced. "This afternoon I came home and challenged Bella, I had no idea you were around or even what your relationship had meant. I asked Bella to grant me one kiss and allow me the opportunity to help her forget about you. Afterwards, I felt the need to leave for a bit to give her some space…this house can get pretty small at times. Everyone seems to be involved in one another's business, so I decided to take a walk. I didn't know Derrick had taken Bella, I knew he was a nuisance but never in my wildest imagination did I believe he was capable of what he pulled this evening." He paused shaking his head; he was struggling with this concept feeling somewhat responsible.

"Ian, no one holds you accountable for Derrick's actions. Do not blame yourself for his behavior." I stated letting him know I would not use this as an advantage in gaining Bella's affections.

"Thanks. Anyway I was walking in the park when I heard someone pleading with someone else, I headed in the direction of the voices and saw Derrick grabbing at Bella and pushing her to the ground. My reaction was one I never imagined myself capable, I rushed him and started beating him senseless until I heard Bella yelling for me to stop. You pretty much know the rest I guess because it was moments later she whispered your name…" he sat with his hands folded in his lap looking down at them while he twisted his fingers.

I felt bad for the boy, this afternoon was probably one of the best of his short time in knowing Bella and this evening's events had changed it so significantly. He knew it was over for him, she would never be his…but still his hope had held strong until he heard my words. Bella had a way of making everyone in her life feel special and her effect on this boy was one he would remember and hopefully look back on with fondness for the rest of his life.

"Well unless you have more questions, I'm going to head downstairs. If Drake is still in the mood I think we'll be heading back to New York State." He said standing and moving towards the door. He turned with his hand on the handle, "When she comes to could you have Roxanne let Drake know, I really am fond of her and want to make sure she's okay."

I nodded my head and said, "Ian thank you for watching out for her. I'll never forget how good you've been to her."

"That was the easy part," he said as he left the room.

Holding Bella closer I evaluated everything we had been through in two very short years of knowing one another. I wanted her to wake up, this seemed like it was taking too long and my nerves were starting to wear thin. Patience was never a strong suit of mine and this was testing the limits. I had pleaded, provided her with information about the past year…the only thing I hadn't spoken of was the future. So I began telling her of all the places we would visit and moments we had yet to enjoy. As I told her of my desires I could feel the life returning to her slowly. Stroking her face occasionally and kissing her head I continued providing her with all the reasons she should return to me.

"Edward" I heard her whisper. Shifting from my position so I could witness her eyes opening when she finally came around, I responded,"Yes love?" I chuckled as her forehead creased with confusion. She groaned slightly and I lightened my hold on her slightly, as if by instinct her fingers in her left hand gripped my shirt, but still she kept her eyes closed.

Deciding to help her reach the decision to wake, I blew softly in her face and then kissed her on the nose gently. Pulling my head back I watched intently as she inhaled deeply and then smiled softly. My Bella was returning…I grinned with excitement – this was the moment I had waited for. Anxious for her to open her eyes so I could look deep into the depths of the brown pools, I traced my finger on her cheek. She reached up and touched the spot on her face I had just touched and smiled again.

She was resisting my charms so I decided to take action…"Bella, love…wake up." I whispered softly in her ear. That did the trick…she opened one eye slowly just barely peeking at me. She smiled and then frowned opening the other eye. Confusion was written across her face as she became more alert, she pulled her face away and stared at me. I smiled broadly at her and said, "Welcome back beautiful."

She struggled against me to sit up and then winced in pain as she wrenched her arm quickly. I reached out and helped her to sit up, all the while grinning like a fool. "What…what are you doing here?" she stammered. My grin slipped from my face, she wasn't happy to see me.

"I…I…Bella, what's wrong?" I decided to change the course of this questioning. I wasn't prepared to address everything so quickly. "Let me get Carlisle, perhaps you should be looked at again." I said as I swiftly moved towards the door.

"Wait just one minute. Don't move another muscle. I asked you a question, I expect an answer before you go running for cover." She said firmly. Her tone of voice stopped me in mid-stride. This wasn't the reunion I was expecting.

Turning back to her slowly I asked lightly teasing, "What was the question again?"

"You know exactly what I asked Edward…what are you doing here?" she crossed her arms across her chest and glared at me. "I thought you promised no more interference in my life. Why do I have to keep my promises and you blatantly disregard yours?"

Rushing back to her side, I took her hand, "Bella don't you want me here? Am I no longer welcome in your life?" I was stricken…how could I have been so wrong, how could everyone have been so wrong.

She looked up at me and said less severely, "We weren't discussing my wishes Edward, I asked about yours. I'd like to understand why you've returned. My love for you has never wavered, you on the other hand left me. I'd like an explanation as to why you've returned."

The tears began to flow down her cheeks and I sat by her side wiping them away with kisses. If she required an explanation, then she would have one, even if it took all night.

* * *


	37. Dazed and Confused

**Dazed and Confused**

**Usual Disclaimer: There is only one genius behind the Twilight series and it's not me!**

The very beginning of this chapter is while Bella is in her blackout. I tried many many times to put additional spacing between the lines to indicate time lapses with no success. So the only remedy since fanfiction will not allow me to format properly was to provide you with this brief explanation.

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BPOV

_"She appears to be free of any physical damage, her emotional state seems to have taken most of the damage."_

__

"It's time for you to prove yourself to our girl now, help her to come back to us Edward."

"Bella and my relationship was…is complicated."

"It's simple really; I pushed her away. I told her I didn't love her"

"Believe it or not I was for once in my existence being unselfish…giving her what I believed she needed at the time."

"Who am I to question destiny?"

__

"How did you know Derrick had taken Bella to the park?"

My dream was so odd this time; most times they were vivid and clear I could remember every moment with perfect clarity. This dream was very unusual…there were only bits and pieces, snippets really, that I could recall and none of it made any sense – my past joining my present. I knew once I woke up it would all disappear like vapors…I wasn't ready for that yet. Even though it was illogical, I wanted to stay in this place with him…"Edward…"

"Yes Love" I heard his voice call softly, the velvety tenderness sounded so close…I knew this was just part of the dream. Edward was gone, forever removed from my life because I wasn't what he wanted.

My head felt like I was swimming in fog…I tried in vain to recall more details of the dream but it was on the edges of the fog. The only thing that was registering was his voice in my head, then a gentle breeze hit my face and the scent hit me – his scent.

This was wonderful, let the fog wrap around me if it brings memories like this. I felt a cold gentle streak on my cheek so reminiscent of when his fingers would trace my face, like an electric current running down the side of my cheek. His voice called out to me again; it was a whisper. This felt so real – the sensation of his lips next to my ear made it that much more enjoyable, he wanted me to wake up. No...I didn't want to open my eyes, this was heaven -- I didn't want to return just yet.

Understanding it was only an illusion and the longer I took to embrace reality the worse it would hurt, I opened one eye to peek at my surroundings – not wanting to be blinded by the sun as usual. That particular reality could wait until the fog lifted more. As my lid slowly opened, I caught the most beautiful sight possible, my illusion continued…wait a minute this couldn't be I know I'm in my own bed. So why does it feel like his body is lying next to mine something wasn't right. I opened both eyes to clear my head completely.

_What the…_there he was in all his glory, my Adonis. How? I needed to focus – I struggled to sit up and wrenched my arm. Damn, he was sitting right here with my favorite crooked smile, "What…what are you doing here?" I asked him as the pain from my arm caused me to realize he really was within reach – only pain could make it real.

The question wasn't really a question at all when I initially asked; it was more like a question to myself – confusion and frustration forcing it from my lips. When he answered his voice was anxious but it still sounded like music to my ears, he was worried about something. He wanted to have Carlisle check me over, what for? As he left my side to escape I stopped him, there was no way he was sneaking away I wanted an answer. Exactly what was he doing here, here in my room at school, here in Vermont…none of this made any sense.

He pretended he didn't hear me, if he thought he was being clever I wasn't buying it. With his hearing the people in the house next door could drop a pin and he'd hear it. A year had come and gone without a word from him, I wake up and find him in my room acting like he never left. Even though I should never be surprised when it comes to him, this was odd. What happened to the _promise_ he made to not interfere in my life? I never wanted him to leave but he did and I had to learn how to live without him. I wanted answers now – before anything else, I needed answers.

He seemed genuinely upset when he took my hand, and said, "Bella don't you want me here? Am I no longer welcome in your life?" His voice normally smooth like velvet held an anxiousness and raw desire, how could I do this? I didn't want to upset him, I certainly didn't want him to leave but I wanted to know what his return meant.

I looked up into his face, the face that always shook me to the core. He needed to understand that I never stopped loving him, but that didn't change the situation at this moment. "We weren't discussing my wishes Edward, I asked about yours. I'd like to understand why you've returned. My love for you has never wavered you on the other hand left me. I'd like an explanation as to why you've returned."

There, I said it…somehow I found the courage to tell him what I really needed him to understand. And then my emotions gave way and the tears began to flow. I felt so weak once again, I hated the fact that tears always sprung to my eyes whenever I was angry or sad and right now I was both.

As I cried he did what only he could do – he kissed the tears following the trail as they slowly slid down my face. Any other guy would have held me, or sat uncomfortably with me until they stopped, not knowing how to properly comfort a crying woman. His actions were just what I would expect from an early 19th century man. So gentle, loving and understanding; this was what I had missed most, his ability to make me feel like I was the only thing that mattered.

As the tears continued I wondered what his return would mean, was he only here for a visit? Why did he return? Nothing had changed I was still human, he was still a vampire…all the complications were still intact. I was happy when he was in my life, even with the complications, but apparently he wasn't.

His seemingly happy mood when I woke up was hard to understand…when he left it was very obvious that our relationship was over for good. The cold hardening of his eyes as we stood on the path in the woods next to Charlie's house was a look I would never forget. The days leading up to his leaving – his silent brooding, the detachment he had when he spoke those words. So what did his return mean, where was all this happiness coming from?

As I thought about this I was able to get enough control to look at him, the hard part would be addressing the real issues. The answers were important, but I wanted to delay the questions as long as possible, being in his presence once again was something I had wanted for so long. Now he was here and I was crying instead of languishing in the moment. I didn't know how long he would be here, so I wiped away the few remaining drops of water leaking from my eyes and gazed into his beautiful face.

The purple bruises under his eyes, accented by his pale skin…his beautiful nose straight and perfectly aligned with his chiseled jaw. I reached up tracing his features with my fingertips, wanting this moment to last forever. His cheekbones prominent and perfect in everyway, but his lips were what I was drawn to most; the fullness gave the appearance of a suppleness that didn't actually exist.

My fingers traced his cheeks moving slowly to the outline of his lips and suddenly his hand held mine as he kissed each fingertip lightly, almost as if tasting the tender skin. I held perfectly still remembering how much my blood tempted him while watching his eyes. They were pitch black but held a softness that could mean only one thing he was controlling his instincts. My heart rate accelerated as my breath quickened, his lips were slowly caressing the top of my hand and I couldn't think straight. Although his actions were simple and pure, the emotions racing through me right now were downright erotic.

As his lips left the trail from my fingertips to the top of my hand the feeling created was a current of electricity that pulled with such force my breathing stopped. I watched his face; his eyes were closed now as he continued faintly kissing his way to my wrist. He inhaled deeply before kissing it lightly and then his tongue delicately licked the tender skin; it was as if lightening had pierced my heart…I gasped. He'd never done that before – the feeling inside me threatened to overwhelm me and I wanted to wrap myself around him begging for more. But I was frozen, shock and pleasure suspending all movement. The smile on his face, the crooked outline turned up at the corners, I couldn't speak.

Studying his face I realized he was probably pushing his limits. His eyes conveyed just how much he needed to feed perhaps this was the reason he returned. Maybe the pull of my scent was so clearly imprinted in his memory he'd finally decided to act upon his instincts. I didn't want him to leave but knew it was necessary. His thirst would get the best of him and he'd either act on it or withdraw and leave punishing himself for something he couldn't control. I was already too immersed in his return and needed answers before he left for good. Perhaps if he left to feed, we could have the conversation that I needed so desperately.

If I could convince him to hunt it would give me the opportunity to collect myself. Even though it felt like time had stopped temporarily I knew the moment of his departure was imminent. I needed to say something to prolong his visit; clearing my throat I offered him the chance to leave me once again – hoping that this time it would only be for a few hours.

* * *


	38. Hell Hath No Fury

**Hell Hath No Fury**

**Same disclaimer, no I have no rights when it comes to Twilight and the characters.**

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EPOV

Her reaction upon waking stopped me cold as only Bella could do. Esme was right, it didn't matter what speech I had prepared to deliver if Bella was the person who would be the audience. She always managed to surprise me by her actions and words; this occasion was no exception. My cold dead heart had ceased beating over a century ago, yet when being beside her I could swear I felt it swelling inside my chest.

As soon as she regained some control over her tears, she pulled away slowly and studied my face. I sat still watching as her small hand touched my cheek and glided slowly down to my lips tracing it with her fingers. It was the most amazing feeling...her tiny fingers left a warm feeling as they trailed around my lips. Reaching up and taking her hand in mine, I kissed each fingertip slowly continuing across the top of her hand until I reached her wrist. Inhaling deeply, I luxuriated in the scent of my love. Not being able to control my dormant human emotions I closed my eyes and briefly flicked my tongue on her wrist before lightly kissing it. I heard her gasp as my tongue touched her soft skin, her heart rate increased dramatically and I smiled. Although this was a struggle for me, it was a painful pleasure entirely worth the outcome. The taste of her skin on my tongue was causing my venom to flow, but I swallowed it down. My tongue was still tingling from the warmth.

She still had not said a word since asking for my explanation but she didn't seem impatient to have my response. Looking into my eyes she cleared her throat and whispered, "You look thirsty…maybe you should go."

The words stung, it felt as if my heart had stopped beating once again. "Do you want me to leave?" my voice was barely audible but I knew she heard me. Her eyes briefly flashed something I'm not sure what new emotion this was; it was one I hadn't seen before. But she didn't say a word; she just shook her head no slowly.

Relaxing slightly I said, "I'm not as thirsty as you may believe, you're just tempting my desires my love. My eyes are conveying the yearning I hold for you." I smiled at her desperately hoping for a return smile.

Lowering her head to break the trance we had fallen into she sighed, "Edward you still haven't answered my question, why are you here?"

My anxiety started to build again, the frustration of not being able to hear her thoughts was building. If only I knew what her question intended to answer for her. "Bella, I will answer your question but before I do so, may I ask one of my own?"

She glanced up warily, "You can ask any question you want…"

I knew by the way she answered she intended to hold back. "Please Bella, I will answer _all_ your questions, but I need an answer to this question." I urged. She had to be completely truthful with her answers there was no way for me to get through this without knowing she wouldn't edit her answers.

She sat back against the headboard as she continued to look down, "I'll try…" she whispered.

Analyzing her body language wasn't helping me determine what was happening behind that beautiful face. So I asked my question, this would be the first step towards either mending our future or resolving my future without her. "Have you found happiness without me?"

Her head came up quickly searching my face and the pained look in her eyes startled me. "Edward, I've been happy – it's not a question of being happy. Being without you is…has been torture. I told you, my love for you has never wavered but I've struggled to put our brief time together in perspective. Doing this was necessary in order for me to get out of bed in the morning. Happy?" she asked looking up at the ceiling. "There are various levels of happiness Edward and you brought so much more than happiness to my life. So if I answer your question simply, yes I've been happy. But complete," she shook her head, "a whole person moving forward in life? No."

Relief flooded through me, I reached over and held her face in my hand preparing to kiss her when I saw her hand come up blocking my attempt. I pulled myself back, "What is it? Is there something you want to add?" I asked perplexed.

Her eyes flashed as her features hardened, "You haven't answered my question. I'm waiting," she said crossing her arms across her chest again.

"Ahh, I apologize how very rude of me," I chuckled. Biting back my humor as I saw her face twist further in anger I answered, "I would have thought the answer was obvious. My return is solely based on my selfish desires…I want you Bella." I smiled at her.

Confusion clouded her face and she asked hesitantly, "What…how?"

"How, how what?" I asked confused myself now.

Sighing with frustration she said, "What desires Edward," shaking her head she corrected herself, "no, which desires? Your vampire desires?" she asked as her voice rose slightly.

I laughed loudly. Only Bella could confuse the two desires, her sweet innocence was a refreshing salve. Looking at her face I saw my laughter only increased her anger. I needed to reign in my joy; she was confused thinking my reaction was based on humor not absurdity. "Bella, I assure you my desire to be by your side is based solely on the need to share your life. Yes, your heartbeat and blood sing to me but those are just added benefits. The desire is more human than even I can fathom."

There was a knock on the door, a knock I knew was coming. My laughter had alerted everyone that Bella was awake. "We'll need to postpone this conversation for the time being my love. There are several people who need to see you." I said as I kissed her forehead and went to answer the door.

"Wait, I'm not ready to talk to anyone yet, I have a few more questions," she said pouting slightly.

"I'm sure you do. But the sooner we allow everyone to see you, particularly Carlisle, the sooner we will be able to discuss whatever your heart desires." I said chuckling and smiling happily.

Opening the door was like allowing a tidal wave into the room; Roxanne was the first one through the door practically throwing it open with Alice immediately behind her. Both of them went directly to Bella's side anxiously asking her if she was okay. Carlisle, Esme and Jasper followed on their heels. Jasper remained in the doorway smiling knowingly at me, while Esme went up to Bella and gave her a brief hug and kiss.

Standing at the foot of the bed Carlisle looked at Bella and said, "Well, you certainly gave us all a scare. I'm glad to see that you came back to us and it appears that you are feeling better. I do need to check you whenever you are done being smothered," he chuckled lightly.

Watching the scene unfold from the doorway with Jasper I couldn't help but smile. Bella was smiling from ear to ear as both Roxanne and Alice fussed over her. Her face was beautiful as she watched both girls tell her how happy they were she was safe and how scared they were while she was missing. She looked over at me and gave me a shy smile, a smile that melted me to the core.

"Okay, it's time for Carlisle to examine Bella you can talk to her later." I said taking charge. If I left it up to Bella or the girls we would be here for a while.

'_Edward the police were here and so was the Dean, they've taken Derrick into custody. I was able to convince them that Bella wouldn't be able to provide them with anything until tomorrow. But we do need to discuss this with her.'_ Carlisle cautioned me.

Walking to her side, I nodded slightly so as not to alert Bella, kissing her on the forehead and promising to return after Carlisle's examination. I didn't want to leave but needed to find out more about the police and the college administration's next steps.

"Promise?" she whispered.

"Wild horses couldn't keep me away." Jasper helped me to get the girls out of the room and downstairs.

We headed to the common room once downstairs and the only people around were Anne, Sam, Ian and Drake. Their faces expressed concern and not for the first time I felt the strain of being a vampire amongst humans. Even though her new friends couldn't understand it, there was a discomfort that was apparent to everyone in the room as my family members took chairs across the room from the humans.

My family's outlook was joyous due to my reconciliation and Bella's safety, but the others were despondent. Although they were happy Bella was safe, their thoughts centered around my return and the impact that had on Bella and Ian's relationship.

Knowing this would be difficult for Bella in addition to the query from the police and the college administration, I decided to express my gratitude to all of them. "Well, as you already know Bella has recovered from her black out and is feeling well. She'll most likely come down shortly so all of you can see for yourselves. Once my father is through with his examination and gives her permission that is."

Roxanne had taken Drake's hand in her own and was attempting to silently reassure him of mine and my family's positive influence on Bella. "She looks great, wait you'll see. Ian, I know she wants to thank you for saving her from that jerk."

Ian just looked at her for a moment and then his eyes returned to his lap. _'I'm not ready for that…I can't believe I'm stuck here until this is all cleared up. The last thing I need to watch is their reunion.' _He didn't sound bitter, he just sounded uncomfortable.

"Ian, I thanked you once already…but now I can thank you properly." I said walking towards him extending my hand for him to shake. "It's because of you my family and I have something to be happy about this evening. I know for a fact had you not been in that park our evening would have ended on a much more dire note."

He looked up at me and I heard his thoughts, _'I wish I didn't like him, but I do. It would be so much easier to hate him.'_ He extended his hand and said, "No thanks necessary. Bella means a lot to all of us, so we understand how you feel. _'I need to get out of here before Bella comes down.' _I don't want to be rude, but I think I'll go to my room." He stood and walked towards the door.

Drake's thoughts weren't as magnanimous, _'Who does this guy think he is, like he's the only one who cares about Bella…like we're all supposed to be taken in by his charms. Ian and Bella were doing great until he came along.'_ "Yeah, I'm gonna head up too, it's been a long night." He said glaring at me. Turning to Roxanne he said, "We'll talk tomorrow."

She sat back rather dramatically on the couch and sighed heavily after he was out of the room. "He's right, it's been a long night but something tells me tomorrow morning isn't going to be much better."

Anne looked over at her and said, "Rox don't worry about it. You know he's protective of Ian…" glancing at me she stopped in mid sentence. _'Wow, this is really uncomfortable. I'm sure he's a nice guy and Bella really did miss him, but Ian is having a tough time…this is going to challenging.'_

Sam spoke then, this was the first time I heard him say anything. "Edward, that's your name right?" he asked pausing waiting for me to concede and I nodded. "I apologize for my friends…it's unfortunate what happened tonight and it's a little odd right now. They aren't really that impolite, but I'm sure you know Ian had feelings for Bella other than just as friend. Once Bella and Ian have a chance to talk properly I'm sure it will get a little easier for everyone." He said looking over at Roxanne assuring her as well as me.

"Thanks, I do understand. She'll definitely want to talk to Ian if I know her as well as I think I do. That's just how she is," I said shrugging. "I'm sure it will all work out."

"What will work out?" I heard coming from the doorway.

My smile was immediate as I turned to see Bella and Carlisle entering the room. She managed to brighten up the darkest corners of the room just by entering it. Glancing at Carlisle as I went to her side, he silently communicated her medical status, _'Edward she's fine some minor scrapes on her knees and some bruising on her arms and shoulders, but all in all she's healthy. I am a bit concerned with her emotional state…she hasn't said a word about the incident. Even when I questioned her pointedly.' _

Glancing down at her I draped my arm over her shoulder and walked her to a chair, I said confidently…"Everything – everything will work out."

Smiling shyly at me she turned and looked around at everyone, "Don't tell me you've all been waiting here for me?"

Roxanne looked at her confused, "Bella…we just barely got rid of the police. What did you expect?"

"Police…why were the police here? What did I miss?" she asked looking around for someone to enlighten her. I felt myself tense as I looked down at her, could she really not understand why the police were here. Looking up at Carlisle his expression confirmed this was why he was concerned. Jasper's look wasn't making me feel any better as his expression conveyed his confusion.

"Bella honey, the police would like to question you on what happened tonight." Esme said. "We've managed to have them postpone the interview until tomorrow. Carlisle let them know you weren't in any shape."

Bella's face twisted in confusion, "Why would the police want to question me? I fell! People fall all the time, is it a crime now." She said giggling. "If that's the case, then I'm going to be questioned pretty often…" she let her statement trail off as she looked around at everyone's face. "What happened tonight?" she asked quietly as she realized by looking at everyone's expressions that something more serious had occurred.

"Bella, you don't need to worry about that now." Carlisle instructed. "Everyone should call it an evening and let you rest and relax." His tone was firm subtly letting everyone know not to push her.

Roxanne leaned forward and said, "Bella…what do you remember about tonight?" Anne reached over to Roxanne and touched her arm lightly, but she just shot her a glare. _'What's going on with her? I don't care what that doctor thinks…she's my best friend, she's not acting right.'_

I watched Bella's expression drift off as she reflected on the evening, a slight blush appeared on her face and I quickly spoke up. "Roxanne, Carlisle is right…Bella needs some time. We should all get some rest." I pulled Bella closer to me and kissed her hair lightly. She leaned into me as her facial expressions conveyed her confusion. She was still trying to sort out all the missing pieces in her mind.

Alice, Jasper, Carlisle and Esme stood preparing to leave. This was the time of the evening I didn't want to come…I was going to have to leave as well. I couldn't very well join Bella in her room since she shared it with Roxanne. My apprehension began to mount as I thought about that little obstacle…I didn't want Roxanne to question and push her into remembering anything before her mind was ready. I needed to make sure everyone let her come to the memories on her own.

Slowly I stood as I took Bella's hands in mine pulling her to a standing position. "Why don't you walk them to the door," I said gesturing with my head towards my family. "I'll be there in a moment." Bella looked at me concerned, whether it was her fear of my leaving or interest in why I was lagging behind, I wasn't sure. After a brief moment she sighed and led them towards the door.

Turning to the three of them, "It appears Bella has blocked this evening's events. Please don't push her, I believe that's what my father was trying to say." I told them quietly.

"But what's going to happen…she can't just go on like nothing happened, people are bound to say something. Everyone in the house knows." Roxanne whispered harshly.

"We'll need to protect her until she recalls it, if we push before she's ready she could shut down and that would be much worse. When she does remember, we'll need to be prepared to help her deal with it. Apparently it's too much for her right now." I stated firmly. Roxanne loved her, but didn't understand what could happen if she pushed. "Please Roxanne, let her deal with this in her own way." I stressed.

Glancing at Anne and Sam before looking back at me she relented, "Okay, we'll make sure everyone is careful if your dad thinks that's what's necessary." Her thoughts conveyed her concern, she didn't want to let this go but was willing to wait…for this evening at least.

Bella came walking back into the room and smiled at us innocently. "Well now that everyone has met one another…can someone please fill me in?" She asked determinedly.

Anne, Sam and Roxanne took this as their cue to leave. "Bella, it's time to call it a night. We can talk about it tomorrow…I'm bushed," Sam said leading Roxanne and Anne towards the doorway.

I began following them, but she reached out and grabbed my arm, "You aren't going anywhere. We still need to finish our conversation." She said firmly looking into my eyes.

Expecting that Bella and I would have followed, Roxanne stopped in the doorway, "Oh, you two need some time to talk. Well, don't stay up too long." _'Wow, he's got some explaining to do, looks like Bella is going to give him a piece of her mind.'_

Smiling at her I said, "We won't, don't worry. I'm sure Bella will be too tired to keep me here much longer." Bella's head turned to me quickly, she must have just thought about the complications with having a roommate, but she quickly recovered and turned to Roxanne.

"I'll be up shortly, Edward needs to explain a few things to me first." She stated resolutely letting both Roxanne and I know she wasn't letting me off the hook easily.

"Good night Roxanne." Turning to Bella and smiling, I sat down on the couch.

"Uh huh, good luck Edward." She waved good night and left.

Turning to face me Bella stood directly in front of me attempting to give me a steady glare, but I kept the smile on my face. She quickly looked away and said, "that's not fair…stop doing that."

Patting the couch next to me inviting her to sit, "What am I doing, love?" I teased.

"Cheating and you know it." She sat down next to me squeezing her eyes closed and continued, "I'm not going to look at you unless you promise you won't dazzle me. I need answers Edward and you're going to provide them…even if I have to keep my eyes closed the whole time."

Taking her hand in mine I brought it to my lips, "Whatever you want as long as you're here." I began kissing her hand while breathing in her scent. It didn't matter to me…whatever she wanted to know I would answer willingly. Her power over me was astounding. I heard her heartbeat racing as she released a low moan and smiled, this was what I missed most her reaction to my touch and kisses. "So what would you like to know?" I asked as I continued kissing her hand and wrist.

Her eyes were still closed and she didn't respond right away, "Um…I…want to…ugh that feels…" Abruptly she pulled her hand away and sat up straighter, "Stop that, you know I can't concentrate when you do that."

I chuckled, her eyes remained closed so I leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Don't you want to open your eyes Bella? I _know_ I would love to see your eyes…they were closed all evening, _please_?" I pleaded as I kissed the spot just below her ear and began trailing more kisses to her chin. As much as I started out teasing her, my actions were selfish. Now that she was sitting next to me and was aware of my presence I didn't want to miss a minute of time that could be spent luxuriating in her wonderful scent and warmth.

Pushing her shoulder against me she shifted her position again as she cleared her throat, "As much as I'm enjoying this, and believe me I am as you can probably tell by my heart…we need to talk Edward. I'm serious…please, I don't want to get swept away in your charms before I have answers."

Sitting up and folding my hands in my lap, I sighed. "Okay you're right, I'm sorry. What can I answer for you?" Even though I couldn't read her mind, I knew some of the questions she most likely had and she did deserve answers. It would be a challenge though to keep my hands to myself, there was only so much self-restraint I was capable of. Between the struggle of my 'human' desires and my other desires I would need to concentrate fully, so I prepared myself.

She sat silently for a minute or two and I felt my frustration mounting. I watched her face as she was lost in thought and tried to control my irritation at not being able to hear her thoughts.

"You said you wanted me, and the desire was not…the desire was human. What does that mean exactly?" she asked timidly while biting her lower lip. "You always said your other instincts were…that I should never forget…" she was struggling with finding the right words to remind me I was a monster.

"That I crave more than your company?" I said finishing her sentence. She glanced up at me from under her dark lashes and nodded. "In order to answer this question, I'll need to address why I left in the first place." I sighed.

Watching her expression to see if this would be a problem I saw only curiosity on her face so I continued. "Bella, my struggle to find a balance between your world and mine was another issue that conflicted me everyday we were together. But once I realized how much I loved you, there was no turning back. So I stayed…enjoying our time together, like an adolescent playing with matches. I knew that by introducing you to my world would be placing you in danger, yet childishly I believed I could control any threat that may arise. I never anticipated it coming from my own family,"

She tried to interrupt, but I put my finger to her mouth to allow me to finish.

"When that happened I knew we had crossed over into territory that was beyond my control. There were only two choices left to me, leave or continue to place your life in danger. Many months prior I had vowed I would never hurt you; my intent was to keep you from harm in spite of who I am. So I chose to hurt you in a different manner, one with which I believed you would eventually heal. If I left, you would feel the pain of loss, but you would be alive – this was something I could live with. Had something happened to you, the other hurt I spoke of, you would be dead. I was not prepared to risk that…you had to remain safe no matter what the cost to myself." I smiled slightly examining her features to see if she understood.

Her face was one of neutral curiosity, but I could see the underlying anger. Her eyes were burning with a low boiling ferocity and I knew it would come out any moment, so I continued with my explanation. "When Alice explained to me that you were here…in the same town, I was shocked."

"Wait, what do you mean 'When Alice explained…you didn't know I was here? How did you find me?" she asked clearly confused.

"Bella we did not come to Vermont to follow you, this was a coincidence, or destiny as I like to believe." I smiled broadly as her expression went to one of shock and then confusion. "I didn't know what to do, for the past year I did nothing of consequence but wallow in self pity berating myself for destroying the only thing of importance to me in all my years of existence."

"It took so much self-control during the past year to stay away, to not return and beg your forgiveness. Now here I was thousands of miles from Forks and our paths were intersecting once again. When I found out, I fought the desire to return to you Bella; I watched while you attended classes and work. My desire, my human desires – longing to hear your laughter, to hold your hand, to see you smile at me grew everyday. The strain was mounting as days passed knowing you were only a few miles down the road…"

Putting up her hand palm facing me she said, "Are you telling me you've been following me?" she asked slowly while glaring at me.

I nodded my head and waited for her response…conscious that she would be angry. I was prepared to bare her wrath; it was worth it just being in her presence.

"For how long…" she whispered as I saw her reflecting back on things.

"Several weeks now, you need to understand why though. I was prepared to leave when I found out you were here, I didn't want to torture myself any longer…but then Alice had a vision of you," I shook my head as I remembered the vision Alice had provided and recalled that Bella's memory of this evening's events were blocked.

Cautiously I continued, "her vision showed that you were in danger and I couldn't allow anything to happen to you, so I had my family watch over you…to protect you. It would have shattered me to discover that something had happened to you after I had made a vow to keep you safe."

"What did Alice see?" she asked studying my face.

"That's unimportant Bella, no harm will come to you. I promise." I reached out to pull her close but she held out her arm to keep me at a distance as she stared at the floor. My stomach clenched, I knew she would be angry but could I have come this far only to ruin it? "Bella please, my concern was for your well-being allow me to explain." I pleaded with her.

"Edward give me a moment, I'm trying to process everything you're telling me." She sat back on the couch and crossed her arms across her chest while contemplating all I had just said. I wanted to continue to explain, to make her see reason and understand my intent, but I saw the determination in her face and bit back my words.

"So basically you're telling me we wound up in the same place by accident. You didn't try to find me, it was just an odd coincidence that out of all the places you could go…we wound up in the same place." It was a rhetorical question; she didn't require a response so I sat waiting and watching her face for a sign that she had accepted my explanation.

"You had your family follow me for several weeks to ensure my safety because of a vision Alice had…a vision you are holding back on." She stood up and began pacing; she wouldn't look at me and I felt my anxiety growing.

Clearly she was angry and I needed to calm her down. Jumping up, I stopped her by placing my hands on both sides of her face forcing her to look at me. "Bella, we meant no harm, our only intent was to keep you safe. Surely even you can understand this."

Her anger flashed in her eyes, evidently I said something to trigger the fury. Pulling back slightly I was surprised by her expression.

"Yes Edward, even I…_a mere human_ can understand your motives. What I can't understand is why you have this constant need to protect me from myself. You owe me nothing, so what debt are you repaying that requires you to halt your life to look after me."

"Answer this for me Edward, this vision Alice had, did it involve mythical creatures or was it merely human factors that were endangering me this time?" she spit her words out. Her face was red but it wasn't from the beautiful blushes I savored in my memory…this was anger. I'd never seen Bella this angry before and I was shocked at her reaction…didn't she understand this was for her protection.

"It doesn't matter what the danger was Bella, the important point is we needed to protect you. The most critical issue was to ensure no harm could come to you, mythical or human." I stated trying to get her to understand how much she meant to me, to us…everyone in her life.

Her eyes were searching my face; for what, I'm not sure and then she stopped. Her face became pale and she pulled away suddenly backing up a few steps. "How long did you say you were following me?"

"A couple of weeks, just before your accident," I said innocently pointing to her cast.

Her face went red and she glared at me, "Tell me Edward…were you at the hospital?" she asked as she crossed her arms across her chest.

As much as her fury startled me, the stance she held was captivating. Even angry Bella was enticing, her beauty enhanced by the intensity of her eyes and the coloring in her cheeks. I felt my smile growing as I nodded my head. The memory of that evening clearly imprinted in my memory…the night I discovered she still dreamed of me.

She spun around putting her back to me, "Is there anything else you should be telling me?" Her voice was controlled, emotionless. My mind went blank, what was she trying to ask…there was so much I wanted to tell her. Why would she be pondering this?

Stepping up lightly behind her I placed my hands on her shoulders and felt her jump slightly, forgetting it had been a year since she had experienced my stealth. I put my face to her neck and whispered, "There are chapters of things I'd like to tell you and I intend to spend your entire life by your side providing as much information about everything you'd like to discuss." Pulling her into me I wrapped my arms around her holding her close and breathing in her aroma.

Her fingers pulled on my arms trying to unlock my hold on her. "Don't." I released my hold on her – hurt. She turned to face me, "I've been struggling for weeks trying to understand how it was that your scent was in the air…" she said quietly and then stopped mid-sentence as shock registered on her face. She brushed past me and stomped out of the room. Unable to move I listened to hear where she was headed, her footsteps stopped in the entryway.

Going to the doorway I saw what she was doing, she had approached the coat rack and was pulling coats away frantically. Realizing what her goal was, I halted…becoming distracted with protecting her I neglected the details.

She pulled my jacket from the rack and turned walking towards me slowly. "Is this yours Edward?" she asked as she held out the jacket.

I sighed and walked back into the common room preparing to face the wrath of Bella.

* * *


	39. Resolving Conflicts

**Black Out Resolving Conflicts**

**Same disclaimer as always**

* * *

BPOV

We didn't get the chance to discuss anything of importance because everyone came into the room. As much as I wanted to see them my need to talk with Edward was more important. Alice, Roxanne and Esme were very anxious and although I was pleased to see them, I was slightly confused. Why were they fussing over me; Alice and Esme sure they hadn't seen me in a year, but they kept saying how worried and scared they were, why?

When Carlisle was examining me, he kept asking questions as to where I ate tonight…who I was with, if I had any memories of the last several hours. I couldn't remember anything as much as I tried it was a blank. With all of his questioning, I began to get anxious, why was it I couldn't recall anything. I wanted to wring my hands together but couldn't due to my cast, instead I just kept rubbing the plaster as I tried unsuccessfully to recall something anything…but my mind was a blank.

Carlisle patted my hand and held it still immediately making me smile as he told me to relax and not worry about it. As much as I wanted to believe him, the thought kept nagging at me. Combined with my need to be with Edward I was getting extremely impatient. Edward's closeness always helped me relax and besides he and I needed to talk. This evening's events were just another subject to ask him about.

"Come on young lady, I think you're well enough to join everyone downstairs. The rest of your friends will be pleased to see you up and about."

As we walked into the common room I heard Edward say he was sure everything would work out.

"What will work out?" I called out from the doorway. As I looked into the room my new friends were on one side with my extended family on the other side; Edward was in the middle. He turned towards me showing the glorious smile that melted my heart each and every time he flashed it in my direction. He walked to me and put his arm over my shoulder leading me to the sectional.

I looked around at everyone thinking something was wrong, Edward's family was very happy but my friends looked a little out of sorts. Not able to be sure if it was just the discomfort caused whenever humans were in the presence of vampires, or something else I asked what they were all waiting for.

Roxanne looked at me with the most peculiar look and explained that the police had just left. What was she talking about…why on earth were the police here, what was I missing. As I looked around everyone looked shocked, like I had failed to notice an elephant in the room.

Esme finally tried to help me, "Bella honey, the police would like to question you on what happened tonight. We've managed to have them postpone the interview until tomorrow. Carlisle let them know you weren't in any shape."

Now I was even more confused. What was she talking about, the police wanted to question me…I fell. At least that's what I thought happened. What did happen? Why was everyone looking at me like I had two heads? I felt like I was missing something vitally important…and everyone was holding out on me. Well, not really holding out they appeared to be just as confused as I was. Just as the frustration was beginning to really mount Carlisle spoke up and essentially told everyone to drop it. Now I was really curious, if Carlisle wanted to protect me from my own friends something serious must have happened.

Roxanne never one to be persuaded against her wishes asked, "Bella…what do you remember about tonight?" I tried again to remember, this afternoon I was on the deck and Ian came out and kissed me…whoa, not now – this wasn't a good time to think about that. Fortunately, or maybe not because I still wanted to know what was going on, Edward stepped in and agreed with Carlisle. Just hearing his voice made my whole body relax, I leaned into him but still didn't stop trying to remember whatever it was I had done tonight.

Edward asked me to walk his family to the door as they decided to leave. He was up to something…why wouldn't he escort them to the door? I've seen this side of Edward before, this was his protective nature coming out…but things were different now. I wasn't the same person he left in the woods a year ago. I sighed and led his family to the entryway to say goodnight.

Deciding to play innocent I came back in the room and lightly requested that they fill me in. Of course my new friends wouldn't want to go against Edward's wishes – perhaps they didn't entirely understand why they felt reluctance but all the same they wouldn't tell me. At first as they shuffled out of the room I felt discouraged, I needed their support if I was going to find out what was going on. But then again, maybe if I had Edward alone he would realize he needed to tell me everything – no more secrets, full disclosure once again.

Attempting to leave I grabbed his arm, I would have none of that. It's not like he needed to sleep and I just woke up…so we would spend some time sorting things out. His behavior was still confusing, he was so happy. Why was he back, he needed to let me know what his intentions were. For all I knew at this point Victoria could be in town…no that couldn't be it. Good grief, he was going to give me answers otherwise I would continue to jump to conclusions.

Turning to look at him his smile was disarming, no this would never work. His charms would distract me and I'd never get the full truth. If I could just remain focused I stood a better chance, the key was not to look at him…"that's not fair…stop doing that."

His voice was just as captivating, as he asked "What am I doing, love?" As if he didn't know, this was going to be much more difficult than I imagined. He was really laying on the charm; I squeezed my eyes shut so I wouldn't become spacey gazing into his deep ocher eyes. Speaking as sternly as possible I told him I wanted answers.

As if on cue he took my hand and began kissing it again, he was using every resource he had. Just like before his kisses on my hand were making my head spin. I felt my breath catch as a moan escaped my lips – the feel of his icy cold lips on my hand and wrist brought all my desires to the surface. My hand was trembling – the yearning building deep within me. So much more intense than our previous encounters, his kisses were waking something inside me. I wanted to feel his tongue again, the longing making me weak.

If only his voice didn't appeal to me so much, just the wonderful dulcet tone he spoke with was enough to make me forget everything. He asked me what I wanted to know…what did I want to know? Why on earth would I want anything more than to continue having his cool hard lips pressed against my skin.

I tried to find my voice, "Um…I…want to…ugh that feels…" I felt my insides clenching from the desire…wait though I couldn't let this happen. Focus – before you get carried away again and he disappears before you have your answers. Yanking my hand away regretfully I sat up straighter, keeping my eyes closed in order to maintain my train of thought. "Stop that, you know I can't concentrate when you do that."

Hearing him chuckle and lean into me I held my breath as he whispered in my ear, "Don't you want to open your eyes Bella? I _know_ I would love to see your eyes…they were closed all evening, _please_?" His pleading always enchanted me, I couldn't resist when he requested so earnestly. Remain strong…he needed to understand how important this was to me.

Pushing my shoulder against him I shifted slightly so I wasn't touching him. Just his proximity was making my heart race, the cold feel of his body making my skin tingle. I cleared my throat, "As much as I'm enjoying this, and believe me I am as you can probably tell by my heart…we need to talk Edward. I'm serious…please, I don't want to get swept away in your charms before I have answers."

I felt him shift slightly and waited to see if he would continue with his charming ways to disarm me. Then the sigh came and I knew he was allowing me the chance to question him. "Okay you're right, I'm sorry. What can I answer for you?"

Now that I had his attention, I wasn't sure which question to ask first. With my passion burning I wasn't even sure what the point of asking questions was supposed to accomplish. Focus…where had we left off. Oh yeah, he was explaining to me about his desire, what exactly did that mean? Was he here because he wanted my blood? What could have compelled him to come look for me?

Asking the question that truthfully I wasn't sure I was ready to hear the answer to, "You said you wanted me, and the desire was not…the desire was human. What does that mean exactly?" It was best to just get this question out of the way even if I wasn't prepared, "You always said your other instincts were…that I should never forget…" Great how do I finish this without causing him more discomfort? I never thought of him as a monster, but his feelings on the subject were a different story.

Being the eternal gentleman, he let me off the hook by finishing my sentence. "That I crave more than your company? In order to answer this question, I'll need to address why I left in the first place." He sighed; maybe this was the right question after all. He had my full attention; there was no way his charms could persuade me to forget where our conversation was going now.

"Bella, my struggle to find a balance between your world and mine was another issue that conflicted me everyday we were together. But once I realized how much I loved you, there was no turning back. So I stayed…enjoying our time together, like an adolescent playing with matches. I knew that by introducing you to my world would be placing you in danger, yet childishly I believed I could control any threat that may arise. I never anticipated it coming from my own family,"

No, this wasn't right…he still felt responsible for the accident the night of my birthday. He needed to know this didn't matter, Jasper acted on his instincts…it was my fault – I was the klutz. I went to open my mouth and he put his finger on my lips quieting me. Okay, I'll let him finish, but this would be addressed when he was done.

"When that happened I knew we had crossed over into territory that was beyond my control. There were only two choices left to me, leave or continue to place your life in danger. Many months prior I had vowed I would never hurt you; my intent was to keep you from harm in spite of who I am. So I chose to hurt you in a different manner, one with which I believed you would eventually heal. If I left, you would feel the pain of loss, but you would be alive – this was something I could live with. Had something happened to you, the other hurt I spoke of, you would be dead. I was not prepared to risk that…you had to remain safe no matter what the cost to myself."

He smiled gently and I remained silent while my anger was boiling. How could he leave based on protecting me…his nature to safeguard had become a hindrance; this was way over the line. This past year was hell and he thought it was all for my own good? The feeling in my stomach was not a pleasant one as I bit back my sarcasm waiting for him to finish.

"When Alice explained to me you were here…in the same town, I was shocked."

I was beginning to get lost – I was with him up to this point. "Wait, what do you mean 'When Alice explained…you didn't know I was here? How did you find me?"

"Bella we did not come to Vermont to follow you, this was a coincidence, or destiny as I like to believe. I didn't know what to do, for the past year I did nothing of consequence but wallow in self pity berating myself for destroying the only thing of importance to me in all my years of existence."

Coincidence, this is a rather large coincidence. It couldn't be; I listened further hoping to gain some clarity.

"It took so much self-control during the past year to stay away, to not return and beg your forgiveness. Now here I was thousands of miles from Forks and our paths were intersecting once again. When I found out I fought the desire to return to you Bella, I watched while you attended classes and work. My desire, my human desires – longing to hear your laughter, to hold your hand, to see you smile at me grew everyday. The strain was mounting as days passed knowing you were only a few miles down the road…"

Now wait a minute, my anger was mounting again…I needed him to stop talking as what he just told me sunk in. "Are you telling me you've been following me?"

He just nodded his head; his features remained statue-like as his body tensed. His eyes conveyed concern though; good he knew I was angry at least. This didn't make it any better though he wasn't off the hook just yet.

"For how long…" I whispered trying to control my anger. My mind was racing as I processed everything he just said.

"Several weeks now, you need to understand why though. I was prepared to leave when I found out you were here, I didn't want to torture myself any longer…but then Alice had a vision of you, her vision showed you were in danger and I couldn't allow anything to happen to you, so I had my family watch over you…to protect you. It would have shattered me to discover something had happened to you after I had made a vow to keep you safe."

This was getting worse, the more he explained the more I fumed. "What did Alice see?"

"That's unimportant Bella, no harm will come to you. I promise."

Unimportant…unimportant he couldn't really be this cavalier. He attempted to hold me, but I was too angry, I needed to calm down, looking at him or having him hold me was definitely out of the question.

"Bella please, my concern was for your well-being allow me to explain."

I was determined to make him understand he had crossed a line. "Edward give me a moment, I'm trying to process everything you're telling me." Everything he said was registering in perfect clarity, he really believed his actions were justifiable.

"So basically you're telling me we wound up in the same place by accident. You didn't try to find me, it was just an odd coincidence that out of all the places you could go…we wound up in the same place." I paused as I swallowed back the anger.

"You had your family follow me for several weeks to ensure my safety because of a vision Alice had…a vision you are holding back on." My anger was making me restless; I had to move. Standing and pacing helped, I couldn't look at him for fear my anger would cause him to leave. That wasn't my desire…I wanted him back in my life, but I also wanted him to realize his paternal actions were driving a wedge between us.

He stopped me in mid-stride and grabbed my face in his hands, his touch still causing the same wonderful electric pulse on my cheeks. Keeping my face as calm as possible I allowed him to lift my face to his. "Bella, we meant no harm, our only intent was to keep you safe. Surely even you can understand this."

That was it, how dare he! The insinuation that I couldn't possibly fathom his actions, as if I were a child or a moron, "Yes Edward, even I…_a mere human_ can understand your motives. What I can't understand is why you have this constant need to protect me from myself. You owe me nothing, so what debt are you repaying that requires you to halt your life to look after me."

"Answer this for me Edward, this vision Alice had, did it involve mythical creatures or was it merely human factors that were endangering me this time?" My voice didn't rise, but my outburst came out in spits and starts. I could feel my face burning with the anger.

"It doesn't matter what the danger was Bella, the important point is we needed to protect you. The most critical issue was to ensure no harm could come to you, mythical or human."

He couldn't be this dense; studying his face I tried to understand how he didn't see my point. Then it hit me, like a ton of bricks…

"How long did you say you were following me?" God help him if what I thought was true.

"A couple of weeks, just before your accident," he actually sounded righteous as he pointed at my cast.

He couldn't be serious, what was he thinking? Outrage threatened to overtake me…breathing steadily I asked "Tell me Edward…were you at the hospital?" I crossed my arms so I didn't slap him, that wouldn't do any good anyway – it would only break my other hand.

His response was a smile, the smile I loved so much…but right now all it did was disappoint me. I couldn't look at him. Turning my back I closed my eyes as the tears threatened to spill. This couldn't be happening, I finally had him back and he had been playing games for weeks. "Is there anything else you should be telling me?" I asked him trying to keep my voice even.

I didn't know he was behind me until his hands were on my shoulders causing me to jump. Tensing as he whispered in my ear, "There are chapters of things I'd like to tell you and I intend to spend your entire life by your side providing as much information about everything you'd like to discuss."

No, he wasn't forgiven this easily. The risks he took protecting me from James, the fact that he left without discussing anything with me, his recent actions of following me to classes and school all came rushing forward in my thoughts. Pulling on his arms to release his hold I said calmly, "Don't." He let me go as if my words burned his skin.

Not wanting him to misinterpret my anger I turned to him, "I've been struggling for weeks trying to understand how it was your scent was in the air…" Wait, this couldn't be…no, no, no! I needed to understand just how far this "following" went. Was Ian's jacket really his, did he actually place something of his in the house to drive me crazy.

I rushed to the entryway ripping coats from the rack searching for the jacket…desperately hoping I wasn't right. He wouldn't do this would he? I found it; fortunately it was still there. Holding it out to him I asked, "Is this yours Edward?"

His answer was evident when he walked back into the common room. My hand began to shake…this wasn't the Edward I knew. Who was this man, what compelled him to play with my mind like this? All under the pretense of protecting me, when all along he was driving me to a nervous breakdown.

After taking a moment to put all the coats back on the rack, I sat on the stairs contemplating how to address this situation. I knew he wouldn't wait long, his anxiety would get the best of him and he would come to me. Sighing I got up and walked into the common room, but instead of sitting next to him I took the chair by the fireplace.

Looking over at him, his face was passive. He was waiting; suddenly I was drained. All the anger dispelled, the only emotion left was disappointment. I couldn't understand how a man his age could be so clueless. Normally he was always clear headed and mature, I was the one who acted irrationally. What happened to him over the past year to cause this change?

Closing my eyes, I sighed again and felt the burn behind my lids. Crying now would be unacceptable it would change the dynamic of our situation. It would only make Edward feel bad, it wouldn't help him understand things had changed. Yes, I am a danger magnet – that will never change but I managed to live at least 18 of my 19 years without any real danger. James and Jasper's threats aside, the non-mythical danger was inconsequential – the only real threat to my life had been Tyler's car. Aside from that I was safe, yet he treated me as if I were a porcelain doll that needed to be kept on a shelf and merely admired.

The one thing our year apart had taught me was he was right; life was something worth living. There are human experiences waiting for me to embrace and some of the joy was the rush of knowing there was a certain element of danger. If he kept me away from everything he viewed as a threat it would contradict his desire for me to experience life.

Hearing him growl caused me to glance in his direction. His face conveying his emotions, it broke my heart to see him in this state. He was in suspense waiting for me to say something.

I was torn, I wanted to rush to his arms and be cradled in the stone embrace but we needed to discuss things first. Nestling in his arms would give him the wrong impression no matter how much I wanted to have that comfort. Gripping the arm of the chair I tried to offer him a little support to ease his mind, "Sorry, I know when I'm lost in thought it drives you crazy. But this is how normal couples resolve conflict Edward." Smiling at him slightly so he understood although I was mad we would work this out. "Once again I'm glad you can't hear my thoughts, it would give you an unfair advantage."

"Bella I have no desire for any inequality to our relationship. Discussing our issues is what I would like to do, if you continue to sit there without saying anything resolutions become more distant." He came to the chair across from me sitting lightly on the edge of it, lacing his long beautiful fingers together between his knees and continued. "I'm prepared to deliberate everything with you – but we need to _voice_ our concerns. I've been waiting patiently for you to address your anger, perhaps I should start."

The tears started welling up again and I couldn't look at him, my eyes remained focused on his hands.

"I'd like to ask for your forgiveness first. Our relationship is so very confusing to me, being over a century old vampire affords me some advantages to roaming the earth, but it never quite prepared me for you. You have the ability to throw me off guard, knocking down all my pretenses and disarming me with a single smile. My actions although founded by a deep love can be somewhat immature at times."

I heard him sigh and glanced up through my lashes to find him staring at the floor. Not knowing if he would continue I waited momentarily. He sat back in the chair casually and closed his eyes. Taking the opportunity I whispered, "I know Edward. Your apology is accepted – the reason this is so difficult on both sides is because we do love one another deeply."

As I spoke I found the courage to voice my concerns without anger and hurt getting in the way. "It's important you understand my perspective on some of your actions. Because of your bull-headed desire to protect me, you reached conclusions without consulting me. This hurts me more than anything – it's just another representation of our differences. It makes me feel like you view me as nothing more than a child. Our age difference has never bothered me, but it becomes abundantly obvious when you take control of things under the premise of protecting me that you feel I'm incapable of protecting myself."

While I was talking I studied his face, his eyes opened while I was talking and the confusion was evident. The internal struggle between his desire to protect me, yet understand what I was trying to convey showed in his eyes. He was accustomed to controlling every detail in his life and that included me. His desire wasn't to control me like some men control their partners; he merely wanted to make my life safe.

In a blinding second he was on his knees in front of me holding my hands, "Bella, please understand I do not view you as a child. My conduct is based solely on preserving your safety. The decisions you say I've made without consulting you were made because of your inability to cherish what I treasure most – you."

Placing my hand on his cheek I smiled. "That's all well and good Edward. But there are two of us in this relationship and dismissing my wishes reduces my role in it."

"Didn't you hear when I told you how miserable I was? The torment was unbearable being away from you, I didn't reach the decision lightly Bella." His eyes were pleading with me to understand; he was determined to continue his obsessive protective behavior.

"I heard every word Edward, but you wouldn't have had to be miserable had we discussed the decision before you made it. We could have worked this out together instead of spending a year apart both brokenhearted. You weren't the only person who was tortured by your decision. Did you honestly believe I would recover and forget about you?" Shaking my head, this thought only made me sad, if he believed I could move on that easily then he didn't understand the depth of my love for him.

Leaning over and placing my fingers on his face I looked deeply into his eyes, "My life is nothing without you, I was a zombie for several months after you left. The only reason I carried on at all was because of my promise to you as well as my love for my parents and friends. Knowing how badly they would be hurt kept me from curling into a ball and never coming out again. Yes, I went through the motions everyday – even to the point of coming here. It didn't matter though, no matter how far away from my past I ran, you always penetrated my every thought. You need to realize Edward, as much as you love me – my love for you is just as powerful and all consuming."

Before I could even take a breath, I was on his lap carefully embraced in his arms and seated on the couch. Giggling lightly I looked into his face, "I guess this means you understand how much I love you?"

Nodding his head he kissed me on the nose. "You may have to convince me further, I just tired of the distance between us." Smiling my favorite smile my heart rate stuttered. It was still amazing how complete I felt in his arms, my heart didn't have a weight around it, I was able to breath -- that is when he wasn't kissing or dazzling me; and the dull ache inside was gone. He pulled me into his chest, tucking my head under his chin, "We are one, incomplete without the other, so our only recourse is to remain together and work through any obstacles thrown in our path."

"My thoughts exactly," I said yawning. All of this evening's discussions were taking their toll on me, my whole body felt drained. I wasn't prepared to sleep yet, but my eyes were burning and heavy – maybe if I just closed them for a moment.

* * *


	40. Fight or Flight

**BPOV Fight or Flight**

**Usual Disclaimer Here!**

* * *

BPOV

When I woke up I was alone, Edward was gone. Panic struck me like a thunderbolt and I sat up quickly discovering I was in my bed. Looking around hoping perhaps he was sitting at my desk or somewhere in the room, I saw he wasn't. I slumped back on the bed and tried to make sense of everything that had happened last night. Had I dreamt his return? Wondering what time it was, I looked over at the alarm clock on my table and noticed a note propped up blocking the display.

A smile spread across my face when I saw his beautiful handwriting, my hand shook as I grabbed the note. My fingers lightly brushed the paper where he had written my name, I sighed – happier now than I had been in over a year. Flipping open the paper, I read what he wrote,

_Love,_

_Leaving you for even a few hours is agony, unfortunately necessary due to your living arrangements. Call me after reading this; I'll be there within moments. _

_Yours forever, Edward_

My cell phone was sitting on the table beside the clock, I knew it wasn't there last night. Edward must have placed it in a convenient location ensuring it was the first thing I did after reading his note. Opening my cell it dawned on me, I had no idea what his phone number was. Looking at my phone list quickly solved that problem, aside from placing my phone on the nightstand; he also programmed his number into my cell. That was Edward always thinking of everything, he should be a Boy Scout, I thought rolling my eyes.

He answered on the first ring, "Good Morning or should I say Good Afternoon."

A smile spread across my face when I heard his wonderful voice and then after hearing his comment I glanced over at the clock, crap it was 1:00pm. My class started in one hour I had to get ready quickly. "Edward, I have class today at two, I'm sorry but our separation needs to be a bit longer."

"I know. If you hadn't called within 5 minutes I was prepared to call you." Once again he knew just what to say – no wonder I loved this man.

"Where are you?" I asked quietly and then bit on my lower lip. Just hearing his voice on the phone made me tingle with joy. The thought of heading to class without seeing him again left me feeling disappointed.

Chuckling lightly he replied, "Bella, I'm just as pitiable as you. I'm outside your house waiting in my car. Get ready…I'll be here, we'll get you to class with time to spare, that is if you hurry."

Jumping up I smiled as I ran to the bedroom door, "Well, why don't you come to the door, you could at least come inside and wait." My goal was obvious, to see him as quickly as possible. I'd spent too long opening my eyes and not seeing his glorious face as the first vision of the day. If my new living arrangements prevented this, then I'd have to find a way to somehow address that. Right now, my only thought was to get to the front door and wrap myself in his arms.

Just as I reached the front entry way I heard a light knock. My heart did its own little knock in return as I yanked the door open. There he was in all his glory, I felt instead of heard my own breath escape. His hair was tousled in the casual style that framed his face perfectly and the smile on his face was turned up in the crooked manner that always made my knees weak. I was so busy staring into his face, I hadn't said a word – I stood there with my hand on the door gaping like a fool.

"Are you going to let him in, or have you decided the outdoors could use a little more heat – like the heat we pay for?" Roxanne called out sarcastically. She managed to break the spell that bound me.

Turning to her and grinning broadly, "Do you mind, I was admiring the scene." Stepping aside to allow him entry I looked up into his eyes and managed to say breathily, "Hi." He lightly touched my cheek as his eyes roamed my face quickly. "Beautiful" was his only response, I wasn't sure if he was stating it as a greeting or remarking on whatever he saw when he looked at me. Either way…it excited me. The feel of his fingers touching my cheek as he said the word sent tingles throughout my body. It was fortunate I was holding onto the door, otherwise my knees would have given way.

"Roxanne, would you do me a favor and entertain Edward while I get ready for class?" Even though I was talking to Rox, my eyes never wavered from looking at Edward. My excitement at having him back in my life was overwhelming and I didn't want to stop looking at him for fear he'd vanish like a puff of smoke.

"Sure, but why don't you close the door?" She laughed as she walked over and closed it, pushing it out of my reach. "Jeez Bella, you act like you haven't seen a gorgeous guy before?" She pushed Edward towards the kitchen and said over her shoulder, "Edward and I will just get to know each other over a cup of coffee."

Still smiling, I put one foot on the step and realized Roxanne would probably offer him coffee or something to eat. Quickly making my way into the kitchen, I pushed open the door and nearly fell into the room. They were seated at the table as casual as two people who barely know one another can be…I looked at the two of them and judging by the look on their faces I must have been a sight.

"Is something wrong? You look worried." Roxanne asked concerned.

"Um no, nothing's wrong. I was just wondering what you two were doing that's all." Trying to make my voice sound casual, all while scanning the kitchen table for two cups or any sign of Roxanne being a hostess. She could be so persistent at times and I know she would push until he was forced to accept something, otherwise she would begin wondering why Edward wouldn't want something to eat or drink. It was just her nature.

"Bella, we're fine. Now why don't you get ready for class or you'll be late." Edward said smiling slightly.

"Oh, okay…if you're sure I guess – I'll just go get ready." I turned and started towards the door when I heard Roxanne say, "You need to reassure the girl you aren't going anywhere. She's in a state wondering whether or not you're staying."

Sighing I climbed the stairs and realized my worries were silly. Edward could easily decline a cup of coffee, how many times had he been at Charlie's and never ate or drank. I was going to have to calm down and get used to my new friends becoming acquainted with Edward and most likely Alice as well.

Pulling out some clothes and getting everything ready, I headed into the shower. This was one shower I really needed; perhaps the water would help me relax. As I took off my pajamas I noticed some bruises on my forearm…huh, that was strange I wonder how that happened. Climbing into the shower carefully I let the water flow over my head completely soaking me and thought about everything Edward and I had discussed last night. Our conversation was still not over, there was plenty more I wanted him to understand so that we shared a healthy relationship. Healthy – now that was an unusual choice of words considering…I smiled to myself.

It felt good to be this happy. As I soaped up I noticed there were more bruises on my shoulders…they were pretty prominent and almost looked like hands. Pressing on them lightly they were a bit sore but that wasn't what bothered me…what bothered me was the shape and why I couldn't recall how the bruises got there. As I stood there letting the water run, I thought about it. Where did, oh...

I started trembling as flashes of Derrick's face came to my mind; he was so angry and screaming at me as he held my shoulders to the ground. My mind was racing as the images came to me – they weren't coming in any specific order. We were eating pizza one minute and then I was running for my life, next we were sitting in the common room and then I saw Ian punching him. I closed my eyes as the trembling became violent and reaching out to steady myself grabbed onto the shower curtain. It was painful to breath; it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. As if in slow motion, I felt myself falling and the shower curtain came down on top of me as the water cascaded over me. The trembling was more like shuddering now and I was freezing even though the water was warm, but the images didn't stop.

As if from a distance, I heard a faint knocking and people talking, but couldn't make any sense of it. It was as if the only thing I could see were the silent scenes playing in my head; my hearing was muffled from any sounds by a noise that resembled a rush of wind combined with the roar of an engine. I grasped the shower curtain as if it were a life vest pulling it around me as I quaked from tremors jerking my legs up to my chest. My head was rolling on my shoulders as everything in the room took on a surreal look, my breathing was very labored and it felt like I was falling into a tunnel.

Then I saw Roxanne's face in mine, it looked like she was screaming at me but I couldn't hear a thing. I felt the shower curtain being pulled from me and saw a towel being wrapped around me. Roxanne's mouth was still moving, I closed my eyes to clear the sharpness of the images from my vision. Everything was so crisp and bright it hurt my eyes. The next thing strong arms were wrapping around me and I was lifted from the tub, I knew we were moving, but I squeezed my eyes shut tighter knowing the sudden movement would only make me nauseous. There was no sound now, not even the howling noise from moments ago.

I was placed on my bed and wrapped up in blankets; cold hands on my face brushed back my wet hair. Slowly opening my eyes I saw his face, the emotions were clearly written on his face – his eyes were black with worry and his normally smooth forehead was marred by wrinkles of concern. My love was troubled, I needed to ease his mind…reaching my hand out from under the blankets I touched his face lightly with my fingers. The trembling had subsided to light shaking, his mouth moved but still I couldn't hear. How I wanted to hear his voice, the velvety softness of it, the smoothness could wrap around me and keep me safe…if only I could hear it.

He leaned his face closer to mine so that our foreheads were nearly touching. I watched as his eyes slowly turned from a deep black to a dark rum color, he was relaxing somewhat. Shifting his head slightly he put his cheek against mine gently and began kissing me with feathery lightness. Slowly as if coming out from under water I heard a distance sound, it sounded faintly familiar. Cocking my head slightly to listen more attentively, it started gaining more volume, soon I was able to hear what it was – my lullaby, Edward was humming the lullaby he had written for me.

Opening my mouth to get his attention, nothing came out…clearing my throat slightly the only thing I could manage was a croak, "Edward…" He lifted his head so it was only inches away from mine and stared into my eyes. Knowing he heard even though it was just a whisper, I stared back at him moving my head just a bit and tried again. "I…" my throat was dry and the word came out as a growl. Clutching my throat I swallowed and attempted to clear it, "water" I wheezed.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Roxanne dart away, he remained statue-like still looking deeply into my eyes, searching for something. She was back and handed him the glass, which he took without shifting his gaze from mine. Reaching his hands around and propping me up slightly, he held the glass to my lips. My hand grasped his as I slowly took a sip wetting my lips and feeling the cool water soothe my throat.

Leaning back, I cleared my throat again and felt the invisible blockage shift. Licking my lips, I tried to speak again…"Derrick…" was the only thing I managed to get out. Edward just nodded, his eyes -- a warm butterscotch color now, still showed his anxiety. Gulping back some air and shivering slightly I asked, "Where?"

"You're safe, he's been taken away. He'll never come near you again," he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Looking at me again he asked, "What do you remember?"

The shaking started again and I shook my head, "No, I can't…" I said as my breathing started escalating again.

"Shhh, it's fine. You're safe." He murmured pulling me to him, holding tightly. "It's fine, you don't have to tell us anything. Relax, love…I'm here. Nothing's going to hurt you." He said holding me close rocking as I tried to gain control of my breathing and pushed back the tears that threatened to escape.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I kept repeating.

Hearing Roxanne anxiously ask him if she should call Carlisle, I blurted out before he had a chance to answer, "NO, I don't want him here." Edward continued holding me and began singing my lullaby, but I pushed away from him. "Edward, please I don't want Carlisle, I don't want to sleep. What I'd really like right now is a moment to get dressed and then…well…I don't know after that." I looked at him pleadingly hoping that he understood…it was imperative to me that he of all people understood.

He looked at me, his eyes searching mine – most likely wishing once again he could hear my thoughts. Nodding his head in agreement, he kissed me on the forehead and said, "I'll be right downstairs. He hesitated before pulling back and cautioned me, "Don't take too long."

"Thank you, I won't." I whispered in return. My voice still rough like sandpaper had scratched at my throat, my heart was still beating like a jackhammer, but the shaking had subsided.

When he left, Roxanne turned to me and said, "Hey, let's get you dressed. Would you like me to do something with your hair?"

Sitting in the bed with the towel wrapped around me, I shook my head no. Slowly removing the blankets covering my legs, I went to stand and nearly fell. Roxanne reached out helping to keep me upright and when I looked, her expression was troubled. "I'm fine, really. My legs were just a little weak." I told her firmly while abruptly removing her hold on me, I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom closing the door behind me.

When I removed the towel, and turned towards the mirror staring at the bruises on my shoulders, I lightly touched them while looking intently at the reflection. Once again the images of the evening before came back but this time I was prepared and quickly gripped the sink. As the images swam through my mind, they were less disconnected and the flow of the evening was in order.

Sitting on the edge of the tub I recalled the conversation with Derrick in the common room and during dinner. It had been easy to be with him, it wasn't until the walk back home that he became agitated. As my mind reached the moments just before his aggressive attack began I shuddered and pushed it back. Edward would come break down the door soon if I didn't get dressed.

With one last look at the bruises I threw on a bell sleeved fleece shirt and a pair of sweats. One last glance in the mirror confirmed why Roxanne and Edward were both concerned; my face gave the appearance of someone who had seen a ghost…blanched. Attempting to pull my hair back in a ponytail, I quickly changed my mind, it only enhanced the hollow glint in my eyes and there were dark circles under them that nearly matched Edwards.

Sighing I opened the door and glanced around the room, apparently Roxanne decided to join Edward downstairs. I hadn't meant to be so harsh with her, but honestly I was getting a bit tired of being a victim. Yes, this recent episode was frightening, but I wasn't frail and helpless. Everything I had been through during the past year had built a tougher shell around me. Edward and everyone else around me needed to understand I wasn't as delicate as they believed.

When I entered the kitchen, Roxanne, Anne, Sam and Edward were sitting around the table. It was odd they were all there, considering three of them had classes – the only one who didn't have any pressing matters as far as I knew was Edward. "Hey." I said sitting directly across from Edward as I joined them at the table. My purpose in keeping my distance from him was two fold, the ability to see his face clearly and to keep all of my thoughts in tact, if I was close to him my thoughts would stray. As I expected, he was a bit surprised by my actions, his facial expression showed hurt only momentarily – not even long enough for anyone else to catch it.

Anne was the first to speak, "Bella, can I get you anything – something to eat or drink?"

"No, not right now. Thanks though." I glanced around at everyone and then put my hands on the table clasping my fingers together. "I'm sorry everyone's lives have been disrupted – so when do the police want to question me?" The question was meant for Edward, but I figured by asking everyone someone would be bound to answer. Edward would most likely brush it off and call Carlisle to get the police to give me more time.

I was slightly shocked when Roxanne answered my question, "Bella, you don't need to talk to them yet. This can wait for you to be ready…he's not going anywhere so don't rush anything."

Looking up quickly my eyes glared at her, "What do you mean this can wait…Derrick is being held in police custody. Waiting until I'm ready to deal with it is not fair to him. How would you like being held in jail, everyone you know turned against you…miles away from home? No Roxanne the last thing to do is to wait. This needs to be addressed and the sooner the better." I didn't know where my anger was coming from I was so angry as my words were coming out the volume of my voice increased exponentially.

Everyone at the table was staring at me, Edward included – I guess I wasn't the only one who didn't understand my anger. Feeling a blush sweep up my face from my toes, I looked back down and apologized.

Reaching over and touching my fingers lightly Edward said, "Bella, you shouldn't worry about Derrick's situation. He caused his own problems, you were an unfortunate victim and if you need time to sort through things – then that's what you should do."

As I glanced up at him I felt embarrassment and anger rushing through me and took a deep breath to control my emotions from escaping. He didn't deserve any poison that may come out of my mouth due to my irrational conduct. Closing my eyes, "Edward, I don't want to be considered a victim, I just want this all to be over so things can go back to normal." I grimaced slightly as the words I just spoke resounded in the air – normal well as normal as having a vampire in your life can be.

As I saw the acknowledgement in his eyes I felt the courage to continue. "Look, I need to do this, both for his sake and my own." Looking around at Rox, Anne and Sam, "And yours, I'm sure you'd rather be at school than sitting here babysitting me."

"Bella, classes are important, but you're more important. Missing a couple of classes because of what happened to you is inconsequential considering…" Sam said looking at me seriously. "We feel responsible, you told us weeks ago what happened and didn't do anything about it. Our responsibility was to report that incident and we didn't…so we have a role in this too. But it's not just that Bella, you are important to us. We love you and making sure you're safe is important to us." As he spoke both Anne and Roxanne were nodding their heads in agreement – Edward was beaming.

Sighing and looking around at them, "Thanks, I love all of you too, but guys…my safety is not your concern." Edward went to say something but stopped when he saw me glare at him. "Please understand, I'm not saying you shouldn't care or help when I ask – but you shouldn't put your lives on hold to make my problems your priority. I'm guessing here but I'd bet all of you probably made statements already." Looking around at all of them questioning them with my expression, they all looked down at their hands. Just as I thought they weren't here because of any police activity they were here for me.

Placing my hands on the table I pushed back the chair and began to stand while saying, "Well, I guess it's time to go the station and give the police my version of the story."

"They have agreed to come here, we just have to call and they'll come to you Bella." Edward said as he stood to follow me.

"That's okay, I want to go to them. I'd like a chance to see Derrick anyway."

"WHAT? NO YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT GOING TO SEE HIM!" Edward roared. Cringing at first from the sheer volume, I turned to him anger mounting inside me. He was just as outraged, his hands were balled into fists at his side and his eyes were pitch black. My eyes went from him to everyone seated at the table, Roxanne's mouth was open in shock, Anne was staring down at the table in embarrassment and Sam was getting ready to stand. This only fueled my irritation, when I looked back at Edward for a second hoping he had gained some control – but that wasn't to be, his face was a mask of indignation as he stood glaring at me.

Clearing my throat, "If you'll excuse us, Edward and I need to discuss a few things." I walked out of the kitchen and headed for the deck outside. Any place else in the house would allow them to overhear our conversation, I knew they would provide the privacy we needed, but they didn't need to be tempted to listen.

Before I could turn to close the sliding glass door, Edward blew past me and turned to me, "What are you thinking Bella, there's no way I'm allowing this. You cannot go visit that boy, he's sick and almost killed you last night." He was standing over me as he was saying this and perhaps could tell by my face I wasn't swaying in my decision because he turned away and began pacing.

"I'm serious Bella, you have no idea what the boy is capable of, I'm the one who saw what he could have done had Ian not been there. Alice's vision would have come true – he is not sane when it comes to you. What could you possibly have to say to him?" He was still quite angry but his concern now overtook some of the rage. He had stopped pacing momentarily, his body rigid with the effort it took him to remain calm – as calm as he could be considering how incensed he was at the moment.

Waiting momentarily to see if he was finished, trying desperately to keep this from getting out of control, I stated calmly, "Edward, this is exactly what I was talking about last night. I need to be allowed the freedom to make decisions that affect me – I certainly wouldn't tell you what you can and cannot do. If there is something that will impact both our lives then I would include you in the decision making process, but this is something I must do for myself. As my partner you should stand beside me and support me in my decision." I stood my ground waiting calmly for him to respond. He began pacing again glancing at me occasionally with a look of contempt.

He stopped and took a deep breath, "Bella, I agree that sometimes when it comes to you I overreact, but not this time. You have my word we will make decisions together in the future, but only when you act rationally – this decision is not very prudent. You have just experienced a panic attack and are not thinking clearly, give me the courtesy of being able to recognize when you are misjudging people. I do have an inside track on these things." He finished pointing at his temple.

Sighing I sat down on one of the chairs and looked down at my hands, "Okay Edward, you're right – perhaps you have a better idea of what Derrick is thinking, I'll give you that. But you don't have the right to order me around and tell me whom I can and cannot see. You can disagree with me; that's acceptable and we can discuss it and reach a decision together." I looked up at him stubbornness was etched in his facial expression, but I wasn't going to back down.

"I'm upset right now because you aren't treating me like an adult. You're upset because you think I'm making a bad decision. Whose issue do you think is bigger Edward?" I gazed at him questioningly…please let him understand or this was going to be a struggle every time he didn't agree with me.

His stony look caved, he came to me took my hand, "My intentions are meant to keep you out of harms way, that is all. I understand what you are trying to say Bella, but you must see my point of view. I cannot exist without you, the very thought tears me apart. Think about what you are asking of me, please." He implored.

Shaking my head I tried to make him see I wasn't the one who was being irrational. "I am but when it comes to my safety you think everything is going to harm me. I'll be in a police station Edward, what could possibly happen?" I queried daring him to come up with something even remotely possible that could happen.

Putting his forehead on my knees, he growled. I stroked his hair and put my head down to his ear and whispered, "You are coming with me aren't you?" His body relaxed somewhat and I knew I had succeeded. I couldn't help but smile it wasn't often I won my disputes with Edward…with his dazzling as well as his other vampire abilities he always had the upper hand.

"This isn't funny Bella," he said without lifting his head. "I'm not pleased and there will be some restrictions. You _will_ be placed in a room with the door open so there is an easy access should he attempt anything and I _will_ be able to hear all of his thoughts." He watched my face waiting to see if I would disagree, I just nodded my head pleased we could come to an agreement. This was an enormous step towards us working together as a couple. "Now go get ready before I change my mind." He said helping me to my feet.

When I was standing, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him quickly. He smiled back at me and declared, "You have me wrapped around your little finger, I can't deny you anything – and most likely never will. Now go." He said gently pushing me towards the door.

Running inside I nearly tripped over the door frame but he caught me as usual, giggling I continued running towards the stairs. I was in high spirits when I entered my room; Roxanne was sitting on the bed cross-legged with a book in her lap. She looked at me warily as I crossed the room to grab a pair of jeans, practically skipping. "So I guess you two worked things out?" she asked apprehensively.

"Of course, Edward and I are too important to each other to let anything get in the way" I said with confidence. While slipping my jeans on I smiled at her, but her face stopped me short. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked cautiously.

"It's nothing, I'm just wondering…well he seems a bit predatory." She asked hesitantly. "Sorry Bella but the way he was in the kitchen, it was…"

I cut her off sitting on her bed, "No, wait I know what you think. That's not the side of Edward that you should judge him by, he's still learning how to…" nope not the right choice of words, she didn't notice though she was just staring at me waiting for me to continue. "He's very protective of me, it's because of my klutziness. That's how it began, now every time something even remotely looks like it could cause potential harm he overreacts. Believe me Rox, he's working on it – with my help." I had her hand in mine now; I wanted her to know the Edward I knew. Perhaps if she could spend some time with him, she'd see him the way I did.

She didn't look convinced but she conceded, "Okay, if you say so. But Bella, don't let that attitude of his get out of control. Its kind of...I don't know, antiquated – normal guys don't act like that. Just be careful, there are warning bells going off in my head, I can't help it. But you're a big girl and entitled to make your own decisions no matter what I think." She said raising her eyebrow letting her face convey her underlying message.

"I hear you and I even hear what you aren't saying. We'll be fine." Standing I went to leave but she stopped me by grabbing my hand.

"What are you going to say to him – Derrick, I mean?"

Looking at her I realized, I had no idea what I would say, it just felt right that I make the attempt. Something about the time I spent with him prior to the attack made me want to find out what made him snap. He seemed so normal, something was wrong and I wanted to find out what. Shrugging my shoulders I said, "I guess I'll figure that out when I see him."

"Aren't you nervous, I mean he did attack you?" She asked really concerned but curious all the same.

"He doesn't scare me Rox. I don't know why, he just doesn't." Thinking for a moment maybe it was because vampires had hunted me; I hung out with werewolves and loved a vampire that a human boy didn't hold the same threat it did to others in my situation.

When I came downstairs Edward was waiting in the hallway with my poncho held out for me. He looked pretty confident for someone who had reservations on where we were headed moments ago. As I pulled the poncho over my head, I looked at him curiously – his return smile was halting. At least for me that is. Shaking my head to clear the daze that was settling in, I reached for the door but he already held it open.

Turning before walking down the steps I asked, "So why the change of attitude? I expected you to be a little more uncooperative."

Shrugging he smiled confidently, "I thought this is what you wanted, my acceptance of your decision?"

Watching him warily, I frowned…he was too confident. "Yes, it is." I said cautiously.

He took my hand and said, "Good, then shall we?" he said gesturing towards his car.

His Volvo was right across the street; I smiled as I gazed at it – it held so many good memories. He must have arrived pretty early to get that parking spot on this street. After letting me in the passenger side, he glided into his seat…it still startled me how quick he moved sometimes.

There were so many things I would have to get used to again. It was hard to believe he was back in my life much less that he had only been back less than 24 hours – it seemed so much longer in some ways. He had a way of making time insignificant; the hours we were together flew by. We hadn't even spent one full year together yet I couldn't recall what life was like before him, shuddering slightly I didn't want to think about what my life would have been like had he not returned.

"Penny for your thoughts" he said smiling at me as the buildings flew by as we drove. I was going to have to get used to his driving all over again. He always went too fast and never kept his eyes on the road, but now we were in a city not on the barren streets around Forks.

"Right now I was just thinking I wish you drove a bit more carefully." I said grabbing the edge of the seat with my good hand.

Laughing lightly, "When will you learn Bella…you're safer with me driving than anyone else? _I_ don't take risks when it comes to you." Noticing the emphasis he put on the word I stared out the window pretending he wasn't referring to me…or anyone else in my life for that matter.

He parked the car in the police car lot and walked around at a human pace to my side of the car. When I got out I saw clearly why he intentionally walked slow, there were cameras mounted on the building to monitor the parking lot. All of a sudden the seriousness of the situation hit me, what was I thinking coming here.

All the courage I used in speaking to Roxanne and even Edward drained away seemingly leaving my body from my head and exiting through my toes…slowly. I was frozen standing there in fear. Edward came to my side, held my face in his hands and stared deeply into my eyes. "Do you want to leave?" He must have sensed the fear, his eyes were questioning. I knew at that moment if I said yes, he would have taken me home quietly and never said another word about it. But this needed to be done, if I was ever to heal properly and get past this – never to have it haunt me, I would need to confront this fear.

Jutting my chin out in false bravado I said, "No, let's go. This ends tonight!"

* * *


	41. Interview Without a Vampire

**Interview without a vampire**

**Same Disclaimer.**

* * *

BPOV

He held my hand as we walked up the steps to the police station; I took a deep breath as he opened the door. Growing up with a father as a policeman made me accustomed to entering a building like this, but coming to this particular police station everything was different. As soon as Edward opened the door some of the scents I was accustomed to hit me, but this was a city police station and had much more activity and offending odors. I wanted to gasp and hold my hand over my mouth and nose; instead I just scrunched my nose in distaste. Edward sensing my reaction leaned down to my ear and whispered relax.

Upon entering there was a large counter in the first third of the large room with benches lining the outer perimeter. Several people were sitting on the benches while others were leaning against the walls. Beyond the counter were several desks; a few unoccupied at the moment but most were manned with men and women either on the phones or working at computers. Edward led me smoothly to the counter, because of his height it was easier for him to speak to the policeman behind it. The counter came to my shoulders making the policeman seem much taller than he probably was, I knew this was a psychological advantage for the police and it was working.

"Good Evening, we'd like to speak with Detective Hammond please." Edward said in his hypnotic voice.

"Sure, are you here regarding a case?" the cop behind the counter inquired.

"Yes, Bella Swan's case." He replied looking down at me and smiled briefly. The smile didn't quite disguise the apprehension in his eyes. The look on his face unnerved me, I wanted to run out the door and never return. Taking a deep breath to calm my nerves I attempted to smile in acknowledgement but I was sure it came out more like a scowl.

The policeman looked at me for a moment, "I'll get him, it'll be just a moment. Why don't you wait over there?" He said gesturing across the room.

Nodding Edward put his hand on my lower back to guide me to the benches. I didn't want to sit; the urge to bolt kept running through my mind, just apologize to everyone go home spend the evening quietly tucked in Edward's arms. What was I thinking coming here; everyone was right I should have let the police come to the house to take my statement. Besides the thought of confronting Derrick didn't seem very bright just about now. My breaths were coming in short bursts and Edward left his hand on my back rubbing small soothing circles as I sat stiffly on the edge of the bench. I tried not to pay attention to the other people around me, some of them looked pretty out there – dazed, angry, frustrated, Jasper would probably have a very tough time here. Now I joined their ranks.

"Bella, you have no reason to be this upset. I know this will be hard on you but you haven't done anything wrong. Your purpose here is to tell the police what happened to you as you remember it, that's all. We can leave after that if you wish." He prompted softly.

Drawing in a deep breath again I shook my head. As usual my stubbornness was winning out, once the decision was made there was no turning back. Trying to relax I looked around at the signs and posters on the walls, Safety First…Click it or Ticket, Don't Give Burglars an Outside Chance, Keep A Friend Alive, and the one that sent chills up my back They're Not Always Strangers. This poster depicted a couple at a party laughing and having a good time but the statement was clear…date rape. Tearing my eyes away from the poster and focusing on the counter I gulped back the saliva building in my mouth.

Something from my peripheral vision caught my attention; I turned to see Ian walking with another man I'd never seen before from a corridor to the left of the counter. Puzzled at first I just stared and then realized with a sense of dread he was here to give his statement. He hadn't noticed us yet, but Edward stood just then and his eyes automatically turned in our direction.

My first instinct was to rush to him as I stood, but I was pretty sure his body stiffened as the realization struck him that both Edward and I were here. It stopped me from going any further; of course he'd have this reaction. Our last encounter was of him holding me, protecting me…not even aware there was an Edward. In one irrevocable moment his world had changed as much as mine.

Watching as the man next to him reclaimed his attention extending his hand to shake, I realized this was probably Detective Hammond. Ian grasped his hand and they continued walking towards the open area where we were standing. Lightly touching my elbow Edward guided me towards them; my feet were dragging with slow intensity. The hesitation conflicting – I wasn't sure if it was the discomfort of Ian's presence or the upcoming statement I was about to provide.

Detective Hammond glanced at Edward and then quickly turned his gaze to me, a woeful look on his face. He was a burly man about five foot eleven with a face like a Saint Bernard, eyes pulled down in a droopy sort of manner and jowls that gave the appearance of too much skin for his face. He was balding and pale, but his eyes held compassion, like he'd seen too much misery on the job. "Edward, I didn't know you were here. You must be Bella Swan," he said extending his hand for me to shake.

Timidly I held out my hand and felt his large beefy hand grasp my tiny sweating one, he didn't release it quickly instead he reached out his other hand and wrapped mine in both of his. "Thank you for coming in Bella, I would have come to Bader if you would have preferred." He said smiling gently and in that moment I felt comforted by his presence.

"It's fine, I really just want to get this over with." I replied looking down at the floor. I was relieved he was so kind, but the uneasiness I felt with both Edward and Ian standing within two feet of one another was making me a bit anxious. Awkward was a word that didn't nearly describe the feeling right now. Once he let go of my hand, I quickly put it into my pocket so Edward wouldn't take it.

"Well," Detective Hammond said turning to Ian, "thank you for coming in, you can go visit with your family now, we have your cell number and if the need arises we'll call. But it's pretty cut and dry and I'm sure if there are any questions we can wait until you return," he finished clapping Ian on the shoulder. "Bella, if you'll follow me…we'll take your statement." He half turned back towards the corridor they had just come from and gestured with his hand for me to lead the way.

Hesitating slightly, "Um, uh…just a moment." Looking at Ian I gulped, his face expressed so much hurt I didn't know if I'd be able to ask the question. "Ian, is it possible to wait before you head home…I'd like to talk with you?"

Watching, he tensed slightly and looked from Edward to me and then down at the floor. At first I didn't think he was going to answer so I rushed to say what I really needed him to hear. "I'd like the oppor…"

As I began uttering my words, he started speaking at the same time, "Bella, it's really not…" Realizing we were talking at the same time we stopped to let the other finish, then smiled at one another – this was awkward. He sighed, "Sure, no problem. I'll meet you back at the house," he grinned slightly but I could see the hurt was still there just waiting behind his beautiful green eyes. Looking at Edward swiftly he walked past us towards the door. Edward never moved, not one muscle or twitch could be detected while we spoke.

Detective Hammond broke the stifling silence, "Shall we?"

I began walking forward and realized Edward wasn't walking beside me, turning back to him, "Wait, aren't you coming?" and then to Detective Hammond I said, "Isn't he coming?"

Edward shook his head no slightly as Detective Hammond explained, "Sorry Bella, we'll need to question you alone. It's the process, it won't take too long." He placed his big hand on my shoulder to turn me back to the corridor but I didn't move. Stubbornly I held my ground, this wasn't how I pictured it…my mind had him sitting right next to me when I told my version of the events.

"No, I want him there. He needs to be there. I can't do this without him." My voice started rising in octaves as each sentence came out…my breathing started coming in quick bursts. Edward rushed to my side and held me to him, his chin on my head. The feel of his arms around me worked magic in calming the anxiety.

When my breathing returned to normal seconds later, he pulled back slightly and bent to look into my eyes, "You can do this Bella, you know you can." I began shaking my head no and he reached up to carefully hold my chin, "Remember you're the one who convinced me you were ready. I'm here to support you in your decision." His eyes were penetrating and I became lost in the depths of their beauty. His breath blew in my face and I forgot where I was at the moment.

A voice came from behind pulling me from the daze. "If you'd like, Edward can remain outside the room while we wrap this up."

Edward clasped his arm around my shoulder to guide me forward as Detective Hammond followed – leading me to unfamiliar territory. I felt better knowing Edward would be near but still felt wound tighter than a drum.

Distracting myself as we walked the hall, I gazed at the walls and saw more posters for citizen safety. It didn't seem right that the posters were hanging in this corridor, if citizens were walking this passageway, safety would be the least of their concerns. Upon further inspection it appeared they were hung for the sake of covering the grungy yellowing paint job – perhaps to lighten the tension when walking to their destination. The fluorescent lights and linoleum made me feel like the walls were closing in around me…I decided to stare straight ahead and take deep calming breaths. Edward's arm tightened on my shoulder offering as much reassurance as possible.

"The door on your left, right in there. Edward, let me get you a chair. Bella is there anything you need, water…coffee…tea perhaps?"

He was extending as much hospitality as possible given the circumstances, trying to alleviate some of the stress I was feeling. "No thanks." I said shyly peeking into the room from the doorway – hesitant to go any further. There was a metal table and four chairs with red vinyl seat cushions in the room. The walls were painted a gray color making it appear that much more industrial. In the corner a video camera was mounted from the ceiling pointing towards the chairs that faced the door. My hands began sweating as I thought about everything I would need to relive in this room.

"Go ahead…have a seat. I'll be right in once I get Edward settled." He said as he turned back down the hall from where we just came.

Glancing at Edward hesitantly when the detective left, he smiled unconvincingly at me. "It's okay, Bella I'll be right here." I still hadn't moved from the doorway, I was tempted to grab on the doorframe with both hands to keep from entering – making them pry each finger away before giving in willingly.

Sighing I walked into the room and looked around, I didn't want to touch anything for fear it would contaminate me somehow – making this forever a part of me that no amount of showering would ever wash away.

Hearing the detective coming back down the hall, I pulled out a chair reluctantly with my fingertips. It slid easily on the floor allowing me the least amount of resistance so I could squeeze between the table and chair. Sitting only on the edge of the chair I placed my hands on the table folded directly in front of me. The process was foreign to me; I had seen plenty of television shows depicting this very scene but never had the misfortune to be in this position. Hopefully this would be the first and the last time I'd have to do this.

Detective Hammond came into the room and smiled gently as he closed the door. "Okay Bella," he said as he pulled out the chair across from me, "let me explain the process to you and then we'll begin." Pulling a tape recorder out from his pocket placing it in the center of the table he explained, "The camera in the corner is recording this as well as this recorder on the table. You are here to provide us with your statement of the events that happened last evening. Just tell me in your own words whatever you can."

He pressed the record button on the tape recorder, stating the date, time and my name. Then he looked at me expectantly, "It's my understanding that you don't recall anything, is this correct?" I shook my head silently. "I'm sorry Bella, but you'll need to speak out loud in order for this to be recorded properly." It was so quiet in the room for a moment I could hear the tape as it continued winding – recording this moment for who knew how many people to hear.

Leaning back in his chair he sighed softly as I opened my mouth, "Um…no I remembered everything this afternoon." My voice was rough, gravelly even. I cleared my throat hoping it would help to bring my voice back to normal.

"Good, that will be helpful in your case. Why don't you tell me everything from the moment Mr. Sanders saw you yesterday." He sat forward clumsily and placed his forearms on the table.

"Well, I think it was about four-thirty Ian and I had just finished cleaning up the common room in the house. I was waiting for my friend Roxanne to come home; she was bringing my class assignment because I hadn't gone to school. My arm was bothering me so I decided to take the day off and rest." I stroked the cast lightly as I remembered that afternoon. "He came into the common room just as I was headed upstairs to get something to read." I stopped not knowing if I should continue or wait for him to question me.

Nodding his head and smiling he said, "Good go on, if I have any questions I'll ask…otherwise just tell me what happened."

"Derrick asked if I was coming back down and I told him yes. I went upstairs grabbed a book and went back down…we sat there reading across the room from one another for awhile until my train of thought became distracted." I blushed remembering what distracted me and looked down at my hands. "He noticed, I guess, and came over to sit by me. We'd never really had a conversation before and it was kind of nice."

"If you're house mates, why haven't you ever had a conversation with him? Isn't Bader a smaller housing complex?" he asked puzzled…but there was something in his eyes that made me wonder if he didn't know something – something I wasn't saying.

"Yes, it is…but I'm a little shy and meeting new people makes me nervous. I think it's that way with Derrick too…it seemed to be one of the things we had in common." I replied a little nervously.

"Oh, okay. Please continue."

"Well after talking for awhile, we decided to get something to eat." He stopped me at this point by raising a finger.

"Who decided? Did you invite him or did he invite you?" he asked as he took some notes in a notepad he pulled from his breast pocket.

"Umm…" I thought about it running through everything in my mind and remembered my stomach had growled. "He did. My stomach growled, I was going to get something from the kitchen but he suggested we go get pizza."

He was writing furiously in his pad and didn't look up but said, "Go ahead, I'm listening."

"Well, we went to the pizza place down the street and were having a nice time actually. Then I realized Roxanne was probably waiting for me, so we left. As we were passing the park…"

He interrupted again, "The park isn't really on the way home from Domino's. Why did you take that route Bella?"

Shrugging I said, "Derrick suggested it. I didn't give it much thought…it was a nice night and we weren't in much of a hurry."

As he entered more notes in his pad he waved his hand for me to continue.

My heart started racing slightly as I realized I would need to recount in full detail the moments of Derrick's attack. This was the part of the statement that made me nervous…I still didn't fully understand why it happened – it was very confusing to me. My mind started racing through everything that happened all the way up to the moment leading to his attack. Did I bring it on? Was there something I did that provoked him?

I was quiet for so long lost in my thoughts that Detective Hammond looked up from his notes and said, "Is there something wrong Bella?"

Shaking my head no, I remained quiet wondering how I was going to tell the rest of this story. I wasn't scared anymore just concerned…what would happen to Derrick? Would his whole life be ruined by this one incident? It seemed so harsh that he would be paying for this for a very long time and nothing of serious consequence actually happened to me.

"Bella, I know this is difficult but you'll need to speak. Would you like some water?" He said gently while sitting back in the chair waiting for me to continue.

"No, I'm fine, sorry." I sat up straighter in the chair and looked at his face closely trying to envision this being Charlie interrogating someone else – maybe some familiarity would help. Charlie's face came to mind, closing my eyes I remembered I still had to tell him what happened.

"Just when we reached the entrance to the park, he grabbed my arm asking me if I thought this was a date. He got agitated when I told him no. That's when things started getting really strange…he claimed I thought I was better than him. When I tried to explain I wasn't interested in dating anyone, that's when he got really upset. He accused me of lying to him. Because well…for a while Ian and I did kind of date; but I had broken that off a couple of nights earlier." Hanging my head now as I thought of everything I'd done the past couple of months, the tears started stinging and I took a deep breath trying to gain control again.

"He started shaking me then, screaming at me – when I told him he was hurting me he didn't care. He just kept yelling and holding on tighter…his rage was getting alarming. Maybe I shouldn't have gone for pizza with him it was probably confusing. He didn't know I'd only love one man – that Edward is my true love." Now the tears were falling freely. As I thought about it in this way, I knew it was my fault. "I'm so sorry, I never meant for any of this to happen."

"Bella, what do you mean you never meant for this to happen. This isn't your fault. Even if you feel you led him on in some way, he still had no right to attack you. Do you understand that?" He asked tenderly trying to reassure me.

"Then why…why did he feel so betrayed. What happened to make him change his whole demeanor – he was fun to be around when we were having pizza. He changed all of a sudden when I told him I didn't want to date, that's why it's my fault. He knew I had gone out with Ian so he was hurt when I rejected him. Don't you see that's why this is my fault. I didn't just hurt him, I hurt Ian too when Edward came back that night." The tears were streaming down my face, my nose was running, I was crying so hard I was hiccupping.

He pushed out his chair, stood and walked to my side placing his hand on my shoulder, "Bella, this isn't your fault, believe me." He knelt down beside my chair and turned it so I was facing him. "If that were the case…you said you hurt Ian too, then why didn't Ian attack you? Come on think about it for a minute while I get you some tissues, I'll be right back." He stood to leave as I wiped my face with my hand trying to collect myself.

When he was closing the door I heard him say to Edward, "We're almost done in here. She's a little upset; I'm going to get some tissues. Please don't go in, it's important that we continue."

Hearing this only made me more upset; knowing Edward was in the hall and couldn't come in. Everything the detective said made sense but I still couldn't help feeling guilty. Turning my chair to face the table, I put my head down on the cold metal. It helped somewhat; I closed my eyes and imagined the cold hard surface was Edward's chest as the tears started to slow down.

The door opened and Detective Hammond came in with a box of tissues. "Bella, we'll be done soon. Here…" he said as he handed me the tissues. Picking my head up, I took the box and placed it in front of me taking one and blowing my nose. "Are you ready to continue?"

Swallowing, I shook my head and remembered I needed to speak. "Yes."

Wiping my cheeks with the tissue I took a deep breath. "Derrick was really upset thinking I was making an excuse for not dating him, he got really strange. Pulling on my arm he led me further into the park saying this was a date and we would walk through the park like other couples. He wanted me to tell him how much I enjoyed the date and kiss him. That's when I started panicking; I didn't know what he was going to do, but knowing the further in the park he led me the worse the situation would be. I thought of using my cast as a weapon, but just when I went to swing he moved, I missed and almost fell. That's when he got even more furious, somehow I got away and started running but I'm not very coordinated and fell. He was on top of me before I could get up."

I grabbed a tissue and took another deep breath. "I've never seen anyone as angry as he was…he was screaming and had me pinned to the ground by my shoulders. I tried really hard to get away, but he was using all his strength to keep me pinned. I was crying and trying to convince him he didn't know what he was doing, but he wasn't listening. Then he wasn't on me anymore, I jumped up to run but saw someone beating him. At first I didn't know who it was and then recognized it was Ian. He was beating Derrick pretty bad, but I convinced him to stop. He got off Derrick and held me making sure I was okay. That's all I remember, the next thing I knew I was in my bed at Bader Hall."

The tears had become a slow steady stream now and I felt much better. Getting the whole story out actually felt cathartic it was like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. He was the first person I'd told it to. Sitting back in the chair my whole body relaxed, I felt drained.

"Good Bella, that was great. I'm sorry I just have a couple of questions and then you can join Edward and go home. Okay?" he asked sympathetically. His face was sincere, he knew this was difficult for me, I nodded letting him know to continue.

"Okay when you said you never had a conversation with Mr. Sanders previously, I'm a little confused." He was flipping through his notebook now; "You never spoke to him at all before last night?" he gently probed. He looked at me; his face was perplexed…waiting for me to answer.

"Well, not a conversation…we had spoken before but it wasn't really a conversation." I said picking at the tissue in my hand without looking at him.

"What did you speak about prior to last evening?"

"The first time I met him was when school first began. It was in the student center the day before classes started. He introduced himself; Roxanne and I were leaving so it was a very short encounter. Roxanne did tell me the night before at our orientation party he was asking about me, but we never spoke before the day at the center." I replied innocently. I was pretty sure I knew where this line of questioning was headed but didn't want to volunteer anything.

"I see, so you didn't talk to him again until last evening?" He looked straight into my eyes and I couldn't hold his gaze. Looking down again at the tissue in my hand I realized I had wadded it up into a tight ball.

Placing it on the table and grabbing another one, I began telling him about the day Rox and I had brunch. "There was one other time, Roxanne and I went to brunch in town one morning and ran into him."

Without looking up I played with the tissue in my hand, "He wanted to join us but we were just finishing, Roxanne needed to use the ladies room so it was just Derrick and I at the table. He asked if he could tag along and well I sort of teased him a little. I didn't mean anything by it; it was more of a joke on Roxanne then anything else. I was upset with her for leaving me alone at the table to deal with him, so I told him Roxanne had an interest in him. It was wrong I know, but it was a harmless joke…really!" I said looking at him nervously; this would be where he told me that the whole thing was my fault. If I hadn't pushed him that day, he probably would have just left me alone.

Detective Hammond never wavered in his scrutiny of my face. He didn't get angry or annoyed; he just waved me on to continue. "Well, he admitted he liked me…a lot." Stopping here, I felt this was enough detail after all; this entire interview was about last night, not about that day in town.

Again, he never said a word; he just studied my face for a couple of minutes waiting. The longer he looked at me the more nervous I got, clearing my throat I began stumbling over my words again, "He kind of grabbed me and well…he told me he could make me feel _real_ good. Then he…well he attempted to kiss me." There was no way I was saying what happened it was too embarrassing, so I just pulled the tissue in my hand apart.

"When you say he attempted to kiss you, what do you mean exactly?" He was sitting back in his chair looking very relaxed but still studying my face.

I felt the blush coming up on my cheeks and heating my face; I couldn't believe he was going to make me say this. "Well, he held my head and, um…he stuck his tongue down my throat." I felt the bile building in my mouth as I thought about it. It was funny when Roxanne and I talked about it afterwards, now it just made me sick to my stomach. Then I heard a loud noise in the hallway…I blushed even deeper, I'd forgotten about Edward in the hallway.

"Excuse me," Detective Hammond said rising from his chair and opening the door. "Are you alright?" he queried Edward.

"Yes, sorry I was leaning back in the chair, it fell and somehow fell apart. I'm fine though, sorry about the chair."

I could tell by the tone of his voice he was withholding his fury. Picturing how he must look, the fury deep in his eyes, his hands balled in fists speaking through his clenched teeth. Great, another thing I would have to explain. This was the longest day of my life and it didn't appear it would be getting any better after this interview was over. Placing my forehead on the table and sighing I began worrying about Edward.

"We'll be done momentarily." Detective Hammond informed him and closed the door again.

Picking my head up I looked at him, "Are we done yet?"

"Almost, sorry I know this is difficult. Now after he kissed you, what did you do?"

"Well, I pushed away and told him I thought his actions were inappropriate. That's when Roxanne came out and we left." There was no need to tell him anything else; there really wasn't anything that could be considered important.

"How did he seem when you told him it was inappropriate, did he accept what you were telling him?" he was studying me again, I was starting to get annoyed and wished he would just ask me whatever it was he was digging for.

"Not really, he wanted to buy me an ice cream. He told me he would enjoy watching me eat an ice cream." There was another scuffle outside the door, Detective Hammond just looked over his shoulder briefly and turned back silently letting me know to continue.

"That's when Roxanne came out, she asked him to leave. He didn't want to listen to her, so I told him to leave and grabbed my bag walking away. That was it, afterwards we went back to the house and told Anne what happened. Up until yesterday he pretty much stayed away. Anne said she would tell the guys in the house to keep an eye out and they must have, because he was never alone with me after that…until yesterday that is." Sighing now, I looked at him waiting for him to ask another question.

Flipping through his notebook again, he looked up at me and said, "Okay Bella that's it." Standing he pushed his chair in and continued, "If we have any other questions, we'll reach you at Bader. Thank you for coming down and giving us your statement."

Standing up slowly I hesitated, I didn't know if I would be able to ask…but I had to. "Um, do you think I could see him?"

His features scrunched into confusion, "You mean Derrick?" he asked.

Nodding my head, "Yes, I'd like to see him. I was hoping to ask him why he did this?"

"No Bella, I don't advise that even if it were possible. Understand something about guys like Derrick, but particularly Derrick – he's obsessed with you. There isn't any sound reasoning or judgment when it comes to you where Derrick is concerned. He has actually convinced himself that he loves you and you belong with him. He's dangerous and sick." He shook his head at the end and touched my shoulder gently leading me towards the door.

"But maybe if I could talk to him, he'd understand. I think you're right – he is sick, but I don't think he's that dangerous. He didn't mean it; I know he didn't. If I hadn't gone for pizza with him this would never have happened." I pleaded with him, I knew if I could just talk some sense into Derrick he'd listen to reason.

"Bella listen to me. First of all…you are not responsible for Derrick's actions. You will not be able to convince him he's wrong, he's that sick. Secondly, even if I thought you were right and agreed that speaking with him was sound, you can't. He's not able to see anyone but his attorney until his arraignment on Monday. Until then, he's safe and you shouldn't worry about him. He's our responsibility now; we'll watch him."

He placed both hands on my shoulders and looked into my face, "Lastly, you need to understand this is not your fault. He would have eventually snapped whether you went out with him or not…it was just a matter of time. I'm concerned; you are taking too much accountability for this. You should consider going to see someone about what happened, there's counselors at school who could help. Take the time, go see one of them, you'll feel better afterwards. Now, I should return you to your boyfriend I think he's getting antsy out there by the sound of it." He smiled again gently putting his arm around my shoulder when he opened the door.

Edward rushed to the door immediately, holding back momentarily – waiting, I walked into his arms. He held me as I breathed in his scent and felt immediately better. His hold on me was a bit tighter than normal, I could barely breath…but I didn't care.

"Come on kids, let's get you two out of here." Detective Hammond said as he walked past us down the hall towards the exit.

Edward wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him completely drained. There was just one more question though, "Detective Hammond, what will happen to him?" I asked timidly. Edward stiffened as I asked the question, but I ignored it, this was important to me.

"This is his first offense, so most likely he'll be put on probation and sent for mandatory psychological counseling. Don't worry though he's been expelled from the college and he'll be returning to New Jersey in the custody of his mother. You'll be safe, I advise you to get a restraining order though – just in case. Sorry but that's the best we can do, it's the system." He shrugged and looked apologetic.

"Thanks, I'll be fine. I'm glad he'll get help; maybe he can work through this and be okay. He's too young for this to ruin his life." I smiled softly at him. Hopefully it would work out and he'd adjust completely after going home.

We were in the main room now, shaking his head he looked at me, "You're too forgiving Bella. Thank you again for coming in." Reaching into his jacket he pulled out a card and handed it to me, "If you need anything, anything at all, call. My cell number is on there as well, day or night Bella, I'm here for you." He reached out and shook my hand, "Contact the health center at school and talk to one of the counselors…I'm sure you'll feel better if you do."

Turning to Edward he shook his hand as well, "Edward it was a pleasure meeting you. Be sure to thank your father for all his help with this case. Thanks for bringing her in and take care of her, okay?"

"Certainly, now that we are together again, she's my sole responsibility – the reason for my continued existence. I have no intention of letting anything happen to her." He smiled his winning smile and kissed me on the head. "Let's get you home, it's been a very long day. Thank you Detective Hammond." He escorted me to the door.

The minute we stepped outside I stopped and took a deep breath. Edward would grill me all night and I wasn't up to it, but knew that it was unavoidable. Then I remembered Ian…he was waiting for me at the house. Stiffening from the thought, this day was never going to end…I sighed, "Lets get home, I have one more thing to take care of." Edward took my hand and we walked to his car silently.

* * *


	42. Human Instincts

**Human Instincts**

**No I still don't own any rights.**

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EPOV

Bella hadn't changed at all over the course of the year, well perhaps in some ways she had, but her stubbornness was still persistent. Sometimes her inflexibility was maddening to the point of making me crazed with fury and frustration. Why couldn't she stop taking risks, why must I always explain that she was being petulant? She claimed I was treating her like a child…what could she expect when she was clearly acting as one.

Last night we had discussed everything very clearly and she expressed her desire to be treated as an adult, yet today she insists on seeing _that boy_. The very thought of it makes me numb with rage, if only there were a way for her to see the vision that has haunted me…her lifeless body laying on the ground in the park. Perhaps a healthy dose of fear would help her understand the seriousness of the situation.

I thought her panic attack would have been evidence enough to make her realize the severity of that boy's actions. When she was having the attack I was sure afterwards she would have an appreciation of the unpredictable nature that human lives balance upon. Yet she still insists on granting him an opportunity to explain himself. What could he possibly tell her, that he's insane…her charm and beauty have claimed any common sense he may have had at some point in his life.

As I waited in the entryway for her to come back downstairs, my anxiety was mounting. I've given in to her request and will drive her to the police station, but I'll be on my guard every moment we are there. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket, looking at the caller ID I smile – just the person who can assist. "Good Afternoon Alice."

Giggling she responded, "Oh don't play nice now Edward. I'm calling for Bella's benefit…I'm on her side. But I thought you should know they won't allow her to see him, so you can calm down."

"Alice, I will never take you for granted, of course knowing in advance of our argument would have been nice."

"Now Edward that wouldn't have been educational. How will you ever learn what Bella's needs are if I warn you?" She giggled thoroughly pleased with herself.

"Thank you very much Alice." Flipping the phone shut quickly as I heard Bella come down the stairs I grabbed her poncho holding it out for her. My relief was evident; I couldn't restrain my satisfaction in knowing that she was safe and would remain so – for this afternoon at least.

Having Bella in my car again gave me such a strong surge of peace, the aroma just the thing I had craved for a year. Her scent permeating the confined space, once again overpowering the leather and flowing around me, making me both thirsty and satisfied at once. She seemed to become reflective in the car, I didn't know if it was my fast driving or something else that caused this stillness in her.

Soon we were at the police station and when we exited the car Bella immediately tensed. Her fear came off her in potent waves, if she wanted to leave that would be fine. Conducting the interview in her home would be easier on both of us. Once again though her stubbornness won out, she was determined to prove something to herself if not me. Shaking my head, I grabbed her hand and we entered the building.

The tension inside Bella reminded me of a caged cat. She appeared to be ready to pounce in a moment's notice. Rubbing her back to get her calm I heard Detective Hammond and Ian coming our way. Fortunately we wouldn't have to wait out here any longer, the various scents and thoughts were wreaking havoc on me, and I was tempted to stop breathing but couldn't risk someone noticing.

As I stood I heard Ian's thoughts clearly across the room, _'Great…just what I need. I came here intentionally so I wouldn't have to see the two of them. All I want to do is get to New York State and find a way to put some perspective on this.' _I was empathetic to his emotions, knowing if Bella had fallen for him and the situation was reversed, my thoughts would be very similar to his.

Detective Hammond was exactly what Bella needed for her interview, he was kind yet thorough. Her ability to glaze over details due to her forgiving nature would be brought to light with him in a manner that wouldn't be misconstrued as being accusatory. _'She's the same age as my niece, and so petite. I hope she never learns how lucky she was that Ian arrived when he did.'_ Yes, he was the right man for this task. Bella's fear lessened when he shook her hand, but she was still anxious about something.

The request to speak with Ian surprised me slightly and I stiffened, but of course I shouldn't have been taken off guard. Bella always put everyone's needs above her own, even in this environment she pushes past her own fears to address this boy's hurt. Her incessant need to make everyone around her happy and comfortable was one of the reasons I adored her and one of the reasons she frustrated me so.

'_No, I can't talk to her yet…I need time to gain some clarity on how I'll continue to live in the same house with her; especially if he's going to be around. Look at her though, she's been through so much I can't leave her hanging like this while I hide out in NY.'_ Ian's thoughts mirrored his response to Bella; at least she would have some closure on this.

Based on Detective Hammond's thoughts I would have to remain out here while they took Bella's statement. Waiting in the car would be more suitable for me; there was too much stress and fear in this building and it caused me to be on edge. Having the reassurance from Alice that Bella would not be able to confront that boy made the decision easy.

As Bella realized I couldn't join her she began having another minor panic attack, due to his compassion Detective Hammond created accommodations to suit her wishes. As we walked through the hall towards the area where she would relive this nightmare, I could feel her body tensing. My desire to take her place in this process was threatening to rip me to pieces. If only she didn't have to provide a statement…but then the boy would get out. That wouldn't be so bad though, I could personally see to it that he never came near her again. As much as this thought pleased me I knew Bella would be disappointed, so I pushed it aside.

She entered the room and was left to address her nightmare head on, the only comfort I had was the detective's kindness…and the fact that the door could easily be dislodged in seconds. Sitting in the chair while I listened to him begin the process, I closed my eyes and adjusted my breathing so I could hear every utterance within the room.

I felt a surge of pride as she recounted in detail the events leading up to the attack. She was so brave, yet had so little perspective on what she offered everyone who was blessed to have her in their lives.

As I listened to the discourse in the room closed to me, I became impressed with Detective Hammond's ability to listen attentively. He was asking questions of Bella that specified Derrick's guilt, taking notes throughout without steering her off course. His mind was sharp and on point with ensuring Derrick remained in custody until he was dealt with by the judicial system.

I became tense when hearing Bella claim responsibility for the events, my fists balled at my side and I quickly wrapped my arms around my torso so as not to cause any damage to city property. The last thing needed was for me to be put in lockup with the human that caused all of Bella's misery. My jaw tight, teeth clenched it was taking everything within me to remain seated as she continued to cry telling the detective why she felt it was her fault. The tension lightened as I heard him consoling her and explaining her guilt was illogical.

Sitting back in my seat and closing my eyes feigning boredom, the detective came out of the room informing me of the details I already knew. While he walked away to get tissues, I stood and paced quickly to dispel some of the rage building inside me. How could she take blame for his actions? How would I make her understand she held no accountability for what happened?

Taking a seat quickly before Detective Hammond came back I scowled and luckily he thought it was impatience for the process. After closing the door behind him, I heard Bella begin again approaching the part that would most likely cause the greatest stress and leaned forward in the chair listening intently. As she articulated the final moments of the attack my body tensed, I felt myself becoming rigid as a stone waiting for her to finish.

Then the questioning began, he asked all the questions I knew were coming. He waited patiently as she hesitantly answered providing him with all the information on the encounters she had with the boy. She had never told me, nor had anyone else, the confrontations she had previously had with him, so I was extremely interested in her answers. I listened attentively as she explained his interest early in the school year, this was not a surprise to me only to Bella; she would never understand how much her beauty drew people to her.

I found myself smiling lightly as she told her account of the escapade she concocted to mislead him, but the laughter quickly died when she voiced how the episode got of hand, his ungentlemanly act of sticking his tongue down her throat. Jumping from the chair I threw it against the wall in rage – how dare he make advances on her without her invitation. My hands were molded into claws, if his neck were anywhere near me right now I'd snap it. My vampire instincts were not the prevailing force right now – human instincts were taking over in this case.

Quickly adjusting the chair into a heap against the wall before Detective Hammond opened the door, I stood remolding my face into a mask of remorse. He glanced at the chair and then back at me, for a very brief moment his expression registered shock, _'What on earth was he doing in that chair? That's not broken it's mutilated – almost as if it was thrown into a pit with a bunch of angry gorillas.'_ "Are you alright?"

I was preoccupied with the indignation I felt thinking of _that boy's_ lips anywhere near Bella's and hoped my explanation would be convincing. "Yes, sorry I was leaning back in the chair, it fell and somehow fell apart. I'm fine though, sorry about the chair."

Then he looked back at me perplexed, apologized and informed me they were nearly done.

Just as I was gaining control again, she continued telling the boy's warped attempt to win her. He wanted to watch her eat ice cream; I was outraged. What a sick twisted boy, surely I had to find a way to dispose of him – perhaps after this was over I would. Stomping on the chair crushing it completely beneath my foot imagining it was his face, I listened to make sure the detective didn't come back to check on me.

It was over; I paced quickly to collect myself before she came out. My emotions needed to be intact – she had been through enough she certainly didn't need my antagonism for the boy to upset her further. Enthralled with the conversation as she asked Detective Hammond if she could see Derrick I heard him explain not only the law, but also why she should avoid any future contact with him. I was grateful for his lecture; perhaps if she wouldn't listen to me she may just heed his advice.

When the door opened I never felt more relieved to see Bella, well perhaps that was an overstatement of the truth; but the comforting feeling swept through me as her scent surrounded me. We could leave; I could finally hold her again in my arms and help her heal.

There was something else Bella wanted to address, I could sense her reluctance. I knew she was exhausted, but this was different she had a slight edginess about her. Then she asked the question…she wanted to know what would happen to that piece of filth. Controlling my desire to turn her to face me and explain how ridiculous her concern was, I let the detective do it for me.

The drive back to the house was silent I let her reflect on the evening giving her the space she most likely needed. Bella knew if she wanted to talk, I would listen and provide whatever comfort I could. The frustration I felt at not being able to hear her thoughts was inconsequential in comparison to what she needed at the moment.

When we approached her house she turned to me, "Edward I need to speak with Ian, this won't be a problem will it?" At first I was stunned that she felt I would pose a problem, but in reflection of my recent behavior she was entitled to think this.

I earned this, taking her in my arms I sighed, "Bella, take as long as needed to work out your relationship with Ian. He deserves my gratitude and much more for protecting you when I couldn't. I won't interfere." Pulling her from my embrace I kissed her on the forehead. "I'll wait out here."

"No, you don't need to…why don't you come inside. Roxanne can entertain you while I speak with him." She pulled my hand leading me into the house.

When we entered the common room, it was crowded but everyone stopped talking once they saw us. The topic of discussion was Derrick's attack on Bella, I had the advantage of hearing everyone's thoughts and knew what they were discussing, although she couldn't hear their thoughts Bella also knew – the blush on her face clearly indicated her awareness. "Hey" she said softly to her friends.

"Bella, how did it go?" Roxanne asked anxiously as her eyes darted between Bella and I_. 'She looks exhausted; I hope they didn't have another fight. Did she get to see Derrick?'_

As if hearing her thoughts Bella replied, "Fine, they wouldn't let me speak to Derrick though." Frowning slightly and looking around the room she asked, "Do you know where Ian is? He said he'd wait for me before heading home."

"He's downstairs, playing pool." Sam answered quickly, briefly looking up from the textbook in his hands. _'I hope she doesn't intend to drag him along with her when she talks to Ian, that would be too much. It's like they're attached at the hip or something…'_

"Oh, is he…alone?" pulling the poncho over her head as she asked.

"Yes, he asked us to let him know when you came home." Roxanne said standing to go tell him.

Touching Roxanne's arm lightly she said, "No, I'll talk to him down there." She turned to me and smiled sweetly. "I'll be back soon, make yourself at home."

Taking the poncho from her hand I took it out to the coat rack, perhaps I should just leave. This was awkward enough without my presence to complicate it any further. My hand was on the door when I heard her thoughts, _'Where's he going? Bella will freak if she thought we chased him away.'_

"Hey, where are you going? Didn't Bella just tell you to make yourself at home? It looks to me like your leaving."

Turning slightly I smiled, "I thought waiting in my car would be best, considering…"

She put her hand out and motioned for me to follow her, "No way. Come on, let's get a beer and sit outside. It's a bit more private; if you're going to be around Bella, we should get to know each other better. I am her best friend and if I don't approve well, you'll be gone buddy." She started laughing trying to ease my discomfort.

Smiling at her I replied easily, "Thank you, that would be nice. But no beer for me, I'm driving."

I followed as she went into the kitchen and grabbed herself a beer. "Can I get you anything to drink or eat?" she asked graciously.

Shaking my head no, "I'm fine while Bella was giving her statement I grabbed something to eat. She'll need something to eat, but I'm fine." The excuse would work well, she would never find out and she would make sure Bella ate – my more immediate concern.

Shrugging she said, "Okay, let's go sit outside." She walked through the common room while I followed. As we crossed the room I heard Anne's curiosity gnawing at her, but she remained by Sam's side.

Once we were settled in, Roxanne looked up to the sky, "What a beautiful evening, look at all those stars…it will be a nice day tomorrow, not a cloud in the sky. I love fall, don't you? Summer is too damn hot for me, spring and fall are my favorite seasons."

Reading her thoughts to determine if she was making small talk to build up to something else, I agreed with her easily. Although there were advantages to all seasons, one season or another didn't matter to me since I didn't get hot or cold.

"Edward, does Bella know we met before…I mean prior to…" she was struggling to find the words to describe Bella's attack.

Cutting her off so she wouldn't have to finish the sentence, "No, I didn't tell her anything. She's mad enough at me for being in town and not letting her know, the last thing she needs to find out is that you and I had joined forces. That might not fare well, so my recommendation is to let that bit of information stay between you and I."

She studied my face for a brief moment, _'Bella must have really let him have it.'_ "So are you protecting yourself or her…or me for that matter?"

"Bella of course, she's my only concern. Not that you aren't impotant; I like you Roxanne, but Bella really isn't in the right frame of mind to find out we were collaborating behind her back. She's dealing with enough things at the moment." I replied looking down at my hands as I thought about what she was currently addressing.

Looking out in the yard, "Humph…you're probably right. So will you still come to the party?" she asked casually. _'In a way I hope he doesn't, it could get sticky with Ian and Drake. But Bella won't come if he doesn't, ugh, it's so complicated now.'_

Smiling slyly, "That's up to Bella. If she wants me to come, I will. If she determines that it's best I stay away…then..." I held my hands out palms up.

Nodding her head, _'He really does love her, I'll give him that.'_ "Sooo, now that you and Bella are back together and you're out of the slump. What will you do? Are you going to enroll in school?" she asked curiously watching my face closely. _'I wonder if he's one of those spoiled kids that live off their parents money?'_

Controlling my facial expressions it was insulting that she would think of me in this way, "Most likely when the new semester begins, in the meantime though I'm taking private courses for my music studies. It's my passion…I play piano, having the opportunity to pursue this is an advantage and the courses can be converted to credits when I do enroll." I lied.

"Oh." _'Wow beauty and talent – nice find Bella.'_ "Okay, I've been nice enough! What are your intentions with my friend? I know, I know, we've been through this already but where do you see it going. When we had this conversation last time it was to bring the two of you together…now it's different. So spill!" she said sighing. _'Holding back on that was killing me, so what if he thinks I'm nosy.'_

After a brief laugh I replied, "Well, our future hasn't really been discussed Roxanne. I've only been back one night. There are a great number of things I don't know. These are details that Bella and I need to discuss, I'd like to understand where she sees herself in a year, two years, five years." Looking down at my hands, I frowned slightly thinking about everything we would need to talk about. I needed to know if she's still as persistent in me changing her into a monster.

Looking back at her, "As her friend you are entitled to ask questions regarding my intentions, I'm not insulted…it's just the answers are not clear at the moment."

'_Wow, this guy is too good to be real! He actually cares what she wants in life, it's not all about his needs. I wonder if there are anymore where he came from.'_ She continued staring into my eyes; I broke my gaze hoping I wasn't dazzling her. Sighing lightly she asked, "Fair enough, but that's about what Bella wants…where do you see yourself in a year, two years, five years. Last time I checked it took two people to be in a relationship."

"That's not as complicated, by Bella's side, of course. You see Roxanne, it doesn't matter what course my future takes as long as Bella's in it."

She looked at me exasperated, _'He is a spoiled rich kid…using the family fortune as a crutch.' _

Continuing quickly before she had me squandering our family fortune further, "I'm very fortunate, Carlisle and Esme have invested my parent's estate wisely and my future is financially secure. Aside from the economic advantages, I also have a vast number of interests and my schooling has been excellent. What I'm trying to say while maintaining some modesty is my future is adaptable because of my advantages. So molding mine to Bella's is not a problem."

'_His parent's money…so he's rich, he doesn't need to live off of the doctor's fortune – he's got his own!'_ "Oh come on Edward, there has to be something you want out of life, other than Bella's happiness that is." She smiled broadly.

"I can honestly say in a year, two years, five years my only dream is having Bella by my side – hear her heart beating in my ear, see her blush coloring her cheeks. Helping her to achieve her dreams, making sure her life is full and rewarding, those are the things I think about when imagining the future." My face portrayed my sincerity when I looked at her. I knew she wouldn't grasp my subtle nuisances.

'_What am I missing here, who puts someone else's dreams above their own? No one – that's who! This guy can't be real…no wonder Bella couldn't get over him. It's like he was created from a dream.'_ She was staring at me full of concentration trying to figure out what made me react this way. Although she didn't understand my subtle nuisances, she was getting suspicious of me. I needed to quickly reverse her thinking somehow.

In order to sound convincing I summoned my ability to convey my desires to my prey. "Well I've always had an interest in psychology, the idea that I could get into someone's head and help them work out any issues they may be burying is appealing. I sometimes picture myself with a small private practice, but that's very far away and requires years of education." My voice dripped with uncertainty and a small amount of longing. "Of course Carlisle encourages me, his desire to see me enter the medical field makes him proud." I finished sighing.

Her thoughts became much less doubtful, _'Now that makes sense, and he probably would be good at it. He has an uncanny ability to put people at ease somehow…'_ "You would be a good psychologist, why do you sound uncertain?" she queried finishing her thoughts aloud.

Keeping my expression serious, "It will take years of continuous schooling and building a practice won't be easy. I've never discussed this with Bella and we'd need to work out the details. Based on previous conversations, she feels I should stick with my musical interests – but that too would require complete dedication." Shrugging, I hoped the tale I was spinning quelled her fears.

Sighing lightly, she leaned back in her chair and looked out into the yard. She spoke in a far away voice, as if speaking her thoughts aloud, "You are good together, almost like two pieces of a puzzle. I knew she was in deep based on her dreams; remember I told you she talks in her sleep. It's like she's incomplete without you…watching you during her panic attack it was amazing the way you two were. I've never seen anything like it, it was like you were the air she needed to breath." _'Edward is interesting – nothing like the guys I've ever met. I really hope one day I find someone that completes me the way he does for her.'_

Remaining quiet I listened to her thoughts and words and couldn't help but smile. "From the day I met her, Bella has intrigued me. The way her mind works, she always surprises me by her actions. Learning her habits and discovering how she reacts – I treasure everything about her. Since the day she captivated me, there has been no choice – I knew my existence without her would be incomplete. That is why when you first met me I was in a state, her absence in my days made the thought of any future inconsequential. Every day was just a repeat of the day prior, now that she's back – there will never be a moment in Bella's life when she doesn't realize how much she means to me." I had been staring off into the night, thinking of what she meant to me when the realization hit me, if Bella requested I change her; I would. As much as I knew it would be for very selfish reasons, I knew I couldn't continue to exist without her.

"Wow! You have it bad kid! I thought Bella was in deep, but you're over the edge. You two really are Odysseus and Penelope, only a real life version. It's funny, I'm a cynical person most days but you make me wonder if there really isn't one person for each person out there. The way you two are together it's amazing and actually makes me optimistic. Don't get me wrong, Drake's great, but we don't have anything even close to what you two have." She sighed heavily.

"You're right, Bella and my relationship is unusual. But somehow I don't think you have anything to worry about Roxanne," I gazed into the common room searching out Drake's whereabouts. "What little I've seen of you and Drake, I think you'll be together for awhile. He seems pretty enamored by your charms." I chuckled.

"You think?" she questioned. She really didn't have as much confidence as she wanted everyone to believe. She was a strong individual, but what made her such a good person is her self-assurance wasn't arrogance.

"I don't think, I know. He watches you when you aren't paying attention – it appears he thinks about you often and wants you to be happy. But as I stated, I haven't witnessed you together that often, I'm just commenting on the times I've observed." I replied shrugging.

She smiled happily and sat back in the chair again looking up at the sky. "From your lips to God's ears."

I chuckled slightly, if she only knew. God wasn't listening to anything coming from my lips.

Sitting back in the chair, my mind wandered back to what Bella was currently addressing. Tempted as I was to tune into Ian's thoughts, I kept them blocked. If Bella wanted me to know what they discussed she would tell me. Sighing heavily, the anxiety started to mount again.

Sensing my change in mood, Roxanne tried to reassure me. "I'm sure, they'll be done soon. Ian knows that you belong together – I don't think he'll give her a hard time, especially after what she just went through."

Just then the sliding glass door opened and I turned to see Bella coming through the door.  
She looked exhausted, her eyes were moist, her cheeks were red but not from the lovely blushes that usually highlighted them – this color that tainted her cheeks was from crying. Standing I went to her and pulled her into my arms.

She crumbled against me and sighed. "Thanks." Pulling away, she took my hand and led me back to the chair. Taking the seat first, I pulled her into my lap and she laid her head on my chest, I could hear her heart hammering in her chest, pounding slightly faster than normal. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head, stroking her hair and back trying to ease the tension in her body.

Roxanne looked over at us and stood, "I'll leave you two alone. Have a good night kids." She patted Bella's hand lightly and left.

"Are you okay?" I whispered. I was anxious to hear what happened, but knew she was exhausted.

"Uh huh, let me just stay here in your arms for a minute. Okay?" Her body was relaxing and her words were slurring – any minute now she'd be fast asleep. I was fine with that, as long as she was in my arms – our conversation could wait. It could wait for all of eternity as long as she remained right where she was.

* * *


	43. Desires

**Desires**

**Insert Disclaimer here...**

* * *

BPOV

I was anxious coming back after the interview and could tell right away when I entered the common room most everyone there was talking about what Derrick had done. It's hard for anyone to understand how I might feel on this, but I actually feel bad for him. He was probably a very lonely person, he probably never went on a date before – I mean before Edward I never dated, so the possibility could easily have existed. My having dinner with him probably was confusing and when I rejected him it just made it that much harder.

I was disappointed in everyone in the house, because they were talking about him so cruelly and never took the time to get to know him – yet here they sat talking about him. It was annoying, but I couldn't focus on that. I really needed to find Ian so we could talk and he could go see his Mom for her birthday.

Heading down the stairs I couldn't believe how nervous I was, my palms were sweating, my heart was racing. As I came around the corner I heard music playing lightly and as I glanced towards the pool table I didn't see him. Movement out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. He was sitting on an old beat up couch with his head slumped back and his eyes closed. I wasn't sure if he was sleeping, because it's not like I'm a graceful person, he should have heard me clomping down the steps.

As I stepped lightly to his side, he opened one eye looked at me and then closed it again. He patted the seat next to him, "Sit Bella, I've been waiting for you. How did it go with Detective Hammond?"

"Um, okay I guess. How about yours?" I was seated on the edge of the couch not wanting to sit back, actually if I was being completely honest I wanted to bolt from the room. It was unusual how calm he seemed, like he was resting from a long day – he didn't seem anxious or hurt.

I had to turn slightly to see him; he hadn't opened his eyes. Shrugging he said, "I guess it went okay, all I had to tell him was how I came upon the scene and what happened when I did. He did ask a couple of questions about earlier in the year, so somebody else must have filled him in on your earlier encounters."

"You won't get into any trouble for beating him up, will you?" I asked as I turned sideways on the couch and put my left leg up under me.

"I don't think so, it all depends on whether or not he or his family want to press charges. I don't think they will though." The tone of his voice held a slight edge, but he still hadn't opened his eyes. His whole demeanor was making me even edgier.

"Did you hear that he'd be sent home under his mother's supervision? I really wanted to speak with him, but they wouldn't let me." Looking away from him and shaking my head slightly, I still didn't understand why I couldn't just confront him. They always show that on the TV programs – the person who gets attacked gets the opportunity to confront the attacker. What would have been the big deal, I wanted to let Derrick know he needed help. Maybe if I had the chance to tell him his advances weren't welcome he would understand and get the help he needed.

Ian shifted in his seat quickly and was staring at me in disbelief. "What's wrong with you Bella? Do you have a death wish or something? After everything he put you through you want to talk to him – I don't get you." He was angry, shaking his head in frustration.

Looking at him in surprise, what didn't he understand? "What? He wouldn't have been able to hurt me; I was in the police station. I just wanted the opportunity to find out why he did it; maybe then it would be easier. Right now, it's as if these past couple of days are like a bad dream. Everything has happened has been so surreal, it's hard to believe it's only been a couple of days – it seems more like months."

He positioned himself in the corner of the couch so he could look at me – no, more like glare at me. The look was hard and determined, full of accusations – I broke the gaze looking towards the pool table. I deserved this; he was justified in his hatred.

"Bella it _has_ been months, where have you been. Yes, everything that happened occurred in just a few short hours but it was a culmination of things that happened over the course of the past month and a half. Derrick didn't wake up yesterday and decide he wanted to attack you…that's something that was building inside him for awhile." He sighed, "Everything else, all the other things that took place at the same time…well that too was developing over the course of the past couple of months." His voice had become softer and wistful.

My heart jumped a little, I couldn't look at him then for fear I would see the pain in his eyes. "I know, I'm sorry." He knew I wasn't talking about Derrick anymore, the apology hung in the air for a few moments.

"Me too. In a way, I wish I never met you." He put his head back on the couch and closed his eyes again. His words cut deep, I didn't want to lose him as a friend but he wished he never met me.

"I really am sorry, but especially sorry you feel that way. I'm glad I met you and got to know you. You're one of my closest friends and the thought that I've hurt you so much that you don't want to know me…well I wish I could turn back the clock."

I hung my head slightly thinking back on everything, if I had the chance to change everything how would I have changed it. Our relationship just happened, I never intended for him to like me in that way, I just wanted to be friends. But all along I knew he liked me more than as a friend and I let it continue. Deep inside my heart, I knew his attention was stronger than just mere friendship and I let it continue. In a way I was hoping it did develop into something – I was hoping for a replacement for Edward; like that was ever possible.

He spoke now and his voice was soft, barely louder than a whisper, "Don't take me wrong Bella. It's not you; it's me. I got my hopes up when I met you, the first time I saw you coming down the stairs and you fell into my arms…" He opened his eyes again, but they were distant as if seeing the moment again in his memory. "You were so irresistible, slightly flushed and scattered trying to maintain a decorum of grace." He chuckled lightly.

"My heart leapt in my chest and I knew I was in trouble. I hadn't felt that way in a very long time Bella, you literally fell into my life and knocked me off balance. I found when I spent time with you I could be myself easily – and that was a miracle. I have a past too you know, something happened to me and I had built a wall around my heart so that no one could penetrate it. But then you fell into my arms and the walls started cracking. I found myself saying things to you that took me by surprise." He shook his head and smiled a sad smile.

"What happened to you?" I whispered.

He looked at me for a long moment; I watched his eyes as they scanned my face. He was processing whether or not he should tell me the details. I saw the answer in his features before he spoke the words, "It's not important Bella, it was a lifetime ago and has no bearing on this." He looked away and stared at the wall, I could tell he was in pain and it wasn't just the pain from our relationship ending.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. But…Ian, if it's like you say, if you have been hurt so badly that you closed yourself off to anyone – maybe you should tell someone." I stated with a slightly pleading tone. I couldn't stand that he was hurting; he was such a nice person and deserved to be happy.

He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and then let out a breath, "It's really not relevant to this" he gestured with his hands towards himself and then me. "If I told you Bella, how would that change anything? Would you decide to be with me instead of him? I don't need a girlfriend that is with me out of pity – besides I've seen your relationship with Edward first hand. There's no getting around the fact that you two are meant for one another." His face hardened as he said this, I'd seen this type of resignation before on others faces…Edward's…Jake's.

Looking away quickly, I felt my mood shifting. I was getting angry; why did this always happen to me, I loved Edward more than anything and yet I kept encountering men who felt they had some right to ask more of me than I was capable of giving. My hand balled into a fist as I tried to quell my anger; it wasn't Ian's fault this kept happening. There was something about me that caused this – I must send out some sort of pheromone that made this happen. Inhaling deeply, I tried to get back to the point of what we were discussing, before I blurted something out causing this to spiral out of control.

"No, you're right – it wouldn't change anything Ian." I looked directly at him now, "My love for Edward is everlasting, this past year without him and his return has proven that to me and him. Besides, I would never date someone out of pity…if that were the case then I'd be dating Derrick right now, wouldn't I?" I spat out, my anger rising to the surface as my defensive nature kicked in.

He laughed bitterly, "Touché…so what's your point then?"

"My point is… well…" I was stuttering, what was the point. He didn't need to tell me about his past; after all I hadn't been completely honest with him when I realized he was interested. My anger had nothing to do with him, I was mad at myself for putting us in this position in the first place. I just wanted to shift some of the blame, perhaps if I knew there was someone else who caused his pain it would make me feel better somehow.

I put my head in my hands, "There is no point, and I don't know what I was trying to say. I'm desperate to find a way to remain your friend. I thought if you could tell me what happened then maybe together we could mend our relationship, I know it's stupid. But Ian, I just can't lose you, not because of this. I need to know my feelings for Edward aren't the cause of losing you."

The tears started coming now; I couldn't control them. This only made my frustration worse, I didn't want to cry – damn it! Wiping away the tears angrily, "No one has understood my feelings for Edward, my friends back home, my Dad and Mom, hell even Edward and I are baffled by the intensity of it. I just want everyone to know somehow that it's uncontrollable, there's a pull and draw that has it's own force. Edward and I, well Edward fought it for a long time, that's why he left. I tried to ignore it; the time away from him nearly killed me. Coming here was good for me; I grew up, made new friends – you being one of them. And now, now that he's back to lose some of what I've gained, I can't. It sounds selfish I know, but it's important to me that my friends here accept me…all of me." I sat back on the couch now, drained, I didn't even know it was pent up inside me until the words started coming out.

"Huh, wow…I didn't expect that. Do you really believe I could walk away and not be your friend Bella? Think about it, I just told you how you rocked my world and you think I'll just walk away and never look back." Something struck him then because he laughed, "Of course you do, what was I thinking. If Edward walked away then others will…I'm not Edward Bella," he said harshly.

My head whipped around to look at him, "That's not fair, you don't know him. You don't know what he's been through, what I've been through." I stood up to leave this wasn't going well. I knew he had a temper I'd seen it before, but he was attacking Edward now. In the past his anger was directed at me, I wouldn't sit here and listen to him diminish or disparage Edward's feelings.

He jumped up and stood in front of me blocking my path. "Why so defensive Bella, did I strike a chord? I'm not stupid Bella, there's no way I'm going to push myself on you. I can see very clearly what's going on here – you love him. I get that, but you just accused me of reacting as he would, walking away from you. That's not my style; I thought you knew that after the other day. Even after everything you told me in the restaurant, I still came back to you. Remember on the deck, our kiss."

He took my face into his hands then, "Okay, you love him. Maybe he is right for you, who am I to question that. But Bella, I'm not going anywhere, that's what I'm trying to tell you." He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to the couch.

"Edward and I had a talk while you were blacked out. I understand more than you probably know. If I know anything, I'm betting your boyfriend didn't tell you about this." He smiled slyly at me waiting to see if he was correct in his assumption.

Apparently my face conveyed the shock because he nodded and chuckled, "I knew it. Well, we had a nice long talk. He explained everything to me, why he left – what it felt like, how he feels now. We agreed I would step aside, for your sake. You don't deserve to be torn apart by his reappearance – as much as I hate this I wouldn't put you through that. You're as much a part of my life as you claim I am yours." Taking my hand in his, "I couldn't walk away, you've grown on me Bella."

"I'm sorry, I really am." I said as the tears began again.

"Don't be sorry, it's not your fault." He stood up and went to the pool table taking a cue in his hand and began fiddling with it. I watched him curiously wondering what he was going to do. Would he leave now, was this it?

He put the cue down on the table and sat on the edge of it, one foot on the floor to brace himself while the other was dangling in the air; his hands clasped between his legs, "Bella, you tried to tell me your heart belonged to someone else. I didn't want to hear it; my desire to make you see there could be someone else in your life drove us to this point. You were completely forthright about everything, time and time again. The only thing to do now is for me to go to New York and figure out how to put everything in perspective. Please don't expect me to be casual in the acceptance of your relationship with Edward. I'm not that gregarious, it kills me to see you with him. But I'll find a way, I have to…we live together." He laughed lightly,

"But it's not just that, I enjoy your company, even when you're acting like a spoiled brat, or like a complete dope. Talking to Derrick…going to dinner with him, I still don't get that."

He was changing subjects now; I knew he wanted to sidetrack me. "I explained that already. There's no rational reason for what he did." I said quietly.

Coming back to my side again, he reached over and pulled my head up to look into his eyes. "Bella, he's not rational – not when it comes to you. None of us are," he chuckled lightly. "Look at us…you make us all a little crazy. But _his_ crazy, well that's something different. He's dangerous Bella; don't blame yourself for that. And don't waste another minute trying to figure it out; you'll just be wasting time. Be happy; find a way to put this in the past. You didn't deserve what he did and he doesn't deserve your pity."

He looked deeply into my eyes, "Do you understand, move on Bella. As your friend, I'm counting on you to reach out and grab all the opportunities life has to offer. Don't get caught up in his sickness; you have too much life left to live. Your life is just beginning; take advantage of everything available to you. Concentrate on school and rebuilding your relationship with Edward…make more friends. Don't try and figure Derrick out, it will only swallow you up and make you bitter. Please Bella, listen to me." His face was serious and sad, he was nearly pleading when he asked me to listen to him.

I stared back at him perplexed, why was this so important to him. "Okay…I guess. Ian, why do you sound so persistent on this, why does this mean so much to you?"

Dropping his hand to his side, he leaned back on the couch; his face changed and became emotionless. "That's not important, just listen to me okay?"

"No, why should I? What do you know about this, how could you understand how I feel?" There was something he wasn't telling me and I used my stubborn streak as a way to get him to open up, hoping it would work to my benefit.

Exhaling he closed his eyes, "Trust me Bella, I understand completely. I really don't want to get into it. Let's just suffice it to say, I knew someone who went through an experience similar to yours and she never recovered. She let it eat away at her; she never recovered. I'd hate to see that happen again, I don't think I'd be able to live with it. So if you really want to remain friends then you'll need to trust me on this." He looked at me warily.

"Oh, is that the past you were referring to?" I asked quietly.

"Yes." He said resigning his previous hesitation. "She was my girlfriend throughout high school, we were in love. She was somewhere she shouldn't have been and the worst thing that can happen to a young girl happened. That's why I pummeled Derrick so bad. I couldn't control my anger; everything came out of me…I wanted to kill him. If you hadn't stopped me I don't know how it would have ended, believe me when I tell you I wouldn't have regretted it either."

"Why do you think I got so upset the night we went dancing? Do you remember, when you told me how he pushed himself on you? I almost went looking for him that night, but I didn't. Looking back now, I probably should have – you wouldn't have gone through what you did had I taken care of it then." He was lost in thought, reflecting how he could have altered it all.

The tears were flowing freely now, for me, for him, for his old girlfriend. "You ask that I move on, but you haven't. You said you built a wall around your heart; you still have regrets that you haven't moved past. So how can you ask me to move on?"

He pulled me into his arms, "Because Bella, you're the one who can show me it's achievable. I want you to be the one that proves it's possible. It's too late for Teresa; she's lost. My regrets are minor; you showed me there's room in my heart…I don't have to block my feelings anymore. For you…I want so much, I want you to experience everything she never will."

"I'll make you a deal; if you move on, really work on getting past this…I'll do the same. Is it a deal? Will you try?" he said nudging me with his shoulder while still holding me.

Crying harder now, I nodded my head; I couldn't speak.

"We'll get past this, don't worry sweetie," Sighing lightly he stroked my arm, "and if Edward screws up again, well lets just say he'll regret it."

We sat there for a while; he held me and I cried. It was a release for everything, the attack, finding Edward again, hurting him; but slowly I regained control.

"Are you okay now?" He asked gently. I nodded my head slightly. "Good, because I really need to get going. When I get back I want to see nothing but a smile on this pretty face, okay?"

I pulled myself from his embrace; smiling shyly I nodded at him. "Okay, but we have a deal right? You're going to work on healing at the same time as me right?"

"Deal." He said smiling broadly. "If you want to talk, I'll be here for you…even if it's just for tutoring." His smile changed slightly and the sadness returned to his eyes.

Wiping away the last tears, we stood and walked upstairs. Before he left my side, I grabbed his arm, "Thanks again Ian, for everything."

"My pleasure Bella. Just promise you'll live life to it's fullest and make the most of it."

"I promise." As soon as the words left my mouth I realized this was a promise I intended to keep. Of course this would complicate things with Edward, how do I continue to live life when he was such an important part of it.

"Good. I'll see you Monday." He walked away and I went into the kitchen to get a drink.

I wasn't ready to face Edward yet; I needed a moment to myself. Grabbing a glass of Orange Juice I sat down at the table and put my head in my hands. How could I keep my promise to Ian when ending my life was the only solution to being with Edward? Most likely he would be happy, he never wanted me to become a vampire, but if he remained seventeen how could I continue to grow old if he was my future. It was all so complicated, I wanted to be a part of his world for the rest of time, but I wanted my current life too. My head hurt from trying to sort through everything.

Putting the glass into the sink, I sighed. I needed Edward; I was ready for his arms. Walking out into the common room, I saw him and Roxanne out on the deck. Inhaling deeply I felt my muscles tightening, I couldn't discuss anything right now. Please let him understand, the only thing I was capable of right now, was being held – there was no way I could have another serious conversation this evening.

As soon as I was outside, he came to me and wrapped his arms around me. "Thanks" it was all I could say hoping he understood. We stood there for a moment and I took his hand to lead him to the chair, my legs wouldn't hold me upright anymore. Please let him understand; there was no way I could discuss today – not now.

He held me close without saying a word, I felt myself relaxing. Roxanne knew well enough to leave and said goodnight. My eyes burned from all the tears but I couldn't close them yet, if Edward wanted to talk I'd need to tell him it was impossible. If I closed my eyes, I'd fall asleep – I was already nearly there.

"Are you okay?" he whispered in my ear as he stroked my back.

I could tell by the tone in his voice, he would let me tell him everything in my own time. "Uh huh, let me just stay here in your arms for a minute. Okay?" My eyes closed as I felt relief washing over me.

When I woke up, I was stiff, every muscle groaned as I shifted position. I felt his arm wrap firmly around me. "Easy, you don't want to roll off the chair." He chuckled lightly.

"Ugh, what time is it?" I pushed against him to sit up; the blanket he must have wrapped around me fell to my waist. My eyes were heavy, swollen from all the crying but I could see we were still outside.

"It's 4:00am. Would you like me to carry you to your bed? You should get some more sleep, it was a long day for you yesterday." He asked hesitantly.

"Ut uh." A shiver ran through me, he draped the blanket back over me quickly.

"It wasn't very wise of me to keep you out here, but I didn't want to disturb you. I did get a blanket from the house, but selfishly I knew if I put you to bed I'd have to leave. Sorry." He said softly but he didn't sound the least bit repentant.

Curling back into his arms, I yawned. "It's okay, there's no place else I want to be. Besides we need to talk." I felt him stiffen as I said this. "Don't you want to know what happened with Ian? And I'm sure you have a few questions from earlier as well." I said while rubbing my palm across his chest. It was so comforting to be in his arms again, I needed to tell him everything.

Shrugging his shoulders lightly, "If you're up to it, of course I'm curious. But it was a long day Bella and there's time. Perhaps you should rest a little more before we get into the details."

"No, I want to tell you now. It's quiet and no one will overhear."

He waited patiently for me to begin, but I didn't know where to begin. Should I start with the interview or with Ian first? I knew he heard most of the interview, I saw the chair as we left.

"Why don't you begin, what would you like to know first?" I asked him hoping he would start with the interview.

He shifted slightly under me, "I'm sorry I wasn't here, that I wasn't able to protect you from that animal." He was playing with my hair absently. "When I heard how he took advantage of you, it made me, well…you saw the chair. I'm so sorry Bella, I'll never forgive myself for leaving you." He pulled me into a tight embrace and I couldn't move a muscle if I wanted to.

"Edward, it's not your fault, so stop. We've had this discussion before; you can't protect me from life. I am only human, remember." I sighed knowing this would be part of our discussion and I felt him tense again. He knew as well as I did we would have to discuss this and he was just as anxious as I was.

"I don't take responsibility for his actions Bella, only mine. If I hadn't walked away a year ago, you never would have had to go through what you've been through the past few days. There wouldn't have been a problem with Derrick; Ian wouldn't have been a part of your life. So as you can see, I do have a role in this, I'm taking responsibility for that." He told me dryly.

It was so typical of Edward to find a way to make everything his fault. He refused to realize this was my life, things always happened to me. Somehow he continuously misconstrued it and wound up taking responsibility for the things that happened. Once again, he was twisting this around, making his role in my life a bad thing. It always came back to this, me defending vehemently the need for him in my life and his pushing back thinking he was wrong for me. Would we ever get past this? We needed to; how would we ever continue if we didn't.

Struggling to free myself from his embrace, "Stop, just stop Edward." He let go of me quickly and I stood. Glaring down at him, "We need to resolve this, I can't go on wondering when you'll leave again."

He shook his head quickly, "I'm not going anywhere Bella. I'm just stating the facts as they are. Please don't confuse the issues, let's discuss this properly. You asked what I wanted to know first. I heard everything you said to Detective Hammond, there are no questions to ask. It's abundantly clear you went through hell with that boy, had I been here none of this would have happened. I'm not leaving Bella; let me make that perfectly clear. I will never leave again, so you can stop questioning that right now." He stated defiantly.

"Good, because if you are questioning your role in my life, or if you continue to question it – I will leave Edward. I'm through walking on the blade of the sword. We need to resolve our future one way or another." I saw the glint in his eyes when I threatened to leave. Of course I'd never have the strength to walk away; doing that would be impossible. But he needed to know I how I felt, we couldn't continue dancing around the issue.

Smiling up at me knowingly he said as his eyebrow rose questioning the sincerity of my words. "Is that so, you would walk away?"

Sitting down on the chair across from him abruptly and pulling the blanket around me tightly, "No and you know it, damn it. I just wanted you to know I'm serious; we need to talk about our future. Remember in the hospital in Phoenix you said we were at an impasse; well it's time to find a solution. No more impasse, okay?" I asked firmly.

Standing quickly he knelt before me, taking my face in his hands. "It would be my pleasure, there's nothing more pressing to me than making you happy." Gently he pulled my face to his and began kissing me. At first it was like our usual kisses, brief, hesitant as if the mere act would flutter away but soon I found myself wanting more. I pulled his shoulders forward and gripped tight, trying desperately to convey how much I wanted him.

Before I knew it we were back on the chaise lounge, it was in the complete reclining position and I was under him. His lips were on my neck, kissing me urgently; his hands were stroking me lightly roaming down my arm drawing me into him. The space between us was non-existent, I arched myself into him as he pulled himself up and began kissing my lips. Opening my mouth hesitantly I felt his cool breath in my mouth, I gasped. He pulled away slightly but only to gently blow in my ear as he whispered, "Breath love…just keep breathing. If you want me to continue you must breath."

I didn't want this to stop so I inhaled deeply and arched further into him, feeling myself pushing against him with my body, he groaned, his breathing matching mine. His lips crashed onto mine, his tongue darted into my willing mouth and gently touched mine. My breath caught, the icy feel against my warm willing tongue caused a flutter deep within me. Grabbing the back of his neck I moved my tongue to his, wanting more, but it was gone. There was a brief touch of his icy lips on my cheek, his breath escaping his lips causing a swirl in my head.

His lips went to my chin trailing to my throat…my breathing was coming in gasps now. I felt his cold breath by my ear as he nuzzled into my neck kissing me. I felt a slight tug on my ear and his tongue lightly moving from beneath my earlobe. My body was responding, aching with desire. He kept kissing and licking me lightly with quick stabs making my heart pound.

I turned my face desperately seeking his lips on my own. I wanted, no desperately needed, his lips on mine. His lips eagerly found mine; his breath coming in gasps matching my own. His tongue gently outlined my lips and my mouth responded opening slightly allowing him access. His moan echoed in my mouth as his tongue touched mine and gently roamed, darting lightly in and then slowly coming out…only to repeat the process…gentle kisses breaking the pattern. I forgot to breathe; then I inhaled deeply getting the full power of his scent in my nose and the back of my throat. I lost control and grabbed him, arching my back throwing my head back further giving him full access to my throat as I groaned in pleasure.

His hands were swift, moving around to the back of my neck and pulling me to him as his lips melted into my neck. His movements slowed and he began kissing my collarbone making his way to my shoulders, our bodies moving together fluidly. His one arm went to my lower back as it arched out to meet him while his tongue, lips and teeth lightly grazed my skin causing my body to spasm with shivers of delight.

He pulled away slightly, slower than normal. "Bella, I can't continue with this, it's making me crazy. I want you so much; I don't want to hurt you. We need to talk…" his breathing was labored and his eyes were burning with desire.

Clearing my throat I thought not now, why now – but knew once he made up his mind there was no way I could convince him to continue. We'd exceeded the boundaries he put in place a year ago and I was pleased to know he was just as driven with desire as I was. This would have to do for now, he was right. The sooner we worked out our future, the better – our passion was always burning, but the time to resolve the impasse was now.

Adjusting myself slightly, I pulled myself up weakly. He smiled slyly as he adjusted the chair so it was in a sitting position, "Sorry love. I got carried away, it won't happen again." He sat at the foot of the chaise lounge putting some much-needed distance between us. I missed his touch already.

"Now that's something we really do need to discuss, because if that's not going to happen again…you're in serious trouble." I folded my hands on my lap and looked sternly at him as I took in a deep breath.

"Yes Mame." He chuckled. "If you think my self-control is unbreakable, you are sadly mistaken. I've wanted to do that for a very long time. So where shall we begin?" He asked smiling brightly.

Now that the moment was here, I was tongue tied, licking my lips lightly – I tasted him again and smiled shyly. "Well, why don't we begin with what just happened. That was wonderful, why did you stop?"

He grinned, "It was, wasn't it…but stopping was necessary Bella. I could hurt you if I lost control; it's hard enough to keep my composure around you. You're such a temptress; everything about you drives me into a frenzy. Your blood, your heartbeat, your body, and your kisses…it's enough to make me mad with desire. Such a little tease, no…it's best we didn't continue." He shook his head slowly.

"What's worse, the desire for my blood or the desire for me?" I couldn't get any more descriptive than that; I already felt the blush rise to my cheeks.

"It's equal Bella, I'm just able to control my desire for your blood better, I've had plenty of practice with _that_ self-control. The human desires, well I've never felt like this before; it's all new to me. So what this requires is a bit more patience." His smile was overwhelming; it took my breath away.

"Well…maybe we should practice a little more. You know build up your strength like we did with your other desire. Mind over matter, right?" I looked up at him through my lashes, naturally embarrassed by my thoughts and curious to see if he was even slightly in agreement.

Shaking his head stubbornly, "No, that's not possible. You don't understand just how much you drive me crazy. If I were to loose control at all, I could kill you. Remember I told you it requires a great deal of restraint to even touch you Bella. You are much more fragile around me, you're fragile all the time, but with me you are especially vulnerable."

"Oh," I said gulping at the thought; that would be awkward. The visions that flashed through my head were disconcerting. Edward and I in the throws of passion; him accidentally hurting me or worse…how would that get explained to anyone!

"Judging by the look on your face, I see you understand some of the complications." He said raising his eyebrow and smiling.

"Yes, some…" I whispered. "but…"

"No Bella, we have to be careful. Obviously I can control myself a little better than past moments, but we need to be cautious. When it comes to your safety, I'm sorry I'll never stop being protective. I know how you feel, I'll try to be a bit more realistic with my protectiveness, but when it comes to this – we need to proceed carefully. This is dangerous territory we've just crossed into." He said quietly almost hesitantly. There was something else to this, something he wasn't telling me.

"Aside from the breakability, what else is there? You're holding out on something…remember complete disclosure. We work through things together, including this Edward." I said sternly, this should be interesting.

"Yes, yes you're right. But you need to remember there are limitations to what we can and cannot do Bella." Pulling me into his lap and sitting back on the chair, "I'll work through anything you want, but my being a vampire and you being human…well there are things that are naturally problematic."

"About that…" I said quietly.

"Yes?" he said hesitantly as he stroked my arm lightly.

"Well, I've been thinking about it and…well…" I didn't know how to say this. How would he take it? Before he left it was the one thing we disagreed about. We were constantly at odds about this, now I had a reversal in how I felt, not a reversal but more of a hesitation. I couldn't help but be concerned he would think I didn't love him as much. Especially with the complication of Ian, he might think it had something to do with my love for him.

"Bella, love, let me speak first. I know how you feel, I've had some time to think about this myself and well as much as I'm not convinced it is the right course I'm willing to reconsider. If you really want me to change you – I will. This year apart…"

"What?" I pushed away from him quickly, startled by his words. I couldn't have heard him right, did he just say he would change me? This couldn't be happening, now that I've decided to remain human…at least for the time being, he decided he'd change me!

Smiling gently, he stroked my cheek. "I said, I'd change you if that's what you really want." He looked so proud of himself, but his eyes showed that he had his misgivings about it.

Turning in the chair so I could look at his face, "Edward, I can't believe this." I stood up and began pacing frantically, what should I do? I wanted to be with him…but I also wanted to keep the life I was building. Not for very long, just a year perhaps – maybe less, but still. He was willing to do it now, if I hesitated now he might change his mind after a couple of months.

"Bella, what's wrong? I know it's a shock, in the past I was so determined to keep you human but after our year apart I realized living without you is not an option. If we are to be together the only choice, the only reasonable choice for both our comfort is to change you." His voice was anxious, he spoke hurriedly like he needed to get the words out before he changed his mind.

I turned to face him, "Edward, I don't want to change. I'm sorry, but I realized you were right. Life is worth living." When I said this his face changed, he couldn't mask the hurt I saw on his features.

Rushing to his side, "Wait, let me finish." I put my hands on his face, staring into his beautiful golden eyes; I saw the hurt in them – the hurt I put there. "I still want to be with you for eternity, but coming here experiencing college and meeting new people…I'm not ready to give that up yet. I know once you change me I won't be able to communicate with my new friends; I won't be able to attend classes. I'd just like some time to enjoy the human experiences – this is what you were always trying to tell me do. Now I know you were right."

"I see." He said stiffly, "Okay, that's acceptable." His face was a mask, a stone mask. I wasn't getting through to him; he misunderstood. This couldn't be happening, there had to be a way to get through to him.

"Look, I can see by your face that you don't understand. This isn't fair Edward, you were the one who wanted me to remain human – you were the one who insisted I didn't know what I was asking of you. Now, now when I see that you were right you turn it around, twist it – making it seem like it's you I'm rejecting."

He looked down at his hands and thought for a moment, "Bella, the only thing I want is for you to be happy." Looking back at me, he smiled slightly, "I'll wait for you, I have no choice – there is no future for me without you. I'm hopelessly addicted to you, if it takes you years to decide to join me then so be it. I told you once, it doesn't matter to me how old you are; you were the one who insisted on being equal in age. I do have a question though, are you sure your reason is due to a desire to experience life, or is there another reason? Are you unsure of your love for me Bella?" he asked hesitantly.

I smiled warmly, "No Edward, I'm sure of my love for you. There is nothing I'm more certain of, you are the only constant in my future – everything else will require Alice's assistance to keep me on course."

"Good, that's all that matters. Everything else will come in time." He pulled me back into his arms, I cuddled close to him breathing in his scent and feeling more secure than I had in days.

I was still curious where our future boundaries would be, would he go back to the chaste kisses or was there a chance we could learn how to be closer even with all the obstacles in our path.

Sighing deeply I heard him whisper sweetly, "Rest Bella, you're safe and I'm not going anywhere – ever."

Closing my burning eyes, I heard my lullaby gently being hummed as his chest vibrated in rhythm with the sound.

* * *


	44. Game On

**Game On**

**Not my characters, just my story!**

* * *

EPOV

Sitting in the little cove by the lake gazing out at the mountains gave me the opportunity to reflect quietly on the past week. It passed quickly as they normally do in my world, Bella had a great deal of class work to catch up on and she returned to work on Monday.

Sunday afternoon, we stopped by North Country to let John see for himself she was doing well. Roxanne called to let him know what happened with Derrick and that she would be unable to come to work for a few days. He was visibly shaken until Bella reassured him everything was fine and promised she was well enough to return on Monday.

His thoughts portrayed mild interest and shock that Bella and I were together. Of course, he remembered me and greeted my appearance by Bella's side with an odd familiarity and caution. He was still uncomfortable in my presence, but seemed pacified slightly considering that Bella was so at ease with me. His thoughts conveyed that he would be watching over her carefully now that I was in her life.

Once we left the store, Bella turned her beautiful chocolate colored eyes on me in fury. Somehow we had never returned to the conversation about all the things done to protect her. When she realized Alice was the one who suggested John feature the vampire themed books in the window, her anger settled some. In recalling her words, I smiled _'stupid telepathic vampire, we could have been together sooner if she hadn't interfered. Not to mention I wouldn't have had to decorate a window.'_

I kept my promise to Roxanne though and never let it slip we had been consorting behind Bella's back. Based on her reaction to our intrusion on her work place, the recipe card and the jacket it seemed to be more than enough for her to be frustrated with my family and I. She tried unsuccessfully to be angry about the iPod but once I explained the songs loaded were picked with the purpose of subtly reminding her of my love, she calmed down.

My family was thrilled Bella and I were back together not to mention slightly confused by her decision to stay human for the time being. Carlisle and Esme were supportive of course, but Esme was still concerned how it would affect Bella and my future. Emmett was torn in his feelings, his obvious pleasure in her human traits provided him with entertainment but he was anxious to have her become his little sister. Jasper's feelings were also conflicted, he still felt uncomfortable about his encounter with her last year, but knew she had to reach the decision to become one of us in her own time. Rosalie was the most interesting of all; she was pleased and even made casual attempts to be civil around Bella. This remarkable change in heart made Bella uncomfortable, but being Bella she graciously accepted the transformation. Alice was Alice, being able to see the future she held no doubts for our course and made sure everyone understood Bella's decision was temporary.

All in all, I was extremely happy with how things were progressing. The time Bella and I had together was short due to her living arrangements, as well as her class and work schedule but I adapted to it graciously – knowing we had eternity. It was easy to accept once meeting her after class and seeing the glow on her face and excitement in her eyes as she told me what they had discussed in class. Bella was invigorated by her college courses; they brought her so many fulfillments it was easy to understand why she was hesitant to walk away from it. My insecurities were quickly abashed after witnessing her exhilaration first hand.

Bella provided me with most of the discussion she had with Ian. My gratitude and respect for him grew when she told me about his past. It was amazing he had been able to control himself at all the evening of her attack given what he had been through. I had only been to the house once when he was around; it was best to provide a little distance for the sake of everyone in Bella's home. Although he was true to his word and stepped aside for Bella's benefit, his discomfort with our presence was palpable. Bella had subtly made it clear until Ian was more comfortable with being only her friend she preferred we avoid the house as often as possible.

During the week when her schedule allowed we came to my family's house. To say she was impressed would be an understatement. Her eyes roamed the rooms in awe as she took in the vastness of the space. Emmett teased trying to get her to ride the horses, as I heard his thoughts I growled to dissuade him from his efforts. He only wanted to embarrass her hoping her attempt to ride would rescind the miserable attempt he had – Bella knew her boundaries in certain areas though. I was extremely appreciative of this fact; I didn't know how I would have managed watching her attempt to handle a horse. I made a promise that I would curb my over-protectiveness and any attempt she would have made to ride a horse would have wound up in an argument.

Alice and her wonderful visions; she was able to see the college administration and Derrick's mother would go to the house yesterday to remove his items. Due to her sight we were able to ensure Bella was nowhere in the vicinity, based on what we had been able to discover about his mother she was most likely the reason for Derrick's behavior. Bella was not equipped to handle such a harsh shrew; from what I was able to gather she was very vocal in blaming Bella for Derrick's current circumstances.

Alice was tempted to meddle in this particular situation, wanting nothing more than to make the nag know exactly what her family was opposing when confronting Bella. It took Jasper and I to assure her this would not be advisable considering our future plan.

This evening was Roxanne's party so Alice and Roxanne had taken Bella to get her costume, courtesy of my family. Roxanne still believed the costume shop in Burlington had the right attire for our needs. Emmett and Rosalie had accomplished the task of getting the costumes into the shop and ensured they were put on hold for our use this evening. Alice was a bit over the top with her plans; unfortunately Jasper was still being summoned to attend. I smiled as I thought of everything both he and I would sacrifice during our many years roaming this earth – between Bella and Alice we were sure to have many adventures.

Just then I heard Emmett and Jasper's thoughts as they approached my perch on the beach. _'Edward, are you ready to go?_' Emmett asked excitedly. He was more than a little enthusiastic about this afternoon's activity.

Standing and taking one last glance at the mountains, I turned toward the opening in the cove just as Jasper came into view. His face showed his anticipation, _'This will be quite amusing, let's go before we miss the chance.' _

I smiled at him and raised one eyebrow quickly, "Don't worry, we won't miss this opportunity. I've checked with Alice, it is timed properly and we'll take care of this – there will be no problems. Emmett can drive, I'd like the ability to get out the car before parking."

Clapping his hands together loudly, "Yeah man, let's go kick some ass!" I laughed putting my hand on his shoulder, I agreed with his sentiment thoroughly. My only concern was if Bella found out what I was about to do, she would most certainly disagree. I will gladly pay the consequences of my actions though, she may want me to change my behavior in certain areas – but there was no way I would set aside this opportunity.

The drive to the train station was uneventful, Emmett dropped Jasper and I curbside so we could plan accordingly before the action began. The station was crowded which was exactly what we needed, plenty of cover and commotion. Glancing at the boards to see which platform the train would depart from, we waited for Emmett to join us.

Emmett's job was to follow our quarry and make sure he was seen. His sheer size and bulk were enough to begin the intimidation process. Although our victim didn't know who Emmett was, his responsibility was to glare menacingly to ensure he knew he was being watched. Of course, he wouldn't know exactly why Emmett was giving him the evil threatening glares. Our desire was to have him nervous and worked up frightened beyond words. It was justified considering.

Jasper and I would be waiting by the platform. Jasper's responsibility was to ensure that no one else came close while I took care of our problem. Not knowing how our victim would react was an issue we would address when the time arose. He deserved to be as frightened and nervous as Bella had been, I wanted him to know even though the judicial system was providing him with an opportunity to correct his actions – I would not provide forgiveness or a second chance.

Emmett's thoughts resounded in my head, _'Edward, they're here. They're buying the tickets now. His escort is leaving now…pretty pathetic you think they'd stay until he was on the train at least. It's not like his mommy would stop him from bolting. I'm getting right behind them in line, I'll accidentally bump into his mom if you want.'_ He chuckled at his own dark humor. The thought was intriguing considering some of the remarks I'd heard she made when picking up his belongings. Emmett knew better though, he would stick to the plan.

Searching out the random thoughts within the station for his, I quickly found him. _'Stupid cops, okay I'll play along…I'll head back to New Jersey for now. Make sure everybody is happy and unaware and then I'm coming back. She won't be walking around with her smug attitude for long, she's mine and it's about time she learned what that means.' _

A low guttural growl escaped, my fists were clenched, my jaw tightened, teeth snapping – several people around me backed away. Jasper glared at me, _'Edward calm down before we get thrown out before taking care of business.'_ I felt a wave of calm wash over me and shook it off.

"Jasper if you could hear the thoughts you too would be homicidal." I snapped at him. "Stop manipulating my emotions, I want to have my full faculties when I deal with him."

He glared at me, _'Believe me, I want nothing more to tear this scum apart limb from limb, but that would not bode well for our family or Bella. You need a dose of calm to ensure you don't overplay your hand. Calm down, he'll never get near her again.'_

Sighing loudly I unclenched my fists slowly, finger by finger snapping them back into open palms. Then I clasped my hands together tightly wringing them slow and firmly. This boy would leave the station and never come back to Vermont, he would clearly understand what would happen if he even thought for a moment about Bella again. "Fine, just make sure you provide a distraction long enough for me to convey my intentions should he consider coming near her ever again."

'_Edward they're heading towards the gate areas for the platform. He's noticed me now, he keeps looking over his shoulder – but his mommy keeps distracting him. She's yanking him by his arm, squawking in his ear the whole time. It's actually pretty funny to watch, people are giving them reproachful looks because she's so loud.' _He was laughing; I just hoped his sense of humor wasn't portraying the wrong message to the little maggot.

Turning my head slightly to tune Emmett out and get a better frame of reference to him, _'What the hell is with that big guy? It looks like he's following us; maybe the cops put him on our tail. No, he doesn't look like any cop I've ever seen. He's too big and looks pretty thickheaded, it doesn't seem like he's got enough brains to be a cop – although the cops up here are pretty stupid. Jeez I wish mom would shut up, she keeps blabbing I can't concentrate with her harpy voice in my ear. I really want to reach out and backhand her so she'll just keep quiet. That would be sweet.'_

The arrogance of this kid, I felt myself tensing up again…it couldn't be soon enough that he was within my reach. His thoughts today were enough to make me enraged, when I think about what he put Bella through my thoughts become murderous. I can see very clearly his cowering body beneath my crouch as I approach for the kill. A vision of Bella's angelic face came to mind just then, she wouldn't approve at all and Carlisle's disappointment would be the catalyst to a depression that I didn't even want to consider.

Inhaling deeply to gain some composure over my anger, I looked at Jasper – he was eyeing me warily. He would make sure I didn't go overboard in my dealings with the boy, but if I drew blood he would be sure to lose control. Of this I was absolutely certain, I needed to remain in control even if my desires didn't match what I'd be able to achieve.

I needed to focus on something to keep me from going over the edge and letting my anger carry me away. Closing my eyes, I pictured Bella in my mind. Her beautiful face, smiling at me happily; her head thrown back in laughter; deep in thought her face scrunched in concentration and lastly when she was sleeping soundly, I felt the tranquility easing the tension in me. Even Jasper's talent didn't soothe me as thoroughly as thoughts of Bella could. The benefit of picturing her face now gave me the incentive I needed to take care of what was to be dealt with but still maintain control of my anger.

My head snapped up as I heard Emmett's thoughts, _'Coming in your direction brother, game on.'_

Making eye contact with Jasper, he quickly understood and walked towards the platform entrance and leaned against a support piling casually. Glancing back in my direction, he nodded towards a bench behind me indicating there were people in the vicinity, _'Careful in your actions, Edward.'_ I acknowledged his thoughts with a quick nod.

I saw Emmett before I saw the punk; he was following very close behind the boy and his mother. Derrick kept turning to see how much distance was between them nervously. Emmett was truly having fun, as his facial expression would change from a threatening glare to a questioning appraisal of the small rodent.

Just as they were passing Jasper, he jumped out yelling fire – which he had started with scraps of newspaper. People started running towards the entrance to get away from the healthy blaze that was burning.

Running quickly I reached Derrick's side and pulled him away from the entryway shoving him against the wall. Jasper waved his arms keeping people moving towards the exit including Derrick's mother as she shrieked his name. Emmett looking forward to the opportunity to avenge Bella's good name, shoved her pretty hard towards the doorway, nearly knocking her over. "Move along lady, don't you have any sense at all." He glared at her threateningly and the cry for her son's safety froze in her throat.

My hand was around Derrick's neck constricting any noise from coming out, I continued watching until the coast was clear. Then I leaned in baring my teeth and growled; he shook visibly in my hand. "So Derrick" I purred menacingly, "it's very nice to make your acquaintance. I've heard so much about you and have looked forward to this moment for several days. In fact, my brothers and I," stepping back letting him drop to his knees I joined the sides of Jasper and Emmett, "were counting down the days until this moment."

"Who…who are you?" he whined. "Wh…what…do you want from me?" His voice was shrill and full of fear.

"Oh, that's right…where are my manners, we haven't been introduced. My name is Edward Cullen and this" I gestured with my left hand "is Jasper" extending my right arm "and Emmett. You don't know us but we know you."

Jasper had his hands on his hips with one leg extended forward ready to jump in case he moved a muscle. Emmett had his arms folded across his broad chest clearly showing the size of his enormous biceps.

"Bbbbut, what do you want from me?" he asked as he looked at both Jasper and sized up Emmett.

"I was getting to that, you see my brothers and I are from Forks Washington. Does that town sound familiar to you?" I paused waiting to see if recognition would register. "No, oh well that doesn't surprise me. You don't have the capacity to retain any information if it doesn't directly impact you and what you want. That happens to be the town where Bella Swan comes from. Ring any bells now?" My eyebrow raised, I crossed my arms across my chest as his expression changed from fear to surprise.

Emmett laughed, "I think he's following along now Edward."

"Yes, but does he realize what it means yet. He seems a bit dense to me." Jasper added. He smiled at me and winked, within moments I sensed a dose of fear being directed towards Derrick. He had no idea it was emanating from Jasper and quaked as it enveloped him.

"Derrick sorry to remove you from your mother's protection but we needed a moment of your time and she, well she's a bit difficult to manage. We won't take too much of your time I just had a few things I wanted to make sure you were clear on before heading back to the safety of New Jersey." I knelt down close to his face being careful not to get too close to the puddle that was forming around him.

He wrapped his arms around his head, "Ppplease just leave me alone. I pppromise I won't come anywhere near her."

As my face got right next to his, I removed his one arm from cradling his head. "You see, that promise isn't good enough."

My head snapped up, there were people coming towards the door, I spoke quickly to Jasper – "You need to get to the door quickly I'm not done yet, take care of the problem." He rushed to the entryway to keep everyone at bay while Emmett came behind me with his back towards me offering a protective cover.

Derrick was weeping now, "Wwhat are you gggoing to do to me?"

I grabbed his wrist and squeezed not using enough strength to cause any real harm other than a nice bruise for him to see for the next couple of days. "Here's what I want from you, you will write a letter to the authorities admitting your guilt. Then you will find someone to give you the help you need because that's all Bella really wants for you – me I'd rather see you locked up for life, but she's a forgiving person."

Grabbing him by his hair, I pulled him to his feet and shoved him against the wall again; I wanted him to see my face for the last statement. "The last thing is the most important Derrick." I spit his name and put my face very close to his – "You will never, ever, raise a hand to another woman. In regard to Bella, you will by no means come near her – that's not all though, you won't even have a thought about her after making your apologies. If you do, I'll know. Bella is a very special person to me and I'll be by her side every moment from now until eternity. So if you even have a whisper of a thought, I'll know it. If that happens, you'll die – please understand this is not a threat; it's a guarantee. The only reason you aren't dead right now is I made a promise to Bella, but all bets are off if I even smell your scent anywhere near her." My voice was low and threatening, but barely a whisper.

He was whimpering uncontrollably now, moving my nose towards his chin I inhaled deeply. "Just getting the scent imbedded into my memory properly. Although I do hope you clean yourself up and will not always have the smell of feces, it is very offensive." I dropped him again and clapped my hands together as if cleaning any dirt that may have soiled them.

Touching Emmett's shoulder lightly, "Let's go Emmett, I think he's clear on what we wanted now."

Emmett turned towards him and leaned down, "Jeez dude, you really need to learn how to control your bladder." He chuckled lightly and clapped me on the back as we moved towards the doorway.

Walking out of the platform area Jasper yelled, "It's over now, the fire's been put out." His tone and demeanor had people mistakenly believing he worked for the railways. He used his talent to control emotions, which afforded us the ability to keep anyone from entering while we dealt with Derrick. He had kept them so confused they barely knew why they were even at the train station.

My anger was still raging; I wanted so desperately to remove that boy from walking the earth. But as Emmett and Jasper walked beside me the anger began subsiding. Emmett's joy was contagious and Jasper was telling us both how Derrick's mom was panicking looking for her boy – shrilly yelling at anyone in proximity that she thought he might have been hurt in the fire. If only!

Driving back to the house my mood lightened significantly, I had taken care of what I could with Derrick without jeopardizing my family or Bella. Emmett and Jasper were reliving the moments in excruciating detail as we laughed at Derrick's reactions. I'd bet any amount of money he was looking at the bruise on his wrist right now still trembling. He may not have known we were vampires, but he most certainly knew there was something inhuman about the three of us.

When we drove up to the garage, I noticed Alice and Bella sitting out on the deck. Smiling to myself, I couldn't wait to hold her in my arms once again. Unfortunately, before we went to the party this evening I was going to have to hunt. Jasper and I would need to head out into the surrounding forest if we were to attend the party without having any difficulty – Jasper needed it due to all the humans and I needed it because of all the energy I dispelled dealing with Derrick.

As we approached the house Alice yelled, "Edward, tell Bella she has to dress up for the party! She's being difficult, once she saw her costume she refused to cooperate."

I laughed lightly; this was typical. Knowing both Alice and Bella this discussion must have been taking place since they left the costume shop. "Alice, give it a rest; Bella will wear her costume. There's no way she'll disappoint her friend Roxanne." I jumped up on the deck in time to see Bella rolling her eyes and Alice sticking her tongue out at Bella. Eternity was going to be a long time with these two.

"Thanks for your support Edward." Bella said sarcastically. "Wait till you see your costume…you may change your mind." She said smiling brilliantly thinking she had me on this point.

"Love, I already know what Odysseus wears – actually I'm looking forward to carrying his bow." I winked at her slyly. Pulling her into my arms I inhaled deeply and whispered seductively in her ear, "I can't wait to see you in Penelope's garb."

She pushed away from me playfully, "Edward, it's nothing more than a sheet with a belt. I can't wear that."

"Bella, if I can be Athena and Jasper can be Telemachus then you and Edward can go as Odysseus and Penelope. We're all basically wearing the same thing, the only difference is I get to wear a crown." She giggled lightly as she stepped lithely into the house.

"She can be so annoying at times." Bella said pouting.

Reaching over and pulling her chin up I kissed her lightly, "Yes, but you love her and know you'll wear the costume. You just want to give her a hard time, I don't know why you bother though – it's not like she hasn't seen this evening already." Wrapping my arm around her and gently leading her back to the chair, I pulled her into my lap. Looking out at the beautiful view with Bella on my lap I couldn't be more content.

"So what did you three do today?" she asked as she cuddled closer into my arms. I felt a slight shiver as she adjusted her body to form around mine.

"Hold that thought for just one moment, I'll be right back." My intent was to retrieve a blanket for her, but I also needed a moment's delay while I thought of what I would tell her.

When I came back out, Bella was standing against the railing with her arms wrapped around herself. Throwing the blanket over her shoulders I repositioned us back on the chair, "Now what were you asking?"

Shifting her position so she could look into my eyes, "I asked what you three did today? But let me just warn you, I know most of your delay tactics Edward and you just bought yourself some time, so what's up?"

Grinning shyly hoping I would dazzle her, "What makes you think I was delaying anything?" I asked her innocently.

"Edward, the time it takes a normal person to retrieve a blanket is one thing, but for you it's usually less than a second. So please, just tell me. Will I be embarrassed this evening?" she questioned sternly, she wasn't going to let this go.

"No, love I wouldn't embarrass you in front of your new friends – I swear!"

"Then what aren't you telling me?" she continued to question.

She was entirely too perceptive for her own good, "Okay, I'll tell you. We took a trip to the train station." I responded quietly knowing she would understand.

"Oh!" she whispered. "What happened, or don't I want to know?" she asked hesitantly. She had tucked her head back under my chin and curled tightly into me.

"Nothing too bad. I just let him know in no uncertain terms what would happen if he even thought about coming near you again." I replied playing with a strand of her hair. I was unsure whether or not she would be upset. At this point she just seemed curious, not angry. "You aren't angry?" I asked, curious myself now.

"No, knowing you as well as I do – it was actually expected. In fact I'm surprised it took a week, I half expected you to break into the jail to confront him. It was probably better you did it today, I can only imagine the scene if you had done it while he was locked up." A shudder ran through her and I held her tighter wrapping her further in the blanket. "So how did it go? I mean did he seem…well was he sorry?"

Kissing her head I sighed heavily, "Bella, when will you learn. You expect too much from people at times. He wasn't contrite; he was insolent when he first arrived. But not to worry, he's changed his tune – he understands the consequences should he decide to return to Vermont." I rubbed her back lightly and twisted my fingers around hers, as I stared out at the mountains.

At first she was completely silent, processing what I just told her. Trying in her own way to understand how someone could be so callous; it was against her character, so comprehending someone so dark in nature was a struggle.

"It's just so odd he seemed so normal during dinner." She whispered.

"Hearing his thoughts, knowing what I now know Bella, perhaps that was the charade. Prior to revealing myself to you, I heard his thoughts – they were stray errant clips that would come to me, but they were dark. I'd rather not discuss exactly where his thoughts took him, but you should understand that he was always sick." Curling a finger under her chin and lifting her face slightly so I could look into her eyes I asked, "Do you believe me Bella? I am not reacting out of an imagined threat."

She looked at me sadly, "Yes, I believe you. I'm sorry it's not that I doubted you; it's just so peculiar. If you could have seen his behavior at dinner and then it was like a switch was thrown and he was…"

Looking into her eyes and seeing the sadness there had an effect on me, I grabbed her face and kissed her passionately. My mouth moved with hers as I tried to kiss away her pain – helping her to heal. This wasn't the solution and I knew this, but when looking into her deep brown eyes and seeing the depth of her compassion I couldn't help myself.

She pushed against my chest firmly breaking our kiss, smiling she looked at me, "Not that I mind, but what was that for?"

Hearing her heart beating rapidly I chuckled, "It pleases me to hear you don't mind, do I need a reason to kiss you? I was overcome by your beauty."

She rolled her eyes, "As much as I'm enjoying our quiet time together," she stood up taking my hands in hers pulling me to a standing position, "we need to begin getting ready for the party. Even though I won't be wearing much more than a sheet, it's going to take some getting used to walking around in one." She laughed lightly. "Besides, I can't wait to see you in your costume, it's quite interesting." She blushed and walked into the house.

Jasper and I had just returned from hunting but we needed to hurry to get dressed for the party. Alice had spent the time we were hunting preparing herself and Bella. Although the costumes were elaborate and my costume in particular required me to put on facial hair as well as the armor, it would only take me moments to get ready.

When I went to my room, my costume was laid out upon my bed. It consisted of guards that wrapped around my forearms, boots that came up to my knees. The shirt and armor were separate pieces; the shirt was protection from the armor that was fashioned in leather. It wrapped over the shoulders and joined at the abdominal area where it met the skirt area. The skirt fell mid-thigh and was sliced into many strips of leather. Smiling to myself, yes Bella would appreciate this, it was quite revealing.

I quickly put on the armament and went to my bathroom to apply the facial hair. It only needed to be a light covering as if days spent without shaving. Looking in the mirror briefly I was glad facial hair was not in style in 1918. I went back to the bed grabbed the cape that attached to the back of the shoulders, and attached it to the shoulder guards.

Even though, we had been out hunting and had returned late, Jasper and I were still ready before Bella and Alice. Standing as I heard them coming towards the stairs I walked to the opposite side of the room. I wanted to have the first view of Bella when she came down the stairs. Alice was first to come to the landing, she was dressed in all white, with gold trim around the edges of her dress, and her waist had a very wide gold belt that had a pattern of ivy on it. On her head she had a delicate crown of gold ivy leaves that matched the pattern on her crown. She did look like the Goddess Athena in many ways with her skin looking like porcelain.

Alice looked up the stairs and sighed exasperatedly, "Bella, come on…you look great. Stop being such a baby, get down here." _'Edward if she's not down here in 30 seconds you'll need to go up and get her.'_ She walked away from the steps and went to Jasper's side smiling grandly at him as she appraised his costume.

Jasper's costume was similar to mine in many ways, the difference between his and mine being some of the decorative patterns in the armor and an enormous bow slung over my shoulder. The bow of Odysseus, the bow that proved to Penelope I was the one suitor worthy of her.

"Bella will come when she's ready Alice. It's only a party, we'll get there when we get there, it's not like it won't start without us. There's barely a person attending that will care if we are there. I'd prefer Bella come to the party if she is comfortable, not because we pressure her into it." I winked at Alice knowing Bella was listening.

Alice nodded her head towards the stairs quickly and winked in return. As I looked up, she was coming down the stairs I'd never seen anything more beautiful. Alice had curled her hair into light spiraling curls, yet pulled back most of the hair into a loose clasp so that only slight wisps escaped lightly framing her face. She had a very long sheer chiffon veil in a pale blue draped over her head, the veil had tiny strands of gold weaved through it that shimmered in the light as she walked down the stairs. My breath caught as I gazed at her face, her natural beauty was never more evident.

As I watched her coming down the stairs carefully, she chuckled, "Edward, what's that on your face?"

I stepped over to her just as she reached the bottom of the stairs, stroking my chin lightly, "The Greeks were at war, there wasn't time to shave while at battle." She reached up lightly and touched the fake hair I had applied to my face smiling lightly.

"Well, since it's only a costume I guess I can get used to it for tonight. But you shave first thing in morning." She laughed easily as I smiled at her.

Putting my lips against her neck and lightly rubbing it, "Don't you like the way this feels?"

She giggled and pushed away, "It tickles, stop that," she said as she slapped my arm lightly.

I stood back and looked her over; she looked spectacular. Shades of blue varying from very light to midnight hugged her upper torso and draped lightly to the floor. Her neck and collarbone were left exposed, the only adornment was aquamarine and gold jewels holding up the light fabric that hugged her breasts, dipping low showing a bit of cleavage. The belt just below her breasts matched the jewels on her shoulders, the positioning of it enhancing her body and making her appear taller. Her left shoulder was covered with another layer of fabric draping to form a shawl over her left arm and fastened loosely at her right hip with another large aquamarine stone. There was a gold bracelet festooned on her right bicep nicely accenting her skin tone and delicate arm.

"Edward, you're staring. Alice, I told you I looked ridiculous." She said firmly and turned to start walking up the stairs again.

Grabbing her by the waist I pulled her into me before she could take another step, "No my love, ridiculous was the last word I would use to describe how you look. You take my breath away…Penelope never looked so good. No wonder Odysseus struggled for years to return to her." I whispered in her ear, my voice low with desire.

Pulling away slightly, I admired her beauty once again. Slowly looking into her eyes, my fingers went to her face lightly tracing a line from her cheek to her chin while continuing a trail down the side of her neck to her shoulder. My eyes watched the progress of my finger trailing slowly down her arm causing goose bumps to appear on her skin, she shuddered lightly as her heartbeat raced and breathing quickened.

"Jasper, we better get going before these two find somewhere else to be. Come on, my visions of tonight keep alternating from the party to Edward's room." She turned to Bella and I, "Although I also appreciate the way my husband looks, we need a party – we have a lot to celebrate." She grabbed Bella's hand and pulled her towards the door.

Bella looking longingly over her shoulder and smiled shyly blushing. "Edward would you mind grabbing the shroud. Even if it is a prop I'm most likely going to need it to cover myself up this evening," she said giggling.

The party had been a great success; everyone was light-hearted and enjoyed themselves after a stressful week. Alice was right; we weren't the only ones who had needed a break. The costumes were an assortment of characters throughout time; everyone had gone out of their way to join in the celebration and dress accordingly. Sonny and Cher, Romeo and Juliet, the wretched Jason from those slasher films, Frankenstein, there was even one person dressed as the Michellin man.

Roxanne was jubilant, thrilled that her party was a success. Her costume had been appropriate; she dressed as mother nature. Her hair had flowers weaved through it, the dress had leaves and sprigs of ferns attached – she even had the sun, moon and stars painted on her face.

Sam and Anne had come as a matched set of 1930's mobster and his girlfriend. He carried the look well considering his serious nature and Anne's lightheartedness worked well with her costume as a flapper.

Much to Roxanne's dismay, Drake hadn't wanted to match her costume so he came as a baseball player. She was slightly disappointed but the two of them were still going strong in their relationship and clearly worshipped each other.

The most ironic costume of the evening was Ian, when Bella and I saw him both of us were taken off guard momentarily. Then we looked at each other and nearly laughed as he approached, he had come as a vampire. Black flowing cape with the enormous collar and red satin lining, he didn't use the fake teeth but that was merely because they were too cumbersome to wear all night.

Bella enjoyed herself throughout the evening and even danced with Roxanne and Alice, much to my surprise. There were a few times the random thoughts of some of the boys made me uncomfortable and I would pull her possessively to my side. When that occurred Bella would just look at me lovingly understanding how these thoughts disturbed me.

Ian was slowly coming around; apparently he received a call from his previous girlfriend Teresa. She had heard from their mutual contacts in New York State that Ian had been through another experience similar to hers. She reached out to him and they've begun speaking again – he seems quite pleased with this turn in events. Bella and I were very pleased; there were now two good things that came from Derrick's attack.

Now that the party was over, Bella came back to our house with me. I tucked her into bed and held her while she slept. I was right in my assessment I would have to keep an eye on the amount of alcohol that Bella consumed. She didn't get drunk, but she was feeling slightly tipsy by the end of the evening. Any inhibitions she usually felt were dispelled from the affects of the alcohol.

When we were leaving the party she was particularly amorous and kept commenting on my attire and how much she appreciated the way the costume looked on me. It was all I could do to control myself as I felt the same way. She was able to charm me into pushing the boundaries this evening, our passion igniting as we both felt the pull of attraction in wanting to discover more of one another. It was necessary for me to restrain her somewhat and push my self-control even further; perhaps having her in my room alone was not the most appropriate of things to do, but I couldn't spend the evening without her in my arms.

Her costume only enhanced her beauty and my yearning; Bella quickly became overcome by our brief lack of control and I was forced to be firm with her against my own desires. She didn't understand the risks involved in going too far. We would need to discuss this important subject at length very soon, but tonight was not the night.

This evening had been perfect in many ways; our time together and commitment to one another was interminable. I had no doubt our discussions regarding the future would be mildly frustrating and interesting at the same time. There was no uncertainty in my mind that Bella would inevitably get her way; my resistance to her charms was tenuous at best.

Smiling down at my angel, I looked forward to our future and the peaks and valleys we would scale together. Touching her face lightly so as not to wake her, I whispered in her ear "Eternity my love, destiny will allow nothing else."

* * *

**AN:** Well, I'm hoping that you all liked it! It would be great to get some reviews from the people who followed the story all along but didn't write a review. Is everyone happy, I cleared up all the loose ends. There may be one more chapter in me that would be a glimpse of the future but I'm not sure. It very well may be the end, let me know what you think.


	45. Chapter 45

For all of those who have marked my story as a favorite, I'd like to first say thank you for being a reader who enjoyed reading it. Secondly I'd like to tell you that I've been honored by being nominated for an award for my story. If you would like to vote for my story as a favorite then you can easily follow the link I've provided and go to the voting tab to show your support.

http://theindietwificawards dot com

For me this is a great honor as I've never written a story before and to be recognized is wonderful. I hope you have time and will vote when you have a moment.

My story is nominated in the category of Best Alternate Universe in the completed story listings. The title is Destiny Will Not Be Ignored.

Thanks again for your support, for reading and appreciating my first attempt at writing. I enjoyed writing it and have been thinking long and hard about a second story to write. You may get an update when I begin the next story and perhaps some of the characters from Destiny will return!


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